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elcapfool
Big Wall climber
hiding in plain sight
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Topic Author's Original Post - Apr 16, 2006 - 11:51am PT
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There must be a bunch of stories to tell about the non-climbers that have past through the scene at camp 4. And yeah, I suppose Chongo counts, but I'm hoping to draw out the Ted and Betty stories.
On day I came down from my bivy to the site my friends and I were allegedly staying in, to find a homeless looking dude using my stove and frying pan. Just as I was about to say something rude and accusatory, he turned and said "Good morning, you want some steak and eggs?"
Well, that took the ill wind right out of my sails. "Hell yeah" was all I could think of to say. I turned out that my buddy Mark had run into him last season and gave him the green light to mooch our site. We called him Generous Jim. He claimed to be an author, but it turned out he was a pathological liar. Walt rode by on his bike, and Jim said "there goes John Grisham. He's an autor buddy of mine."
He would come back from the store with hundreds of dollars worth of steak and salmon. There was no question he was avoiding the cash register part of the store. He would bring back Elephant, the most expensive beer they carried.
He was gone the next day. Seems Lobo found him swimming in the lower falls pool buck naked at 1:00 in the afternoon. Tourons were not amused. So after a short stay at the John Muir bed and breakfast, he was back in camp.
About an hour later he got arrested for public drunkeness walking back from the store with a six pack. Although he had not had a drop of alcohol for days, Lobo saw where this would inevitably lead. Gotta love the pre-emptive justice he used to dish out.
So, the next day Jim is out again. I was making a food and cigarette run to Oakhurst, and Jim tagged along. He said he knew someone in Oakhurst that could provide the unmentionable supply to round out the shopping list. Whatever...
So he has me stop at the hardware store, no problem, I needed some 1/4" nuts (remember when you used to need those...).
He walks up to the counter and asks the guy "where is the poor section of town?" As you can imagine, that did not get a positive response. He went on to say he was delivering a package and was told to go to the poor section of town. Yeah, right.
Seeing that he had no clue, I insisted we get the shopping done. I drove into the market, and he said" Oh, I know that guy" and jumped out of the truck. I went in and did the shopping. When I came out, he was nowhere to be found. I waited for about an hour then drove back to the Valley.
He showed up in camp about a week later. Turns out the "guy" was an undercover cop who didn't see the humor in being asked if he was holding.
I've never heard of anybody being arrested 3 times in one week. He also said he did the Zodiac back in 1970, but he didn't know a carabiner from a piton.
And Porter didn't put it up until '71.
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akclimber
Trad climber
Eagle River, AK
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Apr 16, 2006 - 12:04pm PT
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"And yeah, I suppose Chongo counts"
LOL!
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Ouch!
climber
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Apr 16, 2006 - 10:10pm PT
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elcapfool, that is one of the best stories I've read in a long time. That dude was something else. LOL!
"avoiding the cash register part of the store."
Great line. LOL!
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Jaybro
Social climber
The West
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Apr 16, 2006 - 10:53pm PT
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I'm cogitating, but for now, anyone remember;
Howard Hughes?
The Hatchet Lady?
Guido(?)
-thats what we called him, Small colorful mandolin playing man that wore a scarf and silver mustache,only spoke Italian-sometimes right in your face at great length, totally affable, though. rumored to be a shell shocked WWII resistence fighter. -Also, was actually a climber, so may not count.
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Hurricane
Trad climber
Eldorado Springs
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Apr 16, 2006 - 11:15pm PT
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Is that guy George still around flipping pancakes at the Lodge?
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steelmnkey
climber
Vision man...ya gotta have vision...
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Apr 16, 2006 - 11:49pm PT
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I've had that Elephant stuff before, but it's been a long time. I recall it was powerful brew (12%+ ?) that would put hair on yer palms.
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Dapper Dan
climber
an 89' honda accord
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Apr 16, 2006 - 11:58pm PT
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when i worked in Yos. in 04' George would make me my burgers and pancakes . he always wears that weird joker hat , he's a character for sure with his weird pitched voice and mangy beard .
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
one pass away from the big ditch
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Apr 17, 2006 - 01:39am PT
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non-climbing characters are the seasonal employees that live over near Curry.
wow what a group of knuckleheads!
Was visiting one such friend one summer and quite a few of these characters were sitting around in the morning belly aching about anything and everything. I took it in stride seeing how I was staying in the tent cabins nearby. But they would say the most random stuff about nothing at all. Quite odd. But the kicker of it was that NONE of the other people I met over there climbed on rocks.
It blew my paradigm away. Why would one work in the Valley and not climb on rocks? It was completely antithetical to my way of viewing the world. But i did learn that many were backpackers and would cruise sections of the PCT and JMT in a day and back at work the next day. Trip.
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WBraun
climber
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Apr 17, 2006 - 01:43am PT
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"It was completely antithetical to my way of viewing"
Of course .... most climbers have narrow tunnel vision.
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jt
Trad climber
joshua tree, ca
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Apr 17, 2006 - 10:05am PT
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In the mid 80's, or somewhere around there, i was spending part of the summer hanging in the valley when my brother and his wife paid me a visit. They are big wig, silicon valley, executive types, and don't know anything about climbing or climbers.
I was giving them a tour and telling them about the crags, and local characters. We were walking from the lower falls area towards C4. We were just about at Swan Slab when i told them about Brian "Way" Knight. His bivi was just above where we were walking. All of a sudden Way appears and he is jumping from one rock to another. It appears as though i am going to have to introduce him to my family. My sister in law asks Way why he is rock jumping. He tells her he does this so the tool can't see his footprints or find his bivi. He then procedes to tell her all about his OB camping life.
We end up at the garbage terrace for lunch, and somehow Way has invited himself. Of course Way does not have enough money to eat. My sister in law offers to treat. At this time i believe that he offered to trade her a rigd shaft friend that had obviously taken a big horizontal fall. It was almost bent 90 degrees. He told her that it was still good for aid though, like she really knew wtf he was talking about. she declines the offer for the cam, and invites Way to sit with us.
Way starts talking about philosophy and his view on the world, and then brings up the stroller test. My sister in law asks what that is. Way asks her what she would do if she was in the GT and accidently dropped some food on an empty stroller while walking to your seat. Nobody has witnessed the event. Your choices are: stop and clean up the mess and leave a note, or look around, if no witness, keep on walking. My Brother says that his wife would buy the owner a new stroller. I don't even have to say what Way would do.
Around this time some young, 1st time in the valley, wanna be a climber, curry employee, was clearing our table and started talking to Way. The kid was asking Way when they were going climbing. I guess Way had convinced this kid that he was the greatest thing to come to the valley since the invention of spring loaded camming devices. Way said soon, and dismissed his protege. As the kid was clearing our table, some chocolate pudding fell off a plate and landed on Way's pack. Nobody saw this except for me and the kid, but the kid did not know that i saw this. He looks up at me and the rest of the group and just walks away without saying anything. I immediately tell the group what happened, and we all get a good laugh. I ask Way if the kid passed the stroller test, he looks down at his pack with the big blob of chocolate pudding on it it and says, I guess so.
As we are leaving we pass Chongo, who Way promptly sells his meal receipt to for half price.
Just another day in the valley.
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Karl Baba
Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
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Apr 17, 2006 - 10:39am PT
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"We end up at the garbage terrace for lunch"
Garbage....If only we could still get all you can eat garbage for under $10. Those were good eatin days for climbers.
Peace
Karl
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jt
Trad climber
joshua tree, ca
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Apr 17, 2006 - 10:41am PT
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lois,
thanks for the suggestion, how does it look now?
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jt
Trad climber
joshua tree, ca
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Apr 17, 2006 - 10:45am PT
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Karl,
Yep, i agree with you there. i loved that place.
We used to have contests to see who could stay in there the longest while continually eating. Brian won with a time posted of 5 hours and 40 minutes. Climbers are probably the reason that place went out of business.
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wildone
climber
right near the beach, boyeee (lord have mercy)
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Apr 17, 2006 - 10:46am PT
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Awesome thread. Yeah, I ran into quite a few working in the valley for three years. It'll take me a while to remember a good one though.
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elcapfool
Big Wall climber
hiding in plain sight
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 17, 2006 - 12:48pm PT
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That reminds me of the time I went to the Indian buffet in Fresno with Mr. Way.
If you know Way, you know his priorities in life are:
Personal Hygene
Indian Food
Berating Others
Climbing
Sex
in that order.
After an impressive display of gastronomic indulgence that you wouldn't suspect possible from someone so skinny, he went back for his 5th plate of Dahl Makhani and Chana Masala.
The Maitre'd intercepted him on the way to the buffet and said loudly with a heavy Punjab accent "SIR, all you can eat does not mean ALL YOU CAN FVCKING EAT!!!"
Of course Way's response was "Well what the hell does it mean, then?" To which the reply was "You get out! You never come back!" And then he went on a tirade in Punjabi and knocked Way's plate to the floor.
Luckily, there are several other Indian buffets in Fresno.
Way also showed me the Russel Stovers candy factory outlet somewhere south of Grand Junction. He was the same way there, but they didn't seem to mind.
Last I heard Way was driving Pizzas in Pueblo Colorado.
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elcapfool
Big Wall climber
hiding in plain sight
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 17, 2006 - 01:00pm PT
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Oh, and then there was the touron in the meadow with a bigazz telescope looking at climbers. It was the kind of scope you use for looking at nebulas and galaxies. You could read what was written on climbers helmets on top of boot flake.
He is panning around from party to party, and all of a sudden shouts out "Martha! Come quick! This guys NAKED!" So I look over and see the he is aimed at Native Son. "Oh,No," I thought to my self as I went over to talk to him. Sure enough, it was PTPP using his solar shower. With absolutely no modesty, Pete was facing out from the wall, all lathered up, buck naked.
Of couse the question of toilet practices came up and I explained that climbers spent many days up there and that was just part of the game. Showering, however, was something only Pete does, most of us just use baby wipes.
They were impressed that Pete wasn't just climbing the wall, he was LIVING up there.
Sorry if that embarrasses you Pete, but I doubt it does.
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elcapfool
Big Wall climber
hiding in plain sight
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 17, 2006 - 01:17pm PT
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Yeah, I cleaned it up for posterity. Funny how that scope made everything else look bigger, but seemed to have a dead spot...
Hey, you're a doctor now? Weren't you a nurse back then?
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elcapfool
Big Wall climber
hiding in plain sight
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 17, 2006 - 01:27pm PT
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And then there was the woman with the telescope watching her husband solo Tribal Rite. She seemed to know an aweful lot about climbing, and was SUPER proud of her husband. Turned out I had heard of him, but had never met him. He had invented THE solo device of the day, a desireable item, but well out of my price range.
I came away from that encounter hoping to find someone who felt that way about me someday.
Not tryin' to embarrass ya' Kath, just remembering when we met.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Apr 17, 2006 - 05:51pm PT
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As I understand it nudity is entirely legal inside National Park boundaries.
Not that it would stop Lobo from saving the world. Is that really true? Preemptive public drunkeness arrest? You gotta be yanking my chain (and yes, I do know him).
Werner, I can even see short distances in wide tunnels.
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elcapfool
Big Wall climber
hiding in plain sight
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 17, 2006 - 06:59pm PT
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100% truth. I swear to god, I saw it happen with my own eyes.
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