Trip Report
Climbers save their country! (Yes this is damn on-topic)
Friday January 25, 2013 1:16am
Werner is right. You Americans are stupid. So let this be a wakeup call. Climbing isn't just a hobby. It is the real deal. It is more important than online wanking about politics or religion or boobs.

Okay, maybe not more important than boobs, but it is the real deal. And this is a story about two people who not only post here on Supertopo, but who also use their climbing skills to save the world!

Those of you who’ve come to know Ghost and Tami through this forum probably don’t see much more than a couple of old folks who used to climb. Some of you may have done a few of our routes, and maybe you remember the cartoons and the novels. But mostly, if you think of us at all, it’s as oldsters to be humored. Mostly harmless, and good for a laugh now and then, but not all that exciting or important in the grand scheme of climbing. You probably have a mental image of us as something like this:
We were young once.
We were young once.
Credit: From the web

And that’s fair enough. You have your climbing heroes. Supertopo gives you the opportunity to genuflect in front of your monitor when it displays stories of climbing gods like Largo with his muscles, and Mark being as free as he could be, and others whose photographs appeared on magazine covers a long time ago. But before you write Tami and I off as underachievers, as people who wasted their immense potential by getting wasted, people who did mediocre climbs and wrote silly stories, consider that those modest achievements you know us for were products of the limited time available to us in our public lives. You have to understand that the bulk of our time and energy was spent saving the world in our secret roles as superheroes.

Yes, it’s true. In the pantheon of Superheroes, we stand tall.

Well, actually we’re both kind of short, but to say “In the pantheon of Superheroes we stand short” just doesn’t have the same ring, does it? In Canada, there are even statues of us in the Parliament Building in Ottawa.
Yes, we have been honored.
Yes, we have been honored.
Credit: From the web

Don’t believe me? Think about it this way: How many 5.12s would JB have soloed if he'd had to spend eighteen hours a day fighting the forces of evil? Yeah, that’s right, exactly as many as we did. He’d have been lucky to get up 5.11 on a toprope. And as for the oh-so-intriguing dark side of the Superhero… F*#k that. You all watch movies about Batman or Wolverine and think “Ooohhhhh! He’s so angst-ridden!” Give me a break. Those are movie stars. The stories those guys act in are fiction, and the only angst afflicting them is whether they make twenty-three million per picture or just twenty-two. We, on the other hand, actually suffered. Here’s just one story…

You could say it really started in 1759 on the Plains of Abraham, just outside what is now Quebec City. But for us it started when the phone rang in the climbing store I was pretending to work in back in 1980. Some guy in Toronto wanted to know if anybody working there knew anything about climbing. I thought about hanging up. I mean, what kind of sane person in Toronto would call a climbing store in Vancouver and ask if someone there knew anything about climbing? But the alternative was to stock shelves or deal with customers, so I said I was the guy, and how could I help.

What followed was a bunch of bullshit about shooting a film, and needing to know if there were any mountains in BC that would make a stunning backdrop for a commercial, and… Mostly I tuned it out. BC is covered with mountains the way a rat is covered in fur – what kind of idiot was I talking to that didn’t know that? But then, in the middle of all the drivel I heard the words, “Canadians must understand the need to keep their country from fragmenting.”

Well, why hadn’t he said so at the start? Superheroes need meaningful projects every bit as much as Alex Honnold does. And what could be more meaningful than saving my country from disintegration at the hands of French separatists?
The French are coming!
The French are coming!
Credit: From the web

It appeared that I was being offered a chance to conquer the French Menace and get in some climbing all on the same day. And to top it off, there was money to be had. In all those movies and comics about superheroes, the subject of money somehow never comes up, does it? But in the real world, superheroes make dirtbag climbers look successful and wealthy.

Since this was beginning to sound good, I called my friend Tami, who, like me, was pretending to be a dirtbag climber while in fact living a secret life as a superhero. For those of you who don’t know her, I should point out that she was often not operating entirely on natural neurotransmitters, and therefore talking to her about specifics could be difficult. I, however, knew her well, and knew exactly how to catch her interest. “Hey Tami, you wanna make a bunch of money?”

Altruism is a worthy goal. Both of us aspired to it. In the next life perhaps we will even achieve it. But in this life we still had to deal with the reality of putting food on our plates and keeping the sleeping bags patched. Gold spoke to us in a loud voice.
What it's all about.
What it's all about.
Credit: From the web

And so, with gold-clouded vision, we became the stars in a movie that was pivotal in saving our country. It wasn’t a long movie. Just 30 seconds. But it was shown over and over on every TV station in Canada, and since most of the country still speaks English, it must have been the key to saving the country. Right?

Tami wrote up some of what happened in her diary, and posted it here on Supertopo a while back. It’s a fun read, and some of it is even true. As for the parts that aren’t true, well, they’re all fine with me. Superheroes are kind of like priests, you know. Okay, superheroes mostly aren’t interested in molesting children, but they do see and hear a lot of things that have to remain confidential, so Tami’s tale of what happened is as good as any – If I had written it, it would be different, but it wouldn’t be any closer to the truth.

Words, though, only go so far. Anybody can write anything. But pictures… Ah, pictures provide some evidence that words speak truth. Well, okay, pictures did provide evidence once upon a time. Like when dinosaurs walked the earth with Sarah Palin’s grandfather six thousand years ago. Now, however, in the age of digital everything, pictures are meaningless.

Or maybe not. You decide…

First things first, right? You want to know about the cast. Who starred in this epic adventure? Let’s start with Tami. To the world, she was just one more lame little hippie climbing chick.
Hey, wanna go climbing?
Hey, wanna go climbing?
Credit: From the web

As for me, well, to the world at large I was just another piece of human garbage, rotting in the back alleys of Needle City.
Sometimes, being a hero isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Sometimes, being a hero isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Credit: Ghost

But as her companion on countless death-defying adventures over the centuries, I knew Tami as something else entirely.
Yes, you're going to die.
Yes, you're going to die.
Credit: From the web

And, like Tami, when the call came from a troubled world, I answered.
And if she doesn't kill you, I will.
And if she doesn't kill you, I will.
Credit: From the web

In a sane world, the story would end here. Tami and I heard the call, and would answer it. Separatism would get kicked into the next dimension, and the good folks in Medicine Hat, Alberta, and Porcupine Plain, Saskatchewan could get their morning coffee and donuts at the local Tim Horton’s and never know they’d come within a whisker of losing their empty lifestyles. But this is not a sane world. This was to be a movie. And to make a true Superhero Movie, you need sidekicks, right?

All Superheroes have sidekicks. Batman and Catwoman have Robin and… Who does Catwoman have? The Green Hornet had Kato. Dick Cheney had that talking chimp. So, we dangled dollar bills in front of some of the dirtbags we pretended to be friends with back then, and sure enough, a bunch of them showed up for a casting call. There was food, an open bar tab, and the director’s wife to fantasize about. In the end, although many were called, only three were chosen.

But, dirtbags or not, they were a manly bunch. There was Peter. The World’s Greatest Rock Climber. A fitting choice for a parable based on rock climbing.
Dream on, ladies.
Dream on, ladies.
Credit: Ghost

And John, a fine climber and all-round great guy. But a great guy who didn’t understand what usually happens to Sidekick #2 in Superhero movies.
They don't come much more badass than this.
They don't come much more badass than this.
Credit: Ghost

And Ryan, a climber who, although unknown to the world at large, operated at a level achieved only by one other – the legendary Tronc Feillu. If you have to ask about Tronc Feillu, you wouldn’t understand the answer, so don’t ask.
The ultimate climbing partner.
The ultimate climbing partner.
Credit: Ghost

(And before you ask why Tami got all these Manly Men to play with, while I didn’t get nothin’, just remember that director’s wife…)

So. With heroes ready to rumble, and sidekicks on standby, the show was about to get on the road. At which point Superhero #1 said: “Uh, hang on a minute.”

You see, while normally any gig with Tami was cool – who better to watch my back while I watched her back (well, more often her front) – she was going to be fully occupied. Preening for the camera, right? And trying to avoid stepping in the puddles of drool from the men on the film crew.

Time for something beyond a sidekick. Time for someone who could deal with the copious quantities of herb that were sure to be involved (this was Canada, remember), yet able keep it together enough to make sure I was still around to walk into the sunset with Tami after saving the country. That is, someone who could set a trustworthy belay no matter how f*#ked up he got. So I sat the director down and said “Hire this man, or the show’s over.”
The bear, as a cub.
The bear, as a cub.
Credit: Ghost

You can’t make a Superhero movie without Superheroes, and if the Superhero says “Hire Peder, or else,” then you swallow your objections and hire Peder. From your perspective it’s only money. And someone else’s money, at that.

With Peder in, the show could finally hit the road. Of course, the road ended after a couple of hours and then it was time to hit the trail. But nobody worth his entry in "Who’s Nobody" hits the trail without the right tunes. So we took a time-out to debate exactly what constituted the “right tunes.”
The right soundtrack is crucial.
The right soundtrack is crucial.
Credit: Ghost

With tunes chosen, we were ready to hit the trail for real. But we knew that our sidekicks, stalwart mountaineers though they were, would never make it to the summit for the filming without some inspiration. As we debated what might inspire our crew of manly men, Tami realized her shoe had come untied.
Oh dear, I think I just have to bend down and tie my shoelace.
Oh dear, I think I just have to bend down and tie my shoelace.
Credit: Ghost

Thus inspired, the crew was ready to go, and we headed into the wilderness. It was tough going. But we were tough climbers, and we simply put the pain out of our minds and got on with it. After pushing our bodies to the limit for almost five minutes, some in the crew were starting to fade, so we gave them a break.
If you're going to fight monsters, you might as well get wasted.
If you're going to fight monsters, you might as well get wasted.
Credit: Ghost

The break dragged on a bit as the crew prepared for the filming by practicing manly poses.
Who could ask for better companions when things get tough?
Who could ask for better companions when things get tough?
Credit: Ghost

Of course Tami and I were above this worldliness. We didn’t really need a break, nor any artificial aids. Tami satisfied herself with a simple drink of clear water from a mountain stream, while I satisfied myself with the view of Tami satisfying herself.
Preparing for battle.
Preparing for battle.
Credit: Ghost

Thus refreshed, we continued upward. Some seeking the summit, some seeking wealth and fame, some seeking only to serve the common good, and some simply content with the view of their favorite superhero partner’s butt.
She Who Must Be Drooled Over leads the manly men into the Battle With ...
She Who Must Be Drooled Over leads the manly men into the Battle With The Forces Of Evil
Credit: Ghost

Up and up we toiled
Supermonkeys, ascending.
Supermonkeys, ascending.
Credit: Ghost

And yet further
Establishing the high ground in preparation for the battle
Establishing the high ground in preparation for the battle
Credit: Ghost

Till, at day’s end we reached the summit
Our last sunset?
Our last sunset?
Credit: Ghost

Knowing that there would be a hard day of celluloid fame ahead, we settled in for the evening. Some, not worried about anything more serious than what they would spend their ridiculous paychecks on, chose to smoke vast quantities of dope and listen to Pink Floyd on the boom box. One, however, knowing that he’d actually have to earn his paycheck by taking repeated falls for the camera, chose to simply watch the sun go down for what he hoped was not the last time.
Not a bad choice for a last bivi site.
Not a bad choice for a last bivi site.
Credit: Ghost

Morning found the team alert and ready to save their country.
Battle-ready in a way Seal Team Six can only dream of.
Battle-ready in a way Seal Team Six can only dream of.
Credit: Ghost

Now, given that it is going to take some time for the team to get its collective sh#t together enough to boil water for coffee, this may be a good point to take a break and go over just what the whole deal was really about. As noted at the very beginning, this all happened back in the dark ages, when evil people from Quebec were attempting to… Well, whatever it was they were attempting to do, it was evil. And would surely have prevented ordinary Canadians from ever having coffee and donuts at Tim Horton’s ever again. So the country’s leaders decided that the only answer was to blow trumpets from the heights and stir the blood of those ordinary Canadians and make them hate the French.

But how to stir the blood of these people? Speeches from the steps of the Parliament Buildings in Ottawa? Leaflet campaigns in Safeway parking lots? Sunday sermons? Clearly, none of that would work with the coffee-swilling hordes, and the only answer was to have Tim Horton himself speak out. But, given that he’d died six years earlier, that was going to be tough. So, with no rational plan available, the decision was made to make a series of short films that could be aired as “TV commercials.” The logic was that the average Canadian, watching TV in the evening after downing the usual six or eight beers, would not notice that these were not advertisements for automobiles or laundry detergent, and that the message would pass subliminally into his/her subconscious, to resurface months later at the ballot box.

So, a hotshot crew of writers and directors was hired, and a half dozen 30-second films were planned around the theme of “One person can’t do it alone, but working together we’ll get the job done.”

Despite my Superhero-level intellect, it was never clear to me how this was going to convince anyone to vote for “the repatriation of the constitution.” Or, for that matter, how repatriating the constitution would save the country from the Quebec menace. But “understanding” isn’t really part of the superhero job description. Your country calls, you answer. No understanding needed. Particularly when large amounts of cash are involved.

Okay, background story over. We were awake, and there was a film to be made. Studly mountain climber pulls for the summit, but, in his hubris, forgets that he can’t do it alone, and falls into the void. Since he’s Canadian, his team comes to the rescue and together they all stand victorious on the summit – speaking English. Yeah, I know, it’s a crock of sh#t, but wtf, the money would make the next season’s dirtbagging a whole lot easier. So we all swallowed our nausea and gathered round to set up the falling-from-the-last-move shot
Mike the Cameraman meets the Dream Cast.
Mike the Cameraman meets the Dream Cast.
Credit: Ghost

The guy on the right is Mike. A cameraman. According to the folks we were working for, he was not just a cameraman, but Jesus, Thor, and Buddha rolled up into one body and reincarnated as a cameraman. Which we didn’t doubt, but even if you’re the greatest cameraman in the history of film, it’s hard to step out of a helicopter onto a tiny summit and do your Oscar-worthy thing if you’re totally f*#king terrified of heights. Especially when you realize that what you’re being asked to do is to place you lens squarely into the superhero’s chest then tumble over the edge with him. We all figured it would look really cool to have the falling climber appear into the frame that way. Mike figured he was doomed. But, doomed or not, the guy was a pro. We lashed him down on a three-foot leash, told him that it was totally safe for him to let go of his sanity, and the man just buckled down and over-rode his fear. Stone professional.

Action time. John raps down to set pro in a crack about fifteen feet below the edge, then on down to set a belay a ways below that.
I'm actually getting paid for this?
I'm actually getting paid for this?
Credit: Ghost

Then Superhero #1 fakes a slip on the last move and hurtles into the void
Take that, you silly French wipers of other people's bottoms!
Take that, you silly French wipers of other people's bottoms!
Credit: Ghost

And it was a total f*#king void. The drop was about 3,500 feet. 1,000 vertical, then another 2,500 of slightly less-than-vertical to where the angle eased and the forest started. Not much different than popping off the top of El Cap. Absolutely stunning place to stage the world’s most spectacular fall. Which we did. Several times. It was just a thirty-footer, but like I said, it was a thirty-footer into over 3,000 feet of air. Exhilarating. To say the least.

At this point, with the team together on top, a helicopter with the door removed and a camera platform installed was supposed to show up to film the summit celebration. But nothing happened. We sat around on the summit telling terrified Mike that if he’d just get wasted he’d feel fine, but after a while we all started to wonder if maybe the French hadn’t advanced their takeover timetable and somehow taken over the helicopter as well as the country. About an hour later we heard the Whup-whup-whup, and then a voice on the radio saying “There you are! We’ve been looking on the wrong f*#king mountain.

So, with Mike now in the helo to shoot from above, we threw our arms around each others’ shoulders, and waited for the filming to start, but what we got instead was a voice on the radio again: “For Christ’s sake, get the f*#k out of view.” Presumably a reference to the support crew of Peter and Peder, who were lounging around on top with us. “And kill that f*#king joint.”

Apparently they thought the smoke would interfere with the purity of the shot. Or something.

A couple more circles, and the call came to roll camera. Then the radio again: “Jesus Christ! You people look like you’re having a stand-up f*#k. Let’s get some separation here.”

So we gave the camera a bit of separation, the helicopter circled a couple more times, and we finally heard: “Great. We got it.” So Peter, and Peder came out of hiding, the chopper headed off to wherever, and us action-hero types scrambled down to where we’d left our packs and prepared to start the 6,000 foot descent to the car. But we’d only dropped down a few hundred feet when we heard the whup-whup-whup again.
What does he want?
What does he want?
Credit: Ghost

WTF? Do they want to re-shoot something?
You're getting a little close, friend.
You're getting a little close, friend.
Credit: Ghost

No, they’re coming right down to where we are. I mean right down.
Maybe he wants to bum a smoke?
Maybe he wants to bum a smoke?
Credit: Ghost

No one aboard but the pilot, who points at his mic and then at us until we realize he wants us to turn on our radio. “Which one is David Harris?” We look at one another, then five people point at me. “They want you to look at the rushes.” Now the pilot is pointing at me, then at the skid which is touching a rock on the 45-degree slope.

So, okay, I’m a superhero. I’ve rescued terrified people from rabid badgers, helped old ladies to cross the street, and generally been saving the universe since the dawn of time. But I know f*#k-all about film. Getting me down to Vancouver at helicopter speed to view the rushes is not going to make one damn bit of difference to this film. I am thinking about pointing this out when I also start thinking that wherever these people are likely to hold their “viewing the rushes” ceremony, there will be a bar. And serious catering. And the director’s wife will probably be there. Oddly enough, this seems more attractive than hiking five hours down to the car.

So I step on the skid, grab doorframe, and pull myself into the helo. Before I have time to say “Hey, there’s no seat back here.” Or “Hey, there’s no seatbelt back here.” Or “Hey, there’s no door back here.” My five mates are hurling their packs through the door and saying “Hey, take care of this sh#t for us.”

And then the pilot lifts off and immediately banks his machine hard to port so that the door hole is directly below me and 3,000 feet of space are directly below that. I spreadeagle myself across the empty door hole with all the packs on top of me, hoping that I will live long enough to strangle the f*#king pilot who forgot about the fact that with no seat, no seatbelt, and no door, his passenger was pretty much going to fall out of his helicopter when he banked it so steeply. Thank god I’m a superhero.

After a quick stop down at the highway to pick up the director and cameraman, we’re whup-whup-whupping back to the coast, and then to the hotel bar where we drink and wait for the film to be rushed through development and brought to us for viewing. It looks pretty cool to me, but the director is cursing. Seriously cursing. Because my fall into 3,500 feet of space doesn’t look rad enough. Doesn’t look rad at all. “Looks like you’re falling three feet into a f*#king sandbox!” More drinking. “We’ve got to re-do this.” More drinking. “I sure as hell hope this place you’ve got picked out for tomorrow is going to work out. We need a location where you can do some more falling with a cameraman directly beneath you. We can cut that into the shitty stuff we’ve already got and maybe it’ll work. Can you take us somewhere we can do that?”

More drinking. I had no idea what he was talking about, and no idea what we would do about it. but Squamish was just 45 minutes up the road, and whatever falling he wanted done, I was pretty sure there was some place at Squamish we could arrange it.

And arrange it we did. Picture this: One superhero babe supervising four young climbers on a ledge with a tight rope running diagonally up from them. Tami is the one in front — the one who is laughing so hard at something that has just happened to the guy at the other end of the rope that she looks like she might lose control completely and either pee her pants, or tumble off the ledge. What was she laughing at?

They’d set up a bombproof belay, plus triply redundant protection at the high point, and then let out a measured thirty feet of slack so that when I faked my fall I’d plummet spectacularly toward the camera — far enough to make it look good in the film, but not really all that far.
But as the milliseconds of the fall stretched out longer and longer, and the rock kept flying upward past me I realized that the belay had failed.

Forty feet.

Fifty feet.

Then TWANG, and I was hanging about one foot above the terrified cameraman, looking across at my superhero companion on the ledge, and knowing from her crazed laughter that it had been her idea to give me the extra twenty feet of slack.

The director thought it was sort of okay, but demanded that we do it again. So I jugged up, and plummeted one more time. I think we’d still be up there, shooting take after take, but the cameraman (not Mike this time) kind of didn’t like the idea of me plummeting fifty feet and coming to a stop so close above his nose that he had to put on fresh underwear after every shot.

So that’s it, right? Climbing shots in the bag. Falling shots in the bag. Time for the hotshot director to hand out a few checks, and then jet back to Toronto to turn our little adventure into celluloid gold. But no. In his mind, the image of me falling into the void still sucked. He might have footage of me plummeting toward the camera, but he wanted a better shot of me falling away from the camera. And if a real mountain top with a real 3,500 foot void wasn’t good enough, then By God a parking lot a few miles south of Squamish would be perfect.

He and his crew scoped it out.
Yeah, it's a parking lot dude.
Yeah, it's a parking lot dude.
Credit: Ghost

Everything was perfect in his mind. The climber would stand on the dolly, which would get pulled along the tracks away from the camera, and…

…and this would somehow look like a plunge into a 3,500 foot void?

No problem, sez he. “The green trees and gray cliffs across the road will be out of focus, and will look totally void-like.” Yeah, but what about the foreground? What about the mountaintop the hero is supposed to be pulling onto when he slips? “Forget it. We’ll make some rocks and it’ll be perfect.”

Make some rocks? But sure enough, the next morning there were rocks. Nothing you’d mistake for Baffin Island or Patagonia, but sort of the same color as Squamish granite.
WTF? This is a climbing scene?
WTF? This is a climbing scene?
Credit: Ghost

And the whole “How do you fall horizontally, in a parking lot?” question was soon answered. “We’ll just tie the dolly handle to your ass and then haul you backwards.”
Sure, you laugh. But it saved our country... And paid the rent.
Sure, you laugh. But it saved our country... And paid the rent.
Credit: Ghost

Which they did. Again, and again, and again. With a bit of artfully arranged sand blowing out from under my fingers as I “fell” from the styrofoam summit.

But of course even this wasn’t enough, and as the afternoon wore into evening, and the mountains to the east drained from view, I was driven to where they’d set up a trampoline in front of the setting sun. “Get up on that thing and bounce. Your hair will fly around, and so will all that junk you’ve got dangling off you. It’ll look great.”

And I’m sure it did look great, but on about the fourth or fifth bounce the #4 Friend that was flying up and down with me changed course and flew straight into my crotch and, for me, the party abruptly ended. Everyone else thought it was hilarious. I just curled up into a fetal ball and moaned.

But that’s life for a superhero. If you’re not prepared to take it in the balls for your country, you might as well just go get a college degree and become an accountant or a lawyer.

Me and Tami? We could take it.
Yeah, we saved our country. What did you do?
Yeah, we saved our country. What did you do?
Credit: Ghost

  Trip Report Views: 6,458
Ghost
About the Author
Ghost is a climber from A long way from where I started.

Comments
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Comment on this Trip Report
Tami

Social climber
Canada
  Jan 25, 2013 - 01:22am PT
Oh, dear me.
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
  Jan 25, 2013 - 01:53am PT
In conquering the twin demons of misery and boredom, you have "busted" your self and your partner.

Credit: mouse from merced
Two boobs from Lost Marble City.

You've outed yourself and partner in a manner deserving of being drenched in GRADE A TACO SAUCE!
climbski2

Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
  Jan 25, 2013 - 11:30am PT
AHahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!


Instant Classic!
Vitaliy M.

Mountain climber
San Francisco
  Jan 25, 2013 - 02:12am PT
Did you make Tami blush? lol



“We’ll just tie the dolly handle to your ass and then haul you backwards.”

That's hilarious. Good post!
froodish

Social climber
Portland, Oregon
  Jan 25, 2013 - 02:28am PT
Awesome. Thanks Ghost! (and +1 for Frazetta!)
slayton

Trad climber
Here and There
  Jan 25, 2013 - 02:53am PT
Thanks for posting up this serious gem!! Excellent and just what is needed around these parts right now.
RyanD

climber
Squamish
  Jan 25, 2013 - 03:48am PT
Wow Ghost, amazing! Such a cool story & such great writing, I just learned a bunch right there. I liked the opening statement, it caught my attention immediately.

So let this be a wakeup call. Climbing isn't just a hobby. It is the real deal. It is more important than online wanking about politics or religion or boobs.



But mostly, if you think of us at all, it’s as oldsters to be humored. Mostly harmless, and good for a laugh now and then, but not all that exciting or important in the grand scheme of climbing. You probably have a mental image of us as something like this:


Ha so true Ghost, all this time I thought u were just around here to be humored & share sarcastic comments with- hahaha boy was I wrong! Real life superheroes, right here on ST, thanks for saving us David & Tami so that we can enjoy this quality of life here today! One of the best TRs evar, I'm still laughing my ass off!
survival

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
  Jan 25, 2013 - 06:04am PT
Best TR since the beginning of time!!!!


Unfortunately, I am offended by superheroes.


And Canadians.


And especially Canadian superheroes.


What I am not offended by are Tami's thighs.....sweet baby jeebus.....



Lucky for you, or I'd be going STRAIGHT to the administrators!
turd

climber
  Jan 25, 2013 - 06:55am PT
You forgot the link to the commercial!










P.S. Too funny
Chris McNamara

SuperTopo staff member
  Jan 25, 2013 - 10:17am PT
Holy Taco Time Machine... that was sweet
Dingus Milktoast

Gym climber
Maestro, Ecosystem Ministry, Fatcrackistan
  Jan 25, 2013 - 10:31am PT
I love the Superhero pushup bra!

Great writing ghost :-)

Thanks

DMT
justthemaid

climber
Jim Henson's Basement
  Jan 25, 2013 - 10:37am PT
Destined to be a Taco classic !!!

#4 Friend.. not so friendly

That TR rocked. Best thing I've read in years. It's so good we can almost forgive the whole Canadian- thing ;)

Jon Beck

Trad climber
Oceanside
  Jan 25, 2013 - 10:41am PT
A little climbing, a little drinking, and some boobs

perfect trip report! That was a fun read TFPU
this just in

climber
north fork
  Jan 25, 2013 - 10:54am PT
After pushing our bodies to the limit for almost five minutes, some in the crew were starting to fade, so we gave them a break.

Great line. Even better read, thanks ghost.
Bruce Kay

Gym climber
BC
  Jan 25, 2013 - 11:02am PT
So that was the birth of the strange relationship of squamish climbers and the film industry?

And it all revolved around the common thread of getting wasted?

And it was all set in motion with a phone call to a kid manning the till at a climbing store?

Yeah that sounds about right.
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
  Jan 25, 2013 - 11:41am PT
"Pride", eh? Did it go before or after the fall?
Too good not to be true.
Dingus Milktoast

Gym climber
Maestro, Ecosystem Ministry, Fatcrackistan
  Jan 25, 2013 - 11:40am PT
So ghost... where's the movie? Got link by any chance?

DMT
MH2

climber
  Jan 25, 2013 - 12:03pm PT
It's so good we can almost forgive the whole Canadian- thing ;)



Wow, you may end up saving Canada twice.



Mungeclimber

Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
  Jan 25, 2013 - 01:14pm PT
BAZINGA!
Wayno

Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
  Jan 25, 2013 - 01:16pm PT
Just what the doctor ordered. A classic is born.
Fossil climber

Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
  Jan 25, 2013 - 01:49pm PT
Great stuff!! Do it again some time.
JEleazarian

Trad climber
Fresno CA
  Jan 25, 2013 - 02:06pm PT
Perhaps we need a McNamara Prize for best post. This would certainly be a nominee.

Thanks for the perfect antidote to the dismal, drizzly weather here.

John
SCseagoat

Trad climber
Santa Cruz
  Jan 25, 2013 - 02:07pm PT
How does one even begin to comment on that....un ffffffing believable! Really needed!

Susan
Fletcher

Gym climber
A very quiet place
  Jan 25, 2013 - 02:32pm PT
Oh gawd, this is so powerful and moving (forget the movie), I'm up and joining Canada right now! Where do I sign up?

Well done! Made my morning.

Eric
Captain...or Skully

climber
in the oil patch...Fricken Bakken, that's where
  Jan 25, 2013 - 03:11pm PT
Vivid. ;-)
TFPU, fer sure.
Big Mike

Trad climber
BC
  Jan 25, 2013 - 04:16pm PT
I've been trying to find this commercial but to no avail. Awesome story Dave. Even better with a full telling. Thanks!
Ezra Ellis

Trad climber
North wet, and Da souf
  Jan 25, 2013 - 04:29pm PT
A classic fo. Sho, thanks!!!!
nutjob

Sport climber
Almost to Hollywood, Baby!
  Jan 25, 2013 - 05:08pm PT
Outstanding contribution, and selfless service!

I came close to losing interest with "You could say it really started in 1759 on the Plains of Abraham" but I'm glad I pushed through for a thoroughly rewarding denouement.


Oh sh!t, the French threat is still out there.
John M

climber
  Jan 25, 2013 - 05:08pm PT
Dayamn I always suspected the Tamster was a superhero. Thanks for verifying.

Awesomely funny writing.

If you're going to fight monsters, you might as well get wasted.

No wonder the monsters kept kicking my ass. I was getting wasted after the fight. Note to self, get wasted first.

Any other superhero tips? Us mere mortals need all the help we can get.
kaholatingtong

Trad climber
Nevada City
  Jan 25, 2013 - 05:10pm PT
quality, thanks much
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
  Jan 25, 2013 - 05:13pm PT
Yous guys ain't gonna find it cause I've 100 Loonies that says its too
Un-PC to exist in today's Canuckistan.
Ron Anderson

Trad climber
Relic MilkEye and grandpoobah of HBRKRNH
  Jan 25, 2013 - 05:17pm PT
Very cool!!!!
Tricouni

Mountain climber
Vancouver
  Jan 25, 2013 - 05:23pm PT
Nicely written and very funny; thanks for posting!
phylp

Trad climber
Millbrae, CA
  Jan 25, 2013 - 06:02pm PT
WOW! So good... Thanks a bunch.
Big Mike

Trad climber
BC
  Jan 25, 2013 - 06:20pm PT
Hahahaha..just found Tami's version. ;) Dave stop playing in your backyard and go find that video!! I guess you never came across it when you moved?

Tami's version
http://www.supertopo.com/climbers-forum/1018894/We-had-to-climb-it-in-order-to-save-our-country
mooser

Trad climber
seattle
  Jan 25, 2013 - 07:21pm PT
David, that was awesome! What may be even more awesome is surviving that many falls in a Whillans, but that's been the subject of other threads.

Thanks for this contribution!
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Author's Reply  Jan 25, 2013 - 10:21pm PT
I've been trying to find this commercial but to no avail.

It's probably locked up in a political party's vault somewhere. Can't remember which political party was in power then, but it was definitely a government-sponsored deal, not something done by CBC or CTV or by a commercial entity.

I made it part of my agreement with the film company that I'd get a copy of the finished product, and they honored that agreement. Gave me an 8mm film copy of the finished film. I've actually watched (on somebody's 8mm rig) and never thrown it away, but right now I have no idea where it is. I assume it's in the basement somewhere, but if you'd seen our basement you'd understand how little that means.

One day I'll find it and have it digitized, but you shouldn't hold your breath waiting for the YouTube version to appear anytime soon.
MH2

climber
  Jan 25, 2013 - 10:26pm PT
The movie seems unlikely to do justice to the book.



If "One person can't do it alone," why did they let Peter Croft get involved?
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Author's Reply  Jan 25, 2013 - 11:20pm PT
If "One person can't do it alone," why did they let Peter Croft get involved?

I don't know. Maybe because he had really amazing boobs?
Yeah, dream on, ladies.
Yeah, dream on, ladies.
Credit: Ghost
MH2

climber
  Jan 26, 2013 - 12:41am PT
Anatomy is destiny.






That was fine storytelling, David!
Dingus Milktoast

Gym climber
Maestro, Ecosystem Ministry, Fatcrackistan
  Jan 26, 2013 - 08:09am PT
ghost! Get your ass down in that basement and find that reel! Quit f*#king around out in that useless garden you're preparing and do something useful (for us!)... :-)

Um, I mean, like, something useful for us... AGAIN!

DMT
justthemaid

climber
Jim Henson's Basement
  Jan 26, 2013 - 10:33am PT
Don't make us come up there and search your house.. ;(

This is valuable historic footage dag-nabbit!!! Get down there and save it before it grows moss or get's eaten by a house-moose or something.
Bruce Kay

Gym climber
BC
  Jan 26, 2013 - 09:29am PT
I think Justthemaid just threatened to come up and clean your house. I'd take him up on it
justthemaid

climber
Jim Henson's Basement
  Jan 26, 2013 - 11:32am PT
I think Justthemaid just threatened to come up and clean your house.


I'm picturing a case of maple syrup precariously teetering over the box holding the valuable film footage... The clock is ticking people... its only a matter of time before a marmot or beaver knocks that case over.

Ghost.. your cluttered basement is no match for me. Tell you what.. for that case of syrup, a novelty Mountie hat to attach DaBrim to and a promise to protect me from the gang of French Canadians that have sworn to kill me if I cross the border... I will come clean your basement.

justthemaid

climber
Jim Henson's Basement
  Jan 26, 2013 - 12:06pm PT
I'm amending my list of demands. Crossing the red-maple line is no small matter. If I'm risking life and limb to come up there to wrestle a reel of film away from beavers (or whatever other furry/bitey things are lurking down there).. I'm gonna need a date with Anders at a three-star restaurant thrown into the deal.
Big Mike

Trad climber
BC
  Jan 26, 2013 - 12:51pm PT
Justthemaid ghost is in Wa, no need to cross the border ;)

DMT is funny. Ghost knows I was just kidding around, although I would like to see tha footy. ;)
Bruce Kay

Gym climber
BC
  Jan 26, 2013 - 12:55pm PT
I'm gonna need a date with Anders at a three-star restaurant thrown into the deal.

Careful what you ask for. As a matter of fact Anders has a well known predilection for men in french maid outfits
justthemaid

climber
Jim Henson's Basement
  Jan 26, 2013 - 08:58pm PT
Sorry- Thought Ghost had moved back over the border for some reason. I know he's WA climbing clan (like my other half). Got his current location corn-fused for some reason. I really need to stop huffing glass flux.

OK.. Anders is out, but there's still probably marmots involved and a visit to that sopping wet excuse of a state, so he's going to have to take a drive over the border to pony up that syrup and hat.

@ Bruce... er... I'm a chick BTW :)

@Anders.. is there something you need to tell me?

Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Author's Reply  Jan 26, 2013 - 03:25pm PT
If I'm risking life and limb to come up there to wrestle a reel of film away from beavers (or whatever other furry/bitey things are lurking down there).. I'm gonna need a date with Anders at a three-star restaurant thrown into the deal.

Skip writes about beaver wrestling with Anders, and you guys think my sh#t is funny?

About the film: Somewhere in my possession there should be a small brown envelope with a small reel of 8mm film in it. We're talking about just 30 seconds here, not the full "Making Of" or outtakes. Just the commercial as it finally aired.

If I ever find it, I'll try to get it digitized. And if it's digitized, I'll be happy to share it.

That was a fun gig. But more than fun, it was also educational. It's easy to be a young dirtbag climber, all wrapped up in how special you are compared to all those clods out in the world who are so boring. But meeting, and working with the people on that film crew was eye-opening. They bust their asses doing something that is not easy, and they were good at it. They moved in a different world than we did, but there was an intersection of attitude.
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
  Jan 26, 2013 - 03:32pm PT
In about '76 I got dragged into (ok-not fully kicking and screaming)
a Wausau Insurance (the old sponsors of 60 Minutes) shoot. Now we
weren't out to save the nation. No sir, just pure avarice, thank you.

These were reel Hollywood types. Who else would show up on Mt Baker with
nary a sweater? Seriously, the dood on the left is wearing my anorak and wooly
hat (which I still have - ha!)
Credit: Reilly

Since it was Hollywood there was no damn hiking or nonsense. In
fact, lunch was delivered hot by air! (couldn't put my hands on that pic)

Of course, with the crack team assembled we didn't have to resort to
fake rocks in the carpark. We kept it totally believable.
"C'mon, Mike, don't look like a flippin' salmon being reeled in!"
"C'mon, Mike, don't look like a flippin' salmon being reeled in!"
Credit: Reilly

I did say we were the consummate professionals, didn't I?
Credit: Reilly


Michelle

Social climber
1187 Hunterwasser
  Jan 26, 2013 - 04:07pm PT
Omg, that was funny as hell!
melski

Trad climber
bytheriver
  Jan 26, 2013 - 04:49pm PT
Brilliant casting,,no retiring now,,,perspectives are so critical,,Sara and not so distant realitves,,Dick and the talking chimp,,gives one pause for thought,,Bravo,,
Bruce Kay

Gym climber
BC
  Jan 26, 2013 - 05:51pm PT
@ Bruce... er... I'm a chick BTW :)



Oh!

Well..... what about me? I LOVE women in french maid outfits!

and.............


































I'm a cheap date!
eeyonkee

Trad climber
Golden, CO
  Jan 26, 2013 - 08:53pm PT
Finally read the whole thing. Thanks for a great TR. I love Canadians, particularly the funny ones.
MisterE

Gym climber
Bishop, CA
  Jan 26, 2013 - 09:00pm PT
Great story and writing, Ghost! I'm confused, just got home from work. Don't really know what is going on with the border issue, but I was wasted a lot too back then - and the border was REALLY close for those of us at WWU in Bellingham.


Thanks for saving the...err...dunuts?

:>)
Jim Brennan

Trad climber
Canada
  Jan 26, 2013 - 09:08pm PT
The Liberal party under the leadership of Pierre Trudeau held the day and loosely the purse strings then. (video hint)

What happy times to be a climber and after only a few months of work, "enabled" to join the UIC climbing team.

A full year of free money ? Talk about government working for the people ! That's how 5.12 was achieved in Canada in the 70's - 80's.

Oh well, all AWESOME NONSENSE must come to an end it's said...
Tami

Social climber
Canada
  Jan 26, 2013 - 09:49pm PT
As a matter of fact Anders has a well known predilection for men in french maid outfits


GUFFAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scrubber

climber
Straight outta Squampton
  Jan 27, 2013 - 04:51pm PT
Nice writing Ghost. Thanks for lightening this dreary weekend.

K
Fritz

Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
  Jan 27, 2013 - 10:34pm PT
Ghost! Thank you for taking the time to put together this great bit of fun!

I started into it a couple days back and was rushing through the read.

I am so glad, I stopped rushing, and got back to your wonderful story today in "leisure-mode." I even enlarged the Tami-super-hero-babe photos and rated them each 5-stars!
crunch

Social climber
CO
  Jan 27, 2013 - 10:01pm PT
Fabulous. In every sense of the word. And maybe a few other senses not yet discovered.

Now I know a bit more about what the hell you guys do with yourselves through those dark, cold winters up north.

Thanks!

thekidcormier

Gym climber
squamish, b.c.
  Jan 28, 2013 - 10:09am PT
That was the best. The best ever.

Thank you.
crunch

Social climber
CO
  Jan 29, 2013 - 04:53pm PT
A stuporhero bump. oh wait....
donini

Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
  Jan 29, 2013 - 05:14pm PT
WOW!!!.......was that funny! The Tim Horton donuts are pure Canadian but that weather had a very Cali look to it......and now for the rest of the story.
Thanks mucho....made my day.
tim_b

Trad climber
Long Beach, CA
  Feb 11, 2013 - 07:45pm PT

Ya know, I'm not even embarrassed that I read the ENTIRE THING !
And laughed alone in my little cubicle at work ...

Great job, great storytelling ... (but more pics of Tami please !)
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Author's Reply  Feb 12, 2013 - 01:08am PT
Great job, great storytelling ... (but more pics of Tami please !)

I'd like to post some of those pictures, but she's paid me a considerable amount not to. Now, should you want to up the ante, I'd be willing to listen.
survival

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
  Feb 12, 2013 - 11:46am PT
Bump for Ghost's writing!!
graniteclimber

Trad climber
The Illuminati -- S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Division
  Feb 12, 2013 - 11:58am PT
Do you have the pictures that were taken from the helicopter?
moosedrool

climber
lost, far away from Poland
  Feb 13, 2013 - 01:50am PT
Super! Awesome! Hilarious!

BEST TR EVER!!!

Thank you!!!
m_jones

Trad climber
Carson City, NV
  Feb 14, 2013 - 01:36am PT
That was hilarious!!

I raced on a Vancouver based mountain bike team in the early 90s. Every year in late June we raced in a World Cup in Quebec (Mont Sainte Anne). So we would go to Canada Day in Quebec City when we were there.

My team mate would dawn a t shirt that said "Viva Canada" and a maple leaf on the front. And on the back was "Sans Quebec"

We made him walk a head of us a bit.

Made for a fun night!!
Lasti

Trad climber
Budapest
  Feb 14, 2013 - 08:01am PT
PURE GOLD!

Lasti
drljefe

climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
  Feb 14, 2013 - 08:37am PT
Classic!
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Author's Reply  Feb 14, 2013 - 11:39pm PT
I raced on a Vancouver based mountain bike team in the early 90s. Every year in late June we raced in a World Cup in Quebec (Mont Sainte Anne). So we would go to Canada Day in Quebec City when we were there.

My team mate would dawn a t shirt that said "Viva Canada" and a maple leaf on the front. And on the back was "Sans Quebec" We made him walk a head of us a bit. Made for a fun night!!

Not to turn this toward politics, but your comment reminds me of the aftermath of the episode...

After all the commercials aired, and all the politicians spewed their spew, and all the pundits chimed in, there was a nation-wide referendum. I don't remember the exact wording, but the basic premise was "Do you support certain special rights for Quebec, beyond those available to other provinces in Canada."

When the vote was tallied, the results were surprisingly uniform. Both English- and French-speaking Canadians rejected the referendum by about 75% against to 25% for. This was widely trumpeted by the government as showing overwhelming sentiment -- even among Quebecers -- against giving any special status to that province.

But then, when the exit polls were analyzed, it turned out that while 75% of the rest of Canada had voted against it because it gave too much to Quebec, 75% of Quebecers voted against it because it did not give enough to Quebec!

Thank god Tami and I were ready to stand up and be counted. Otherwise, all you Americans would have to buy phrase books if you wanted to take a trip to Squamish or Canmore.
BooYah

Social climber
Ely, Nv
  Feb 17, 2013 - 12:26am PT
I like your Style, Guy. Or rather, Ghost(guy).
Better than MOST TR's, though you obviously write Professionally.
I still like your style, though. You're Cowboy material.
Yeehaw. Or rather, "Booyah!".
Tami

Social climber
Canada
  Feb 17, 2013 - 01:12am PT
all you Americans would have to buy phrase books if you wanted to take a trip to Squamish or Canmore.


My hovercraft is full of eels.
Steve Grossman

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
  Feb 17, 2013 - 03:22pm PT
Ghost- I finally sat down and read your fine superhero exposé!

I may stop laughing one of these days.

I am glad that a lethal dose of homegrown frontier spirit managed to quell the Québécois quorum quandry! LOL

Stoned Professional! Eh,what?!? NEVER kill the joint or the StuporHeroes lose their StuporPowers.

Congratulations on your rendering of the turn of the tide of Canadian history! Well done and rare all in one sitting.

We simply must unearth the footage (preferably all of it) for posterity or at least posteriority. Seriously!

Time to raid the contents of the secret decoder ring and take a puff...for Canada!
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Author's Reply  Feb 20, 2013 - 12:07am PT
Thanks to all of you for your kind words. I really had no idea how this story would be received, but it looks like it wasn't a big mistake to post. Tami and I, and Ryan, John, Peter, and Peder had a lot of fun on that gig. And as I mentioned above, working with the film crew was a real eye-opener. They were a long way from the dirtbag scene we knew, but they were amazing people. They worked 18- and 20-hour days, and risked their professional careers on every job. I probably wouldn't have put it this way back then, but they definitely weren't sport film-makers.

Since this seems to have been well received, I went back through the photos I could lay my hands on, and dug out a few that didn't go into the TR.

Start with a couple of people shots:

Here's Ryan. Best climbing partner in the universe.
Another adventure with Ryan -- Baffin Island 1981
Another adventure with Ryan -- Baffin Island 1981
Credit: Ghost

And Peter
Is that stuff in the bottle the magic potion that made him a SuperClim...
Is that stuff in the bottle the magic potion that made him a SuperClimber?
Credit: Ghost

The bivi. Check the creek about 5,000 feet below...
No, he wasn't an El Cap climber. And no, you Californians couldn't hav...
No, he wasn't an El Cap climber. And no, you Californians couldn't have kept up to him in the mountains.
Credit: Ghost

Tami and Peter tying to decide whether it's worth waking up.
"Is it time to get up dear?"  "No, I think, I'll sleep in a bit longer...
"Is it time to get up dear?" "No, I think, I'll sleep in a bit longer."
Credit: Ghost

The Director checks out the framing of the key shot.
Consider that this provided a more "realistic" fall into 3,500 feet of...
Consider that this provided a more "realistic" fall into 3,500 feet of space than an actual fall into 3,500 feet of space.
Credit: Ghost

Tami and Ryan (back left) and Peter (back center) heave on the ropes tied to my ass, thereby sending me plummeting into the void.
Good thing I'm not afraid of heights.
Good thing I'm not afraid of heights.
Credit: Ghost

Once again, thanks to all of you for your kind words, and thanks to John, Peder, Peter, Ryan, and Tami for joining me in saving our country. Or at least for having a few days of big fun.
harryhotdog

Social climber
north vancouver, B.C.
  Feb 20, 2013 - 02:36am PT
How did I miss this, what an AWESOME story with AMAZING pictures. Your ready to write for SNL or should I say SCTV. The only thing I'm wondering is how did Tami take when at the beginning you include her in your geriatric club, she's my age for christs sake! Does that mean I'm old too? Three cheers for the ghost!!!!!
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Author's Reply  Feb 20, 2013 - 01:37pm PT
how did Tami take when at the beginning you include her in your geriatric club, she's my age for christs sake! Does that mean I'm old too?

How did Tami react? She shook her cane at me. And yeah, you're old, too.

But that's the beauty of Supertopo. Old people like you can show up and appear young in comparison to most of us who hang out here.
RyanD

climber
Squamish
  Jun 5, 2013 - 05:07pm PT
Bump!
Knave

Trad climber
  Jun 6, 2013 - 02:22pm PT
Reading this made me laugh out loud. Thanks for my best lurk session to date.
peter croft

climber
  Jun 7, 2013 - 07:10am PT
Fabulous story, Dave - and mostly true.
In defense of Peder and myself, though, we weren't lounging on the summit in plain view when the director erupted. We had hidden away in a chimney in the summit block. Those days, though, weed was weaker than diet cigarettes and it was necessary to roll fatties the size of carrots - and we each had one. Obviously the smoke was significant. That was when the director yelled over the megaphone that the mountain looked like a F-ing volcano and could we please douse the F-ing joints. He used the F word a lot.
As far as your plummet off Nightmare Rock remember it was at that confusing time when Canada was switching over to the metric system. So when the director asked for a thirty footer I figured "No way!, we'll rig it for thirty meters" I still wasn't clear on what a meter was but I was pretty sure it was longer than a foot. You took the leap and I had a flicker of panic that we might have goofed on the length. All was good though - you missed the ground by at least a meter. Lucky us and luckier you. Anyway, belated apologies for a bad joke at your expense.
Norwegian

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
  Jun 7, 2013 - 07:23am PT
tami is hot.
johntp

Trad climber
socal
  Jun 7, 2013 - 08:28am PT
umm, err, my eyes glazed over after the first few paragraphs. guess you had to be there to understand.

nice pics though.

edit: maybe I need to wait until I've had a cup of caffeine.
Bruce Kay

Gym climber
BC
  Jun 7, 2013 - 10:33am PT
Is that stuff in the bottle the magic potion that made him a SuperClimber?


Is that the secret?????

You mean all this time I should have been drinking my own piss?
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Author's Reply  Jun 22, 2013 - 08:16pm PT
Fabulous story, Dave - and mostly true.

Thanks Peter. It was a fun few days, and as to the truth, well, if you had written it it would have been different, but probably equally true. Or equally not true.

As to the fall

Anyway, belated apologies for a bad joke at your expense. /quote]

No need for apologies. Not to me anyway, because if it had been me up there measuring out the rope I'd have done exactly the same thing. Maybe you guys owe the poor cameraman an apology though.
MisterE

Gym climber
Bishop, CA
  Jun 23, 2013 - 01:13am PT
As far as your plummet off Nightmare Rock remember it was at that confusing time when Canada was switching over to the metric system. So when the director asked for a thirty footer I figured "No way!, we'll rig it for thirty meters" I still wasn't clear on what a meter was but I was pretty sure it was longer than a foot. You took the leap and I had a flicker of panic that we might have goofed on the length. All was good though - you missed the ground by at least a meter. Lucky us and luckier you.

Too funny - this TR just keeps getting better...
gf

climber
  Jun 23, 2013 - 07:00am PT
Wow.
So glad this resurfaced as I missed it the first time round.
Nice one David and great comments from those "on the case". Since tonight is the supermoon it seemed appropriate to post up the track that our friends reported they listened to on the summit of rexford as the moon popped up.

Ron Anderson

Trad climber
Relic MilkEye and grandpoobah of HBRKRNH
  Jun 28, 2013 - 08:41pm PT
Bee, Bee ESS , TEE.,and http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.php?topic_id=1018894&tn=20
L

climber
California dreamin' on the farside of the world..
  Oct 10, 2013 - 10:14am PT
THANK YOU SUPERHERO GHOST...er...MILD-MANNERED WRITER DAVE!!!!

You're outta the closet now as a hard-climbin' English-sputterin' BITD Superhero, not to mention brilliantly funny ST writer with great photos!

This truly is a masterpiece. You not only got Chris Mac's thumbs up, but you got the elusive Peter Croft to post up...a farggin' miracle!

I loved every second of this ride, and having done loads of filmwork in BC, Alberta, The Yukon and AK during the winter months, in choppers, I commiserate with the need for alcohol-induced forgetfulness of the details. ;-)

Like everyone else here, I eagerly await your next narrative...and would love to see that 8mm footage someday...;-)

Thank you again.
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Author's Reply  Oct 10, 2013 - 10:47am PT
It's all your fault Ms. L. It was your post of "Edzilla Queen of the High Desert" that got me started thinking about writing this one up.

I'm glad you're back here and I hope you've got a few more stories.
L

climber
California dreamin' on the farside of the world..
  Oct 10, 2013 - 10:57am PT
LOL! No comparison, Ghost.

Your tale is historical fact; mine a work of pure fiction.

You have incredible photos from BITD; I resorted to mostly Internet swiping.

You have that photo of Peter Croft's abs........

'Nuf said. ;-)
Darwin

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
  Oct 10, 2013 - 11:28pm PT


Thanks Ghost! LOL. I envy the humor in your writing, although some credit has to go to your crew. Nice photos,

So, I'm sure "just remember that director’s wife" came to nothing.

Darwin
survival

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
  Nov 11, 2013 - 11:31pm PT
A little help for eKat, and a better world...
Fritz

Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
  Nov 11, 2013 - 11:39pm PT
I'm always happy to re-read this chunk of climbing fun!
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Author's Reply  Nov 12, 2013 - 11:21pm PT
A little help for eKat, and a better world...

I'm always happy to re-read this chunk of climbing fun!

Ha ha. You morons resurrected this silliness, so it's your fault if I put up a couple more pictures...

The landscape high on Mt. Rexford
The landscape high on Mt. Rexford
Credit: Ghost

The landscape around Mt. Rexford
The landscape around Mt. Rexford
Credit: Ghost

The summit blocks
The summit blocks
Credit: Ghost

Terrified climbers, confronting "The Void"
Terrified climbers, confronting "The Void"
Credit: Ghost
MH2

climber
  Nov 12, 2013 - 11:47pm PT
I am glad I read the TR. Those pictures would be a puzzle otherwise. Saving Canada was tangled as a spy novel.
MisterE

Gym climber
Bishop, CA
  Nov 12, 2013 - 11:54pm PT
This is all very interesting, but I just noticed my wife lost it last January.

*Note to self*
Steve Grossman

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
  Jun 15, 2014 - 02:19pm PT
Patriotic Bumpage...
Big Mike

Trad climber
BC
  Jun 15, 2014 - 02:39pm PT
That was when the director yelled over the megaphone that the mountain looked like a F-ing volcano and could we please douse the F-ing joints. He used the F word a lot.

I still crack up every time i read this line!!
mike m

Trad climber
black hills
  Jun 15, 2014 - 08:47pm PT
Hadn't seen this. Made my night.
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Author's Reply  Jun 16, 2014 - 09:03pm PT
Grossman, you're an idiot for bumping this thing. But thanks anyway -- seeing it again took me back to those days we spent saving the country.
murcy

Gym climber
sanfrancisco
  Jun 16, 2014 - 09:22pm PT
Missed this first time around. I am outraged and aghast. Thank you.
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