I've been waffling back and forth about writing this, as I'm not sure if I can do justice to what I witnessed.
But I have decided that sharing my experience with others might help consolidate my own thoughts and feelings, and if I can inspire even one person to smile, or give a loved one a hug, then writing this will be worth it.

Let's start almost a year ago at a good friends birthday party, at a karaoke dive bar...
I had just climbed the North West Face of Half Dome a few weeks earlier, and I was glowing with success and energy. The messy divorce I was entangled in, the dead end job I was stuck in, none of that was phasing me. Climbing the face of Half Dome in a push filled me with so much joy and enthusiasm for life, and everyone I met could feel it.

A girl from high school happened to also be at the party, someone I hadn't seen in over a decade. She too was glowing with energy, and the giant smile she wore was infectious. We began talking and she told me she had just returned from her first time at Burning Man, and as she talked about her experience camping in the dust at some temporary city in Northern Nevada, i recognized that she had also been filled with joy and enthusiasm for life and I could feel it.

We talked all night about our recent experiences, and even though I didn't understand why camping in the dust was so great, and she couldn't understand why spending 21 hours on a cliff was "fun", we both knew our lives had been changed.

Over the next few months we went on a few dates, realized we had lots in common, dated some more, and fell in love. In December, atop the 3 sisters formation at The Pinnacles National Monument, I asked her to be my girlfriend, and she said yes!

Earlier this year she bought a ticket to Burning Man 2012, but as I had recently been laid off and couldn't afford it, I did not. I wanted to go, but felt that the cost could not be justified at this point in my life. She said if I wasn't going, she would just sell her ticket because she didn't want to go without me. Come August, amidst a flood of depression and debt, I said F*#k it, and got a ticket off of craigslist. I had no idea how much work was involved, I figured it was like going camping in the mountains, an activity we had done together many times, I was so wrong!

The first challenge was living quarters, a nylon tent just doesn't cut it in 100 degree heat and whiteout dust storms. We found a Starcraft pop up trailer for 300 bucks and we got to work repairing the canvas, cleaning the inside and repairing the bearings. Meanwhile, we searched for a tandem bike to provide us transportation around the enormous Black Rock City. We bought a $60 dollar tandem off craigslist only to learn it was near impossible to find the parts to fix it in our short amount of time. Serendipitously, Alex at Faber's Bike shop in San Jose (a 100 year old establishment!) saw our bike and told us to bring it back the next day with some beers. Skeptically, we came back, to find a gorgeous classic tandem bike that Alex had bought with us in mind. We traded our bike plus a hundred bucks and spent 4 hours with Alex bringing the bike up to good riding form. Our trip, which had seemed impossible before, was beginning to become a reality, our living and transportation were handled!

With butterflies in my stomach, we packed up all that we thought we would need. It reminded me of packing for a Big Wall, with checklists and gear spread out all over the floor. The dry ancient lakebed that Black Rock City is built on is called The Playa. No water, no electricity, no grey water disposal. If we pack it in we were packing it out, another similarity with Big Walling.

It took us over 8 hours on wednesday to arrive at the gates of the city, and another 2 hours to get in. The line of cars and RV's at the gate would normally be a discouraging sight, but all the smiling, excited people wandering around outside their vehicles made it more of a fun, party atmosphere. These people were amped. Some of them had driven for days to be here but no signs of exhaustion or negativity could be seen. I even recognized a familiar face, my skateboarding buddy from San Jose and his girlfriend!
Finally reaching the front of the line after a thorough vehicle search for stowaways, I was asked a question by the greeter, a sagely looking man in his 50s.
"Is this your first time at Burning Man?"
"Yes, it is." I said anxiously.

He embraced me in a warm, loving hug and said, "Welcome Home. Now lets see a dust angel and hear you ring the bell."

I laid down on the soft thick dust and imagined I was in the snow, leaving a nicely formed angel on the ground and becoming covered in the finest white powdery dust I'd ever seen. I swung a metal bar against a thick metal bell, blasting the air around us with a huge "BONG." As i brushed myself off the greeter laughed and said "Don't bother!" We still couldn't see the city, but we were now heading towards it at the wicked fast speed limit of 5 mph.

As we approached the back of Black Rock City, lights could be seen for miles in both directions, and the occasional blast of fire would illuminate the apparent chaos. My first impressions were somewhat horrified, everything was just plastered with dust, my lungs were already feeling overwhelmed and uncomfortable. We were going to be here for 5 days? What the hell had I signed up for?

My girlfriend had set us up with a theme camp that her childhood friend was a part of, so we made the journey around the clock shaped city to our home address of 10 o'clock and C. Feeling full of anxiety about finding a place to park our truck and trailer in this madness, as well as the realization that her friends would be virtually impossible to find, we nonetheless made our way to the NEXUS theme camp that would become our home. Against all odds, we found her friends in less than 5 minutes, and had our pop up set up in less than 20. Just in time for the camp's art car (a 30 ft long Louisiana style Bar on wheels, complete with lasers and a gigantic high end sound system) to sail us away for our first tour of Burning Man 2012. We saw so much that night, and as my faculties became diminished I was led to a place called the Temple. It appeared as if massive amounts of energy were coming out of the earth, through the temple and dispersing throughout the city beyond. Pulsing, powerful energy flowed continuously from this obviously sacred place full of meditators at 4 am. I was speechless as I gazed upon the building constructed entirely of intricate scrollwork in a way that made it appear to never stop moving. Looking at this building, I began to understand. I finally saw what it was that made my lover so excited the year before. This place was magic in the truest way I have ever seen, and it was the source that powered the spiritual side of this extraordinary city. Never before had I, a devout Atheist and believer in science, come face to face with such unmistakable spiritual energy.

We stayed out all night, and despite my growing exhaustion I stayed up and saw the sun rise over the Eastern Mountains, a ritual I would not miss again for the duration of our trip. Ah the sunrises. Indescribable beauty, set to booming house music that never got old.

We crashed out for a while in our little home, until even the thick canvas couldn't keep the heat out. Tired but happy, we got up to explore the city in daylight. We met our campmates at NEXUS, signed up for jobs, and immediately fell in to the swing of things. Introductions always included smiles and hugs and people everywhere were giving away whatever they could. I learned that money had no use here except to buy Ice, and contribution and positive attitudes were the highest goal. I learned that no sponsorship advertisements or promotions were allowed. No logos anywhere. Here were 5o thousand plus people doing all this just to be AWESOME!

A few days later my good friend Jimmy showed up to stay at the sk8 Kamp. Riding bowls and ramps in the desert dust together was unforgettable. Jimmy asked me to come with him to the Temple for support, as he had some heavy burdens to release. We cried together, we gave each other deep meaningful hugs.

The rest of our time was spent dancing, reveling in positive energy and expressing love towards one another the like of which I had never truly experienced before. My girlfriend and I fell deeper in love than I realized humans could. We watched the Man burn, sending tornadoes of smoke across the Playa. We danced during sunrise at Robot Heart, a massive dance party out in the open Playa that was always pumping. We saw the work of Alex Grey the artist at Fractal Nation and rode countless miles together on our beautiful efficient tandem bike. It was nothing less than a trip to Utopia. A glimpse into the heart of what mankind can be when we are free to be ourselves without judgement.

Our time there eventually came to end, as all things seem to do. But now after the long drive home, the cleanup, and all the hard work has come to a close, I now feel just like my love did a year ago when I met her. Glowing with life, optimism and hope for mankind's future.

Thank you, and may you be blessed with peace and love. Hug your loved ones. Hug a stranger. We are all in this together, and Love will heal all. See you next year on the Playa.

Written September 6th, 2012 by Kalen T. Glenn