Trip Report
Black C*#k Down: Conquering Long Dong Silver
Tuesday October 4, 2016 11:21pm
OCT 1 2016
Cole Bradburn, Collin Wogenstahl, and Kory Kowallis.
Post send shenanigans
Post send shenanigans
Credit: TheQueen
Two years ago we went to the amazing Long Dong Silver and ended up running out of day light because of the longer than expected approach. We left expecting to come back the next day, but one thing led to another and we ended up not returning. We kept talking about going back but something about the Mancos Shale and unknown placements always made us think otherwise. But with a biner and fixed static line still on the tower we needed to go back and finish the job.

Last winter we were climbing in the nearby viewfinder towers just north of Hanksville, Utah and met a group of climbers that looked quite shaken. They started to tell us that they too had attempted Long Dong and found the anchor at the base of the climb(it had been rained off). They also had ripped the pitch before reaching the bolt. While they were not hurt because of the extremely steep and soft landing they had opted not to reattempt, but instead climbed Ben's Ass(5.8) to calm some nerves.

The time since our first attempt on Long Dong was spent researching new gear and towers as well as getting some more mileage under our belts in the desert tower arena. We accrued some Spectres, Toucans and Pika Crud Hooks and started to become more confident on differing qualities of mud. But we were still unsure how the Mancos Shale would respond to our otherwise good sandstone gear placements.

One day while at the local climbing shop, Mountainworks, a good friend brought up our previous Long Dong attempt. After some good sh#t talking and other banter we decided to finally plan the return trip.

We loaded up the OE and other necessary gear and buzzed down to camp for the night near Hanksville. We woke up and grabbed copious amount of coffee and breakfast at Blondie's and drove out. We aced the approach and began climbing instantly. The tower was skinnier and muddier than I had remembered. But we were more psyched than ever to be climbing on it again. We quickly remembered that the whole tower is kind like an expando flake. Most pieces would become loose as you placed the piece above it. Angles especially made the thing expand. So luckily we had all our smaller pins like I previously mentioned. Peckers, Toucans, and Tomahawks placed horizontally were especially key and terrifying.
Solid Horizontals
Solid Horizontals
Credit: TheQueen
Amazing Tower
Amazing Tower
Credit: TheQueen
Leading in a Hawaiian Shirt.  <br/>
&#40;Cole&#41;
Leading in a Hawaiian Shirt.
(Cole)
Credit: TheQueen
We climbed higher and finally reached the last 6 feet of the tower. The 4 ft wide and 1.5 ft thick summit block. Since hearing of the anchor falling out we wrapped the summit block at its base then climbed past the anchor to straddle the summit. This tower had the smallest, most crumbly and terrifying summit I have ever seen. But to top it all off a big thunderstorm came in bringing lots of rain, which turned everything into thick and nasty mud, as well as lots of lightning which made it exciting and tingly while cleaning the tower.
Credit: TheQueen
Cleaning in the rain
Cleaning in the rain
Credit: TheQueen
But we had done it! We conquered Long Dong Silver. We Had an awesome day of climbing. I'd give it three stars for being the craziest piece of choss I have ever climbed! Crazy gear and crazy mud. Also: as you hammer on pins the other side of the tower continuously falls off...


The next party to go do this thing should bring more webbing for slinging the top. We put new stuff up there but with the Mancos Shale being black and salty the webbing is sure to go bad quickly.

It was hot before the storm came. Photo of Collin trying to drink all ...
It was hot before the storm came. Photo of Collin trying to drink all the beer.
Credit: TheQueen

Gear:
OE (To channel our inner Eric Kohl. http://www.supertopo.com/climbers-forum/2696472/When-Hell-Was-in-Session ) Umbrella, Toucans, Tomahawks, Peckers, spectre, Pika crud hook and a handful of smaller angles. Maybe a few cams... (We used one down low and one to get onto the top once you pass the anchor) One 70m gets you up and down. Safety Dog.

Our Safety Dog
Our Safety Dog
Credit: TheQueen

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TheQueen
About the Author
TWS

Comments
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healyje

Trad climber
Portland, Oregon
  Oct 4, 2016 - 11:24pm PT
I'm thinking you must be that threesome who just split the Nobel Prize in Physics. Or wait, maybe it was in Medicine as that does look like an autophagic act of some sort.
Clint Cummins

Trad climber
SF Bay area, CA
  Oct 4, 2016 - 11:47pm PT
Chosstastic!!
Thanks for sharing.
Todd Gordon

Trad climber
Joshua Tree, Cal
  Oct 5, 2016 - 12:02am PT
Gnarly climb a, great story and awesome pics. Did this tower with Dave Evans about 20 years ago..scared the crap out of us too! Way to go! Reading your trip report brought back lots of memories...and some fearful memories!

http://www.mountainproject.com/v/long-dong-silver/105965351
survival

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
  Oct 5, 2016 - 12:07am PT
Jeremy would be proud!
PotatoHead

Trad climber
Nunya,ID
  Oct 5, 2016 - 12:10am PT
Nice werk boys! That looks mighty frightening
perswig

climber
  Oct 5, 2016 - 02:16am PT
Jeremy would be proud!
Route named Long Dong Silver, Jeremy's MOM would be proud.

That looks nuts! Shudder.
Dale
Gnome Ofthe Diabase

climber
Out Of Bed
  Oct 5, 2016 - 02:50am PT
Got to get your heads checked !
It might have fallen over!
Did you check that things vibration 1st
A strong Verbrato, and some sonic resenance could bring that thing down, and you hammered up it?
Proud! Crazy but it is climbing after all
Way to get it done!
eKat

climber
  Oct 5, 2016 - 03:37am PT
Jeremy would be proud!

Route named Long Dong Silver, Jeremy's MOM would be proud.

BEST POST, EVAH!

:-)

Good job all the way around.

TFPU!

WBraun

climber
  Oct 5, 2016 - 07:29am PT
Only real men climb on stoopid insane sh!t like this.

Awesome looking pile !!!!!!
Dingus Milktoast

Trad climber
Minister of Moderation, Fatcrackistan
  Oct 5, 2016 - 07:46am PT
That's bad ass!

Thanks!
DMT
thebravecowboy

climber
The Good Places
  Oct 5, 2016 - 08:29am PT
nailing calcite seams because they're harder....


nice entrada tower you did out there too!
Fritz

Social climber
Choss Creek, ID
  Oct 5, 2016 - 08:54am PT
WOW,OH WOW!

Dooodes!

Thanks for sharing your inspiring insanity
skcreidc

Social climber
SD, CA
  Oct 5, 2016 - 08:57am PT
Good gawd. Good work! I am not worthy. The screamer was a nice touch...
Woody the Beaver

Trad climber
Soldier, Idaho
  Oct 5, 2016 - 09:01am PT
The pull of the Dong is strong! A mighty feat, lads!
Vitaliy M.

Mountain climber
San Francisco
  Oct 5, 2016 - 10:35am PT
You three look strong enough to take one, nice report!
i-b-goB

Social climber
Nutty
  Oct 5, 2016 - 01:14pm PT
CRIMINY!
Ezra Ellis

Trad climber
North wet, and Da souf
  Oct 5, 2016 - 04:17pm PT
Yalls is crazy 👍
moosedrool

climber
Andrzej Citkowicz far away from Poland
  Oct 5, 2016 - 04:29pm PT
"Climb you fukers, or I will shoot you!"

Credit: TheQueen

Hehehe

Great job!

Moose
bluering

Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
  Oct 5, 2016 - 07:16pm PT
That first piece of pro is bomber! (Not the AK, the 2 pins and the screamer).

Looks like adventure climbing to me, and that is always fun. Especially when you don't die.

Good shit!
WyoRockMan

climber
Grizzlyville, WY
  Oct 5, 2016 - 07:18pm PT
Paint chips. Not really for snacks.


Chosstastic!
Mungeclimber

Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
  Oct 5, 2016 - 08:20pm PT
WELL DONE MEN!!!

Love this sh#t--> "as you hammer on pins the other side of the tower continuously falls off..."

gangster!
micronut

Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
  Oct 5, 2016 - 09:15pm PT
Ripped anchors, lightning, AKs and Peckers. The four essentials. Stellar send you idiots. Fantastic report. The choss is strong with this one. Keep em coming!

Scott.
Sierra Ledge Rat

Mountain climber
Old and Broken Down in Appalachia
  Oct 6, 2016 - 05:56am PT
So.....
You guys are fixated on big black schlongs?
(:


mcreel

climber
Barcelona
  Oct 6, 2016 - 09:03am PT
It looks like that route gets harder and harder as you climb, unless the whole thing suddenly collapses without warning.
guyman

Social climber
Moorpark, CA.
  Oct 6, 2016 - 09:10am PT
wow, just wow....

you boys might like Red Rock Canyon just north of Mojave, lots of vert mud.

thanks for the share
Collin Wogenstahl

climber
Orem, Utah
  Oct 7, 2016 - 04:45pm PT
Thanks for all the comments guys. We found some more big black dongs in the desert that we are going back for. More dick pics soon.
dee ee

Mountain climber
Of THIS World (Planet Earth)
  Oct 7, 2016 - 03:34pm PT
Yep, Ol' Gordo' and I did the second ascent with Margy Floyd (Evans) and Greg Epperson. We walked around the thing like 15 times before we had the slightest idea where to start. We decided to each lead 1/2 and I went first.

Even with extensive sandstone experience we had never seen anything like it, it was more like rotten wood than rock!

It was hard enough to get the placements to hold their own weight let alone my weight as well. It was scary, to say the least. Everything shifted, stuff fell out, the "rock" disintegrated almost faster than progress could be made. Our rack was old school, no fancy modern crap.

After a long while of nerve wracking aid I was about half way up and figured out something I could lower off of. Gordo went next and made his way to the top.

We all took a turn at standing on top and felt lucky and happy to be alive.

The next day I had a job interview in Salt Lake City at BD and was not at my best. I was still in shock from climbing the bastard. I did not ace the interview.

It is a proud summit.

Credit: dee ee

Credit: dee ee
Collin Wogenstahl

climber
Orem, Utah
  Oct 7, 2016 - 04:46pm PT
Thanks for the photos. Those are super cool. How did you guys get down from the summit?
phylp

Trad climber
Upland, CA
  Oct 7, 2016 - 07:52pm PT
It's enjoyable reading about people doing really demented things. Thanks!
BASE104

Social climber
An Oil Field
  Oct 9, 2016 - 03:40pm PT
Shale. Breakfast of Champions.

Pete Takeda and partner did some spires like this. You can see them on N side of I-70, just across the fence as you head west of Glenwood Springs. I have no idea exactly where they are, but I remember seeing them once. I know that on one of them they descended by simul rapping off of both sides of one of the towers.

Apparently it is so bad that even bolts suck. Contact Duane Raleigh at Rock & Ice. He knows where they are. I doubt anyone has bothered to repeat them, but they look cool.
dee ee

Mountain climber
Of THIS World (Planet Earth)
  Oct 9, 2016 - 06:30pm PT
You can't place a bolt in this sh#t. Unless it's like 12" long.
Sierra Ledge Rat

Mountain climber
Old and Broken Down in Appalachia
  Oct 10, 2016 - 09:02am PT
It's a sickness
thebravecowboy

climber
The Good Places
  Oct 10, 2016 - 09:22am PT


https://www.mountainproject.com/v/things-of-beauty-aka-interstate-i-70-towers/106084987
Gnome Ofthe Diabase

climber
Out Of Bed
  Oct 10, 2016 - 11:42am PT
B
U
M
P

T
O

D
U
M
P

T
H
E

T
R
U
M
P

T
H
R
E
A
D
Aeriq

Sport climber
100-year Visitor
  Dec 3, 2018 - 09:32pm PT
Sick summit bump.

Miss the irreverence in this PC time.
grover

climber
Castlegar BC
  Dec 3, 2018 - 10:08pm PT
Nice bump Mr.E


Well done lads, proud chend!
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