Trip Report
576 Mile Loop Around the Sierra Looking for Blue Skies: 12.1 MPG
Sunday June 14, 2015 11:38am
I have a new truck. I love my new truck. But it gets 12.3MPG if I keep the wind at my back. This is a man's truck. Perfect for a road trip in every way. No VW hippie van for me. No sissy Subaru here. MPG? LOL.
top left corner top right corner
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner

This trip had been on the books for months with a goal of Macronut and I slaying the North Ridge of Lone Pine Peak. But he sadly exploded his ACL riding a dirtbike shortly prior. My back-up parner and I left Fresno thursday night with a 2.5 day window to find something high and wild and alpine. LPP was a bit more than I wanted to chew with a young new buck so we hoped to head in and bag Mt Russell's East Ridge.

Slept in the dirt on Movie Road and woke to nasty, black, rainy skies in The Whitney zone.
top left corner top right corner
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner

Called Macronut at 6:00 am back in Fresno and asked him for weather beta. (he was sidelined for this trip only a week or two out of surgery so we used him as our base camp weather operator. Just hours after finding out about his mutilated ACL, I was perusing the local climbing gym for young rope guns and came across this kid......a V8 boulderer who had never tasted alpine action but who was looking to learn from a master.)

top left corner top right corner
At least he brought a jacket.  Who cares if he doesn't even know how t...
At least he brought a jacket. Who cares if he doesn't even know how to wear it. Kids these days.
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner

Macronut told us that the NOAA website was ushering a lightning warning for all high country activity so we headed north faster than you can say "Sport Climbing is Neither."

top left corner top right corner
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner

We pulled into Mammoth, hit the Looney Bean for a cup of joe and pulled out the guidebook.
The North Ridge of Crystal Crag looked like it would be a perfect intro to the mountains for this kid. Minimal approach, some nice loose rock and a pretty ridge leading to a tiny summit.
top left corner top right corner
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner

Some quick pack and rack and we were on like Donkey Kong.

Look at that junk show on his back. It's his first time packing an alpine pack. Give him a break.
top left corner top right corner
I hung well back on the trail and pretended not to know who he was whe...
I hung well back on the trail and pretended not to know who he was when people came by.
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner

Big thunderheads tried to scare us off but we would have none of it.
top left corner top right corner
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner

I gave him a quick crash course on chest compressions in the event of lightning and we were at the base in no time.
top left corner top right corner
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner

top left corner top right corner
I think he actually threw a heel hook in the 5.7 chimney at some point...
I think he actually threw a heel hook in the 5.7 chimney at some point.
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner

He climbed like a champ, built solid belays like an old guy and moved quickly at the transitions. I was really proud of him.
top left corner top right corner
Trading a knit beanie and a crash pad for Alpine runners and a wind sh...
Trading a knit beanie and a crash pad for Alpine runners and a wind shell. And loving it.
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner
top left corner top right corner
The Bold
The Bold
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner
top left corner top right corner
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner
top left corner top right corner
The Beautiful.
The Beautiful.
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner
Stellar but loose climbing up through the Crystal Corridor was fantastic.
top left corner top right corner
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner
top left corner top right corner
Welcome to manhood. Leave your shirt on and your chalk pot at home.
Welcome to manhood. Leave your shirt on and your chalk pot at home.
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner

We pressed on along the knife edge ridge and eventually made it to the South Summit which was quite fantastic and exposed.
top left corner top right corner
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner
Clouds threaten, but we ain't skeerd. I give him the last 50 feet to the summit and his stoke is buzzing down the rope between us.
top left corner top right corner
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner
top left corner top right corner
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner
top left corner top right corner
In my 40's, climbing with a 20 year old keeps me drinking from the fou...
In my 40's, climbing with a 20 year old keeps me drinking from the fountain of youth.
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner

Nice views on the downclimb.
"Lookin like a real Alpinist kid!"
top left corner top right corner
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner

We hike out with full hearts and time on our hands. Northward we go! Tuolumne? The Valley? Mobile Mart for fish tacos? I need gas anyway, the Tundra is getting 11.8 now at this altitude and is thirsty for more fossil fuel. The weekend is young. The world is our oyster.

Sunrise finds us a few more miles further down the road. In the Lembert Dome parking lot with the Jetboil hissing away. Coffee percolates in perfect rythm with my heartbeat as I find my happy place.
top left corner top right corner
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner

The parking lot is full of familiar Supertopo faces and it's fun to meet Ed Hartouni and others in person for the first time.
top left corner top right corner
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner

We are 300 miles from where we thought we would be 24 hours ago so we have no guidebook and the beta stream overflows from these new friends of ours. They talk us into trying Crying Time Again .10a R and with apprehensive guts we rack and head up to be the first on the climb.
top left corner top right corner
"Rack the gear Boy.  And get me another cheese danish."
"Rack the gear Boy. And get me another cheese danish."
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner
I figure the kid can climb V8 and 5.12 so it will be good for his head to get on some 5.8 run out. There is a fine line between mentorship and hazing. So up he goes. The innocence of his youth winnowing with every foot higher he goes without protection.

top left corner top right corner
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner

Ok......so that pitch was stout. I'm really proud of the boy. Hard for 5.8 if you ask me. Spencer whimpered his way up in solid fashion, mumbling "dude I'm reeealy scared man..." over and over. He got suckered out right a couple times and I guided him back left while sneaking peeks on my i phone photo of the topo. I found the pitch really hard and may have yelled take at some point (though I will deny this later at the gym if the conversation comes up). We are both a bit rattled by the stiffness of the first pitch and we agree to rap off before I fall off the .10a traverse above that the guidebook says is "scary for the follower."

We head out with a lesson learned about gym grades vs. Tuolumne grades and we are smiling after finding out that B.L. and Hartouni bailed off American Wet Dream. "See Kid, sometimes you go up, sometimes you don't. A bad day here in paradise is better than a good day back at home flippin channels or doing yard work."

top left corner top right corner
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner

We South, through the great Valley, and toward Fresno and it's 104 degree surface temp. The drive goes quickly as I unleash 24 years of alpine wisdom on the child. I am Yoda and he is my patowan. I teach him the difference between cumulus and stratus, how to take the path of least resistance, how to place pro and how to equalize anchors and 12 ways to die rapping. He soaks it up like a sponge.

47 hours after leaving home we shut off the Tundra and check the mileage. 576 miles. A complete circumnavigation of the heart of the range. Four tanks of gas. One summit. One bail. Some new friends and a mountain man in the making. Not a bad way to spend 300$ in fuel.

top left corner top right corner
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner



Until next time, Supertopo.

Micronut, out.


Postscript: its sunday morning and I get this text:
The boy is hooked. Keep an eye out on craigslist for "Bouldering pad for Sale. Cheap."

top left corner top right corner
Credit: micronut
bottom left corner bottom right corner

  Trip Report Views: 3,754
micronut
About the Author
micronut is a trad climber from fresno, ca.

Comments
johnboy

Trad climber
Can't get here from there
  Jun 14, 2015 - 04:04pm PT
Nice, way to teach the n00b.



I get 15mpg with my Tundra 2013.
GDavis

Social climber
SOL CAL
  Jun 14, 2015 - 04:25pm PT
Did you backpack out to Crystal Crag? That area is so beautiful, what a cool way to go!

I got off-route on that 5.8 start to Cryin Time and ended up running a full 120 foot pitch with no pro before clipping a bolt after some 5.9 moves... still gives me the heebie jeebies to this day, haha.

FYI for the 'scary for follower' move, just clip the bolt with a long sling so the second can unclip After the mantel - 10a G/PG that way!
donini

Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
  Jun 14, 2015 - 04:38pm PT
Funny tr! Fun climbing with youngsters. I bet you haven't had one say....."hey, you're 25 years older than my father!" to which I replied...."has your grandmother ever told you about me?"
rockermike

Trad climber
Berkeley
  Jun 14, 2015 - 05:29pm PT
This macro micronut thing has be confused. Are you two people or one?

And whose the child slave you have washing your truck? I hope you invited him on the trip.
:)
My regular partner is twenty years my younger. He just had his fortieth but he's still a nube in my book.
micronut

Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
Author's Reply  Jun 14, 2015 - 06:29pm PT
Mike that's funny.

We both exist. No Tyler Dearden phenomena here.

We are both 42. I tore my left meniscus last year and had surgery and am finally back in action. He shredded his ACL last month literally as I finished my last sessions of physical therapy and this trip was to be my comeback trip. I got him into offroad motorcycles last year and he goes and does this to our climbing plans. Oh the irony.

Macronut (left) and Micronut (right)
Kalimon

Social climber
Ridgway, CO
  Jun 14, 2015 - 10:18pm PT
Cryin' time again . . . indeed, mostly at the gas pump.

Slaaaack!

Trad climber
Carbondale, CO
  Jun 15, 2015 - 09:26am PT
This made my day brah. I agree that first pitch of Cryin' Time is not easy and can play mind tricks on a man. Those bolts definitely trend up and way out left and are really hard to see. Well done getting up there and givin her a go! Thanks for a fun and funny report.
skcreidc

Social climber
SD, CA
  Jun 15, 2015 - 09:29am PT
Pretty cool TR.. Only thing missing is this soundtrack

[Click to View YouTube Video]

skcreidc

Social climber
SD, CA
  Jun 15, 2015 - 09:45am PT
Actually Micronut. I do have a legit question for you. Crystal Crag is one of the spots I'm thinking about taking my wife to to climb. How long did it take you to get off once you got to the top to scramble back down to the base? Or do you rap of of this thing.

Chris
FRUMY

Trad climber
Bishop,CA
  Jun 15, 2015 - 09:51am PT
Nice trip. TFPU
I average 18 in my gmc yukon XL 4x4.
JEleazarian

Trad climber
Fresno CA
  Jun 15, 2015 - 11:03am PT
As always, Scott, this trip report is first-rate, and up to your exceedingly high standards. I wish I could have been up there this weekend.

John
BrassNuts

Trad climber
Save your a_s, reach for the brass...
  Jun 15, 2015 - 12:03pm PT
Fun stuff, thanks for sharing and glad you like your new Yota truck! :-)
PAUL SOUZA

Trad climber
Central Valley, CA
  Jun 15, 2015 - 12:19pm PT
Nice send and TR boys! Well done!
son of stan

Boulder climber
San Jose CA
  Jun 15, 2015 - 02:50pm PT
"If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else.” ~ Yogi Berra

-but they have gas stations there to!
Ezra Ellis

Trad climber
North wet, and Da souf
  Jun 15, 2015 - 03:57pm PT
It's always great to teach a noob!!!,
Good times!
NutAgain!

Trad climber
https://nutagain.org
  Jun 15, 2015 - 04:34pm PT
Micro slaying nooberism one acolyte at a time. Excellent! In a few months of discipline you can put his 5.12 skills to use getting you up Crucifix: "Hey man, leave more gear on that traverse for me- that's it."
micronut

Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
Author's Reply  Jun 15, 2015 - 04:50pm PT
Speaking of "leave some gear in for me on traverses......"

I let him lead us across the notch between a couple of towers and come around a corner above a 60' downclimb and see this.

A 100 foot stretch of rope swaying in the wind connecting me to a kid rooting around for snacks in the backpack 60' below me. We had a chuckle and I explained how the leader is on top-rope when down-climbing......with no pro the second becomes a soloist. Good times.
rottingjohnny

Sport climber
Sands Motel , Las Vegas
  Jun 15, 2015 - 11:12pm PT
Why is it that dentist always have nice teeth...?
limpingcrab

Gym climber
Minkler, CA
  Jun 17, 2015 - 07:50am PT
Well I was gonna say something nice but then you went and insulted Subarus. We're through.
L

climber
Just livin' the dream
  Oct 1, 2015 - 04:37pm PT
LOL! ^^^^ I just bought a "Sissy Subaru" Outback and am soooo loving the 33mpg! Eat yer gas-guzzlin' heart out, Scotty! :-)

BTW--one of your best TR's yet. Every photo had me laughing...especially that 60' downclimb with yer partner digging through his pack for snacks. Priceless!
Madskates

climber
SLC, UT
  Oct 1, 2015 - 10:46pm PT
This is just simply amazing.
climbski2

Mountain climber
The Ocean
  Oct 1, 2015 - 10:51pm PT
DUDE! You need to get a real truck... A RAPTOR!!!
jonnyrig

climber
  Oct 2, 2015 - 07:31am PT
Holy bedroll Batman!
Looks like an awesome trip. Diggin the quartz outcrop.Bump for some climbing content.
Jaybro

Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
  Oct 2, 2015 - 08:11am PT
Adventure travel is both!
Even with large gas bills...,,
Trashman

Trad climber
SLC
  Oct 2, 2015 - 09:06am PT
OL! ^^^^ I just bought a "Sissy Subaru" Outback and am soooo loving the 33mpg! Eat yer gas-guzzlin' heart out, Scotty! :-)

Totally agree. I've got the same truck as a concession to bringing all the accessories for 2 kids under 4 into the backcountry. Counting days until the younger one turns 5 as my wife agreed that I can ditch it at that point to make them ride bikes in like we'd been doing before they showed up.

Wife has a subby and I'd take that thing any day over the beast.
Vitaliy M.

Mountain climber
San Francisco
  Oct 2, 2015 - 09:17am PT
Macronut told us that the NOAA website was ushering a lightning warning for all high country activity so we headed north faster than you can say "Sport Climbing is Neither."

Classic! :)
Go