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SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Original Post - Mar 17, 2009 - 05:22pm PT
Why don't we ever get any of your stories here?
You've got a history of being bold and

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW!!!!!!

So give us a bone, put some slides up and tell us some tales!!!!

I promise, you won't have to drop your drawers. . .
Anastasia

climber
Not here
Mar 17, 2009 - 05:25pm PT
(Just took her a seat near the campfire, really wanting to listen in...)

couchmaster

climber
Mar 17, 2009 - 06:16pm PT
(The old Couchmaster pulls up a chair, grabs a 6 pack and some popcorn: stars at the fire with his ears open and waits quietly........:-)
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Mar 17, 2009 - 06:22pm PT
You want stories about his bone????

Ewwww. I'm leaving this campfire
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Mar 17, 2009 - 06:46pm PT
A Hank story will always and necessarily include a hefty dose of bone...
Studly

Trad climber
WA
Mar 17, 2009 - 06:50pm PT
Bone home HC, everyone is waiting for a story......
Redwreck

Social climber
Los Angeles, CA
Mar 17, 2009 - 06:50pm PT
In "The Sharp End" he comes off as such a shy, retiring type, maybe that's why no stories here?
philo

Trad climber
boulder, co.
Mar 17, 2009 - 06:51pm PT
Yeah, shy and retiring, that's it.
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Mar 17, 2009 - 06:58pm PT
Hanky-Panky,

As a warmup, or like if you feel short on ideas, (hard to imagine) how about a little elaboration on your 5.11 slab soloing spree down in Texas?
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Mar 17, 2009 - 07:00pm PT
Or the base jump that put you through a skyscraper window...
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 17, 2009 - 07:02pm PT
Or even better, the south face of Half Dome. . .
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Mar 17, 2009 - 07:09pm PT
Or perhaps some discrete vignettes from your "film" career...

SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 17, 2009 - 08:28pm PT
And why not have your own slide show at Neptune's?????
MisterE

Trad climber
One Place or Another
Mar 18, 2009 - 12:32am PT
Bump - cuz now we can laugh at our crazy stunts?

Tryin' a different tactic to get the hen out of the hen-house, so to speak...

BWaaaaaak!
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 18, 2009 - 09:09am PT
Hankster, you haven't answered your admiring legions!!!!
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 18, 2009 - 10:05am PT
We're waiting anxiously!!!!!!
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 18, 2009 - 10:27am PT
Now, how about Half Dome????
WanderlustMD

Trad climber
DC Area (it's as bad as you've heard)
Mar 18, 2009 - 11:40am PT
heh, I've wanted to hear more about Hank as well. I got started climbing right around the time he went through the window.
survival

Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
Mar 18, 2009 - 11:44am PT
Hankster,

The freekin' Hueco story was hilarious, although too short!

A subject I can relate to!! Er....I mean...climbing, that is.
philo

Trad climber
boulder, co.
Mar 18, 2009 - 12:33pm PT
Hank was that the trip where I was responsible for keeping the Universe from entropy?
Or was I just driving?
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 18, 2009 - 12:37pm PT
Hank
Cat got your tongue?
Come on, we've waited so long for this minute,


We wanna story!!!!!


A long one, a classic -- You've had so many!!!!!!
Doug Robinson

Trad climber
Santa Cruz
Mar 18, 2009 - 12:51pm PT
Hank,

You once reproached me for gettin' it wrong in elaborating one of your stories. Sorry and all, but it just goes to show that we need you to elaborate them for yourself...

I like your acid-washed Hueco tale. Must admit that I could tell one or two of those.

Base104 told me the tale of you going through that window. Up close and personal on that would be good...
philo

Trad climber
boulder, co.
Mar 18, 2009 - 12:52pm PT
"all I know was someone barfed toothpaste down the side of your car!"


Where it stayed for an inordinate amount of time.
You could always tell my car in a parking lot.
Burt, the one seated Corolla wagon, was the only vehicle respectable folk would steer clear of and walk as far away from as possible. Even the riff raff and car thieves would leave me sticky notes that said I was bringing down the market. For a good price some offered to steal me a new car if I would just take Burt away.
Prod

Trad climber
A place w/o Avitars apparently
Mar 18, 2009 - 12:57pm PT
So Hank, I was wondering about that porno rumor? Was it a real porno production with hot porno stars? If so then who? Or was it just a long home movie kind of porno?

Just curious...

Prod.
jeff leads

Sport climber
ca
Mar 18, 2009 - 01:25pm PT
Caylor has more lead in his pencil then any of us on this site. Bow down b's so swole and hot right now
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 18, 2009 - 01:40pm PT
And that's exactly why we wanna hear those stories of his!!!!



He's da hardman!
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 18, 2009 - 02:40pm PT
Hanky poo, we don't need a book here, just more details. . .



hee hee hee. . . it's worth a beer to ya--


And why not get a show going at Neptune's?????
MisterE

Trad climber
One Place or Another
Mar 18, 2009 - 08:12pm PT
Bump for fun, weirdness and lunacy.

Hunter Thompson would approve.
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Mar 18, 2009 - 09:09pm PT
Stand back kids.
I know how to work this detail...

Say there... hey Hank.... how's it hangin'???

Hey ... I'd gladly buy you a beer tomorrow for a story today.
You can claim tomorrow's beer at the Southern Sun prior to the Bachar slideshow.

Deal?
Cool, I thought so.
Any story of your choosing.
Let 'er rip!!!
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 18, 2009 - 09:30pm PT
And I'll raise Tarbuster's beer to two!

We're all here around the campfire!
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 19, 2009 - 08:17am PT
Bump again. . . c'mon Hank. . . .



PULEEEEEESSSEEEEEE!!!!!!
Prod

Trad climber
A place w/o Avitars apparently
Mar 19, 2009 - 11:42am PT
Throw us a bone Hankster, maybe a pic or a name?

Prod.
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Mar 19, 2009 - 12:33pm PT
A PINT sized story, but STOUT nonetheless...
Prod

Trad climber
A place w/o Avitars apparently
Mar 19, 2009 - 01:07pm PT
This is a good one...
Mungeclimber

Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
Mar 19, 2009 - 01:31pm PT
damn flyers are all crazy, no matter what type of wing they use.

nice
Elcapinyoazz

Social climber
Redlands
Mar 19, 2009 - 01:32pm PT
Dude, you're inside the building.
Crimpergirl

Social climber
Boulder, Colorado!
Mar 19, 2009 - 01:36pm PT
I'm looking at this thread, but I feel a great deal of fear doing so!
Anastasia

climber
Not here
Mar 19, 2009 - 01:41pm PT
(I just opened another beer to prepare for the next chapter! I am playing with the campfire to hide my restless excitement.)
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 19, 2009 - 01:43pm PT
Anastasia

Hoping not to cause any social anxiety, may I grab a beer
and sit next to you. . . I promise I'll behave. . .
:-)

I can't say that Hank will . . .
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 19, 2009 - 02:41pm PT
More, More MORE comes from the assembled crowd,

all of them BIG TIME ADMIRERS of the HANKSTER!!!!



But they still wanna hear about Half Dome. . .



:-)
GDavis

Trad climber
Mar 19, 2009 - 03:15pm PT
State of the art? I think you mean "primitive." State of the Art is a Stan Lee Movie. Southern Belle is like hunting a woolly mammoth...
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 19, 2009 - 03:49pm PT
I can feel the tension build. . .

Man, keep it goin' Hank!
Mungeclimber

Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
Mar 19, 2009 - 04:21pm PT
"This is when things get goofy."

my new signature, thx!

heh

TKingsbury

Trad climber
MT
Mar 19, 2009 - 04:32pm PT
Good sh#t Maynard!
MisterE

Trad climber
One Place or Another
Mar 19, 2009 - 04:37pm PT
KICK ASS! ™ ™
Russ Walling

Social climber
Upper Fupa, North Dakota
Mar 19, 2009 - 04:57pm PT
Hank, you forgot the part where we were dating.....


carry on.... GREAT STUFF!!!!!666
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 19, 2009 - 06:01pm PT
Russ is gonna be there too?
Wow!

All star night!!!!
Anastasia

climber
Not here
Mar 20, 2009 - 12:19am PT
SteveW, I'll give you a beer to sit with me. :)
Hankster! More!!!
(Wiggle, wiggle, melting my shoes in the fire. Stomp, stomp... Pretending that the burned smell is not mine, etc, etc.)
Mungeclimber

Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
Mar 20, 2009 - 03:11am PT
what's it like to do the moves in that chimney that ya base out of? the jump looks cake compared to the sketch approach!
wayne w

Trad climber
the nw
Mar 20, 2009 - 04:21am PT
Wish I could make the Bachar show...just a bit too far away this time of the year.

How about Ariana with Derek...

Hank?!
philo

Trad climber
boulder, co.
Mar 20, 2009 - 09:47am PT
How about Space Lichen on Acid or Tiny Rubber Love?
Or Sixth Happiness? Block That Kick. Block That Kick. Block That Kick.
couchmaster

climber
Mar 20, 2009 - 11:33am PT
(the couchmaster jams his face with kernels and waits...looking blankly into the fire - thinking of Alan Lester's wisdom on picking to lead the cracks and leaving the slabs to his partner....knowing that Hank still had to get off of Half Dome and that the rest of that story is still forthcoming)......
philo

Trad climber
boulder, co.
Mar 20, 2009 - 11:45am PT
Whew, what's that smell? Hey Anastasia your shoes are on fire. Someone pass me a smor.
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Mar 20, 2009 - 12:44pm PT
Multiple lines of sheer madness wrapped in blood and guts and glory. Scoot over, dudes and dudettes...I've got a fresh cooler of all your favorites right here. Pass the Hankster whatever he wants...he's really rollin' now. Doesn't get better than this...

-JelloAtTheFire
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 20, 2009 - 01:07pm PT
Jello
Pass me one of those Sierra Nevada Pale ale's, please!
Studly

Trad climber
WA
Mar 20, 2009 - 01:37pm PT
"dude, we're from Boulder and won't be rescued in Yosemite."

That is priceless....OMG, and then he carried you down to YV. Wow, you Boulder guys, must be something in the water or did you chew paint chips as a child? Seriously, what a effort!
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 20, 2009 - 01:41pm PT
Tell 'em Hank, it's just becuz you're an ELDO PRANCER!!!!
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Mar 20, 2009 - 01:42pm PT
"dude, we're from Boulder and we won't be rescued in Yosemite".

Easy for Alan to say, huh, Hank? You guys were soooo close to pulling the knickers off the Southern Belle! She was haughtier than a virgin, and you nearly did her...

Here's that Pale Ale you asked for, Steve.

Speaking of virgins...don't imagine there were too many of those around on the set of that porno flick, eh, Hanky?
MisterE

Trad climber
One Place or Another
Mar 20, 2009 - 01:55pm PT
Brutal. Hellish. Gripping. Excellent!
Fletcher

Trad climber
here to eternity
Mar 20, 2009 - 02:00pm PT
One of the best campfire's we've ever had round these parts. You can't make this stuff up. Awesome. HST would be proud.

Eric


Broken

climber
Texas
Mar 20, 2009 - 02:29pm PT
Outstanding thread. That Southern Belle attempt was one for the ages...

Also, as a Texan, I second Tarbuster's idea: the 5.11 slab soloing binge while in Austin is a tale I'd like to hear...

EDIT:

Also: "The 3rd worst moment of my climbing life was on the Belle."

What were the first two?
Doug Robinson

Trad climber
Santa Cruz
Mar 20, 2009 - 03:04pm PT
this particular post is not right.

Whew! Pass me one of those Sierra Nevadas. No, make it two.

I was going to go skiing, but I'm glued to this boulder by the fire.

Singed shoe smell lingering
Acrid by the tale telling fire
Keeps me from swooning
Prod

Trad climber
A place w/o Avitars apparently
Mar 20, 2009 - 03:50pm PT
Here's to you Hank!

Prod.
James

climber
My twin brother's laundry room
Mar 20, 2009 - 04:13pm PT
Wow. I better get my goretex. This here's some serious spray. Can't say I mind it as much when it's mixed with such a good sense of humor, and exciting story telling. Cool stuff Caylor.
philo

Trad climber
boulder, co.
Mar 20, 2009 - 05:13pm PT
Come on Hank there is more, so much more.
Here have a smor and a mocha.
Fletcher

Trad climber
here to eternity
Mar 20, 2009 - 05:19pm PT
My ass is freezing and my boots are melting... but I'm not moving from this campfire.... bring on more!

Eric
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Mar 20, 2009 - 05:44pm PT
A little intermission vignette on the doings of SWANK HANK.

In the early 90s I used to organize these mass outings to the dance clubs around Boulder.
Below is a typical shot snagged from one of those evenings featuring myself, Hank, Sue and Jane.

The morning after this picture was taken, the four of us lounged most of the day in bed,
Making cookie sandwiches with ice cream in between and drinking red wine while watching rented movies:




But that isn't the story....

On a particular evening aside from the one mentioned above, we were en masse in our usual inebriated raucous mode about town and there were more than a few "hookups" by the end of the night.

Prod went home with Allison (there have been two and I'm not saying which one).

....and Hank bagged this little dish named Anne, a 'hot to trot' blonde number who we all knew fairly well. She was a few years Hank's senior, then enduring a long stretch of rocky marital seas, altogether qualifying her as single and somewhat the wanton "older" woman, at least standing next to that green bean Hank...

We usually ended the party evenings and started our cragging days on the "The Hill", in the vicinity of Café Roma. So the next morning I'm strolling up for the usual late morning coffee extravaganza, when up pulls Anne's sporty little red four-cylinder and it sort of nudges up cockeyed to the curb.

She kind of fumbled out of the car, dazed, all akimbo and accosted by the bright sunlight and vainly checking her coiffure...
JUST WHAT DID YOU DO TO THAT WOMAN HANK???
Well, clearly she needed it and got it, in spades.

Anne paid me that sort of look: "no point in keeping any secrets", she was totally disoriented, sorely in need of a cup of coffee, and had an aura like she'd just pulled an all nighter going backwards on the ferris wheel, having also devoured ALL the cotton candy...
MisterE

Trad climber
One Place or Another
Mar 20, 2009 - 06:07pm PT
Juicy!
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 20, 2009 - 06:14pm PT
Hankster, that could almost pass for the Tarbuster man himself,
standin' next to you in that pic!!!

'cept we know it isn't, cuz it's not a cowboy hat. . .
couchmaster

climber
Mar 20, 2009 - 06:19pm PT
So I'll probably screw this story up as it must be over 30 years old in my mind cause I heard it from Gary @ 1980 I suppose. but here goes anyway. My friend Gary (Gary Rall, owner of Portland Rock Gym) had just turned 16 and got his license. He and his younger buddy decide it's time to learn to drive pitons. So they pile in Garys rig and head to the local boulder for the shess.


Gary's up high on this thing, when the intersection of knowledge, youth and stupidity coincide and the words "Expanding Flake" entered the youths lexicon. the pin he was on fails -and as it was an expanding flake, a boulder split down the middle so to speak, no pro was between Gary and the deck which he hit much faster than you did Hank.

Broke his foot.

His left one.

It was a clutch.

His buddy was too young to drive and again: it was a clutch. So Gary drove to the hospital where they casted it.

His belayer? Could have it wrong, but I'm thinking it was Alan Lester. If you see him, ask Alan if that was him too. Tell him Bill Coe says hi.
MisterE

Trad climber
One Place or Another
Mar 20, 2009 - 07:49pm PT
"Get ready, I have to clear some stories with ChrisMac though. "

"...and here. we. go."

philo

Trad climber
boulder, co.
Mar 21, 2009 - 04:16pm PT
Bumpski
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Mar 21, 2009 - 04:39pm PT
hey there hankster... wow, after a story like that south face half-dome... whew... the two of you made quite team... (i am working backwards to see what stories are there, well, strickly climbing stories, at any rate... as i saw the list...)

how'd the ankles heal up?

as to your quote here:
"I begged and pleaded for a YOSAR rescue, a helicopter or whatever. Alan then looked me straight in the eyes and said "dude, were from Boulder and we won't be rescued in Yosemite". Alan literally carried me on his back to Little Yosemite Valley, a coupla miles. I then took a horse ride down to the bottom. Another crazed experience."


my oh my... somethings a man's just got to do, and... his ol' buddy take's the "back" seat...

:)


say, how WAS that wild horse ride... :)
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Mar 21, 2009 - 04:52pm PT
hey there hankster... say.... after reading that ol' base jumping story... say, you were lucky to be still walking around this here "neck of woods"....

my you sure DO have stories...

but, wow... as to that half dome one, sure am glad you both made it, as well....
Josh Higgins

Trad climber
San Diego
May 19, 2010 - 06:14pm PT
Bump for one of the better threads ever....

Josh
tahoe523

Trad climber
Station Wagon, USA
Jun 8, 2011 - 12:10pm PT
Alpinist Magazine just posted up Hank's account of Southern Belle.

Do you wanna take a 200' fall and blow out your legs, or do you wanna hold a 200 foot fall as the belayer? Behind every earthquaking leader is a bold unheralded person holding the other end of the line. The belayer of freaks should be recognized!

A bump for Alan Lester, the unsung hero. Thanks, Hank, for the incredible story.
Weld_it

Trad climber
Chatsworth
Jun 8, 2011 - 03:59pm PT
the four of us lounged most of the day in bed,

FACT: HANK IS BY? RADNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mighty Hiker

climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Jun 8, 2011 - 09:18pm PT
^^^^^^

Best use of "canoodling" in a SuperTopo thread.
Matt Thomsen

Big Wall climber
Places
Jun 8, 2011 - 09:58pm PT
Classic! I was Deans pimp in the southeast the weeks before the Colorado shoot... What a job that guy has! Ha Ha Ha!
Vegasclimber

Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
Jun 9, 2011 - 12:05am PT
*quietly pulls up a chair in behind the big guns so as not to intrude too much, after setting another case down for everyone to get into*

This. is the best. Thread ever.

Hope we get more tales!

Fritz

Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
Jun 9, 2011 - 12:17am PT
Hell of a last story, (the inch deep drill holding the fall) and heck of a thread!

thanks all!
Wade Icey

Trad climber
www.alohashirtrescue.com
Jun 9, 2011 - 02:28am PT
better'n a wolves' foreskin bump
philo

Trad climber
Somewhere halfway over the rainbow
Jun 9, 2011 - 10:01am PT
Yeah Hankster, i remember that belay like it happened just 30 years ago or something like that. A date that will live in Hank-famy.
Vegasclimber

Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
Jun 11, 2011 - 11:44pm PT
Bumping!

Bein as you said you were warmed up, and all :D
YoungGun

climber
North
Nov 17, 2011 - 01:39pm PT
BUMP

More stories!!!
couchmaster

climber
pdx
Nov 17, 2011 - 03:16pm PT
Hanks having surgery this very day Younggun, so no stories today.....should be an interesting story later if told, albiet not as interesting as the other 1000 ones he could tell first I'd imagine:-)

discussion thread on that was here:

http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.php?topic_id=1660762&tn=0&mr=0

steve west

Trad climber
Newport Beach
Nov 17, 2011 - 09:27pm PT
you still have those purple tights ? this is the other steve west the boreal guy...
Ezra Ellis

Trad climber
WA, & NC & Idaho
Nov 17, 2011 - 10:09pm PT
BEST THREAD EVER,

Thanks Y'all especially Hank!
Messages 1 - 88 of total 88 in this topic
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