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Lambone
Ice climber
Ashland, Or
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Topic Author's Original Post - Oct 16, 2008 - 03:23pm PT
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Anybody know what I mean?
After returning from Yosemite, the world just seems kinda grey...and I can't get exited about anything. I just wanna be back up there...
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Jonny D
Social climber
Lost Angelez, Kalifornia
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Oct 16, 2008 - 03:25pm PT
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i remember being high on endorfin for a while after a wall. when that wears off, it's worst than heroin...
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Jonny D
Social climber
Lost Angelez, Kalifornia
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Oct 16, 2008 - 03:26pm PT
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not that i would now anything about that
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GhoulweJ
Trad climber
Sacramento, CA
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Oct 16, 2008 - 03:26pm PT
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Same problem here.
I have been back a couple of weeks and still have not engaged... A bit depressed.
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nature
climber
Santa Fe, NM
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Oct 16, 2008 - 03:29pm PT
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The Flatlanderers are just not as much fun as the folks that hang out in the vertical world.
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Shimanilami
Trad climber
San Jose, CA
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Oct 16, 2008 - 03:48pm PT
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I'm totally with you. I think it's because climbing big walls is totally consuming. For several days, you think about nothing except for climbing. It's almost like you've been transported to a separate reality. And when you "come back to earth", life seems so mundane in comparison.
It's different with trips where you get to return to camp at night, because you don't get that total immersion experience. It's not that I don't enjoy those kinds of trips, but they're just not the same.
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
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Oct 16, 2008 - 03:53pm PT
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Thing about it this way guys, you don't have to haul the pig at work.
does this help at all?
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Lambone
Ice climber
Ashland, Or
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Topic Author's Reply - Oct 16, 2008 - 04:06pm PT
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Glad I'm not alone...
F*#k I'd take hauling a pig over this redundant bullshit anyday. I'd even take doing the East Ledges with 90lbs over this chair...
And I got it easy, nothing to complain about, I work around climbers everyday, have a beautiful supportive wife, a nice home, friends, health...yet I'm still just.....bummed. Scheeming allready when/how I can get back up there for another run of suffering.
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myterious
Trad climber
Joshua Tree
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Oct 16, 2008 - 04:12pm PT
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This is a sub case of PMS (Post Mountain Syndrome)
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crøtch
climber
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Oct 16, 2008 - 04:12pm PT
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I think Shimanilami nailed it - "total immersion". Any trip that requires me to be on point 24hrs/day for many days in a novel setting can lead to "reentry" difficulties.
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GhoulweJ
Trad climber
Sacramento, CA
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Oct 16, 2008 - 04:13pm PT
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Ditto to what "Mike." said perfectly.
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Lambone
Ice climber
Ashland, Or
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Topic Author's Reply - Oct 16, 2008 - 04:17pm PT
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Any suggested remedies? Besides sex, drugs, and rock'n roll?
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crøtch
climber
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Oct 16, 2008 - 04:18pm PT
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Bone - remedies: look at your photos & write a tr (temporary relief only) pull out a guidebook and start planning your next trip, get a guidebook to somewhere you've never been and always wanted to go.
Do regular folks feel this way when they come back to work after a week sipping margaritas at club med?
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salad
climber
Escondido
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Oct 16, 2008 - 04:19pm PT
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how bout sex, drugs and another wall?
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aldude
climber
Monument Manor
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Oct 16, 2008 - 04:20pm PT
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Wall climbing = Sisyphus.
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Beatrix Kiddo
Mountain climber
Littleton
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Oct 16, 2008 - 04:21pm PT
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This happens to me constantly. It even happens after single day alpine stints up in the mountains. The sadness can begin as early as the approach out. It sucks. I'm feeling it now. I feel like I fit better in a world that is more natural like in the mountains, on rocks, in the desert, surrounded by animals and the in ocean, away from society. I recognize that I am a contributor to it but I can't stand all of the superficial bullshit that takes place outside of these natural environments. I have a good life with 2 loving sons, a good job, great friends, etc. . . So I can't explain why it hits me so hard to come back. I should be grateful because I am very fortunate. I have no idea what it is like to do heroine and feel the coming down part of it but if it is anything like what I feel after my time away, I'll NEVER so much as even try it.
Immediately planning the next climb or trip helps me. As soon as I have a firm plan I begin to feel better. Having something to look forward to, train towards and learn about before hand helps. I sometimes feel sorry for my friends. We have long days on just about any given Sunday. They are happy with what we did and are happy to be home for some rest, when sure enough, Monday morning rolls around and they already have messages in their inboxes from me, trying to make plans for any bit of free time I have for the remainder of the week and my full days off.
I've been saving for years for my sons. When they are in college, I'm outta here. I guess only then I'll know if I am just a bummed out person in general or if it is being down here that makes me bummed.
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Fat Dad
Trad climber
Los Angeles, CA
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Oct 16, 2008 - 04:23pm PT
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I'm not sure if I'd call it depression. Maybe restlessness. One nice perk I got from walls was that it reminded me how important the big things are down below--family, friends, relationships. Everything else was bullsh#t.
When I'd top out, I'd always be really relieved. You're in one piece and the hard work (except for the descent) is over.
Then when I got down I was usually pretty high about the accomplishment, the warm showers, being with my loved ones. That lasted about a week, just about the time my hands stopped hurting when I opened and closed them. Then it starts. I start looking at the guidebook and making imaginary plans to bag something new.
Where I am now in life, I may never get to do another route on the Captain. That doesn't stop me from making my pathetic little imaginary plans to get up there. That'll never go away.
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
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Oct 16, 2008 - 04:31pm PT
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Next week will be at least 4 weeks without climbing, except a brief bouldering session on a friend's wall.
No wonder I want to post the living sh#t out of pic threads.
I have PMS.
hahaha
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micronut
Trad climber
fresno, ca
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Oct 16, 2008 - 04:39pm PT
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I feel your pain. As bad as I want my soft bed and a nice frosty Sierra Nevada Summerfest ale when I'm out there, the return holds a bit of emptiness.
Without getting all "religious", the truth has to be that climbing fills a portion of the emptiness that comes from the unanswered big questions in life.
1. Why am I here?
2. What's the point?
There are answers to these questions. Walls help. Motorcycles help. The opposite sex helps, so do grand adventures and life changing experiences. But there is more to life than "the experience." "The experience" will always fall short for lasting fullness. As corny and cliche as it sounds, there is a God shaped hole in everymans heart. All else is a band-aid. Ask the hard questions. Seek the hard answers.
16 "For everything in the world—the cravings of man, the lust of life and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever."
John Ch 2
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Ottawa Doug
Social climber
Ottawa, Canada
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Oct 16, 2008 - 04:50pm PT
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Hey Lambone,
I totally concur! Nine days on Tribal Rite and the only thing that mattered was the next placement, bivi, meal, etc...
Now that I'm back at work 'fcuking the dog' (service counter at MEC) I dream about my next trip to the valley. That will probably be in Sept./Oct. 09
FFFaaaacccck!
Somehow the time will pass and one evening I'll drive up to the bridge and life will be both scary and perfect for a couple of weeks.
Cheers,
Doug
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Oct 16, 2008 - 09:02pm PT
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hey there lambone... say, not being a climber, though i still greatly understand, as i love being up in the mountains...
and:
i used to do street entertaining, with a variety of dances, and once the "push" is over, there is the "loss of such energy"...
what you could do that might help, is what i did with "off time"...
TEACH... however, you cant really do THAT...
BUT SAY:
COULD you set up times at a library, or a nearby school, or something, or local festivals for kids and:
talk about your trip report, do hightlights using the pictures and/or projector... demostrate about the gear, or share the "high rush" fine-points of the trip, etc....
well, you get my drift... more exciting than just sharing at home...
some schools, exspecially if you have kids, let folks come in and share... lots of libraries, do too....
(just something to do when the "downer" hits you---not always, or---you will not have time to ready-up and plan for the REAL THING, once again...
it really can bring the "feeling" alive again, when you PASS IT ON to hungry learners... (perhaps an out-door share, near a climbing gym area, (advertise ahead of time)...
oh, well, just trying to help you out a mite...
*edit.. you can make the show as exciting or dramatic as you want... you are in charge then... :)
become a suspenceful story teller, and reach a new generation.,..
*if they are too young, though, you must add the "do NOT try this at home, etc"...
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Oct 16, 2008 - 11:22pm PT
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I get what you mean, but I'm not quite there yet. My body and especially my hands are usually so sore after a wall, I don't miss the climbing until I'm off it for a couple weeks. But my fingers are no longer swollen, and they don't wake me up in pain in the middle of the night. Nor have I taken an Ibu in days.
I guess if I were still there it would be time to start schlepping.
In the meantime, I'm going caving in Kentucky next week.
P.S. Sometimes after a wall, I will wake up in bed with a start, because I am not tied in! Does that happen to anyone else?
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BriGuy
Trad climber
SL,UT
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Oct 16, 2008 - 11:36pm PT
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yeah Matt, I know what you mean....I'm going to Zion for redemption Oct. 20-22...anyone interested?
B
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Holdplease2
Big Wall climber
Yosemite area
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Oct 16, 2008 - 11:45pm PT
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Until I have my stuff sorted out and put away, I have waking-sleeping dreams.
Sometimes I half-way wake up, and worry about why I'm not tied in, but the ledge is big...I toss around tangled up in rope on the ledge. Its a sheet on my bed, I figure it out, but it takes a minute.
On the ceiling of my room is a smoke alarm, it has a white/green light. I wake up in the middle of the night and see it as a headlamp from another party and I try to figure out if its above me having an epic or an IAD climberover on the nose...it takes a minute to orient...to the fact that its the smoke alarm on the ceiling.
My PWDS is bad enough now that I racked up for the next wall yesterday. I'm not climbing again until May of next year.
Pete - If I shout loud enough from here, you can prolly hear me trying to wake you up in the morning. I know, that's your waking wall nightmare. ;)
-Kate.
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Lightgirl
Social climber
Mendocino, Ca
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Oct 16, 2008 - 11:47pm PT
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Jonny D wrote "i remember being high on endorfin for a while after a wall. when that wears off, it's worst than heroin..."
Even though I'm new to climbing, I understand what everyone is saying. I've been hooked on endorfins and adrenaline in the past (with sports) and climbing feels even better. I bet that there is also some sort of withdrawal from looking at all the spectacular views & scenery. I hope someday to experience a multi-day climb. (At least I wouldn't have to re-adjust to things like electricity or running water.)
I really like what Mike wrote. That's really well written and sort of poetic.
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10b4me
climber
the gray bands
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Oct 16, 2008 - 11:56pm PT
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I know what you mean.
monday mornings, I want to be back out there.
as they say, suffering is only suffering while your doing it. once its over, it doesn't seem that bad.
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MisterE
Trad climber
My Inner Nut
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Oct 17, 2008 - 12:04am PT
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My comment after Mox Peak was:
"There are some trips you never fully come back from"
Find the big V in the Realz, tho!
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Lambone
Ice climber
Ashland, Or
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Topic Author's Reply - Oct 24, 2008 - 06:16pm PT
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Kate, that's funny about your dreams! I have the same thing, the green light on the ceiling! On my nightstand there is a phone with two red lights, I woke in the middle of the night thinking, sh#t I left the walkies on...wtf? So I'm fubling around with the phone trying to find the on/off knob for the walkies.
My wife is like, "Matt is everything ok, what are you doing? Who are you calling? It's 3am."
"OH SH#T! Sorry babe, thought I was still on El Cap...where's the pee bottle?"
I eventually decided the only way to get over the post wall depression was to go back and do the thing again!
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Regan
Big Wall climber
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Oct 24, 2008 - 06:27pm PT
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I just recognized some syndroms, but always I have the same medicines:
1. I dream
2. I work on the next project
3. I count days
...try this maybe help...
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Ed Bannister
Mountain climber
Riverside, CA
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Oct 24, 2008 - 07:31pm PT
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There is always remembering...and
your co-workers have never been where you have, and never will,
and..
it sounds like tyou have the opportunity to go back!
be thankful for both and sanity will be preserved.
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Gunkie
climber
East Coast US
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Oct 24, 2008 - 08:57pm PT
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I'm with Fat Dad.
I think I experienced some let down after doing each wall route. However, I never dropped into some emotional abyss. As a matter of fact, I think my emotional life was raised a full notch after each wall, on a long term basis. Probably becasue I erase all the wimpering I was doing on the wall and inflate all of the other moments in my mind.
2009 Plans: Either rope-solo two North Conway grade IV routes in a day [Mordor Wall & Mines of Moria] OR rope-solo Labyrinth Wall Direct on Cannon. Neither may come to fruition but the thought keeps me from moving into the local Dunkin Donuts.
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rockermike
Mountain climber
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Oct 24, 2008 - 11:39pm PT
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Nothing cures a hangover like the hair of the dog that bit you. ha
Get back out there - and never come down.
Hell, we're all going to be unemployed soon anyway. Lots of time for trips in the coming years. Just hope you got a good supply of ropes and what not stashed away. ha ha
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Ola Girl
Trad climber
Thousand Oaks, CA
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Oct 25, 2008 - 12:19am PT
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I dreamt I was still on the wall every night for at least a week or two. I would frequently wake up to find myself sitting on the edge of my bed thinking I was still at Camp Five. One night I woke up in a panic ranting "Oh my god - the cat isn't tied in!!!!" I was convinced my cat was going to fall off the ledge any second. Needless to say...I scared the crap out of him.
The best cure - be present in your life. I caught myself day dreaming about El Cap while I was out for a ride on my horse a few days ago and I thought "Am I crazy?!" I'm on the best horse in the whole wide world, out in the peaceful solitude of the Santa Monica Mountains (yes, there's solitude in the mtns around LA) - how many people in this world wish they were in my shoes right now and I'm wishing I was somewhere else?!?!
Savor every moment, whether you are doing what you want or not. We're only on this planet a short time.
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