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jbar
Mountain climber
Inside my head
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Topic Author's Original Post - Oct 12, 2008 - 10:43pm PT
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Had a fun time climbing this weekend!
So I'm at the second belay ledge and a guy on a really easy slab section down from me yells to his buddies "hey, I think I'm gonna Australian rappel" then proceeds to hook a figure 8 to his haul loop and rocket down the rock.
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tooth
Mountain climber
B.C.
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Oct 12, 2008 - 11:19pm PT
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Great TR! now how was the rope drag after you got over that lip? Or was that the guy who rapped off of his haul loop?
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Strider
Trad climber
one of god's mountain temples....
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Oct 12, 2008 - 11:26pm PT
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Good eye tooth, I thought the same thing when I saw the rope pinched underneath that roof because of the short QD's.
Stoopidest thing I have heard while climbing was from my partner/belayer. I was in a squeeze chimney with my feet trashing about and my hands groping everywhere for a hold to help pull myself through the squeeze part. He says, "Looks like a squeeze to me..."
Maybe you had to be there but I was ready to clock him upside the head with a #6 when he came up to the upper belay.
-n
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Social climber
valley center, ca
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Oct 12, 2008 - 11:33pm PT
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Guy explaining the grigri to gal friend. "They make these cause alot of belayers don't pay attention and this way the climber doesn't get hurt." Yikes !
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Sherri
climber
WA
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Oct 13, 2008 - 12:09am PT
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"You mean we could have just WALKED up?!" Spoken by a noob upon learning there was a walk-OFF.
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Darren D.
Social climber
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Oct 13, 2008 - 12:25am PT
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Tooth only noticed the rope because that's one of his stunts...at least every time I went climbing with him.
While climbing one of the ski tracks at Tahqitz, the one with the step around move, my partner (Tooth), clipped the fixed pin, ensuring horrendous rope drag. But instead of fixing it with a runner, he tried to make the move anyway, but alas, the drag was worse than rope drag...it was rope stop. So the climber (Tooth), yells down to me, "give me some slack, I'm going to jump across..."
I always thought that was pretty stoopid,,,miss you Tooth! :)
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jbar
Mountain climber
Inside my head
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Topic Author's Reply - Oct 13, 2008 - 01:26am PT
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Hey tooth thing is thats the only place for pro and I was too chicken to skip it so I had to back climb and pull those two cams once I got one in up higher. I went straight over the roof from there so drag wasn't that bad. Never seen anyone on the route before and I thought I'd give it a go. Turned out much easier than I thought it would be.
At the top of the 1st pitch of a climb I yell down "off belay" hear back "belays off" and begin pulling the slack out of the rope. Right about when I see the end of the rope coming up I hear "oh, did you want me to tie in?"
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HighDesertDJ
Trad climber
Arid-zona
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Oct 13, 2008 - 01:30am PT
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Stupidest: After watching a guy take a fall on a sport route and almost hit a tree, a nearby climber said "man I spent 2 hours cutting that branch off....maybe I should cut the whole tree down."
Maybe you should CLIMB ONE OF THE OTHER 300 ROUTES.
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theEcstasyofhistory
climber
LA, CA
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Oct 13, 2008 - 02:42am PT
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A guy on a 5.10 sport route at Owens was climbing over a ledge with the rope wrapped around his leg. His friend said "hey you should watch the rope around your leg," to which he replied "when you climb as hard as I do, then you can tell what to do..."
Not only was he lacking basic skills, he was an as#@&%e.
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jbar
Mountain climber
Inside my head
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Topic Author's Reply - Oct 13, 2008 - 03:22pm PT
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One time I saw this guy in a gym talking to a really hot girl while his buddy frank was getting ready to climb. Frank said "you got me" and they guy says "yeah", then looks down and realizes the rope isn't through his belay device! What an idiot. Can't remember what his name was but he looked a lot like me.
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Shrug
Trad climber
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Oct 13, 2008 - 03:40pm PT
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"Guy explaining the grigri to gal friend. "They make these cause alot of belayers don't pay attention and this way the climber doesn't get hurt." Yikes ! "
Heard that as well.
I also heard in a popular area in the midwest:
"I don't know how to make an anchor, i'll just tie some webbing to a tree"
From a passing hikers:
"F-ing climbers, always up here"
"How do you guys make the rope stick to the wall?"
I wish I could move...
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macalpin
climber
UT
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Oct 13, 2008 - 03:47pm PT
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"that can't be a route, there aren't any bolts"
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Mark Hudon
Trad climber
Hood River, OR
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Oct 13, 2008 - 05:33pm PT
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Some guy at Smith Rock, on top of Five Gallon Buckets, yells down to his buddies, "Hey, how do you tie that knot again"?
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MisterE
Trad climber
My Inner Nut
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Oct 13, 2008 - 05:59pm PT
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Good one, Mark!
Also, at Smith...while bolting "Equineimity" on the Fourth Horseman, some noob on Cinnamon Slab yells at me:
"Hey! You can't do that!"
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Fat Dad
Trad climber
Los Angeles, CA
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Oct 13, 2008 - 06:01pm PT
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Not stupid, annoying:
Climbing at Hemingway Buttress while a doofus on some nearby routes keeps singing "Keep on rocking in the free world!", not the song, just that line, every two minutes for several hours.
...Aaarrrghhhh!
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
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Oct 13, 2008 - 06:02pm PT
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Inside CRSP, after boyfriend makes first clip on sport route he ask his lounging girlfriend, "I'm on belay, right?".
She replies, "Did you wanna be on belay?".
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nature
climber
Santa Fe, NM
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Oct 13, 2008 - 06:04pm PT
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HEy Bro... here... hold my beer and watch this....
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Oct 13, 2008 - 06:04pm PT
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Asked by a novice below a crack climb in Squamish's Little Smoke Bluffs, which I made the first ascent of: "Did you set this route?"
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Social climber
valley center, ca
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Oct 13, 2008 - 06:06pm PT
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Fat Dad, are you related to Skully ?....Aaarrrghhh.
EDIT: From several pretty darn good climbers after "surviving" longish climbs. "I really didn't think we'd need that much H20".
(And they never learned... what can you say : D )
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Moof
Big Wall climber
A cube at my soul sucking job in Oregon
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Oct 13, 2008 - 07:12pm PT
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"Is this hold on?"
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jbar
Mountain climber
Inside my head
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Topic Author's Reply - Oct 13, 2008 - 07:15pm PT
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moof I hope that was in a gym and not rock climbing.
Not so stupid but I'm sure everyone here has had the "Did you climb up here" question when you're doing a walk off carrying all of your gear and a rope.
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Michelle
Trad climber
El Frickin' Paso
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Oct 13, 2008 - 07:26pm PT
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not the stupidest but probably the scariest...
"dude. Did YOU bring the lighter??"
a grim day indeed
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Moof
Big Wall climber
A cube at my soul sucking job in Oregon
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Oct 13, 2008 - 07:37pm PT
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jbar,
Nope, outside. The dude was actually a good climber, but let it slip out before he realized it, as he was asking about a face hold while gripped in a crack. He didn't live it down.
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Dr. Rock
Ice climber
http://tinyurl.com/4oa5br
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Oct 13, 2008 - 10:42pm PT
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Weird how many hikers never look up.
I was workin on Pyramid at Castle, almost at the top, just hangin out, here comes a hiker.
Stops right underneath and starts talkin to himself:
"Lets see, milk, mayonaise, ground beef, chicken, tampons..."
I don't know what he was planin , but I stayed silent til he moved on down the line.
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Pennsylenvy
Gym climber
Fannie's Crack, AZ
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Oct 13, 2008 - 10:58pm PT
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Michelle,
that is scary..not having a lighter.....Once while climbing at a sporto crag we were puffin down and this guy yells down asking us to stop smokin' and having a good time, he was "gripped". A few extra puffs up his way got him up the route @ 5.10c. Lesson learned SMP at 5.10c!
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Dr. Rock
Ice climber
http://tinyurl.com/4oa5br
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Oct 13, 2008 - 11:19pm PT
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Go windproof.
Colibri has a nice catalog.
Bic gets the flint wheel wet and your screwed for 8 hours.
You can blow on it like Linda, your still gonna be a walkin jones.
http://www.elighters.com/colibri-lighters.html
I always carry 3 lighters, one for backup, and the other for....backup.
Only needed the third backup once, but hey, I'm jus sayin, you like being lame like george strait, or cool like Bob Marley?
Sure, I wear JC Penny cut rate casuals and work Wall Street.
Got short hair and glasses too.
I am a cool college grad with a degree in Advanced Ignorance.
Got two beautiful kids and a white picket fence.
Drive a Big Mexican Weiner, and drink white wine with fish, red with beef. Always.
Just an American Capitalist doing what mom and dad wanted.
Frequently.
Barf out, man.
Spark me up.
"All my ex's live in Texas"
What a line, soo funny!
Ah George, cut it out, your killin me, man!
Not.
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Ksolem
Trad climber
Monrovia, California
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Jan 14, 2012 - 11:03pm PT
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Overheard today at New Jack City:
I could get this one if it were indoors!
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Mtnmun
Trad climber
Top of the Mountain Mun
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Jan 14, 2012 - 11:19pm PT
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After hiking to Outer Mongolia in JT and entering the final boulders.
B: "You have the rope right?"
MTNMUN: No, I reply, I have the gear, you have the rope."
B: You said you have everything.
Mtnmun: I have all the gear, do I look like your Sherpa? You don't have the rope?
B: Oh sheet.
It was a pleasant hike. LOL
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Ihateplastic
Trad climber
It ain't El Cap, Oregon
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Jan 14, 2012 - 11:59pm PT
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"that can't be a route, there aren't any bolts"
I could get this one if it were indoors!
Climbing has changed SŲ Much!
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happiegrrrl
Trad climber
www.climbaddictdesigns.com
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Jan 15, 2012 - 12:08am PT
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At Lost City: Heard a guy trying to impress the hot girl in the group, upon getting back to the car, with...
"You're doing really well, but you tend to over-crimp on your hand jams."
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philo
Trad climber
Somewhere halfway over the rainbow
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Jan 15, 2012 - 12:49am PT
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OOOOPS!
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Macronut
Trad climber
Fresno, Ca
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Jan 15, 2012 - 12:49am PT
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Stuck at a belay station on Cathedral peak with some blowhard telling me every line of b.s. He could come up with I think. I was afraid my shoes might slip on the next pitch. Most memorable "I was gonna go to med school but I was too smart to get in.". One my worst days in the mountains stuck on a beautiful piece of granite with a bunch of yahoos. I later came to a belay with a guy in aviators and a members only jacket complaining the whole time with that being his first time outdoor climbing.
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TomCochrane
Trad climber
Santa Cruz Mountains and Monterey Bay
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Jan 15, 2012 - 01:09am PT
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Hans to Yuji as they stride rapidly past me down the road from their car towards setting a new speed record on The Nose:
"Do you have the rope?"
"No, don't you have the rope?"
(the rope is sitting on top of their car behind them)
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mucci
Trad climber
The pitch of Bagalaar above you
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Jan 15, 2012 - 01:21am PT
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-I'm just going to cut this MF!!!
-NOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo
-Pigs really do fly....
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Ryan Tetz
Trad climber
Flagstaff, AZ
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Jan 15, 2012 - 06:50pm PT
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Clifton, Maine. Noob belayer and sketched out 5.9 leader on runout:
"Watch me here!"
"You want me to pull down on the rope now!?" As he starts pulling down on the rope with both hands from the ground
"God damn it stop stop WTF don't pull me!"
We cracked up for about 20 minutes watching these guys.
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AP
Trad climber
Calgary
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Jan 15, 2012 - 07:27pm PT
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I was soloing the Kain route on Bugaboo Spire many years ago and encountered an Alpine Club of Canada party at the crux pitch, a very exposed 5.6 slabby thing. One party had just finished leading the pitch the second said I could climb through. On the next pitch I encountered the trip leader who started to give me sh#t and said something like "you could have fallen and pulled one of the roped climbers off" I encountered the guide on the next pitch who was totally cool and asked if I had considered guiding
Background for those Americans: The ACC usually has a senior club leader and a certified guide in a group. The senior leaders are sometimes dolts with no ability who get to play big man and impress the young climbers. Maybe I ruined his dream climb.
Stupid thing I said once at the top of a fierce looking pitch that turned out to be OK "piece of cake" My belayer thought I said "take" and started pulling in the rope.
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snowhazed
Trad climber
Oaksterdam, CA
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Jan 15, 2012 - 08:53pm PT
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At lover's leap, 2 pitches up and one route over the leader yells (among other things)
"F*%k you bitch! This relationship is over!!!"
hahahahahahahaha- didn't wait to see if she killed him....
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bvb
Social climber
flagstaff arizona
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Jan 15, 2012 - 09:12pm PT
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Well known SoCal climber, after blowing off the same boulder problem for the umpteenth time: "It's a trivial move, I'm just cranking into it wrong."
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bvb
Social climber
flagstaff arizona
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Jan 15, 2012 - 09:47pm PT
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"I think this thing would be easier in EB's." -- Moi, bvb, circa 2001, after failing miserably on some Mike Call microedgefest.
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sac
Trad climber
Sun Coast B.C.
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Jan 15, 2012 - 09:50pm PT
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KEEP ON ROCKIN' IN THE FREE WORLD!!!
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bvb
Social climber
flagstaff arizona
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Jan 15, 2012 - 10:01pm PT
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Nah, I had all those "Lance's Scary Face" probs at 5 mile dialed. This was upcanyon just a bit from cabbage patch, I think. Don't remember the name. And it WOULD have been doable in EB's, Godammit!
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briham89
Trad climber
los gatos. ca
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Jan 15, 2012 - 10:42pm PT
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Climbing at beaver street wall in sf i overheard one climber giving a belay lesson to a noob. Both of them were stoned out of their minds. The noob was belaying the other guy with an atc and i was watching him belay...he was so high he had no idea what he was doing. the climber kept saying take and he would feed out slack... I finally went over to the guy and backed him up (held the brake end). When the climber fell the rope went flying out of the belayer's hand and i was luckily there to grab the rope. Beaver st isn't that tall, but an unlucky fall from that and I could have watched him die if i didn't back up his stoned partner...
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Josh Higgins
Trad climber
San Diego
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Jan 16, 2012 - 12:45am PT
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At the gym I climb and teach at, I was starting to show someone how to climb the offwidth/squeeze chimney feature. Some n00b scoffs and says to me, "That's not a route." Good times...
Josh
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Lasti
Trad climber
Budapest
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Jan 16, 2012 - 07:51am PT
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This is not meant to be self-aggrandizing, but it somehow always warms my heart...
Used to be condemned to Brussels, a city with no rock for miles, had to get my plastic-pulling on. Teamed up with a few of the local gym rats, who were great guys by the way, but had been climbing indoors for 90% of their time for too long.
Long story short they climbed HARD in the gym. I'm talking warming up on stuff I could perhaps finish on a good day and moving on to stuff that I just walked pass in disgust. 1-2 number grades above me. Then we went bouldering to Fontainebleau on a weekend, and finally, I could enjoy myself properly. Outside they were flailing and failing on easyish problems, while I was happily cruising all around them.
Stupid remark came at the end of the day:
"You should climb more indoors."
KNOTT!
Lasti
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Tony Bird
climber
Northridge, CA
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Jan 16, 2012 - 08:02am PT
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hollering "slack" can mean "take in the slack" or "give me some slack". best to get that straight before you begin climbing. so a friend of mine thought he had that all worked out and got into a runout problem on a windy day and spontaneously hollered "f*#k!", at which his belayer queried, "slack?"
JT gets weird in the summertime. HVCG is taken over by german tourists and locals from 29 trying to get away from their heat. strange groups of people come out from ghettos and reptilian lairs on friday nights.
picking a campsite becomes a real crapshoot. try to camp next to german tourists. they clam up into their air-conditioned touramerica RVs shortly after sunset and drive off early the next morning.
so these kids with license plates from all over the u.s. and canada converge on the site next to me and get a huge bonfire going. they make their own music, which i'd ordinarily be inclined to join in with, but it isn't joinable music, it's stuff they're apparently practicing to make it big with in hollywood. about midnight, a stentorian voice: "what's up, california desert?!"
it was an all-nighter. the next morning two males reptiles and one female from this gang have hunkered down to a soul-baring chat. she asks one of the guys, in a voice from the bottom of her heart, "so, would you really f*#k your mother?"
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Sioux Juan
Big Wall climber
Costa mesa
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Jan 16, 2012 - 08:28am PT
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belays on .....climb when ready.....while anchord to the rap bolts on j-tree's toe jam
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Marlow
Sport climber
OSLO
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Jan 16, 2012 - 08:34am PT
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An excuse
"I didn't fall, my foot just slipped off."
Direction
Belayer: "Lift you left foot!"
The climber starts lifting...
Belayer: "No, no... not that one, the other left foot."
Anchoring
Climber after toproping a route: "This anchor ain't done right."
Does the anchor "right" and leans back.
Off he goes, falling 10 meters screaming, stops 1 meter over the ground held by the bolt below.
The first two just funny, the third one more stooped.
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steelmnkey
climber
Vision man...ya gotta have vision...
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Jan 19, 2012 - 08:30am PT
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Heard a girl at the gym last night admonishing her mother (?) about not "short-roping" her just before she tied in and toproped a route.
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