Discussion Topic |
|
This thread has been locked |
nature
climber
Flagstaff, AZ
|
|
|
Jan 12, 2005 - 09:24pm PT
|
BURT IS NOT TROLL YOU SISSYBOY!!!
|
|
matty
Trad climber
valencia, CA
|
|
|
Jan 12, 2005 - 09:33pm PT
|
BURT-
PERHAPS YOU SHOULD CLIMB THE "TROLL WALL". THEN IF YOU ARE CALLED A TROLL YOU CAN PROUDLY AGREE!!!
MATT
|
|
Flash
Ice climber
|
|
|
Jan 13, 2005 - 01:59am PT
|
From what I have read around the net...kodos kicks everybody's butt! Don't even try...
|
|
Burt Bronson
climber
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Jan 13, 2005 - 10:26am PT
|
WALLY, BURT BRONSON HERE.
WHERE THE $^@# WERE YOU? I AM GOING UP THE WALL SOLO. IT'S NOW OFFICIALLY OVER.
BURT BRONSON
TRUELY, THE LAST BASTION OF THE SERIOUS HARD MAN
|
|
nature
climber
Flagstaff, AZ
|
|
|
Jan 13, 2005 - 10:32am PT
|
BURT, THE WALL(Y)STER HERE,
DON'T SPRAY IN PUBLIC WHEN YOU STAND ME UP SAYING "WHERE WAS I?". WHERE WERE YOU BUDDY? I WAS THERE. BEEN THERE. AM *STILL* THERE WAITING. YOUR HAM AND RYE WAS GOING TO WASTE. BY 2AM I HAD TO EAT IT TO NOT WASTE IT. WASTING FOOD MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A FEWL. REMEMBER! I'M VEGAN. I ATE HAM JUST TO MAKE YOU NOT LOOK LIKE A FEWL. THAT'S WHAT BUDDIES ARE FOR. HEAD ON OVER. LIKE I SAID, I'M STILL HERE AND I'M STILL BYING.
I ALWAYS COVER FOR YOU AND NOW YOU TREAT ME LIKE THIS IN PUBLIC NONETHELESS. I GUESS I'M USE TO IT. IT'LL NEVER BE OVER. DON'T FORGET WHAT HAPPENED IN THE ANTARCTIC. REMEMBER YOUR PINKY FINGER. SEE YOU SOON.
MUCH LOVE,
WALLY- I BEEN DRINKING NOT LONG ENOUGH - JOHNSTON
|
|
Burt Bronson
climber
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Jan 13, 2005 - 11:24am PT
|
W, BB HERE.
ON WALL NOW. KISS ASS. NEAR TOP. JUST FINISHED BISMARK PITCH. COOKED DEAD BIRD WITH CHEATER BLOCK AT TOP. PITCH IS NO GIVE ME ANYMORE.
BB,
T.L.B.O.T.S.H.M
--------
Sent from my wireless NooBerry
|
|
nature
climber
Flagstaff, AZ
|
|
|
Jan 16, 2005 - 12:39pm PT
|
BURT, BIG-WALL(Y) JOHNSTON HERE,
KUDOS ON THE CLEANUP PROJECT. GOOD WORK ON THE BIRD KILL. YOU'VE ALWAYS HAD A WAY WITH BEASTIES.
JUST RETURNED FROM BAFFIN. SO THERE IS NO SUNLIGHT THESE DAYS. THAT DIDN'T STOP ME. NEW 4000 FOOT FREE SOLO ESTABLISHED. CALLED
GRIN-AND-BARE-ASS-IT (VIII 5.12D+) [DON'T ASK]. NO HOLES - NO BELAYS.
GLAD WE ARE OVER IT. I'VE BEEN HELD BACK FOR FAR TOO LONG BY YOUR HARDMANLINESS. GOT A HOTTIE BELAY SLAVE NOW (FELGA FROM FINLAND KEPT ME WARM IN BAFFIN).
HAVE A TA TA DAY. I'M HEADING TO NORTHERN RUSSIA TO CHECK OUT NEWLY DISCOVERED 3000 METER OVERHANGING SANDSTONE. JUST MY FORTE.
WALLY
|
|
Karl Baba
Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
|
|
|
Jan 16, 2005 - 02:35pm PT
|
You supertopo losers have obviously been suckered. I have news for you!
I HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE THAT MR. BURT BRONSON NEVER ACTUALLY WENT TO BAFFIN!!
or if he did, that he is exaggerating his ascent there.
Evidence number 1
HE DIDN'T SPELL "TRADITIONAL" CORRECTLY IN HIS TRIP REPORT!
How could a truly trad icon do that?
Evidence number 2
He rated the Aid section of the route A5++
Everybody knows that ++ isn't acceptable as a rating. You go from A5, to A5+, to A6. This kind of flamboyant improvisation of climbing nomenclature is NOT TRADTIONAL!
Evidence number 3
His calculations of the size of the wall are obviously exaggerated. If a 17,000 foot wall overhung by 9000 feet the great mass of it would cause fracture lines in the stone that would make such a precipice very short lived and, even it it did exist, it would be A6 and not A5++....IDIOT!!!
I believe that MR. BRONSON may be a victim of delusions caused by masculine buildup brought on by the inability to exercise his usual lovemaking routine (because of frostbite danger)
The clue was when he wrote.
"MY TIME SPENT IN BAFFIN ALLOWED ME TO CONTEMPLATE THE FINER THINGS IN LIFE, SEX, CLIMBING PARTNERS, AND BOOZE"
Since he was solo for that long, I can only assume he consolidated all those finer things into one solo party until it got too cold to risk snake bite. (for noobs, snake bite is like frost bite but it afflicts the trouser snake.) Madness soon resulted. Also his CAPS LOCK KEY SUFFERED FREEZING ASS WELL!!
I hope this clears some of the confusion, and that Burt will wake up someday and rest on his REAL ACCOMPLISHMENTS without all the manly chest beating.
Humbly
Karl
|
|
nature
climber
Flagstaff, AZ
|
|
|
Jan 20, 2005 - 04:00pm PT
|
KARL, BIG-WALL(Y)-JOHNSTON HERE,
HOW COULD YOU FABRICATE SUCH LIES? HOW COULD YOU DOUBT IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM THE PURE ETHICAL AND CLIMBING SUPREMACY OF BURT BRONSON? I'M ASHAMED OF YOU. THESE ARE LIES. WHAT IS YOUR AGENDA WITH THIS SLANDER?
BEFORE HE MAKES YOU DO IT I SUGGEST YOU FIND THAT HOLE AND CRAWL BACK IN.
GOOD DAY... CARRY ON.
WALLY
|
|
Burt Bronson
climber
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Jan 20, 2005 - 04:14pm PT
|
WALL(Y), BURT BRONSON HERE.
THANKS FOR GETTING MY BACK. I COULD USE SOME SERIOUS HELP WITH THE NUTS!!!! THREAD. NO ONE'S BITING. MAY HAVE TO GET MY OLD FRIEND E. B. SHOE TO LOG ON IF I CAN GET HIM OFF OF THOSE PORN SITES LONG ENOUGH.
BURT BRONSON
THE LAST BASTION OF THE SERIOUS HARDMEN
|
|
marky
climber
|
|
how did I miss this shitt?
Awesome work, Burt.
Your fellow hardman,
marky.
|
|
Brunosafari
Boulder climber
Redmond, OR
|
|
Oh Bur-urt! Time to come home! Your dinner is ready! Spaghettios!
|
|
Hardman Knott
Gym climber
Muir Woods National Monument, Mill Valley, Ca
|
|
On Jan 11, 2005, 09:14am, up2top wrote:
Sadly, this BURT is an imposter. Will the real BURT BRONSON please stand up?
Ed
Ed nailed it.
Copycats and plagiarists SERIOUSly suck.
|
|
MisterE
Social climber
My Inner Nut
|
|
Keep trying, Burt. You'll never match this guy:
|
|
Hardman Knott
Gym climber
Muir Woods National Monument, Mill Valley, Ca
|
|
|
|
MisterE
Trad climber
One Step Beyond!
|
|
|
Jun 27, 2009 - 09:42pm PT
|
Bump for The Most Interesting Man In The World!!!666
|
|
Captain...or Skully
Social climber
North of the Owyhees
|
|
|
Jun 27, 2009 - 10:50pm PT
|
Burt is my bitch.
|
|
L
climber
Just takin' the long way home...
|
|
|
Jun 27, 2009 - 11:35pm PT
|
I never knew who BURT was--somehow missed his threads in the past. What a funny guy! Loved the name of his Baffin route...hope he's put up more in a similar vein.
Hardman--e-thugs is hysterical!
|
|
Fluoride
Trad climber
Hollywood, CA
|
|
|
Jun 28, 2009 - 02:12pm PT
|
Back off Skully...Burt is MY bitch!!!
God, he's such a man. Why can't all men be as badass as Burt.
Sigh.............
|
|
|
SuperTopo on the Web
|
Let us know!