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chum
Trad climber
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Jul 10, 2009 - 04:56am PT
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This story isn't about pre Astroman's History but its a good one and I just can't resist.
I'm from Tennessee. The flatlands of Middle Tennessee to be exact. Raised in the strip mall landscape of Nashville the "music city." Far from anything as grand as the East Face of Washington Column. I started climbing on very humble and unassuming rocks. Comparatively tiny. When I heard of this route called Astroman my life changed suddenly and had purpose it had never known before.
Established by supermen with names like Harding, Pratt, Kauk, Long, and Bachar, Astroman was something important and worth fighting for. Something big, amazing, and beyond anything I'd seen, heard of, or even contemplated in my life. I decided that I had to someday climb this special route established by legends, thereby elevating my own uneventful existence.
After the seed was planted every climbing day was met with Astroman in mind. I had to get at least 10 pitches in since Astroman was around 10 pitches. I had to be ready for the "Boulder" pitch, the "Enduro" corner. The "Slot"... I sought out objectives that seemed like they would give me the experience necessary to climb this hallowed route. My life had never known such purpose.
After years of preparation, I felt ready. Only problem...I had no partner. Nobody I knew, NOBODY, was interested in climbing this thing. Coming from the South, Astroman seemed absolutely terrifying. Even the best climbers I knew had no interest. I wasn't too worried since I figured Camp 4 was full of climbers who were as ready and stoked to get on the thing. In May of 1996 at least, this wasn't exactly the case.
With only a week to spend in the Valley I set off from the South to meet Astroman head on. Traveling with a group of climbers I spent my summers working with, there was an excitement within our group that sensed this was a special trip. We were all fully stoked. Upon arriving I immediately started my search for a partner. I posted notes on the Camp 4 board, walked from site to site, and even inquired at YMS as to how much a guide would cost for a trip up the Column. I found no one. Dejected, I spent climbing days getting spanked on routes like Cookie Monster and Twilight Zone wondering if I even had what it takes. Worse yet, I might not even find out.
With only two days left in the trip I was sitting in Camp 4 as a friend gave me the blow by blow of his most recent climb up "So and So" and how amazing it was and "blah, blah, blah, blah." The end seemed near but for a glimpse I caught of a long haired man striding through camp with an aura of BAD ASS that I quickly noted. Ignoring my friends story I turned my attention to this man and realized I recognized him. Alex Huber had just freed the Salathe, this guy looked alot like him. Could it be his brother...Hmm
Maybe he'd be up for it.
I quickly interrupted my pals story and before I could get nervous about it I walked right up to the guy and asked him point blank. "Hello, I'm Chum. Would like climb Astroman?" "Sure, for me izz juss training." "Great, tomorrow?" "Jess, vee, vill, do zeess." Holy sh#t, it was on. Just like that.
The next morning we got up before dawn and loaded up our gear in a really "Vintage" car that was being loaned to him by a Valley local. What I remember most is that it had a push button transmission and didn't sound like it was in the prime of its life. In fact it didn't really want to start. We both got out of the car, opened up the hood. Looked at the engine, looked at each other. Realized neither of knew WTF to do. We got back in, and the car started right up. YEAH! Let's go...before it dies again.
What can I say about climbing Astroman that's not been said already. Its everything and more I guess. I climbed well. Didn't onsight but it didn't matter, neither did Thomas. We had a killer time. Besides, the Slot's hard! Getting to the top was one of the most satisfying moments of my life. Then it got better.
Returning to the car we were both pretty worked. We only took 1 liter of water for us both. We were ready to chill out. Thomas got the car started somehow but we quickly realized it wouldn't drive forward. He'd try to pull it forward and it'd stall out. But backing it up to get out of the way of traffic it did fine. Thomas was growing impatient. He sat contemplative for a few moments, then with a revelation not unlike Newton getting bonked by a falling apple, he declared with a twinkle in his eye, "I go backwards."
Suddenly, we're pulling out of the Awahnee, BACKWARDS. Have you ever tried to drive backwards for any considerable length? Have you ever done it in 30mph traffic? AFTER, CLIMBING ASTROMAN? Well, we did. Thomas' driving like a man possesed, I'm trying to help navigate and wave to all the friendly tourists who were totally freaking out. Binoculars trained on the walls bowed down to a bigger spectacle racing along in the middle of tourist traffic. "You're crazy!!, You're crazy!!" I clearly remember hearing. Sure, crazy like a fox we were.
Years later I bumped into Thomas around a campfire in Camp 4. I asked him if he remembered me from the climb and "drive." His eyes lit up. "I REMEMBER!", he said. "My friends didn't believe me but now you can tell them it was true." It was true. It was one of the best days of my life. I felt like that day was a gift from the Yosemite climbing gods or something. I've been back to the route several times since. In fact I've had a few trips up it that are up there as "best days" of my life. I hope I can always go back to it.
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S.Powers
Social climber
Jtree, now in Alaska
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Jul 10, 2009 - 07:03am PT
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post bump to a great man, and to get rid of Onyx the A-hole.
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426
Sport climber
Buzzard Point, TN
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Jul 10, 2009 - 01:33pm PT
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Mark "We tried to get it out but for the rest of the route my eye would tear up anytime it felt like it and I'd barely be able to see.
I went to the infirmary afterwards and then took something out of my eye. I walked around camp for the next few days with a patch over my eye. "
Was that with Max? Or perhaps that same thing happened to Max on Sea of Dreams???? I think i remember a story a bit with rust growing in an eye and one Dr. Dick Long from Carson City telling you guys what a smart move it was to descend?
Do elaborate
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Rhodo-Router
Gym climber
a greasy pinscar near you
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Jul 10, 2009 - 01:37pm PT
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Awesome story chum!
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Double D
climber
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Jul 10, 2009 - 02:24pm PT
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Chum...that story "rocks!"
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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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Jul 10, 2009 - 10:58pm PT
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From MOUNTAIN MAGAZINE :
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Jul 11, 2009 - 01:23am PT
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I remember a certain person with the initials RC who liked to tilt the vending machines...
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Russ Walling
Gym climber
Poofter's Froth, Wyoming
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Jul 11, 2009 - 03:24am PT
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Great story Chum and Mark!
I know a guy with the initials RW that used to rock the machines until they threw up. But one night, a particular machine got the best of the "rock star", toppled, and pinned him under it, perhaps with even an injury or two. Maybe he will drift by with the straight poop on the incident.
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Mark Hudon
Trad climber
Hood River, OR
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 11, 2009 - 11:29am PT
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The eye incident was with Max on the Mescalito, It happened on the second day but we climbed three more days and finished the route. Two years later I dropped a big rock on my finger that ripped my finger nail off on the PO (again with Max). We had to rap off after that one.
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chum
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
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Jul 11, 2009 - 01:48pm PT
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Thanks Russ, one of my all time favorite climbing stories is "Miles Glorious" I read that not long after I started climbing. Totally inspired me to find some mandrake root and head down to the Tanks.
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BASE104
climber
An Oil Field
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Jul 11, 2009 - 09:30pm PT
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Chum's story about driving home in reverse made me spew beer.
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dogtown
climber
Cheyenne,Wyoming
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Jul 12, 2009 - 01:45am PT
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The Dream! The best line ever.
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David Wilson
climber
CA
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A couple photos from my attempt with Kike Arnal in 1989. Went back with Jose Luis in 93 and did the route. Jose led the slot and I made a valiant effort to squeeze through but eventually ended up chicken winging on the outside with left side in....gotta get back up there....
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Berk
Mountain climber
USA
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Sep 13, 2009 - 10:00pm PT
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Bump....great post.
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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I was recently doing some research, and discovered that the correct name for the climb seems to be Astro Man, not Astroman. The name of the Hendrix song was Astro Man, and the route was called that in the 1976, 1982, and 1987 guidebooks. In the 1994 (Reid) guidebook it became Astroman, which is what SuperTopo calls it.
http://lyrics.wikia.com/The_Jimi_Hendrix_Experience:Astro_Man
Plus it seems a good thread to bump.
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Rastro, Man!
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Climbing dropout
climber
British Columbia
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I am certain Hamish Fraser from Squamish would have onsighted it, no falls, in 1988, leading every pitch. Astroman was well within his capabilities to flash.
What year is Mark Hudons Mountain article from ?
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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My fake little brother has climbed it twice, leading all the pitches. I think another, similar ascent is in the offing after a maybe 20' year haitus. That's just the tip of the iceburg on this story....
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Patrick Oliver
Boulder climber
Fruita, Colorado
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Aug 18, 2011 - 12:23am PT
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You might want to read the accounts in Wizards of Rock, written
by Largo and Bachar....
Lots of long, difficult free climbs around or soon after that time,
in other parts of the country and world..., but this was
a great project and striking line. It was no big surprise that
it would catch the eye of some of Yosemite's best, as a
free climbing possibility.
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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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Jun 20, 2012 - 07:55pm PT
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On the last pitch, the climber BUMPS from an undercling to the final crunchy jugs.
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SuperTopo on the Web
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Let us know!