Discussion Topic |
|
This thread has been locked |
| Messages 1 - 70 of total 70 in this topic |
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Topic Author's Original Post - Jul 24, 2007 - 11:57pm PT
|
WARNING
Can't believe I got suckered into another one. A double sawbuck for a DVD and it turns out to be another bad joke.
I just watched The Contract, buying it on faith since I'm OK with John Cusack and Morgan Freeman and the director had done an interesting film about a woman I knew and even picked up an oscar for another, Tender Mercies.
Clearly neither he nor the writers know much about climbing (or weapons and tactics, or helicopters, or tracking, or ,.....)
Suffice to say that just like the Brangelina lame-ass spy movie this is another one I would be as likely to recommend as another Mel Gibson film.
Lets see, hall of shame:
Cliffhanger
Vertical Limit
K2
The Contract
May I have the envelope please?
|
|
Russ Walling
Social climber
Out on the sand.... man.....
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:02am PT
|
James Bond on that conglomerate rock... beating in the pin, mysterious belay, bad edit on the pin pulling.... Rick Sylvester (?) taking that giant whipper......
|
|
Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:13am PT
|
Most films are as phony as a $3 bill when it comes to how they depict climbing. Those with a semblance of a legitimate portrayal are mostly European.
But then, most Hollywood movies are ahistorical claptrap, too.
Little wonder, given there's such a disconnect between reality and some of the great American public. And little George, who believes what he wants to believe, truth be damned.
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 25, 2007 - 12:16am PT
|
Tim,
when is the last time you went to a climber's funeral and they lowered him into the ground with black ropes?
|
|
Chaz
Trad climber
So. Cal.
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:21am PT
|
Hollywood does a piss-poor job of realisticly portraying anything.
Why should climbing be any different?
|
|
nature
climber
Flagstaff, AZ
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:29am PT
|
Though I must agree with Anders, in that context, it, to this day, amazes me that the Eiger Sanction was pretty damn good especially considering the time it was produced.
|
|
mojede
Trad climber
Butte, America
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:41am PT
|
I have a grainy VHS of "The Climb" about Herman Buhl--it's actually pretty well done. That also goes for "Touching The Void"--though neither of these got hyped by Hollywood. Maybe that's the ticket.
|
|
nature
climber
Flagstaff, AZ
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:42am PT
|
Should not Touching the Void be considered more of a documentary than a Hollywood film? (it was a good one for sure).
|
|
Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:43am PT
|
Some climbing documentaries and biographies are ok, and a few are quite good. I wasn't counting them.
|
|
sister mercy
Trad climber
Eastside
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:48am PT
|
how about Clint Eastwood in "the Eiger Sanction" Love the part when he is chasing the Indian girl...
|
|
Gunks Guy
Trad climber
Rhinebeck, NY
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:54am PT
|
Haven't seen Vertical limit yet but I'd bet this is worse:
Take It To The Limit
http://imdb.com/title/tt0251422/
I bought it because of the picture and could barely sit through it.
|
|
mojede
Trad climber
Butte, America
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:55am PT
|
Nature, you may have a point, but TTV had actors, thus disqualifying it from documentary status. Agreed, though, that it isn't "Hollywood" either.
|
|
mojede
Trad climber
Butte, America
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 01:03am PT
|
I don't want to be buried, but if it happened I'd want all my gear in there with me so that all of my dirtbag pirate friends/partners would have a "booty challenge" to get to the goods.
|
|
paganmonkeyboy
Trad climber
the blighted lands of hatu
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 01:03am PT
|
vertical limit !
last wednesday in maple, with d skating off dusty cobbles while sis was belaying, i found myself yelling 'look at you ! yer at yer vertical limit !'
she laughed and popped. it was a beautiful thing...
'throw me your knife...' david carradine's finest hour ;-)
i dug the eiger sanction. i remember seeing it as a little kid and thinking 'i gotta climb...but not with these people...'
'You're limping, Ben...'
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 25, 2007 - 01:06am PT
|
Lets hope thats the only booty challenge they go for.
|
|
mojede
Trad climber
Butte, America
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 01:10am PT
|
Hear hear, Ron. They ain't THOSE type of pirates.....
I hope not, anyways !
|
|
nature
climber
Flagstaff, AZ
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 01:24am PT
|
HO MAN!!! i remember seeing it as a little kid and thinking 'i gotta climb...but not with these people...' No wonder I'm your drummer OR your my geeetar player!! I thought pretty much the same thing.
I'm searching my memory banks but the OJ and Vodka is blocking out - did Werner have something to do with this flick? If it wasn't Werner which "real" climbers from back in the day was it?
|
|
the Fet
Knackered climber
A bivy sack in the secret campground
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 01:26am PT
|
I can't believe you are disparaging a movie that produced one of the greatest climbing quotes ever.
"You did the right thing to cut the rope. Any good climber would have."
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 25, 2007 - 01:26am PT
|
The thing is I or anyone of thousands of people could have easily suggested realistic alternatives to accomplish the same storytelling.
For example, in The Contract they want to establish a physical barrier between a group being pursued by another group in a wilderness setting.
Simple, one of the characters could have pulled a rope out of his pack and they could have made a 40' rappel.
Instead you have a 15 year old kid say 'we can climb down here. I did it with ropes on an outward bound course', and in the next shot you see the three of them third classing side by side down a fake cliff (side by side because naturally all routes on a cliff of uniform steepness have the same difficulty).
Oh, and did I mention its raining?
Oh, and did I mention that one of them is Morgan Friggin White-haired Freeman?
Oh, and did I mention that he is naughty so the other two have to keep a gun on him while downclimbing side by side?
Sheesh!
|
|
paganmonkeyboy
Trad climber
the blighted lands of hatu
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 01:32am PT
|
what about the climbing scene in Capricorn One ? where the guy is telling himself the joke ?
So how's mom ?
well, mom chased a squirrel up onto the roof...
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 25, 2007 - 01:34am PT
|
Sam Waterston.
Cracks me up to see OJ in that one.
|
|
mojede
Trad climber
Butte, America
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 01:36am PT
|
Who lasted the longest before getting caught in that one, James Brolin ?
|
|
paganmonkeyboy
Trad climber
the blighted lands of hatu
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 01:43am PT
|
Anderl Meier: You're very good. I have really enjoyed climbing with you.
Dr. Jonathan Hemlock: We'll make it.
Anderl Meier: I don't think so. But we shall continue with style.
whole page of quotes - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072926/quotes
and remember when they were all looking at that pin ? like yeah, that's gonna save us...
classic...
(nature, i gotta move to flagpole i tell ya...)
|
|
Jaybro
Social climber
The West
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 02:51am PT
|
Locker, check out the 2nd post, oh that was you, there was nothing left to be said, er how much for approach souls (flip, not mis, spelling) on birkenstocks?
|
|
Standing Strong
Trad climber
we can dance if we want to
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 02:51am PT
|
god bam hollywood!
|
|
Standing Strong
Trad climber
eternal bam nation
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 02:57am PT
|
bam the wabbit.
|
|
TYeary
Mountain climber
Calif.
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 10:07am PT
|
My vote for worst is Cliffhanger; a total piece of sh*t, as a climbing movie and a film in general.
My vote for best is Touching the Void. Could be considered a docu-drama, but it's still a zilloin times better than cliffsh*ter.
As a non Hollywood movie, how 'bout, Solo, by the late Mike Hoover?
Haven't seen it? You should check it out.
Tony
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 25, 2007 - 10:25am PT
|
When it comes to Hollywood actually doing it right I always like to plug Five Days One Summer.
Early alpinism technique faithfully depicted.
AND Sean Connery!
|
|
wootles
climber
Gamma Quadrant
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 10:36am PT
|
I had the opportunity to purchase THE prop bolt gun from Cliffhanger. It was at this movie memorabilia shop in FL (don't ask me what I was doing in FL, the place is a shite-hole swamp). They wanted $450 for it. I remember thinking for that kind of money I could buy a Hilti that could actually drill into rock. The thing was wood and plastic all painted up and had a self-drilling drop-in type bolt with a Metolius hanger glued to it. It was on display right next to Cher's ski boots.
edit: I didn't seize the opportunity. Too bad, I imagine it would take a good price on ebay.
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 25, 2007 - 10:47am PT
|
If its the real deal it was made by Jim Bosse.
|
|
M.Tea
Trad climber
Utah
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 11:11am PT
|
Guns of Navarone was another early one with some lame climbing scenes.
Though Vertical limit takes it all for cheese factor...
"Amatuers 12 O'clock!"
|
|
sister mercy
Trad climber
Eastside
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 01:59pm PT
|
You've got to go pre-Hollywood, to the German (silent) Bergfilm (mountain movie--an entire genre!) They're awesome: Leni Riefenstahl + Luis Trenker, "the HOly Mountain," "The White Hell of Piz Palue" and many others. No stunts there, just the real thing.
|
|
Patrick Sawyer
climber
Originally California now Ireland
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 03:10pm PT
|
Gotta give Eastwood credit for learning to climb and doing his climbing scenes, and it was an entertaining film. (That's a thumbs up for The Eiger Sanction, though of course this thread is about thumb's down.)
|
|
Tom
Big Wall climber
San Luis Obispo CA
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 03:40pm PT
|
James Bond on that conglomerate rock... beating in the pin, mysterious belay, bad edit on the pin pulling.... Rick Sylvester (?) taking that giant whipper......
For Your Eyes Only
Don't forget, he also placed a #3 Friend, and used his shoelaces to prusik up the rope after whipping.
Vertical Limit is my favorite Three Stooges episode. Makes Cliffhanger look like an Huber documentary.
|
|
dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 03:52pm PT
|
Yes that was Rick Sylvester in the Bond film.
My vote for worst is cliff hanger, because of the harness buckle made of chewing gum, among others.
|
|
wootles
climber
Gamma Quadrant
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 04:10pm PT
|
There was also the episode of Seinfeld where they went rock climbing.
Has anyone mentioned the Mission Impossible scene with the sideways and downward dyno? Classic!
One of the best (worst) part of Vertical Limit was the sound effects. There were snow climbing scenes that sounded more like a sword fight. whaSHING!
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 25, 2007 - 04:16pm PT
|
Wasn't the roof on Solo Bishop's Balcony?
No way MI2 was a Hollywood murder. That dyno was REAL man!
In fact I happen to know the macho stud that first soloed that rock. God what a hardman!
|
|
Forest
Trad climber
Tucson, AZ
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 04:21pm PT
|
I think it just comes down to the fact that normal non-absurdly-inaccurate portrayals of climbing just aren't exciting enough for your average movie-goer. At least not in the hands of the hacks that make such moves these days.
Computer geeks find movie portrayals of computer stuff similarly frustrating. But I think it's the same problem. Poor ability on the part of the film-makers coupled with an activity that's generally just not all that exciting for the uninformed to watch.
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 25, 2007 - 05:25pm PT
|
I disagree Forest.
Its less forgivable than poor ability.
Its lack of effort.
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 25, 2007 - 06:46pm PT
|
Locker,
we're talking about the BAD ones (although considering my 5 days plug I'll let you go this time.)
What was the other one with the side by side climbing done on some desert chosspile and starring Rachel Ward?
|
|
Forest
Trad climber
Tucson, AZ
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 06:50pm PT
|
I disagree Forest.
Its less forgivable than poor ability.
Its lack of effort.
I'd say they don't even have the ability to *know* they're screwing it up, so I do't realyl know what to call that.
Other than crappy film making.
|
|
Donny... the OHHH!- Riginal
Sport climber
Lynda Carter's sock drawer
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 06:52pm PT
|
I saw this "Walker Texas Ranger" the other day where he was soloin' this vertical cliff in a river gorge in his cowboy boots. I think his point was that climbing a few hundred feet above the river allowed one the opportunity to jump into a passing raft, knocking out the criminal holding other rafters hostage. I recognized it because this is a pretty regular occurance for me.
|
|
Jaybro
Social climber
The West
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 06:59pm PT
|
I saw Mcloud (Dennis weaver) rap of a water tower on the tube, once.
|
|
Donny... the OHHH!- Riginal
Sport climber
Lynda Carter's sock drawer
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 07:05pm PT
|
All Hail Dennis Weaver!!!...just for Duel alone.
|
|
rectorsquid
climber
Lake Tahoe
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 07:18pm PT
|
Deliverance has a nice solo climbing scene. Jon Voit looks real tired getting up that cliff. I'd have to say it is not bad at all since there is only one guy and he doesn't have any equipment besides his bow and arrows. Hard for Hollywood to screw up a solo ascent. It also looks like the real thing (the rock) and not Hollywood plaster on a sound-stage.
But since we are voting for the worst climbing movie, I'll add my vote for V.L... "cut the rope... don't cut the rope... cut the rope...don't cut the rope..."
Dave
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 25, 2007 - 07:22pm PT
|
"That's no tube lady."
I suppose "Chuck Norris style climbing" deserves a thread of its own,...
(Forgive me, Yo.)
|
|
'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Oakville, Ontario, Canada, eh?
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 07:23pm PT
|
Tom - it was a #4 Friend. And check yer email, eh?
|
|
Jaybro
Social climber
The West
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 07:36pm PT
|
Why yes, Locker, as mentioned upthread, and on previous threads, I have seen in it, like it, etc. "You are correct" (to quote little big sis) it may very well be the best.
Step away from the glue.
"I'm going to bring out the piTONs"
I have a childhood memory of watching it (on tv?) with mom. The scene where Spencer Tracy gives hart™ a top rope shoulder belay comes on. My mom says, "if the young guy falls, he's gonna pull that little old man right off the mtn."
|
|
girasol
Trad climber
Colorado Springs, CO
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 07:47pm PT
|
I thought Touching the Void was excellent, almost a little "too real" at times. But I agree, that was more of a documentary.
I have to say I now know there are some other films I have to see, but I can't believe I sat through most of Limite Vertical a second time. I think it was just because I was testing my Spanish to see if I understood more of it than the first time when I accidentally saw it in Peru a few years ago.
Girasol
|
|
Senor Pinche Wey
Big Wall climber
OB
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 07:51pm PT
|
How about Grizzly Adams when he does a mysterious single rope rap to a ledge to save a stranded Grizzly cub. I always wondered how then got off that ledge.
That show had great mountain scenery in it though...Colorado?
|
|
Donny... the OHHH!- Riginal
Sport climber
Daisy Duke's Daisy Dukes
|
|
|
Jul 25, 2007 - 08:37pm PT
|
Hey Locker... what is "Step away from the glue"... from? I can't remember and it's plum botherin' me.
|
|
Charlie D.
Trad climber
Western Slope, Tahoe Sierra
|
|
|
Jul 26, 2007 - 12:20am PT
|
Ron I know you were after the real bad but I can't help but mention the 1959 classic "Third Man on the Mountain" with James MacArther.......it send my brother and I straight to the hardware store after the 25 cent Saturday matinee for some clothes line. There was something about those beautiful mountains, a beautiful girl and a mother begging her son not to climb! For those who have not seen it do so, it's available on Netflix........Berg Heil.
|
|
Robb
Social climber
Under a Big Sky
|
|
|
Jul 26, 2007 - 02:25am PT
|
Ron
You don't think they should drop by for a cold one?
|
|
GOclimb
Trad climber
Boston, MA
|
|
|
Jul 26, 2007 - 10:20am PT
|
Donny - yes! That's a great shot, I forgot about The Cliffs of Insanity in Princess Bride. What a classic movie.
GO
|
|
Donny... the OHHH!- Riginal
Sport climber
Daisy Duke's Daisy Dukes
|
|
|
Jul 26, 2007 - 10:28am PT
|
That's the only Princess Bride climbing shot I could find....I was really hopin' to find Andre the Giant scaling that cliff with that little "inconCEIVable" guy on his back.
|
|
Patrick Sawyer
climber
Originally California now Ireland
|
|
|
Jul 26, 2007 - 10:44am PT
|
Great post Donny.
Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Inigo Montoya: I donna suppose you could speed things up?
Westley: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.
Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Westley: That does put a damper on our relationship.
|
|
counterfeitfake
Trad climber
Seattle, Washington
|
|
|
Jul 26, 2007 - 12:45pm PT
|
Subzero.
Not only the worst climbing movie I've ever seen, but in the running for the worst movie I've ever seen.
Russian terrorists break into a secret UN installation and steal a glowing cube that controls a fleet of secret EMP satellites. While flying away they are shot down by the Russian government, and the wreckage lands on the peak of K2. The crash puts the remote control in doomsday mode and the satellites start firing (apparently EMP pulses don't just disable electronics, they blow them up).
So, with a deadline of 72 hours or so, the US government hires studly climber guy to assemble a crew of other studly climbers and climb the North Face of K2. To retrieve glowing cube and save the world. Of course some strangers are thrown onto the team and they're malicious. And everyone climbs with guns.
I won't spoil the ending for you except to say that it was a good thing they lugged the piton gun up there.
|
|
Pretty Much
climber
San Jose
|
|
|
Jul 26, 2007 - 01:48pm PT
|
I don't think anyone mentioned it here, but "Storm and Sorrow" is a great climing movie/documentary.
I may or may not have the only copy every produced - $3 at tower records.
Jeff
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 26, 2007 - 02:00pm PT
|
I think that Jello might have some comments about that one seeing as how he's depicted in it.
|
|
crunch
Social climber
CO
|
|
|
Jul 26, 2007 - 02:50pm PT
|
OK, so it's not Hollywood, and it's actually pretty damn good, especially for its time, but worth mentioning, as it's way off of most people's radar:
The Edge of The World
A British movie made in 1937, which has some hairy climbing sequences--no digital effects back then--on some wild Scottish sea cliffs.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0028818/
|
|
Ouch!
climber
|
|
|
Jul 26, 2007 - 03:20pm PT
|
Locker, I have seen The Mountain. I saw it in Montana when we only could get one snowy channel. I think I liked it. Especially the part where the cavalry arrived just before the buffalo were driven off the cliff.
|
|
Ouch!
climber
|
|
|
Jul 26, 2007 - 03:49pm PT
|
Remember the part where the guy says, "Turn the light off and I'll eat it", and she says, "Fool! You bite that lightbulb, you cut yo mouf".
I think she got rope burns from a bad belay. Dim bulb she was.
|
|
Ouch!
climber
|
|
|
Jul 26, 2007 - 03:55pm PT
|
Yeah, where he borrowed the jeep and was driving although he only had one arm. That was on Mt. Blackrock, I think.
|
|
Ouch!
climber
|
|
|
Jul 26, 2007 - 05:03pm PT
|
Maybe you're right, Locker. I may have been overcome by the fumes from that Elmer's Glue I was using that night.
|
|
LongAgo
Trad climber
|
|
|
Jul 26, 2007 - 05:13pm PT
|
Interesting Charlie D says a movie spurred him into starting to climb early on, complete with clothesline. Makes one wonder about the power of film to stoke passion for the mountains and interest in climbing.
As relayed on my web site introduction (tomhiggins.net), it was The White Tower (1950, Glen Ford, Claude Rains, etc.) which got me going. While only an OK movie, it had stunning shots of the alps and climbers in action there which inspired me to buy the first hemp rope, army surplus pitons and carabiners and head for Stony Point with friend Bud (Ivan) Couch.
For a time, we flopped around without the benefit of classes or books and somehow survived. Then, Bob Kamps came along one day, took us under his wing and the rest is, as they say, history.
Tom Higgins
LongAgo
|
|
mooser
Trad climber
seattle
|
|
|
Jul 26, 2007 - 05:15pm PT
|
I'm squarely with GunksGuy in the first 20 posts...if you haven't seen "Take It to the Limit," you haven't SEEN what can be done to climbing. It has pretty much maxed out the potential on that--especially when you consider what the particular rocks they filmed on (at Donner) are really like.
Possibly the best part (aside from where the rubber snake leaps out from a rock and bites the climbing bad-boy in the neck) is when the lead character sees the local climbing "hard-guy" working out on his climbing structure. NOT to be missed!! Rush to your local off, off, off-Hollywood and Vine video store, and snag a copy! Go! Scoot!!
|
|
Ouch!
climber
|
|
|
Jul 26, 2007 - 05:26pm PT
|
Hmmm! Actually Locker, I was gonna guess it was "The Gods Must Be crazy" or "Dracula VS Billy the Kid".
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 26, 2007 - 07:46pm PT
|
Even before I saw TGMBC I thought the Bushmen of the Kalahari were pretty cool in terms of surviving a harsh environment, but then I saw Anthony Bourdain visit and eat fire baked goat rectum and a lot of the romance went out of THAT lifestyle.
|
|
Domingo
Trad climber
Ann Arbor, MI
|
|
|
Jul 26, 2007 - 08:19pm PT
|
The Eiger Sanction is great, as is Scream of Stone.
|
|
| Messages 1 - 70 of total 70 in this topic |
|
SuperTopo on the Web
|
Let us know!