I'm in formicidae hell. (ot)


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Los Angeles
Topic Author's Original Post - Jul 20, 2007 - 11:54am PT
I walk into the laundry room. The BF is staring at our washing machine. "What the hell is he doing?" I think to myself. I look- there's and ENORMOUS line of black ants making their way in and out of the BLEACH DEPOSITORY on the washer.

The BF says: "WTF??" "Why are they going in there??"

Me: "There's only one explanation"

BF asks: "...and that is????"

Me: "Mad general"

The ants have laid siege to every inch of our home (inside and out) lately. The heat and extra dry weather has driven them insane. You can't stand in place for more than 5 minutes without the damn scouts climbing all over you.

They're everywhere. Worst I've ever seen.

The entire pantry had to be moved into the refrigerator. They were chewing through the cardboard to get at ...well.. anything.

They even go after water. Can't leave droplets in the sinks, and it's best to let the shower run for a minute before stepping in. The first blast usually has a handful of ants in it. Why the hell do they lurk in the shower head anyhow?

They're in our bed. They're on the ceilings. They're crawling on the computer as I type. ALL trash goes directly to the outside trash barrel. Leaving a single dirty dish in the sink for more than 5 minutes is now forbidden.

Moating the catfood does no good. They simply build a bridge out the bodies of their dead floating companions.

I found a trail of them going into the FREEZER the other day after some ice cream. They were sluggish but persistent.

The yard is a dangerous minefield of ant trails. Best to tape up those pant legs before venturing out there and for crist's sake DO NOT lean up against ANYTHING.

Lately I've been ruthlessly raining down death and poison upon them, but I think this only caused them to move to a nice safe location under the foundation of the house. Been trying those baits that poison the queen but they seem too smart for those. Still waiting for her to die. Where do I here the ant assassin? Today I'll try drizzling some honey on them to make them a little more tempting.

I think they're laughing at me.

All is growing dim.

Los Angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 20, 2007 - 12:23pm PT
Latest intelligence reports a secret ant sky-base in the attic.

The (2nd) Malathion Defensive to be executed at 0600, although the 1st defensive only drove the rebels underground.

Jul 20, 2007 - 12:32pm PT
argentine ants are not a single queen species so your genocide plan is not correct

they are looking for water - thats why they are in showerhead

Gamma Quadrant
Jul 20, 2007 - 12:37pm PT
I feel your pain. We've had attacks from 3 different species this year. The bait things just don't work or they just don't work fast enough. I've managed to kill off 2 of the 3 but the last one just keeps going. I can't tell what they are eating because I can't find any trails. My house is pretty friggin' small so it's not like there's someplace I'm not looking. I may have managed to kill the queen though; biggest damn ant I've ever seen. She must have been at least an inch and a half long.

If you're already having to go to such extreme measures of eliminating (covering and sealing) food sources you may as well bomb the whole house. Fogger bombs work well or you may have to call the professionals. I prefer doing the killing myself, it gives me great satisfaction.

chico ca
Jul 20, 2007 - 12:48pm PT
Yeps, i can relate to your story, especially the freezer part...yuck!
The only thing, I have used that works, Grant kill Ants-. The process is a bit slower... they take the poison back home to the colony...xxxxxxxxxx

Los Angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 20, 2007 - 12:57pm PT
"your genocide plan is not correct"

Oh yes it is.

They ALL must die.

I suspect the fogger won't work. The main nests seem to be under the cement foundation of the house where I can't get at them.

We put out the Grants bait yesterday.

Perhaps I should just nuke the entire property and collect the insurance $.


Jul 20, 2007 - 01:06pm PT
no doubt you have hundreds of queens by now and a number of satellite nests established.

you need to use thiamethoxam and get it into the right bait matrix.

mitigate problem/wait for weather to turn and look to sell ASAP. they will never be fully eradicated.

good luck.

Social climber
St. Looney
Jul 20, 2007 - 01:10pm PT
I estimate from what you have said that you have only three more days before the thousands of larvae embedded in you skin erupt and consume you.

Start saying your goodbyes now.


fort collins, co
Jul 20, 2007 - 01:17pm PT

Ant infestations are a way of life in the Sacramento Valley. PDA2540 is correct - they're after water, and sugar to a lesser extent. I battled them yearly for 7 solar revolutions, and found only one surefire way to rid yourself of these vermin:

Boric acid (aka borax) + water

Place a small dish of solution in several strategic locations. Once they track it, their March of Death will begin - straight back to the queen(s), who will slowly be poisoned with the rest of her vile workers.

The Upside: I guarantee it will destroy the colony(s).
The Downside: I guarantee it will take at least 7-10 days, during which time you must not disturb the trail(s).

good luck!



Trad climber
Knob Central
Jul 20, 2007 - 01:31pm PT
Hahahahaha, I walked into my office this morning to find that the little vermin had taken over sometime during the night. A little Raid on the hole they were using for an entrance and a little mopping up and then I will need to squash the stragglers throughout the day and revenge will be mine. They sure are resourcefull little b@stards! And persistent too.

One thing you can try is to actually make a water offering OUTSIDE for them to pilgrimage to. They are little Muslim b@stards and can't help themselves, July is holy month.

the Hooterville World-Guardian
Jul 20, 2007 - 01:32pm PT
f*#kin chicks man.

Trad climber
new york, NY
Jul 20, 2007 - 01:42pm PT
buy an anteater?
or a couple of geckos?

Trad climber
A cube at my soul sucking job in Oregon
Jul 20, 2007 - 01:43pm PT
My buddy did his in by bating them with a mixture of borax and sugar water in bowls strategically placed in their path. The key to longer term relief appears to make sure that whatever poison you use is one that lets them live long enough to take it back to the nest to kill the next generation before they find their way in. I'm sure it and many other remedies can be found.

Personally as long as they aren't bothering me I leave the little critters alone, and even take spiders outside rather than kill them. But once they cross the line like that, it's no holds barred, get the hair spray and a lighter time.

Los Angeles
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 20, 2007 - 05:12pm PT
We've seriously talked about an anteater.

If I could find one- I'd bring it home.

Hey Locker- those damn NJC ants got me too. More incentive to lead next time I guess.

Got up my pants they did. Yup- I'm all bit up. Bastards got me in some sensitive areas too. It's been 5 days and the bites still itch like crazy. I'm all pink with Calamine.

They're out to get me. Probably heard about their fallen brethren back at the war front.

Jul 20, 2007 - 06:48pm PT
Do these ants climb?


Social climber
May 22, 2013 - 02:03am PT
Bump cuz I love the way she thinks.
Peter Haan

Trad climber
Santa Cruz, CA
May 22, 2013 - 02:29am PT
The presence of ants in a structure can be an indication sometimes of a termite infestation, fyi.
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
May 22, 2013 - 05:44am PT
The "real movie" was made in "The colonies" with Just the Hand Maiden with, um, with Moses "No Red Ants" Heston.

"Everybody! Back from the Ditch! I'll run and set fire to the Hive Dome cables! Warren, you and Bill, get the Dolt Cart in position!"--BF's best line

Don't take ants for mere expedition climber hordes: any ant can climb rings around us and the Sherpants, too.

They thought they'd grab a free shower. It's dirty work being formidable.

Trad climber
Colorado Springs, Colorado
May 22, 2013 - 05:57am PT
Yes, "The Naked Jungle" that is...marriage!

mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
May 22, 2013 - 06:02am PT
That's right! She was NOT Just the Hand Maiden, my bad.

Try some Grant's Crack sometime.
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