TR - Las Vegas


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Russ Walling

Social climber
Out on the sand, Man.....
Topic Author's Original Post - Feb 14, 2007 - 01:19pm PT
Note: most of the details are fuzzy... timeframe is probably off.... some of this may be flat out wrong. We don't take very many or very good photos. ummmm.... it is free though.

The yearly flooring convention in Vegas is a good excuse for my buddy Timbo to come out and pick up some pamphlets and a linoleum sample. Then we usually wobble up about a dozen routes before his retreating back to the Hell known as Kansas City. This year would be no exception....

Time was getting short and we needed a Hotel.... Travelworm had a deal for me... I Tell Timbo to "book it pronto" and he does. A further look on the web reveals that our new digs was voted "stickiest carpet in Vegas" among some strong contenders. Here is our new home for the weekend.

As will happen, the crew has expanded and now includes me and Medium Sue, ElCapinyoazz and Chris, Timbo and his buddy Jamie, Nature and his buddy Eric, and the bagmen who watch us load the cars every morning.

First day out Timbo and his side kick go to the convention that is the cause of this entire trip... we are forced to go climbing. I beg for something close to the road. We go to the Brass Wall. No idea what we did, but here are some pics.

Chris on something

Susan on something

Side note to this is that we lost Nature... his buddy caught Ebola or something and never got out of the van all weekend... never saw him at all! Nature was fussing around in the parking lot getting his pack together and next thing he knows, we are all gone. He somehow gets out to the loop road and hikes around for a few hours looking for us.... no dice. He does one boulder problem and meets a mysterious and beautiful woman, who promptly gives him a happy finish massage under some boulder. At least that was his story.... I think he just hiked around all day pissed.

We did see some cool sheep out at the Brass Wall.... they were looking pretty tame to me.

We all meet back at our fantastic hotel and make dinner plans. We are packing scales with us since we need to weigh out for the Diet Challenge that ends tomorrow at midnight. After some dehydrated weigh ins, we are set to go.... a BrewPub ought to do it.... they order food, and I'm spreading my alloted calories out between hardboiled eggs and giant beers.

Next day we have the Timbo in tow and me, Medium Sue, and Timbos sidekick Jamie go to the Panty Wall and crack off a handful of routes. They were all pretty good and that place is a n00b paradise. Easy routes, close together, and anchors on top. I figured we had done enough, but Medium Sue decides we should hike cross country to the Magic Bus.... so we do. I prayed for death on the march, but somehow lived again. The Bus is a pretty cool feature and has some nice easy routes with plenty of bolts and anchors. We do them all or close to it.... Timbo is getting a little pumped as all he's done to prepare for his yearly climbing trip was gain two pounds in the diet challenge that is coinciding with this trip. In standard fashion we took zero photos.....

Back to the hotel for more weigh-outs and dinner plans.... still have not seen Ebola Eric... for all we know, he has perished in his van in some lonely parking lot behind Binions. Back to the BrewPub for more beers and food... finally! We pretty much eat until we are sick. Nature is dressed to impress in a suave vest and cowboy boots... his poker outfit. He looked good, but from the looks of his chips, he played bad.... I saw a lot of felt in front of him. Not a good sign.

On Saturday we go the Sunnyside Crags. Todays crew is me, Medium Sue, Timbo, Jamie, and a fitter and separate team of Chris and ElCapinyoazz.... The previous night Nature arrived in the room at about 4:30 am with security and was not able to make the bell this morning.... So, we go..... After some bushwhacking and cursing guide book authors that just have no clue as to the value of a good photo, we arrive at the crags. Pretty good cragging once we got there, but c'mon.... a shared anchor for like 4 routes that up to 50ft apart? Cripes... put in some bolts or something. We do a few routes and move down the wall waiting for some "super doggers" to free up the area classic... no chance... The spraylords are dug in like Alabama ticks on the route and working it every way but up.

Me on some contrived thingy with crappy pro

Oh well.... Timbo is still pumped and manages to take a pretty nice fall into a tree as his final hurrah. Thank Satan that Timbo and Jamie need to go to the airport kinda early, so we split to go have cocktails at the RedRock. Nice place... wish we stayed there. We dump off the Kansas City duo and head back the stickiest carpets in Vegas to do another meal with our crew..... Still no Eric. I'm really thinking he is dead now.

After dinner there is more poker for the Elcapinyoazz and Susan... I watch and try to snag free beers from the gamblers. Nature is in a big tourney and then busts out early.... real early... I think he walks the streets for the next 8 hours dejected. Since most of the poker rooms are now non-smoking, you can actually hang out in there without picking up a 4 pack a day habit. Nice! Next morning I'm hot to get out of there so I gather up my scale and me and ElCapinyoazz blast back to the desert.... Medium Sue and Chris decide to go climbing before going home, and Eric rises from the dead just in time to get Nature in the van and drag him back to Flag.


Trad climber
Mammoth Lakes, CA
Feb 14, 2007 - 01:27pm PT
nice pics...Brass Wall looks like the shiznit.

The City of Lost Angels
Feb 14, 2007 - 01:29pm PT
Russ--Hilarious TR! Good photos too, especially of the sheep and your hinny in that last shot on some route we cannot name.

Monument Manor
Feb 14, 2007 - 01:36pm PT
Yo....more butt shots than AssTraffic! Wildlife photos were cool ....with the dearth of actual climbing related details this post may be better suited to Animal Planet

Flagstaff, AZ
Feb 14, 2007 - 01:57pm PT
good read. timeline is off a bit. I didn't see that much felt. The haughie I met wandering in the desert is here in Flagstaff tonight to treat me to valentines or some such.

you left out the part about the crack dealer who never played poker. played every hand. spread $400 around the table before falling asleep on his chips. He paid me of on my quad rockets - which I recieved a Binions T-Shirt for.

It also might be worth nothing that Chris was the only one to actually sleep on the carpet... the sticky carpet.

Trad climber
the blighted lands of hatu
Feb 14, 2007 - 01:57pm PT
bump for cool pics and sticky carpet...great write up Russ !

Feb 14, 2007 - 02:06pm PT
Hahahaha another classic Russ piece.

Feb 14, 2007 - 02:06pm PT
Awesome stuff Russ, love that something route Susan is on, anyone know what it is?


Trad climber
Estes Park, CO
Feb 14, 2007 - 02:35pm PT
I believe its called Topless Twins (5.9).
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Feb 14, 2007 - 03:04pm PT
Just so I know, what were the other contenders for stickiest carpet?

Screw'em. Good photos of bighorns go well ANYWHERE. C'est magnifique!
looking sketchy there...

Social climber
Latitute 33
Feb 14, 2007 - 03:39pm PT
Thanks for the fun read Russ.

Boulder climber
Back in the mix
Feb 14, 2007 - 03:44pm PT
Cheers Russ, every so often (like once a month) checking out intardweb forums is worthwhile entertainment.

Nice one.

Gym climber
Feb 14, 2007 - 03:46pm PT
Nice one Russ. That's proud, you managed to get out to the crags, in spite of Ebola threats.
susan peplow

Feb 14, 2007 - 06:58pm PT
k-man writes, "you managed to get out to the crags"

Didn't you hear? All we do is vacation off money from portaledge flies!


Boulder climber
Sick Midget Land
Feb 14, 2007 - 07:48pm PT
I did hear that Susan. Congratulations if you can indeed pull that off.

Didn't Nature just about need an escort home to his truck the night I spent some time at your house? Is this a really common occurance or does it just happen most of the time?

Now, the question we all want answered, did Russ wear his silver fur coat gambling in Vegas?

Flagstaff, AZ
Feb 14, 2007 - 07:56pm PT
Truck? My bed was in the middle of the garage where they mass produce portaledge flies. I don't recall sleeping with the cacti that night.

And who you calling an "escort" anyway?

East of Seattle
Feb 14, 2007 - 08:01pm PT
Great stories, man! Thanks. Good climbing stuff too.

I thought there was going to be some revision of the Nature happy ending to inlcude the sheep. Glad things turned out...

Social climber
Flatland, Ca
Feb 14, 2007 - 08:56pm PT
HAHAHA Oh Sue, your so bringing up some bad juju for somebody here!!!

I heard it was a permanent vacation though.


Nature watching felt grow! Ha

Wandering in the desert only to be save by a shag under a boulder... Sweet!!! Um.. Pictures of said hotty. (Not of Voyeurism or anything... I just want proof that this isn't Nature's imagination!)

And the ebola victim.... missing from 9/10ths of the action only to surprise the audience like that chick in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels!!! Funny!!!

Sticky Carpets? Sounds like the name of a cheesy porno!

How'd that diet challenge thing go? Who's taken all the winnings?

Trad climber
Lee, NH
Feb 14, 2007 - 09:04pm PT
The TR as an art form lives on!

The Eye of the Snail
Feb 14, 2007 - 09:58pm PT
haha I love this TR. Basically nothing happened.
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