Discussion Topic |
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| Messages 1 - 62 of total 62 in this topic |
healyje
Trad climber
Portland, Oregon
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jan 19, 2018 - 06:06pm PT
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...you go to a climbing website and the banner ad is for 'Pee-Proof Underwear'. And of course the model is sporting a big tattoo so it's like you're cool even though you're pissing in your pants. Crikey shoot me f*#king now.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Jan 19, 2018 - 06:22pm PT
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I get Bentley ads and a Ford one right at the moment (WTF?) but it wouldn’t be good to
pee in yer Bentley, wood it?
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clinker
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, California
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Jan 19, 2018 - 06:25pm PT
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When you take a good look at your usual climbing partners and realize they are as old as f*#k.
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StahlBro
Trad climber
San Diego, CA
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Jan 19, 2018 - 06:29pm PT
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when you are worried about getting old
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TwistedCrank
climber
Released into general population, Idaho
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Jan 19, 2018 - 06:35pm PT
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Nose hairs getting too long for public consumption.
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rottingjohnny
Sport climber
Sands Motel , Las Vegas
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Jan 19, 2018 - 07:06pm PT
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And you can't find it cause it's still in...
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drljefe
climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
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Jan 19, 2018 - 07:06pm PT
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Say it ain’t so Locker.
I was just thinking about this.
All the things I always considered reserved for old people-
birdwatching
hiking poles
sun hats
flat water kayaking
are things I’m way into now.
F uck me.
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zBrown
Ice climber
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Jan 19, 2018 - 07:08pm PT
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Your entire wardrobe is Hawaiin shirts
and you can't find your trunks, let alone your board
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i-b-goB
Social climber
Wise Acres
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Jan 19, 2018 - 07:42pm PT
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When you have to pee at every belay!
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Jan 19, 2018 - 08:18pm PT
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the constant peeing is a PINTA when driving to the cliff.....
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Fritz
Social climber
Choss Creek, ID
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Jan 19, 2018 - 08:37pm PT
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What? Can you speak louder?
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thebravecowboy
climber
The Good Places
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Jan 19, 2018 - 09:44pm PT
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you fix a line to bail and don't just go finish it alone the next day
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jeff constine
Trad climber
Ao Namao
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Jan 19, 2018 - 10:21pm PT
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You know yur gettin old when you post a post like you did.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Jan 19, 2018 - 10:29pm PT
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You know most of the side effects on the geriatric medicines that advertise on Jeopardy! but can't recall the questions to the answers nearly so fast anymore.
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Don Lauria
Trad climber
Bishop, CA
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Jan 20, 2018 - 12:23am PT
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When you've just sent out invitations to your 85th birthday:
Notice of Intent to Celebrate
The City of Bishop and outlying regions are hereby forewarned that all friends, passive enemies, relatives, ex-employees, and those perpetually in need are invited to:
Don Lauria’s 85th Birthday Party
We held the 50th birthday party at the Catholic church’s Parish Hall on December 11, 1982, the 60th birthday party at Charles Brown Auditorium in December 1992, the 70th birthday party at Whiskey Creek Restaurant in December 2002, the 80th birthday party at Mill Creek Station in January 2013,
after which the “every ten years” plan was changed to the “every 5 years” plan and now the 85th is happening … and for obvious reasons all future parties will be held annually … I’ll try to be there.
WHEN: Saturday, January 27th, beginning about 6 PM
WHERE: Mill Creek Station
WHAT: Potluck, byob, climbing audio-visuals, good times
WHY: Why not?
RSVP: don@bardini.org, 760-873-8036
You are free to ask anyone else that might like to attend. In your RSVP let me know how many of your invitees plan to attend.
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fleeting
Trad climber
camino ca
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Jan 20, 2018 - 06:22am PT
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pro-creative urges are replaced with creative urges.
"no, honey. no sex for me.
instead i'm gonna go over here and write a poem."
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Larry Nelson
Social climber
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Jan 20, 2018 - 07:14am PT
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you turn your head really fast and it takes a couple seconds for your face to catch up.
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BruceHildenbrand
Social climber
Mountain View/Boulder
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Jan 20, 2018 - 07:47am PT
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What was the title of this thread, again?
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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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Jan 20, 2018 - 07:54am PT
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When bodily pain streams for you 24/7 in 3-D, 8K UHD TV (a.k.a. Super Hi Vision) with 22.2 surround sound, while kinesthetic joy is relegated to an unavailable monaural broadcast which once played on a tube amp radio, now sitting on a shelf in the garage behind stacks of old newspaper, covered in a mantle of dust, with a severed power cord.
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TWP
Trad climber
Mancos, CO & Bend, OR
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Jan 20, 2018 - 08:15am PT
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You become invisible to young woman.
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Sierra Ledge Rat
Mountain climber
Old and Broken Down in Appalachia
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Jan 20, 2018 - 10:26am PT
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You become invisible to young woman ^^^
The MOST painful part of getting old
 - - - -
True conversation with a 92-year-old guy.
Him: "I don't need Viagra. Wanna know why?"
Me: "Okay, Why"
Him: "I don't need Viagra because I got me a younger woman. My girlfriend is only 85."
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Jan 20, 2018 - 10:28am PT
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I’m not invisible if they want a good tip.
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hooblie
climber
from out where the anecdotes roam
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Jan 20, 2018 - 10:52am PT
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when the DMV hands you back your driver's license with the dreaded hole punched in it
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Ricky D
Trad climber
Sierra Westside
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Jan 20, 2018 - 10:58am PT
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Everyone calls you "Sir".
You use one eye to read and the other to drive.
Watching Jeopardy is the highpoint of your day.
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clinker
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, California
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Jan 20, 2018 - 11:10am PT
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...and adorable. Ha!
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Jan 20, 2018 - 11:34am PT
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your train of thought leaves the station without you.
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
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Jan 20, 2018 - 11:52am PT
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...It feels ok to leave a project to the next weekend, month, or season.
...oh, and when it feels NOT ok to leave a project to next weekend, month or season because time is running out.
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Sierra Ledge Rat
Mountain climber
Old and Broken Down in Appalachia
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Jan 20, 2018 - 12:26pm PT
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Once I dated a young woman.
I knew that she was too young for me when she came up to me one day and shouted,
"Hey! Did you know that Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings?"
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TWP
Trad climber
Mancos, CO & Bend, OR
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Jan 20, 2018 - 12:31pm PT
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I guess I touched a very sensitive nerve with my observation about young woman ignoring old men.
I thought maybe it was just me.
Locker, Sierra Ledge Rat et al. confirm it's not.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Jan 20, 2018 - 12:45pm PT
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Locker, at first I thought I read you said that you had a third of a wife.
Guess I’ve been watching too many crime shows. 😐
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Sierra Ledge Rat
Mountain climber
Old and Broken Down in Appalachia
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Jan 20, 2018 - 02:37pm PT
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I guess I touched a very sensitive nerve with my observation about young woman ignoring old men. I knew that I was a goner - over the hill - when I went out for a fun evening with an attractive younger woman - about 20 years younger.
She was recent divorcée and spent the night complaining about how horny she was and how much she wanted to get laid. Usually this kinda situation is a piece of cake, but I went home alone and unlucky. ):
Damn, I'm officially OLD.
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zBrown
Ice climber
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Jan 20, 2018 - 03:25pm PT
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""You use one eye to read and the other to drive.""
Perceptive
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Sierra Ledge Rat
Mountain climber
Old and Broken Down in Appalachia
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Jan 20, 2018 - 03:47pm PT
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Senator Bob Dole is going to be the new spokesman for Depends diapers.
I guess we can call him Square Bob Sponge Pants.
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SC seagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, Moab, A sailboat, or some time zone
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Jan 20, 2018 - 03:55pm PT
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Can’t remember how old you are unless it ends in a 0 or 5
Susan
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Ksolem
Trad climber
Monrovia, California
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Jan 20, 2018 - 05:18pm PT
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I knew I was approaching a mature age when I quit driving sports cars and pocket rockets in favor of Toyota trucks. Then came the senior pass for the parks. The old body is still in good shape from the neck down though. And what's up with this apparent plague of erectile dysfunction? C'mon guys. Maybe locker's onto something with that BBP.
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Risk
Mountain climber
Olympia, WA
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Jan 20, 2018 - 05:28pm PT
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When the worst part of a minor skiing fall/spill is the getting back up part.
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TWP
Trad climber
Mancos, CO & Bend, OR
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Jan 20, 2018 - 06:45pm PT
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"I went home alone and unlucky. "
SLR:
Your story is so sad .... I'm about to cry.
Don't you want to elaborate? Did you really try as hard as you might? Use all your usual, successful moves and ploys? Or did you blow it by telling her you didn't vote for Trump? Remember, you are in West Virginia.
Your ST buddies beg for more.
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MH2
Boulder climber
Andy Cairns
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Jan 20, 2018 - 07:00pm PT
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Wow!
Tarbuster wrote a novel in one(?) sentence.
Like, wow!
Man.
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pb
Sport climber
Sonora Ca
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Jan 20, 2018 - 08:35pm PT
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her: im going to give you super sex
him: i'll take the soup
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Adventurer
Mountain climber
Virginia
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Jan 21, 2018 - 03:23am PT
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I knew I was getting old when I noticed that young people were going out of their way to hold doors open for me!
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Jan 22, 2018 - 07:51am PT
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your reading glasses were on top of your head the whole time!
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WBraun
climber
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Jan 22, 2018 - 07:55am PT
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When you automatically get senior discounts without doing anything .......
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Gunkie
Trad climber
Valles Marineris
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Jan 22, 2018 - 08:03am PT
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...you show up to a job interview and you immediately get that look, "I thought you'd be younger."
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Gary
Social climber
Desolation Basin, Calif.
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Jan 22, 2018 - 08:06am PT
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When your doctor asks for a urine and stool sample, and you leave your underwear and go home.
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eeyonkee
Trad climber
Golden, CO
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Jan 22, 2018 - 08:46am PT
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When the average 11 year old girl out-climbs you at the gym and it doesn't bother you.
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Don Lauria
Trad climber
Bishop, CA
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Jan 22, 2018 - 09:04am PT
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Jody,
I believe those were BVDs. BVD is a brand of men's underwear, which are commonly referred to as "BVDs." The brand was founded in 1876 and named after the three founders of the New York City firm Bradley, Voorhees & Day (thus "B.V.D.").[1] The term came to be used, however incorrectly, for any underwear in the style popularized by BVD. The BVD brand, originally produced for men and women, is now produced solely for men by Fruit of the Loom.
DVDs, of course, are in a whole different category.
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MH2
Boulder climber
Andy Cairns
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Jan 22, 2018 - 01:39pm PT
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As are lead BVDs.
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Jan 22, 2018 - 01:45pm PT
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You KNOW when you’re getting old. You slide into really old age without knowing or caring.
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Reeotch
climber
4 Corners Area
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Jan 22, 2018 - 01:48pm PT
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You know yer getting old when you realize that the majority of people are dumber (hence younger) than you are.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Jan 22, 2018 - 01:51pm PT
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I wish someone would tell me 91 yr old mum she’s old.
She still makes a face if I try to slip cheap champagne past her!
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Ricky D
Trad climber
Sierra Westside
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Jan 22, 2018 - 02:32pm PT
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Droopy ballsack can be lessened by either a rubber band up and over your piece or maybe a old sling around your neck and under the scrotum.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Jan 22, 2018 - 03:01pm PT
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You guys are depressing. I still drive a sports car (fast where it is safe).
Next week I have a date to go shooting with a pretty woman in her thirties.
I'm getting a barn built and plan to breed mules.
You are old if you feel old.
(thank god for analgesics,..)
edit for locker; if women ignore you then you don't have an age problem, you have a wealth problem
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Jan 22, 2018 - 03:03pm PT
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Speaking of me 91 yr old mum. She comes in with a couple of watches. She has dozens.
“How often do I have to wind these?”
“They have batteries. You don’t have to wind them.”
“When did that happen?”
“Uh, 30 years ago, at least.”
“I wish somebody had told me. I’ve wasted a lot of time winding all my watches all these years!”
😳🙄😩😬
You can’t make this up.
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Gary
Social climber
Desolation Basin, Calif.
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Jan 22, 2018 - 03:27pm PT
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I'm getting a barn built and plan to breed mules.
Well, at least something will still have you.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Jan 22, 2018 - 03:54pm PT
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Peter Haan in reply to a Jim Donini inquiry on how he stays so young:
"Well, Jim when Tallulah Bankhead was asked how she kept HER youth, she responded, 'I send him a check'."
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hellroaring
Trad climber
San Francisco
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Jan 22, 2018 - 03:57pm PT
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When you get pulled over by a ranger or a cop and they don't automatically assume you have dope in the car...
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hellroaring
Trad climber
San Francisco
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Jan 22, 2018 - 04:03pm PT
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...and I agree with Toker Villain: when I start feeling sorry for myself I just need to get the "F" outside and try to climb more...
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divad
Trad climber
wmass
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Jan 22, 2018 - 04:43pm PT
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When you click onto this thread and agree to much of what has been posted..
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hamie
Social climber
Thekoots
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Jan 22, 2018 - 06:24pm PT
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..........all your climbing photos are black and white prints.
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Ricky D
Trad climber
Sierra Westside
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Jan 22, 2018 - 09:12pm PT
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Black and white ain't that old.
Some of these geezers have pictures carved into a clay tablet with a sharp stick.
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hooblie
climber
from out where the anecdotes roam
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Jan 23, 2018 - 03:46am PT
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... the logo on your gym bag reads Del Webb and it has a see through pocket on the side that conveniently fits your DNR card
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| Messages 1 - 62 of total 62 in this topic |
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