Hey Jello, are you a real climber?

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Messages 1 - 116 of total 116 in this topic
Aya

Uncategorizable climber
New York
Topic Author's Original Post - Nov 6, 2006 - 08:26pm PT
So I was at work the other night (I work about two nights a week, 4 hours a night at a wannabe outdoors store, mostly because I needed new ice tools and not paying retail for them was an attractive thought) and some fellow came in with his girlfriend to look at jackets. They were looking at some Mountain Hardware stuff and the woman mentioned how "That's the stuff all the real climbers use, like on Everest. I saw it on TV!" I went over and mentioned how I have a friend who climbed Everest, and all of his gear was from MH (True. But mostly just a reason to engage in conversation, cause that's what you're supposed to do in retail, right?)

"I can't believe people really climb things like that," the guy said. "It's cool that you know people that have done that. I would like to climb more, I've done it a few times at the gym. I don't think I could even name any real climbers..." and he paused for a moment while he looked at some gloves he was holding.

"Hey, what about Jeff Lowe? He's a famous climber, right?" he said brightly, and then launched into a brief history. I had to laugh.

He didn't buy anything, though...
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 6, 2006 - 08:30pm PT
Jello's not a real climber, but he plays one on TV. He does however have many cousins that test prototype gear.
Chaz

Trad climber
So. Cal.
Nov 6, 2006 - 08:33pm PT
"He didn't buy anything, though..."

Rats!
warpath

Gym climber
Sedona, AZ
Nov 6, 2006 - 08:35pm PT
With a name like Jello, He/or She has to be a Real Climber!
Ouch!

climber
Nov 6, 2006 - 08:43pm PT
Jello is just a nickname. His real name is Kool-Aid.
Scared Silly

Trad climber
UT
Nov 6, 2006 - 10:34pm PT
The name Jello is a great play on words. It involves not his name but his home state as well. Only someone from Ooootah would know the latter.
Jaybro

Social climber
The West
Nov 6, 2006 - 10:39pm PT
I'll take highest per capita consumption of __ for $100, Alex."
Crimpergirl

Social climber
St. Louis
Nov 6, 2006 - 10:40pm PT
Duh. He's not a real climber, but he stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last night...

Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 6, 2006 - 10:59pm PT
No, Ouch, Kool and his brother Klean are the "Bigair" Aid twins.

Jello was the stunt double for Kool in the action film Krater!
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Nov 7, 2006 - 12:05am PT
He is descendant from a long line of Lowe Riders.
They once drove up and down the boulevard all day and all night,
In big cars, Lowe to the ground.
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 7, 2006 - 01:35am PT
I leave you guys alone for a few hours, and what happens? Let's just say I'm turning greener by the minute.

Cheers, all (including you, locker - green and red go pretty well together)

I consider it an honor to be slandered and talked about so fondly by this fine group.

Goodnight,

GreenJelloMan
Aya

Uncategorizable climber
New York
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 7, 2006 - 07:52am PT
green = lime? sour apple? kiwi? melon?
dirtineye

Trad climber
the south
Nov 7, 2006 - 08:15am PT
I heard around a campfire at Fosters one year with Arno and this red headed guy named Jeff that another Lowe brother, Hi, invented a card game called high-lowe.

Another brother, name unknown, apparently was a a great limbo dancer and everyone who watched was astonished at his limbo abilities, coining the phrase, "How Lowe can you goe?"

And then there was the black sheep of the family, maybe jello is not too embarrassed to give his name, but THIS lowe always lived at the beach, prefering never to venture much above sea level.

He is of course still referred to as the lowest of the Lowes.

And remember, there's always room for Jello.

yo

climber
The Eye of the Snail
Nov 7, 2006 - 10:16am PT
Pretty sure it's spelled J-Lo.
tomtom

Social climber
Seattle, Wa
Nov 7, 2006 - 10:20am PT
He's not a real climber, but he plays one on TV.
Brian in SLC

Social climber
Salt Lake City, UT
Nov 7, 2006 - 10:25am PT
You can't get more Utar than green jello with carrot shavings and mini marshmellows.

Mighta shoulda been to one too many family reunions...come find out...

-Brian in SLC
Karl Baba

Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
Nov 7, 2006 - 11:01am PT
Jello

Needs to be left in the cold for hours to get it's shaky groove on.

Any relation to the pop singer?

or the next hip greeting "Jello man, Wassup?"

They should have bought the gear. I have Lowe Life fleece shirt that so kicks butt on my other numerous fleece shirts that it lives in my climbing back and finally is starting to look like swiss cheese.

;-)

Karl
feelio Babar

Trad climber
Sneaking up behind you...
Nov 7, 2006 - 11:13am PT
Great Shot of the real jello, and his denim clad teenage sausage army full of angst and anger!
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 7, 2006 - 12:46pm PT
Aya- Depends on my mood. Most of the time, though, it's lime.
paulj

climber
utah
Nov 7, 2006 - 01:36pm PT
Now Brian in SLC ought to know that green jello with carrot shavings and mini-marshmallows is only appropriate for missionary homecomings. For ward openings, it's red jello with diced walnuts and a Cool Whip topping.

Source: The Jello Matrix in "No One Knows My Pastry"
Standing Strong

Mountain climber
11_11*&*starz
Nov 7, 2006 - 01:43pm PT
"Pretty sure it's spelled J-Lo"

yo, if you should ever find yourself single and available in california, please marry me?

check one:

[ ] yes

[ ] no

[ ] not sure

[ ] no answer

[ ] all of the above
s. o.

Trad climber
academia
Nov 7, 2006 - 01:53pm PT
chalk one up for youtaaaaah and jello
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 7, 2006 - 04:49pm PT
Do not disturb J-lo.

The Lowest of the Lowes is hard at work on a radio controlled cheater stick.
Aya

Uncategorizable climber
New York
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 7, 2006 - 06:26pm PT
Are there any sisters?

Do your boobs hang Lowe?
Anastasia

Trad climber
Mammoth Lakes, CA
Nov 7, 2006 - 06:26pm PT
I like lime Jello.
TradIsGood

Fun-loving climber
the Gunks end of the country
Nov 7, 2006 - 06:41pm PT
And to think I pulled a thread when comments about females started to get inappropriate.

LOL.

Will this be a trend? ;-)

How Lowe can the fem's get?
Scared Silly

Trad climber
UT
Nov 7, 2006 - 06:42pm PT
I prefer my Jello with fruit cocktail in it or is it I prefer my cocktail with fruit jello.

Aya

Uncategorizable climber
New York
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 7, 2006 - 07:02pm PT
Ron - do they call the poop tube testing wall climbing cousin Look Out B?
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Nov 7, 2006 - 07:23pm PT
Reading this thread, and all the lowe blows, is enough to make one a so lowe climber. Or perhaps the lowe man on the totem pole.
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 7, 2006 - 07:27pm PT
Aya,

L.O.B. Lowe was the one that tested the BIODEGRADABLE poop tube. Unfortunately he was trapped on the wall by a series of rainstorms that necessitated his rescue after his wall provisions were compromised by his own bongo...
Ouch!

climber
Nov 7, 2006 - 07:32pm PT
You all are being mean to Jello. I'm glad I don't treat people that way.
dirtineye

Trad climber
the south
Nov 7, 2006 - 07:51pm PT
We need to hahve ST comedy night.

Aya and Ron-bo


RRK and Jello

and the main liners...

Russ Walling and Ragmeat

Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 7, 2006 - 08:10pm PT
Just checked back to see just how bad things may have gotten, and I think it's B-Lowe contempt how far you've all stooped. Have you no dignity? Better yet, have I no dignity? I feel so Lowe, I,m actually standing on myself. Like Gnosis Popadulopis, "I've been down so long (Lowe), it looks like up to me."* I truly am surprised we're at the level of biodegrading poop-tubes, Lowe-hanging boobs and exploding vats of green Jello (where did that come from?). I'm going to have one of my seventy-two non-virgin wholesome Utah stock wives come and kick each and every one of your sorry grade-school a##es. After all, us Jeffs (Warren, etc) are a pretty powerful bunch out this way.

-All hail the JelloKing!!!


*relatively obscure literary allusion for old hippies
dirtineye

Trad climber
the south
Nov 7, 2006 - 08:15pm PT
This thread has taken the site (or was it the shyte?) to new Lowes.
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 7, 2006 - 09:06pm PT
Raimit- Greg and Mike were both Exum guides at one time. I never was.
Aya

Uncategorizable climber
New York
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 7, 2006 - 09:16pm PT
72 non-virgin wives? Are you sure those don't belong to your cousin Gigo?
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Nov 7, 2006 - 09:21pm PT
What I want to know is, does he glowe in the dark? Or is that one of the cousins?
Jaybro

Social climber
The West
Nov 7, 2006 - 09:26pm PT

*relatively obscure literary allusion for old hippies
Lowe indeed!
what would Joan Baez say?
Enough to induce a sole diet of Farina.


Mimi?
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 7, 2006 - 09:30pm PT
No, that's just my halowe.

Aya, at the risk of offending someone, my wives were actually passed on to me as an intact hymenless harem, by a long-lost muslim cousin, after he was through with them. Now, I've said enough! Too much, actually. Time for a little good old self-censorship.

-backtoplainJello
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 7, 2006 - 09:33pm PT
Was that your suicide bombing cousin Sheesgunahb Lowe?
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 7, 2006 - 09:41pm PT
Ron, Sheesh was not a suicide bomber, just the victim of another Lowe prototype. Results were roughly equivalent, though. That's how he qualified for all the virgins, as a martyr to alpinism.
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 7, 2006 - 10:25pm PT
But Jeff, it was a prototype BOMB!
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Nov 7, 2006 - 10:37pm PT
Oh just go ahead and Blowe up the whole thread whydoncha Ronbo.
Mimi

climber
Nov 7, 2006 - 10:49pm PT
Jaybro, are you insinuatin that I'm an old hippie or that I eat Farina?

Dr. Jello, why didn't you guys ever put out a sleeping bag line? The Sweet Lowe Down. Has a nice ring to it don't ya think?
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 7, 2006 - 10:50pm PT
Well officer, would you believe I have a lot of plants to fertalize???
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Nov 7, 2006 - 10:52pm PT
Going back to the OP, Aya said: "So I was at work the other night (I work about two nights a week, 4 hours a night at a wannabe outdoors store)"

This bears #46 further investigation, does it knott? Is it an outdoors store for wannabes? Or a store that is indoors, but wannabes outdoors? Or a store that's indoors, and wannabes indoors, but wannalooks like it's outdoors?

Ah, yes, outdoor stores and their clientele.
Aya

Uncategorizable climber
New York
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 7, 2006 - 11:05pm PT
hrm, I think mostly it's that when I'm in the store, I wannabe outdoors!
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 8, 2006 - 01:18am PT
You guys are shakin' the Jello!!!
dirtineye

Trad climber
the south
Nov 8, 2006 - 08:32am PT
But waht about those mysterious sister Lowes?

I heard one was so nice, Nelley she was called,she gave all her climbing gear away to poor climbers.

They called her Sweet N Lowe.


Then she married this old game show host and she was known as Sweet N Lowe-Downs

But sister Ima Lowe thought about marrying chuck Berry, divorcing him and marrying Gorge Bush, which would have made HER , Ima Lowe-Berry-Bush.
TradIsGood

Fun-loving climber
the Gunks end of the country
Nov 8, 2006 - 08:41am PT
What about that Lowe rider from the song that's "comin for to carry me home"?
Hootervillian

climber
the Hooterville World-Guardian
Nov 8, 2006 - 09:48am PT
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 8, 2006 - 10:09am PT
You know, it does my heart good to see that my fellow tacoans are, like myself, such jovial fellows as to make sport of one of our number who's handicapped parking sticker was acquired WITHOUT slipping a twenty to a crooked clerk.
Hootervillian

climber
the Hooterville World-Guardian
Nov 8, 2006 - 10:33am PT
so what's the deal with this ^ tshirt? anyone?
dirtineye

Trad climber
the south
Nov 8, 2006 - 10:34am PT
What are you talking about ROn-bo?

IT's all in good fun, isn't it? And the growing clan of intereting, amusing, daring and talented Lowes was started off by Jello himself.

last I looked the Jello was shaking, and that can only be a reference to laughter, as in "...shook when he laughed like a bolw full of jelly!", from that old Christmas poem/song.



BTW you are not the only one who knows about handicapped stickers nad the reasons behind em.
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 8, 2006 - 10:43am PT
Want to have a "wheelies only" wheelchair race? You name the distance.
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 8, 2006 - 11:11am PT
WARNING! Do not take Ronbo seriously, whatever you do!
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 8, 2006 - 11:33am PT
OK!

Three way "wheelies only" wheelchair race;


with broomsticks!
dirtineye

Trad climber
the south
Nov 8, 2006 - 11:35am PT
Careful Jello, don't mention ever eating LIZARD to Ron-bo!

He goes into a frothing at the mouth frenzy about anything hurting his lizards.
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Nov 8, 2006 - 11:40am PT
Well Jello,
You've made new friends, the roast is on;
At least an intelligent cute climber girl kicked it off for yah eh?

Here's to you Browe,
Let's toast the roast with a Lowenbrau!
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 8, 2006 - 11:40am PT
Cheap play Dirt.

Junior could eat you for breakfast. Literally.
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 8, 2006 - 11:43am PT
Mimi- we're stealing your idea for Sweet Lowe Down insulated sleeping bags. But we've improved on the idea. Our down is sugar-frosted - you can eat the contents of your bag after the bivouac. Tastes a lot like cornflakes. Clever thinking, eh?

-SugarFrostedJello
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 8, 2006 - 11:48am PT
For Jello a windbreaker is a musical instrument that looks nothing like a jacket.
The very thought of consuming Jello-aerated sugar frosted goose feathers brings to mind the words; Geneva Convention.
dirtineye

Trad climber
the south
Nov 8, 2006 - 12:08pm PT
Toldja he got feisty about his lizards, LOL!
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 8, 2006 - 12:17pm PT
Dirt, look up feisty in the dictionary and Junior will be staring back at you saying, "You talkin' ta me?"

But this is OT.
We're supposed to be determining if the lowest of the Lowes is but a poseur who has merely photoshopped his way into the history of alpinism.

I for one am on Jeff's side.
It was the photo autographed by the yeti that won me over.
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 8, 2006 - 12:26pm PT
Funny you mentioned windbreaker, Ron-O. We've just this moment introduced a new Full-Body Windbreaker Suit to our Sweet Lowe Down line. The suit is not actually insulated when you first buy it. It's constructed of extremely lightweight but air-tight fabric and fits into a softball-size stuff sack, that fits nicely in a corner of your rucksack. At night, the climber removes all his or her clothing and dons the Suit, before crawling into their Sweet Lowe Down sugar-frosted sleeping bag. In the morning, shortly after beginning to munch on the contents of the sleeping bag, the climber will begin to have a not-unpleasant feeling that he or she is about to become flatulent. Very shortly that feeling will become a tingly anal reality as the feathers that were recently ingested begin shooting out the bum, stripped bare of their sugar-coating, and fluffed into prime lofty condition by the warm breeze of methane in which they are suspended. Within minutes of consuming the entire contents of the sleeping bag, the Full-Body Windbreaker Suit is fully inflated with an exceptionally efficient combination of feathers and methane gas, and the climber is good to go in the highest and coldest conditions. No smoking, though. We lost cousin Mel that way in a tragic product-testing explosion.

Not to worry, you folks keep on birthing new Lowe's on this thread at a rate faster than I'll ever be able to kill them off in tragic accidents while testing brilliant but fatally flawed designs.


.
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 8, 2006 - 12:47pm PT
Jeff,
the Geneva Convention specifically prohibits the use of the full body windbreaker without an attending physician.
The Senate subcommittee on cruel and unusual sportswear is currently investigating an unaccounted for shipment of Lowe Suits to Getmo.
Mimi

climber
Nov 8, 2006 - 03:51pm PT
LOL! I'm honored that you liked the name.
Gene

climber
Nov 8, 2006 - 04:10pm PT
When did Cousin Mel bLowe up?
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 8, 2006 - 08:05pm PT
Melvin too?

Oh the huge manatee!
Aya

Uncategorizable climber
New York
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 8, 2006 - 08:07pm PT
Thank goodness Jello is taking a page out of cousin Mel's book and taking this all so well!
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 8, 2006 - 08:18pm PT
To answer Aya's OP: I was, once.
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 8, 2006 - 08:22pm PT
Touchstone awaits.
Brian in SLC

Social climber
Salt Lake City, UT
Nov 9, 2006 - 09:58am PT
Now Brian in SLC ought to know that green jello with carrot shavings and mini-marshmallows is only appropriate for missionary homecomings. For ward openings, it's red jello with diced walnuts and a Cool Whip topping.
Source: The Jello Matrix in "No One Knows My Pastry"


Ahh...that must be the original source material for, "Under the Banner of Jello".

Seems like I saw a recipe for red jello and mincemeat called "Mountain Meadows Jello".

How Lowe can you go?

-Brian in SLC
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Nov 9, 2006 - 11:13am PT
Hey,
Alpinist and Brit brawny-brawly tuff guy Stevie Haston, a relation to the late great Dougal Haston, gave a slide show here in Boulderville; there was awsome footage of Stevie pumping super burly campus moves on picks out a long horizontal roof.

Stevie adamantly stated that Jello, even though widely recognized in his era, deserved even now much credit for advancements in the modern American ice climbing movement, moreso perhaps than is currently recognized and appreciated.

(this is no blowe job! hahaha)
Brian in SLC

Social climber
Salt Lake City, UT
Nov 9, 2006 - 12:20pm PT
Yep, that's been unfortunately kept on the down Lowe...

-Brian in SLC
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 9, 2006 - 09:26pm PT
To one and all: Your kind, crass and ceaseless abuse of the good name(s) of myself and my ever-expanding (exploding?) family has raised my spirits to new heights. I don't need to climb anymore, I can just float over to any peak or crag that suits my fancy, and park awhile there. I hear the Beatles:

"...I say goodbye,
and you say Jello...
Jello, Jello...
don't know why I say goodbye,
when you say Jello...
Jellooooo-oh."

Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 9, 2006 - 09:49pm PT
What about your late cousin Warren?

He put up that controversial bolt route; Lowe & Beholed
Mimi

climber
Nov 9, 2006 - 10:07pm PT
And for Southern swamp dwellers, the TupeLowe, named after the native Tupelo gum tree; a mosquito proof warm weather bag in the Sweet Lowe Down line. Here's the ad song (sorry if anyone's annoyed by Van).

Tupelo Honey, Van Morrison

You can take all the tea in china
Put it in a big brown bag for me
Sail right around the seven oceans
Drop it straight into the deep blue sea
Shes as sweet as tupelo honey
Shes an angel of the first degree
Shes as sweet as tupelo honey
Just like honey from the bee

You cant stop us on the road to freedom
You cant keep us cause our eyes can see
Men with insight, men in granite
Knights in armor bent on chivalry
Shes as sweet as tupelo honey
Shes an angel of the first degree
Shes as sweet as tupelo honey
Just like honey from the bee

Ill tell a tale of old manhattan
Adirondack bus to go
Standing waiting on my number
And my numbers gonna show.
Shes an angel of the first degree
Shes as sweet as tupelo honey
Just like honey from the bee

You know shes alright
You know shes alright with me
Shes alright, shes alright (shes an angel)
Gene

climber
Nov 9, 2006 - 10:09pm PT
Jeff,

My favorite Beatle album is...


Sgt. Pepper's Lowenly Hearts Club Band

Which one are you on the cover?
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 9, 2006 - 10:13pm PT
Jello is on that cover.
Can anyone spot him?
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Nov 9, 2006 - 10:17pm PT
A slightly off topic but fun bon mot.

All sorts of famous people, living and dead, are on the cover of Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band . (Including, of course, you lowe who.) When the Beatles and their cover artist decided this, they just went ahead and did it. Until the legal department weighed in, and said that if the person was living, they had to get consent.

So they wrote to all the famous people, asking if it was ok. Most were flattered and said fine.

They wrote to Mae West and, in effect, said "We're the Beatles, the most famous band in the world. We're doing a new album which will be called Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, and wonder if we can put your picture on the cover, with pictures of other famous people. We'll give you a free copy."

Mae West wittily responded: "What would I be doing in a Lowenely Hearts Club?"

But later she said ok.
Mimi

climber
Nov 9, 2006 - 10:20pm PT
LOL! Classic.

Edit: Which one Ron? Could be disguised as Paul. Similar stache.
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 9, 2006 - 10:22pm PT
Is that a pistol in your pocket or am I looking too Lowe.
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 9, 2006 - 10:40pm PT
Mimi- Just got back from doing a little grocery shopping (with a stop at the state liqour store for a bottle of vino), and see that you've posted up Van. He's one of my all-time favorites. And my favorite Van tune is:

"Into the Mystic"
- by Van the Man

"We were born before the wind
Also younger than the sun
Ere the bonnie boat was won as we sailed into the mystic
Hark, now hear the sailors cry
Smell the sea and feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic

And when that fog horn blows I will be coming home
And when that fog horn blows I want to hear it
I dont have to fear it
I want to rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
Then magnificently we will float into the mystic
And when that fog horn blows you know I will be coming home
And when thst fog horn whistle blows I got to hear it
I dont have to fear it
I want to rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
And together we will float into the mystic
Come on girl..."

-JelloRockin'N'Groovin'toVan
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 9, 2006 - 10:44pm PT
Gene- I am the walrus. And Mighty- my heart is a Lowenely hunter. And Mae West brings out my best, Ron.
Mimi

climber
Nov 9, 2006 - 10:54pm PT
As long as it's not too Lowenely when you're not hunting.


Once, during a trial in which she was accused of indecency on stage, the judge asked, "Miss West, are you trying to show contempt for this court?" She answered, "On the contrary, your Honor, I was doin' my best to conceal it."
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 9, 2006 - 11:14pm PT
Happily in that case acting was not her long suit.

So Jeff, is that where the expression thinking with the Lower head comes from?
Gene

climber
Nov 9, 2006 - 11:20pm PT

That explains why you are a legend on ice.


Thanks for being an inspiration to so many of us and being very cool with all these hideous puns.

I bought the The Ice Experience at a bad time in my life. Ended up spending that winter (1980) in Alaska and forgot all about her in part by puttzing around with my wood-handled axe and a Chouinard Alpine hammer. Never climbed anything worth a damn, but trying was therapy. Hauled all my crap up to Alaska and then to Asia for a five year unplanned stay with this big old honking Lowe Alpine pack I still have, rusted strap buckles and all.

{{{What's your warranty?}}}

You related to Lowenbrau?

Best wishes to you and yours.


Gene


Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Nov 9, 2006 - 11:28pm PT
Gene: There's no such thing as a hideous pun. There's just unappreciative audiences. Including most of my friends, family, and acquaintances. ST, on the other hand, is perfect - a captive audience.

A thread on "Why Climbers Like Puns" has possibilities.
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 9, 2006 - 11:35pm PT
I don't know Gene.

Those tools look pretty blunt.
Gene

climber
Nov 9, 2006 - 11:38pm PT
Ron,

That photo is post-climb. It's all about the strength-to-weight ratio.

On behalf of all, I appreciate that no one has gone down the Kinks' LoweLa path.
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Nov 9, 2006 - 11:42pm PT
Your wish is our command. Wonder if I'll beat Ron to it?

Anyway, they may not play this song much in rural Utah.

Lola (Ray Davies & The Kinks)

I met her in a club down in old Soho
where you drink champagne and it tastes just like Cherry Cola
C-O-L-A Cola.
She walked up to me and she asked me to dance.
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said, "Lola"
L-O-L-A Lola, lo lo lo Lola
Well, I'm not the world's most physical guy,
but when she squeesed me tight she nearly broke my spine
Oh my Lola, lo lo lo Lola, lo lo lo Lola
Well, I'm not dumb but I can't understand
why she walks like a woman and talks like a man
Oh my Lola, lo lo lo Lola, lo lo lo Lola
Well, we drank champagne and danced all night,
under electric candlelight,
she picked me up and sat me on her knee,
She said, "Little boy won't you come home with me?"
Well, I'm not the world's most passionate guy,
but when I looked in her eyes,
I almost fell for my Lola,
Lo lo lo Lola, lo lo lo Lola
I pushed her away. I walked to the door.
I fell to the floor. I got down on my knees.
I looked at her, and she at me.
Well that's the way that I want it to stay.
I always want it to be that way for my Lola.
Lo lo lo Lola.
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls.
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world,
except for Lola. Lo lo lo Lola. Lo lo lo Lola.
Well I left home just a week ago,
and I never ever kissed a woman before,
Lola smiled and took me by the hand,
she said, "Little boy, gonna make you a man."
Well I'm not the world's most masculine man,
but I know what I am and that I'm a man,
so is Lola.
Lo lo lo Lola. Lo lo lo Lola.
Gene

climber
Nov 9, 2006 - 11:44pm PT
That didn't take long.
Steve Grossman

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
Nov 12, 2006 - 02:55pm PT
Jeff, way back when you first put out the fiberglass Hummingbird hammer, you also had a prototype upward curving front point attachment designed for (futuristic at the time) overhanging ice climbing. Any good stories come to mind about testing that particular item?

Great story about climbing blind on the other thread.

Cheers,
Steve
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 12, 2006 - 03:14pm PT
Hoo... man... Steve, that upward-curving front-point attachment was one Baad idea. Only worked on overhanging ice, and only if you didn't lift your heels at all. We went through several Lowebros in the testing phase on that one. I can't remember their names, though, it was so long ago.

Thanks, about the other thread.

PS- people probably think we're joking about that crampon gadget. I'll look for the old catalog, where it was actually featured.

Cheers, Jello

Steve Grossman

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
Nov 12, 2006 - 03:27pm PT
Those things came to mind when imagining you on overhanging ice, climbing on the original skinny tube picks trying to get that long curved thing out.

I vividly remember that original LAS catalog with about 8 items in it. Please post the pages of that for nostalgia's sake.

You'll be amused to know that I'm still using my first and only Lowe Expedition pack for cragging. It's the shaggy luggage concept with lots of patches.
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 12, 2006 - 06:00pm PT
Well Anders, they may not play it much in Utah but it came out while I was in high school, but how's this:
if you read the Feeling the Rat thread you might recall my mentioning that Inge lives in Mayfair Tower which, as all hardcore Kinks fans know, is where Ray Davies' New York apartment is.
He's not there much but once I got into the elevator at the lobby and heard someone with a british accent yell to hold it. Ray Davies steps in and presses a floor below mine.
I nod a greeting then stare at the wall while we ride up two dozen floors. Right before the elevator slows I start humming Lola and he recognizes it glancing back at me as he gets off. I pretend to be absent mindedly still looking at the wall but then catch his eye and grin.
The door closes as I hear him laugh and say, "Wrong key."
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 14, 2006 - 02:24pm PT
bump

And I don't think he was having trouble with his door.
Aya

Uncategorizable climber
New York
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 14, 2006 - 10:05pm PT
I heard this story once about Jello, how he was hanging out with his cousins from out west. There was Bo, who had a penchant for spurs, cowboy hats and turquoise, and Pueb, who had a great little adobe place a little south of Colorado Springs. Anyway, I guess cousin Kil asked them to carry some stuff back for him after a jaunt to Colombia, and they didn't realize what it was until after they got back. Obviously nervous, they went over to cousin Si's place to stash the stuff. Unfortunately, it leaked, and somehow got fed to all of Si's sheep... what a fun time THAT was.
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 14, 2006 - 10:11pm PT
Closer to the truth than you should know...



RRK

Trad climber
Talladega, Al
Nov 14, 2006 - 10:20pm PT
Hey, I'm from 'Bama where the men are men and the sheep are nervous. You telling me that Jello has something that makes sheep amorous?? Is this some sort of "date-rape" drug? I can tell your for a fact that tequila don't work worth a sh!p on a sheep.

RRK
Gene

climber
Nov 14, 2006 - 10:21pm PT
What ever happened to the cute cousin, Sweet10?
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 14, 2006 - 10:29pm PT
"I'm from "Bama"....."something that makes sheep amorous? Is this some sort of date rape drug?"


(just quoting.....but it sure begs a lot of questions,...)
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 15, 2006 - 01:24am PT
I am shakin my Jello-loaded #ss off. Aya, we really can't go any farther down that road, or I will finally be busted, and my daughter needs me to be free.

-ReformedJello
Aya

Uncategorizable climber
New York
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 15, 2006 - 01:47am PT
I guess it's time to retire.
I heard cousin Bung A. has a nice place...

sorry jello! just had to slip one more in!!!!!
Mimi

climber
Nov 15, 2006 - 01:50am PT
No pun intended.

I'm sure you could add at least another paragraph to your above tale. That was hilarious.
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
Nov 15, 2006 - 01:52am PT
G-night, Aya...
Mimi

climber
Nov 13, 2007 - 01:16am PT
This was such a fun thread, when I found this, I had to bump it. Where's Aya been anyway?

Sorry, Jeff, but I can't really think of you as 'delicate or dainty.'
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Nov 13, 2007 - 02:18am PT
hey there jello.... say, have i found a trail of jello across my computer:

http://www.jefflowe.info/
http://www.envisionogden.org/Climbing/Climbing.php
http://www.amazon.com/Ice-World-Techniques-Experiences-Climbing/dp/0898864461
http://imdb.com/title/tt0795920/
http://www.standard.net/live/99752
http://www.alpinist.com/doc/ALP10/profile-ama-dablam

if so... it comes in many flavors and colorful ways...
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Nov 13, 2007 - 06:28am PT
I spoke with her a few weeks ago, but she wasn't in the Apple when I went there. Poor girl really has the climbing bug.
philo

Trad climber
boulder, co.
Nov 13, 2007 - 11:28am PT
I also still have one of the old expedition packs. Red with all metal buckles. It has been every where and been lived out of for extended periods of nomad time. It is hammered but refuses to give in. I call her Sophie because the pack became like a moveable sofa to me. You could pack those burly bags way past capacity and still move efficiently. Absolutely incredible pack design that polinated an industry. An old friend of mine had one of the very earliest production Lowe expedition packs. It had criss cross compression cords with cord locks. I hope he still has it! Jello is it true or an urban myth that back in the 70s mercs were buying up all of the black expedition packs? I seem to recall a friend on an international climbing trip with a brand new black sack being hassled at some border point. The borderalies thought the Big Birds were suspicious enough but they were intently interested in the black expedition pack.
TwistedCrank

climber
Ideeho
Nov 13, 2007 - 12:15pm PT
So. In Italy they call Jello "Gelato" don't they?

My wife and I have some of the first plastic-buckle Lowe packs - they've been the only multi-day packs we're ever needed. We were skeptical of the plastic at first but in the end it was a good call. The only thing I don't like about them is that sometimes you can carry more than you need. "Should we bring the espresso maker?"
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Feb 25, 2009 - 04:00pm PT
Bump, to flush out Jello. I wonder if he'll be at Todd's on April 25th?
Aya K

Trad climber
Boulder, CO!
Dec 3, 2013 - 01:16am PT
Was thinking about the Metanoia thing in a couple of weeks, and Jello, and reminiscing and all, and came across this thread and cracked myself up. I needed to bump it just because.
Steve Grossman

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
Jul 7, 2015 - 06:28pm PT
Bump for the Sweet Lowe Down!
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Jul 11, 2015 - 11:41pm PT
hey there say... wow, just saw that this was up, by a 'steve bump' ...


nice old stuff to look back on, thanks steve... :)
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