Discussion Topic |
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Topic Author's Original Post - Nov 11, 2015 - 03:34pm PT
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Dial back to Camp 4 in 1970 or 71. I was sitting at a picnic table on a balmy afternoon when perhaps the comeliest lass in the Valley sat down across from me.
"Hey, I hear you were a Green Beret," said she.
There happened to be a hatchet on the bench next to me and for some unexplainable reason I picked it up and threw it as hard as I could over my left shoulder.
A resounding THUNK ensued. I slowly looked over my shoulder to see the head of the hatchet sunk in a large tree, it's handle still quivering from a perfect strike.
Pure, blind luck....I couldn't have repeated it in another hundred throws.
BUT
I somehow sensed that words would be supefluous as I slowly turned back to her, palms held out, and casually shrugged my shoulders.
No words from her either but her eyes said it all....."your tent or mine."
How often do guys talk there way out of where they want to go?
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Nov 11, 2015 - 03:36pm PT
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lost count. I am an expert at the lost opertunity;)
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Roots
Mountain climber
Tustin, CA
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Nov 11, 2015 - 04:10pm PT
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Such a display of wisdom...only by asking a question.
If I was single I would thank you!
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crankster
Trad climber
No. Tahoe
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Nov 11, 2015 - 04:16pm PT
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Best part of the story, "comeliest lass". Conjures nice visuals.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Nov 11, 2015 - 04:21pm PT
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You left out the part about licking your eyebrows, Jim.
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Trad climber
Will know soon
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Nov 11, 2015 - 04:29pm PT
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of course there was no chance you'd miss the tree......:) "It was large and the handle was still quivering".
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ionlyski
Trad climber
Kalispell, Montana
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Nov 11, 2015 - 04:38pm PT
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Was her name Angela?
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BrassNuts
Trad climber
Save your a_s, reach for the brass...
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Nov 11, 2015 - 04:46pm PT
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 11, 2015 - 04:52pm PT
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Just the musings of an old man about Camp 4 in the 70's back before bear boxes, ranger checks at 4:00 am, early morning lines at the registration kiosk and one week time restrictions.
There were even a few blades of grass.
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jstan
climber
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Nov 11, 2015 - 05:02pm PT
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Dammit Blinky! I told you to tie me to the mast.
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rick sumner
Trad climber
reno, nevada/ wasilla alaska
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Nov 11, 2015 - 05:34pm PT
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A lot of words out of the old man of the mountain lately. What? 4 or 5 entertaining threads in the last week. Is Mrs. Donini out of town and uninterested in the antics on ST.
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Kalimon
Social climber
Ridgway, CO
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Nov 11, 2015 - 05:53pm PT
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Long may your wood quiver Jim . . . nice tale.
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guyman
Social climber
Moorpark, CA.
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Nov 11, 2015 - 05:56pm PT
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Wow, I guess a lot of us are Eskimo Brothers.....
Jim.... Thank you for your service to my nation.
I am sure not to many told you that back in 72.....
Thanks again.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Nov 11, 2015 - 06:02pm PT
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Yes, Jim is on quite a roll. I have been rather enjoying it lately, thinking about the recent "you old fekkers" tone here.
He's probably going to be at "home" in Patagonia soon, while we winter in sopertupo "wah wah winter wierdness" of flame-outs by the campfire. How smart is that?
Here's to ya!
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Nov 11, 2015 - 07:01pm PT
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Yeah yeah yeah, whatever.
Story means nothing til you tell us what happened next!
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Karen
Trad climber
Casper, Wyoming
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Nov 11, 2015 - 07:04pm PT
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Moon light walking hand and hand a long the Merced. The next two weeks were glorious......
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zBrown
Ice climber
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Nov 11, 2015 - 07:04pm PT
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Heeeere's donini?
[Click to View YouTube Video]
That said, axe work is differentially perceived, no? Are there any arborists out there who care to comment on the sharpness of Jack's tool?
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nature
climber
Boulder, CO
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Nov 11, 2015 - 07:04pm PT
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Somehow this relates. Maybe it's the Isolation Ale.
Guys have a million pick up lines.
Women have one.
Know what it is?
Hi.
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NutAgain!
Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
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Nov 11, 2015 - 07:53pm PT
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I suppose my thanks for your service to our country can never compete with the look in her eyes, regardless of what followed.
I think you might understand and perhaps even appreciate it if I don't try?
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Nov 11, 2015 - 08:06pm PT
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Woot, woot!! I've aways found that opening my mouth got me in trouble anyway.
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Fritz
Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
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Nov 11, 2015 - 08:08pm PT
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In mid 1970's Moscow Idaho, population 14,000, plus University of Idaho & 7 miles away Washington State University: there was a major party culture.
I was not tall, dark, or handsome, but I was fairly good at sales & closing sales, since I was running a local outdoor shop.
It was a very small puddle for climbers & outdoor folks.
I never appreciated how small the puddle was, until two new girlfriends in a row, mentioned something like this, just before our first night in the sack.
"I've heard you're big, & don't get tired."
All rumors of course, among the ladies. Bless their gossipy ways.
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ß Î Ø T Ç H
Boulder climber
ne'er–do–well
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Nov 11, 2015 - 09:06pm PT
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When any words are too many...... ... just STFU.
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Larry Nelson
Social climber
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Nov 12, 2015 - 05:22am PT
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Donini
LMAO, that is one funny story (which hasn't been topped).
No doubt that quivering handle was pointing up high.
Good ones also, Warbler, stich and Fritz
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 12, 2015 - 07:18am PT
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Jody......you just had to politicize this thread. Ideologes (of every stripe) seem to be lacking in humor.
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Dingus McGee
Social climber
Where Safety trumps Leaving No Trace
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Nov 12, 2015 - 07:37am PT
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Blindly throwing a hatchet over your head ? reeks of inconsideration for others that may be passing by your locale -- in camp 4.
You are lucky that stuck in a tree trunk and not the trunk of a person.
Impulsive!
Randisi has an understanding of availability.
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SC seagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, Moab, A sailboat, or some time zone
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Nov 12, 2015 - 08:24am PT
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Oh boy. I'm reading.
Susan
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couchmaster
climber
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Nov 12, 2015 - 08:35am PT
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Nowdays those same lovely lass's would look at us old dudes lookin their way...they'd shiver, then run the other way. Thinking "brr, old pervs". Times change although the memories are still precious.
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rick sumner
Trad climber
reno, nevada/ wasilla alaska
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Nov 12, 2015 - 08:38am PT
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Ah yes, old Jimbo's tale has yet to be surpassed.
This thread could have some real legs.
Come on amigos, you remember the tails of youth when the juices were coursing through bulging veins.
I have some fond memories, an incomparable lass and a wink on her part followed by my nod. But no, I won't go there. Mrs. Sumner occasionally looks in
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Nov 12, 2015 - 09:06am PT
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Everything is better in a memory, in fact it's just the way you want it to have been.
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Larry Nelson
Social climber
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Nov 12, 2015 - 09:29am PT
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The older I get, the better I used to be
;-)
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jstan
climber
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Nov 12, 2015 - 12:06pm PT
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That bit with Ed Ames is the best thing I have ever seen on TV.
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fear
Ice climber
hartford, ct
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Nov 12, 2015 - 12:10pm PT
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After an hour or so, she heard her boyfriend walking through camp calling her name, and she had to go, I said sure.
Pure poetry....
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Nov 12, 2015 - 12:15pm PT
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This took place in The Summer of 68.
While Jim was out terrorizing the Cong, I'd made my bird from being a Seaman Apprentice (S2) in the US Nay-ay-vee.
And this is how I became a semen dispenser for Stevee C. from NOLA, the Big Easy. And she was easy.
I was discharged in June, went to Yosemite for two weeks, spent a week or so in LA visiting with Jones, who'd likewise gotten an Undesirable Discharge for weed-smokin'...just as I had. He'd been at DLI/Monterey, and I'd been at Schools Command/Treasure Is.
During that LA visit, I managed to drop in on each of the Two Marlas, one of whom lived with her boyfriend in S. Laguna Beach, while the other, Marla #2, lived near the beach in Santa Monica. I'd met and slept with both of them in those two weeks in the Valley following my discharge.
Two Marlas. Two Jakes. Just the one Mouse. Just the one Marlow.
So, Stevee had shown up in Merced earlier that year, and she and her old man, John the Clueless, had set up their weed supply line and were dealing to my friends. I ended up living with these two after I came to roost in Merced following my LA tour with the Two Marlas.
Stevee and I, just prior to my moving in with them, had spent most of one night just walking around town in the July night's heat. We may have been wired, I don't remember. We walked and rapped, got to know more of each other's story, but all she really told me was that she was glad to be FROM New Orleans, she had warrants out in LA...not LA, but Louisiana.
Well, since we were here, why not go up into that tankhouse up there in the back of that house, I thought. It belonged to the Kellogg family, who ran the surplus store. It used to be that the tankhouse held water pumped from the yard's well, but it had been converted to a bedroom and bathroom since the city began supplying water service years ago.
I'd lost my virginity to Liz #1 up there back in high school. So I knew the layout and did not hesitate to visit the place this night with a VERY HOT CHICK (no comely lasses for me, thanks) in tow.
We were both tired of walking and talking. I said, "Let's do a no-clothes thing," it being so warm that night. She complied wordlessly.
We ran up to Yosemite that week-end together with Mathis and Mark and Yeates and had a delightful couple of nights. Then she was back with Old Clueless and I'd arranged for the spare room to be mine.
I can't imagine a guy being dumb enuff to not STFU and just take the direct route.
You can't type silently, even if you are the strong, silent type.
Life is good just letting it come to you. Plans are just budgets, which are just guidelines.
CAVEAT EMPTOR.
I mean CARPE DIEM. Sorry.
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paul roehl
Boulder climber
california
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Nov 12, 2015 - 02:49pm PT
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There was a blond waitress at the old mountain room bar sometime in the early 70s, who was so beautiful it made it difficult to sleep. Used to nurse beers in there just to watch her. One day saw her with her girlfriend sans clothes up at devil's BT and wow it was like being run over by a truck. Walking to the store that same afternoon she was coming the other way on the path and I had the perfect opportunity to speak to her but just couldn't. It was like backing off of some relatively easy climb out of fear, chicken sh*t... lots of self loathing and regret. Don't know why it was so damn hard to talk to women... and I still regret not saying anything forty some odd years later.
My experience in the Valley was there were occasionally women, but there were one hell of a lot more lonely guys.
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Nov 12, 2015 - 05:14pm PT
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Now that one, I believe!
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TGT
Social climber
So Cal
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Nov 12, 2015 - 06:15pm PT
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I sold my 68 R69S BMW a few years ago. It spent a few years after the new owner did minimal restoration at the Curtis Wright museum in New York.
He got it back from the museum about a year ago and when I was talking to him on a business matter chimed in,
"Hey there are babes in bikinis riding behind me on your bike."
well, it may as well work once more.
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zBrown
Ice climber
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Nov 12, 2015 - 06:53pm PT
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Back before Vera Jayne (Mansfield) Palmer was blonde and before I had extra cash on hand for an ax, I met her at the Caliente Race Track.
Just like John Mellencamp, I did my best James Dean.
She just grinned and shook my hand, "no was all she said".
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jstan
climber
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Nov 12, 2015 - 09:02pm PT
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You guys really should watch that bit between Ed Ames and Johnny Carson.
Devoting a whole thread to male irrationality when under the influence is a stretch. Let me suggest
the thread about the ark on the moon as an alternative.
In third grade I was particularly well trained in these matters. A girl sitting at the desk in front of
mine made a habit of sitting reversed in her seat so she could stare at me. I figured it out and
suggested she have her vision checked. Problem solved.
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Ricky D
Trad climber
Sierra Westside
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Nov 12, 2015 - 09:28pm PT
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Was her name Lillith by chance?
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jstan
climber
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Nov 12, 2015 - 10:51pm PT
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As a matter of fact....................
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Nov 13, 2015 - 03:46am PT
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Heading to the locker rooms after karate class. We had to walk past the door of the womens locker room to get to the mens locker room. I was a black belt at the time and a sweet young green belt grabbed me by the gi and yanked me into the womens locker room as we walked past the door. All the other ladies left on que. Words were not nessicary ;)
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originalpmac
Mountain climber
Anywhere I like
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Nov 13, 2015 - 04:17am PT
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I was once tending bar...
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mcreel
climber
Barcelona
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Nov 13, 2015 - 05:16am PT
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I can imagine some scruffy denizen of Camp 4 with a hatchet embedded in his forehead, crossed eyes contemplating the quivering handle, as he sinks to his knees...
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Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
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Nov 13, 2015 - 08:43am PT
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. .iW.., i was just here when you struck that nice picture, sorry.
I had just wanted to say that in my insomnia induced haze, I had trans-posed the last two numbers, the 1's and the 8's
sorry johnny woot and guys, thats' somebody's daughter. . .
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rbord
Boulder climber
atlanta
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Nov 13, 2015 - 10:00am PT
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Nice post!
One effect of female choice on the evolution of our belief/behavior creation processes is that it leaves us believing that we're all the dope! for being inclined to splatter ourselves against the rocks.
Thanks for reminding us of the rewards of our wacky way of believing/behaving :-)
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Clint Cummins
Trad climber
SF Bay area, CA
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Nov 13, 2015 - 12:23pm PT
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"I heard you are slow and like booty."
I assured her the preposterous myth was true.
No doubt the word had gotten out, about the many abandoned but beautiful prizes
I had coaxed from reluctant positions with my 10" tool.
There was no time for a tent, as I fondled her ample rack like a gear freak,
while she offered her services as a submissive belay slave.
"It's true, some call me the booty master. Beta master? Master debater?"
Then I woke up, to the sound of cowbells.
The jangling of hexes always outs a beginner crag.
But I was there not as a youngster, but as an old codger, dozing off in the sun.
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Evel
Trad climber
Nedsterdam CO
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Nov 13, 2015 - 01:15pm PT
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Had been seeing a very pretty gal for a short while but had yet to go "all the way".
We were camping at the local crag having fun when she suggests that if I were to free solo a certain route she'd meet me at the top with a reward. I had the thing fairly wired so it didn't take me long to boot up.
She did meet me on top, told me that was the dumbest thing she's ever seen and leaves.
Yeah, pretty dumb.
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rbord
Boulder climber
atlanta
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Nov 13, 2015 - 02:23pm PT
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There was an interesting study on gender roles and lying about sexual behavior in 2013. While men and women were equally likely to not lie about non-sexual non-stereotypical gender behavior whether or not they (thought they) were hooked up to a lie detector, they were much more likely to lie (and lie in a gender conforming way) when responding about sexual behaviors when they thought they could get away with it (eg when not hooked up to the lie detector). Not surprisingly, men were much more likely to say that they had more, and more varied, sexual experiences than they actually had, if they thought they could get away with lying about it, while women were inclined to say the opposite, each in order to increase their (perceived) (evolutionary) fitness.
The take-home message was that humans have a much stronger psychological tendency (it's much more advantageous) to lie (or brag) about gender-stereotypical sexual behaviors than to lie about nonsexual behaviors, when in an environment where they think they can get away with lying, in order to enhance their "status." I think those beliefs and behaviors are pretty much derived from the evolutionary consequences of our species' reproductive strategy of female choice. I wonder where the Internet would fit into that lying/nonlying behavioral scheme?
For me personally, after 25 years of being happily monogamously married, with my genetic offspring in a psychiatric hospital, and my non-genetic children poised to take over the world, I feel like I'm past the point of needing to be affected by those evolutionary pressures on my psychology.
But the joke is on me! My evolved psychological tendencies, which worked so advantageously for my evolutionary ancestors in their evolutionary environment, mean that I am wired to be inclined to believe and behave as if I'm still a monkey living in a tree.
You too? :-)
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Nov 13, 2015 - 04:27pm PT
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Jaybro, bro, I look at what I wrote and even I have a hard time believing that I had such good luck!
It is all true, and my streak kept on streakin' later that fall with a certain Debbie from Snelling, who visited me in the hospital whilst I recovered from the accident which caused me to have my thumb amputated.
I quietly played the old sympathy card and she responded as sympathetically as she could...right there in the hospital and then again once I was back on the streets.
Then came a long, long drought.
You don't miss what you've got till it's gone.
And Evel, some women are just sadists.
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drljefe
climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
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Nov 13, 2015 - 05:59pm PT
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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
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zBrown
Ice climber
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Nov 13, 2015 - 07:38pm PT
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Burt Reynolds once again is calling Sally Field "the love of my life" -- but she's not saying very much in return. At least not publicly.
"I miss her terribly," the 79-year-old movie star tells Vanity Fair in its December issue. "Even now, it's hard on me. I don't know why I was so stupid. Men are like that, you know. You find the perfect person, and then you do everything you can to screw it up."
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zBrown
Ice climber
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Nov 14, 2015 - 10:10am PT
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t's so unlike Jim to throw something up without at least one musical interlude, so without further ad.
Life does go on, even after the thrills desert.
[Click to View YouTube Video]
H Rap Brown on base @2:41.
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 1, 2015 - 07:14am PT
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If there was ever a time for no words it's now Randisi.
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mastadon
Trad climber
crack addict
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I may have had a few amorous adventures in C4 in the early 70's....
I remember a few of us were sitting at our picnic table in the middle of camp in the mid to late 70's. We were a scruffy, desperate bunch of losers when an indescribably beautiful young indian girl came walking by. A true indian princess. We were all stunned to silence. You could hear the stoves hissing and cars driving by but our site was as silent as a tomb. Every one of us was transfixed on this indian goddess with our mouths agape. She was looking for Ron Kauk. The girl was Lucy Parker.
I was talking to her a couple years ago and told her of this event. She laughed, we laughed. Great times, great memories.
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