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micronut
Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
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Topic Author's Original Post - Dec 21, 2014 - 12:04pm PT
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A Fresno man has been detained for questioning after an 8 year old boy was found alone and neglected at a lost angeles county park. The man, a forty one year old male dressed in jeans, a 5.10 hoody and tattered approach shoes, claimed to have "had an eye on him most of the time officer."
Allegedly the man had recently been to the Patagonia store in downtown Pasadena while in the area for his daughter's swim meet and purchased Fred Beckey's 100 FAVORITE NORTH AMERICAN CLIMBS book. He bought the 26lb glossy coffee table edition for his trusty climbing partner as a christmas gift, but was unable to resist opening the aforementioned gift while taking his young boy to a park during the swim meet.
The man reported to have held off for nearly four minutes before rationalizing that "Adam would probably want me to check it out a bit.....just to see if its any good."
The boy was found by a passing couple from Alhambra, alone in the sand box with the father nowhere to be found, appearing hungry and muddy but otherwise intact.
The man was eventually found in his wife's minivan salivating over a photo of South Howser Tower.
He was uncooperative while the officer at the scene questioned him.....refusing to stop saying
"Dude....check out this line.....Do you think that's gonna be runout right there, or do you think there's gear under that small flake to the left?"
Passerby's had noted that the man looked to be sleeping while the boy played, utterly alone, nearly 30 yards away.
Esmerelda Fuentes of Monterrey Park, ca reported that she attempted to get the man's attention as she walked by with a bucket full of KFC for her husband's soccer match at the park but he was unresponsive and simply showed her a picture of the Fisher towers.
He explained over and over that the book was amazing quality and should be on every climbers Christmas list. Despite it's nearly $80 price tag.
Allegedly, he was going to pick up the child after he finished scoping out the topo for a climb in Zion, but when the boy was questioned by authorities, he said "I don't know? He's over there maybe? I'm hungry.... Do you have any chicken nuggets?"
The father has been taken into custody for further questioning and the boy has been allowed to continue to work in the sand box, which surprisingly looks a great deal like Mount Slesse's North East Buttress.
The officer involved has apparently called the man's wife and she was allegedly not very impressed or surprised.
Details at 11.
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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Dec 21, 2014 - 12:09pm PT
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This is awesome.
Please send a copy to my house, since I have to watch the kids today also....
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Happiegrrrl2
Trad climber
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Dec 21, 2014 - 12:12pm PT
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Very Creative!
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Studly
Trad climber
WA
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Dec 21, 2014 - 12:17pm PT
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And Fred Beckey is still free to roam the hills, go figure.
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Dec 21, 2014 - 12:30pm PT
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I think that's the same guy who makes the kid do approaches barefoot... Pray he never sees a copy of Desert Towers...
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clinker
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, California
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Dec 21, 2014 - 01:02pm PT
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The kid is old enough to work and pay for it's daycare.
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Levy
Big Wall climber
So Cal
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Dec 21, 2014 - 01:03pm PT
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Too funny! Becky's book looks really cool, I'll have to get my hands on a copy of that.
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apogee
climber
Technically expert, safe belayer, can lead if easy
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Dec 21, 2014 - 01:05pm PT
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"...the boy has been allowed to continue to work in the sand box, which surprisingly looks a great deal like Mount Slesse's North East Buttress."
Dude, that was hilarious.
Nice send.
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snowhazed
Trad climber
Oaksterdam, CA
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Dec 21, 2014 - 01:09pm PT
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nice one
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
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Dec 21, 2014 - 01:17pm PT
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Partner just got hosed on a stellar gift. doH!! lol
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Willoughby
Social climber
Truckee, CA
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Dec 21, 2014 - 01:18pm PT
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Does everybody do that? And by "that" I mean buy people gifts that we ourselves more or less covet. I know I do.
Funny stuff.
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rincon
Trad climber
Coarsegold
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Dec 21, 2014 - 01:22pm PT
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Oh no, now macronut will know what he's getting for Christmas.
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Sierra Ledge Rat
Mountain climber
Old and Broken Down in Appalachia
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Dec 21, 2014 - 01:53pm PT
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I hear the posse is looking for him, and they've got a ROPE!
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micronut
Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 21, 2014 - 02:05pm PT
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Is it bad that I am marking up his Christmas present with my "have dones"?
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WBraun
climber
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Dec 21, 2014 - 02:32pm PT
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LOL micronut
Well played .....
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Dec 21, 2014 - 02:57pm PT
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hey there say, micronut...
as to this part of your quote:
and the boy has been allowed to continue to work in the sand box, which surprisingly looks a great deal like Mount Slesse's North East Buttress.
wow, i just LOVE it... :)
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phylp
Trad climber
Upland, CA
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Dec 21, 2014 - 05:38pm PT
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This was great!
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Kalimon
Social climber
Ridgway, CO
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Dec 21, 2014 - 05:49pm PT
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You should be ashamed of your self . . . for bailing off the North Chimney on Castleton! Head back out this spring and we'll get you up that thing.
Maybe tick some more of Fred's routes even.
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crankster
Trad climber
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Dec 21, 2014 - 06:43pm PT
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Damn Becky. The trouble he's caused...
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climbski2
Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
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Dec 21, 2014 - 06:47pm PT
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Loved it..Thinking of funny stories involving Beckey..Did you ever hear the one where his Subaru got stolen?
While he was sleeping in it!
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Mark Sensenbach
climber
CA
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Dec 21, 2014 - 07:04pm PT
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You got me at Esmerelda Fuentes!
Lovein It!!
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Flip Flop
Trad climber
Truckee, CA
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Dec 21, 2014 - 08:01pm PT
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You people!
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hooblie
climber
from out where the anecdotes roam
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Dec 21, 2014 - 09:06pm PT
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that sandbox slesse kid requires an intervention. put him on a stout leash and test his hottie response.
rifle through his pockets: a black book of phone numbers = bad sign. if he snarls when you snap the rubber band on that stack of index cards, return the crumpled condiment stash and lock up the pledgelings.
monitor closely: constant knee rubbing plus muttering about the impending "wedder" ... you bag him in burlap and ship to barbados for transfusions and voodoo.
this MUST be done for the sake of the undone heaps
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Dec 21, 2014 - 09:39pm PT
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Nicely done, sir. And you're right, Slesse is a veritable heap,
not to mention the slog.
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SeaToSky
Mountain climber
Vancouver, BC
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Dec 21, 2014 - 10:07pm PT
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We'll have to do a Squamish roadtrip and do the Squamish Buttress and Angel's Crest. Those are great climbs!
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Dec 22, 2014 - 03:10am PT
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Beckey used to cruise Camp 4 in his station wagon looking for young hardmen.
None of this is surprising.
It's part of his vast legacy.
Only EIGHTY Bucks?
You cheapskate!
After all you've been through together...
Throw the book at the ingrate, Judge!
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Norwegian
Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
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Dec 22, 2014 - 06:04am PT
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gee, nut.
i absolutely needed your
gripping tale this morning;
you see i am in the midst of a
peanut butter and jelly sandwich
run that has no end in sight.
(i am protesting my wife's
christmas budget this year:
i only eat pb & j's until
our credit card is back
to zero...)
butt an unforeseen consequence
of my steadfast stance
is difficult bowel movements.
i sit and sit and sit and sit
and nothing happens except
a fruitless urge;
well i'm happy to report
that this morning i blasted
out a 3-day plug
while reading your dynamite report.
i owe you one.
esmerelda.
[Click to View YouTube Video]
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Fritz
Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
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Dec 22, 2014 - 07:10am PT
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Tooooo much fun! Thank you for bringing us along to your nicely strange world.
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SC seagoat
Trad climber
In What Time Zone Am I?
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Dec 22, 2014 - 09:24am PT
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I haven't stopped laughing!
Thank you Fred and Micro!
Susan
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Rockies Obscure
Trad climber
rockiesobscure.com....Canada
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Dec 22, 2014 - 01:54pm PT
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Haha very nice spin!
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guyman
Social climber
Moorpark, CA.
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Dec 22, 2014 - 03:59pm PT
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Nice Troll.....
5.10 hoodie....
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Will_P
Trad climber
Melbourne, Victoria
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Dec 22, 2014 - 04:00pm PT
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Micro, you could anything into a great TR. Love it! Have a safe, fun, and relaxing Christmas.
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guido
Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
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Dec 22, 2014 - 04:21pm PT
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Ah, but it was a work study program in SandBagging 1A.
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Chugach
Trad climber
Vermont
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Dec 22, 2014 - 05:30pm PT
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Bravo
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dee ee
Mountain climber
citizen of planet Earth
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Dec 22, 2014 - 08:17pm PT
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Negligent parents make me sick, but, then again, I've already had my copy for a year or so........and yes....it's inked up.
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