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Fritz
Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
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Topic Author's Original Post - Apr 24, 2014 - 10:55pm PT
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Heidi suffers it, and Jim Donini has it too!
Do you ever stare at a burning pile of logs and find yourself unable to stop futzing with it? Do you look at a campfire and immediately see one or more ways you could improve it? Are you the guy or girl sitting closest to the fire, always wearing a pair of beat-up leather gloves, or holding a narrow piece of split log, so you can adjust the infrastructure according to your next whim?
If you answered “yes” to any of these three questions, you may have Obsessive Campfire Adjustment Syndrome, or O.C.A.S. Obsessive Campfire Adjustment Syndrome affects one out of every four camping enthusiasts in their lifetime, which means you have a 25 percent chance of developing symptoms. It also means the next time you go camping in a group of four, three of you will enjoy the campfire, contentedly staring into its embers like cave people, and one of you will not stop messing with the goddamn fire.
Ask yourself:
•Are you able to just sit and enjoy a campfire for what it is, a source of light and heat in the dark, cold night? If you answered No, you may have O.C.A.S.
•Do you think you, not the wind, can control the direction that campfire smoke blows? If you answered Yes, you may have O.C.A.S.
•Have you ever put a huge log on the fire, then gone to bed five minutes later, leaving someone else with the responsibility of making sure the fire goes out? This is not a symptom, but it is kind of a dick move, and you should probably stop doing it.
Sufferers of OCAS may not show symptoms until their mid-30s or early 40s. People with OCAS may not know they have OCAS. Symptoms may only surface when someone with OCAS is on a date.
If you suspect a friend may have OCAS, it is your responsibility to confront them. Try saying things like, “Dave, why don’t you sit down and stop f*#king with the damn fire?”
Talk to your doctor about OCAS today. You’re not alone. Many sufferers of OCAS have gone on to enjoy a lifetime of weekend campfires without so much as even adding wood when the fire is about to go out.
Ask your doctor about which OCAS treatment options are right for you. Stop worrying, and start enjoying campfires today. If you have trouble concentrating, or have an erection lasting four hours or more, that probably has nothing to do with OCAS.
http://semi-rad.com/2014/04/do-you-have-obsessive-campfire-adjustment-syndrome/
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zBrown
Ice climber
Brujo de la Playa
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Apr 24, 2014 - 11:00pm PT
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Probably had these as children, too.
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John M
climber
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Apr 24, 2014 - 11:05pm PT
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you mean that you can't control the direction the smoke blows???
:-)
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Fritz
Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 24, 2014 - 11:10pm PT
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Donini (at left---as is his way) managing the fire! City of Rocks 2010.
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Apr 24, 2014 - 11:17pm PT
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Guilty as charged.
I've lived with fire for almost my whole life. It was the source of warmth, cooked food, and comfort for a significant part of my youth. Sitting by a fire remains to this day probably the most comforting thing in my universe.
And sometimes I can just sit. Other times, yeah, there is the need to adjust...
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Fritz
Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 24, 2014 - 11:50pm PT
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City of Rocks 2012. Heidi at left and Donini at middle, close to the fire where they can control it.
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Apr 25, 2014 - 12:23am PT
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I've had it for years but it's morphed. Early on I was the guy who kept the coals in proper distribution by stirring them with...you know what. In later years I stood by the campfire, glass of wine in hand, and waxed poetic about the days climbing. Now, I sit, rumpled not resplendent, in my camp chair muttering incoherently about the good all days.
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John M
climber
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Apr 25, 2014 - 12:27am PT
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LOL, now I just complain that the youngsters don't know nothing about building a proper campfire.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Apr 25, 2014 - 12:28am PT
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One out of four? You're either deluded or a denier!
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Apr 25, 2014 - 12:40am PT
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So, now you know why I chose a career in the kitchen. There is also this thing about knives that I'm trying to figure out. I bet I have cut and burned myself more than most three people on this site. I'm not bragging here, this is a cry for help.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Apr 25, 2014 - 01:11am PT
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Yeah Tami, I learned that one the hard way. Letting go of the reaction to grab something when you drop it or fumble it is a problem that all serious cooks have faced at some point.
I have many tales of skill or woe, that would make the squeamish puke.
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Spider Savage
Mountain climber
The shaggy fringe of Los Angeles
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Apr 25, 2014 - 01:25am PT
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Not at all. Sounds like one of those useless DSM classifications.
HOWEVER, I will not permit a campfire in my presence to go unattended.
First it must be built with perfect log cabin structure with progressively larger matterials at the start.
Then all firewood must be abuntantly gathered and carefully sorted by size.
No firewould may be wet or have any bark on it whatsoever. Bark tends to naturally protect a tree from fire and may be resistant to combustion.
Naturally any green wood disposed of and pressure treated building materials and put in the trash. Processed lumber is okay with me.
One must maintain a perfectly balanced Fire Triangle when operating campfire. When done properly a campfire is almost completely smokeless.
The Fire Triangle is used by firefighters to extinguish fires. This can also be used to maintain a perfect fire for any purpose.
THE FIRE TRIANGLE
FUEL - there must be adequate fuel to combust
HEAT - there must be appropriate heat to achieve combustion
OXYGEN - fire is an oxidization process, there must be sufficient oxygen to combine with heat and fuel to create fire
If a camp fire is smoking or suffering in any way it is only necessary to determine which of the above three elements is missing to repair the problem.
It may be necessary to keep a spare leather work glove handy to maintain a campfire.
Maintenance of optimum combustion at all times can usually be achieved with a poker stick OR two poker sticks in combination used like chopsticks.
The teepee fire lay is much less optimum. (drives me nuts)
As wood is reduced to ash, the butt ends must be carefully turned into the fire so they can be consumed and reduced to ash.
Every campfire should include all fuel systematically reduced to ash so as to leave it clean for the next person.
Burning trash is always done after cooking. The fire is stoked to a high temperature with a very efficient burn. Trash, especially if it includes plastics must be carefully burned at high heat so as to reduce it to clear gas and ash as much as possible.
All fire pits should be kept clean of metal, glass, plastic blobs etc before leaving the camp. Larger bits of charcoal would have been reduced as above.
The rocks surrounding a fire pit must be arranged to optimum position using a high level of creativity and qualified dry stone masonry technique. Naturally this would take into consideration prevailing winds and any cooking needs. Consider whether or not meat roasting, pot boiling, coffee, frying, or marshmallow roasting must be done.
Carefully consider the position of people who will be sitting around the fire with the same considerations. Arrange logs, stumps and rocks to ideal positions around the campfire. Consider the comfort of all members of your party as well as future visitors to the site. Carefully remove all bits of trash, no matter how small in a 30 ft perimeter around the fire pit.
If you are planning a fire, also take into consideration the affect of smoke and sparks in relation to tents, tables, and natural vegetation in the area.
If people in the camp wish to jump over the fire after drinking heavily, this is okay with me. Please go at least 50 feet from the camp before vomiting. I don’t mind repairing a damaged fire lay if it was all in good fun. Unconscious bodies will be politely place in a safe position at least six feet from any campfire where no one will trip over them.
Lastly, never leave a campfire unattended even for a few minutes. Let it burn out at night with someone who does not use tents sleeping on the ground not far way (usually me) after preparing the lay so it will not smolder or smoke excessively. When leaving the site pour lots of water on the fire and stir the pit carefully with the poker until you can touch the area with your bare hands without discomfort.
OCAS. pft! Don't be stupid
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Captain...or Skully
climber
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Apr 25, 2014 - 01:27am PT
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A campfire is just caveman TV. Best show ever, too.;-)
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Daphne
Trad climber
Northern California
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Apr 25, 2014 - 01:31am PT
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Oh my god, I had no idea I had a disorder. I thought all fires needed to be treated constantly with adjustments to optimize "the fire triangle" (thanks, Spider Savage, for that term!).
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Flip Flop
Trad climber
Truckee, CA
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Apr 25, 2014 - 01:36am PT
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Hell Spider,
I just burned 3 sets of furniture and some old chainsaw gas. I can't swing dump fees so I just burn everything. I wasn't about to hang out and wait for the cops to show up or the forest to start burning. It was down to 6' feet high and 10' around and the rain was starting. It should burn out in another hour or two. Good enough for the recession.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Apr 25, 2014 - 01:44am PT
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Great post, Spidey. You have the campfire thing wired, as I see it.
There is one problem.
Bark tends to naturally protect a tree from fire and may be resistant to combustion.
"anything will burn if you get it hot enough"
Miller's Third Law of Combustion Dynamics
Sometimes you can't get enough "good wood" and some scrappy crap in a hot fire does just fine.
This does not always work for those without enough technical experience.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Apr 25, 2014 - 06:04am PT
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hey there say, spider... :)
i'll join daphne, with this:
Oh my god, I had no idea I had a disorder. I thought all fires needed to be treated constantly with adjustments to optimize "the fire triangle" (thanks, Spider Savage, for that term!).
us mommy's, too, tend to keep watchful eyes, :)
thanks for the instructions and humor... i enjoye it a lot...
thanks to fritz, his heidi and donini, too, :))
for being part of the presentation and examples, :)
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rottingjohnny
Sport climber
mammoth lakes ca
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Apr 25, 2014 - 07:56am PT
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I have those symptoms with the urge to frequently urinate...
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tinker b
climber
the commonwealth
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Apr 25, 2014 - 08:07am PT
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i have always thought the spirits of the valley mock a poorly built smokey fire. with that there they probably mock the offenders climbing as well. it is better to skip the fire than to build a poor one.
and yes i admit i have ocas...even worse when there is a dutch oven in the picture. i refuse to get help.
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anita514
Gym climber
Great White North
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Apr 25, 2014 - 08:14am PT
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I'm guilty of this
I can't help myself, I have to fiddle and poke with fires all the time.
I thought I was alone!
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TradEddie
Trad climber
Philadelphia, PA
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Apr 25, 2014 - 08:37am PT
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Guilty as charged here too.
TE
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mike m
Trad climber
black hills
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Apr 25, 2014 - 11:53am PT
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tTHIS sYNDROME SEEMS A LITTLE FISHY ACCORDING TO sTEVE a.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Apr 25, 2014 - 12:24pm PT
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So I treated The Brit to an FA in the Cascades. I figgered that since he had come
all this way it was the least I could do. While overconfidence has never
been my strong suit I'm saying that was the case this one time. You can
draw yer own conclusions. To say we went lightly for the FA of a decent
sized Cascade wall in October might be an understatement. It was a
glorious Indian Summer so why weren't painter's pants and T-shirts appropriate?
I suppose we could have gotten up earlier, too. Anyway, to cut to the chase,
we pulled onto the summit just in time to see the sun say "See ya, suckers!"
Hmmm, maybe we should have taken headlights. Not fancying the descent in the
dark or un bivouac au natural I proposed descending a different route, not
in the direction of our camp, in hopes of finding some bushes because I had
brought some 'tches! An hour or so later we reached the bush line. It being
October they were nice and dry so it might even have been a one match start.
To say I went OCAS on that fire all bloody night would be putting it mildly.
To say I was agog as the Brit curled up in his cagoule and started stacking z's
6' from the fire would also be an understatement. Maybe he didn't want
a spark to land on his cagoule? To say that we were knackered climbing back
to the summit and down to camp without any water or food would be poetic justice.
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stunewberry
Trad climber
Spokane, WA
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Apr 25, 2014 - 12:31pm PT
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I have it bad.
Regarding bark, never burn ponderosa bark, it is where all the oil is and just spits, sparks, and smokes. Larch bark is better, it just sparks.
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Spider Savage
Mountain climber
The shaggy fringe of Los Angeles
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Apr 25, 2014 - 03:53pm PT
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Larch bark is pretty good (tammarack). Heated my home in Pullman all winter on larch logs off of Moosecow mountain BITD. Never worried about the bark on those.
Some trees like the California Bay Laurel, it seems the bark encourages combustion. You can match light some of the smaller pieces.
Mostly bark, while attached to the log is a liability. Pines, cedars, fir, oak, especially redwood logs just cause excessive smoke, which is very bad style for anyone who cares about a good campfire.
True that bark, separated from the log, and dry, will act as perfectly good fuel in a real hot fire.
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LilaBiene
Trad climber
Technically...the spawning grounds of Yosemite
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Apr 25, 2014 - 03:54pm PT
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They don't call it "tending the campfire" without reason. I don't need another syndrome!!!
Darn it, Spider, I had go read what a "log cabin" fire structure is all about. Trying to reserve room in the cranium these days for knots!
Tks for a good chuckle, Fritz. ")
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Apr 25, 2014 - 04:04pm PT
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Met a guy at Indian Creek who had an active distaste for campfires....he kind of gave me the willies.
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HighTraverse
Trad climber
Bay Area
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Apr 25, 2014 - 04:29pm PT
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Promethean
connecting with your inner self
you aren't entirely human if you don't
and it's not Just For Men
"even" my wife does it
even butt's in to do it!
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Fritz
Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 25, 2014 - 08:44pm PT
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moosedrool! I suppose it just didn't seem right to use some of that vodka as "Indian-Magic." to start a fire? It's been 45 years, but we only managed to get a fire started on a cold wet Oct. night in central Idaho with a couple cups of Coleman fuel aka "Indian-Magic."
You do need to be carefull about the amount applied.
During this burning session at "the ranchette" brush-burning barrel, I filled the barrel with sagebrush trimmings, and leaves, then dribbled a little old chain-saw gas over the pile.
I tossed a match in from 5 or 6 feet back, and prudently ran for my life.
The gas had mostly dribbled down to the bottom of the pile, while I capped the gas can, lit the match and tossed it.
The bottom-up WHHHHOOOOOMP-explosion! blew everything in the barrel about 5 feet in the air.
Yep! "Indian-Magic" is pretty fun stuff, if you don't have great need for your eyebrows or hair.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Apr 25, 2014 - 08:48pm PT
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Moosie, yer a true Polak - you wouldn't waste a drop on starting the fire! :-)
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Apr 25, 2014 - 08:49pm PT
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Still snowing, I'll play...C4 is a great fire starter, burns real slow so no running needed. You can also warm up your Dinty Moore Beef Stew with it.
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Ricky D
Trad climber
Sierra Westside
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Apr 25, 2014 - 08:49pm PT
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So this is what my wife has!
All these years and I just thought she was some closet pyro who couldn't sit still for 2 minutes without f*#king with the goddamn fire!
Just let it burn would you - that's what fire is good at doing - it doesn't need your constant "help".
So now we have a name - is there a pill I can give her?
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jgill
Boulder climber
Colorado
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Apr 25, 2014 - 08:55pm PT
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You have far too much time on your hands, Fritz. Try volunteer work.
;>)
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Rollover
climber
Gross Vegas
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Apr 25, 2014 - 09:04pm PT
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So now I beg to ask...
When you start a fire...
Teepee or Log Cabin??
:)
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LilaBiene
Trad climber
Technically...the spawning grounds of Yosemite
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Apr 25, 2014 - 10:19pm PT
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I'm still boggled by the log cabin thing...lol. Sure isn't how my Irish grandpa taught me how to build a fire, and I haven't let him down yet. ")
But (and I'm sure I'm going to get schooled but good, here) it seems to use an awful lot wood, no? And usually when it comes time to build the campfire, I'm exhausted, ravenous and cold -- just how long does it take to build one of those log cabin set-ups?!
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Ricky D
Trad climber
Sierra Westside
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Apr 25, 2014 - 10:29pm PT
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Log cabin fires were THE go-to structures during my formative Boy Scout years.
Then our summer camp hired a kid majoring in Middle Eastern History.
He called them "Ziggurats" just to mess with us.
We burned his cabin down in response.
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mike m
Trad climber
black hills
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Apr 27, 2014 - 12:48am PT
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Jack has it.
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johntp
Trad climber
socal
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Apr 27, 2014 - 04:43am PT
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A campfire is just caveman TV. Best show ever, too.;-)
So true.
I'm afflicted as well and have the sleeve burns to prove it.
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mike m
Trad climber
black hills
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Apr 27, 2014 - 07:52am PT
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A true measure of this syndrome is to count the holes in a man(or woman's) down coat.
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Apr 27, 2014 - 11:31am PT
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Always have duct tape with you....it's your friend!
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MH2
climber
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Apr 27, 2014 - 12:48pm PT
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No.
Fire is my friend.
During the long cold winters of childhood I learned respect for fire.
We gathered wood.
We gathered stones. We had to rent a truck.
Father taught us how to place 2 logs so they could burn without adjustment, slowly leaning toward each other as they burned.
Whoops! Forgot that this was about campfires. It was my brother who moved on to bonfires.
My campfire experience is mainly with 1 to 4 person fires.
They can be hard to start. It was the cold wet middle of nowhere, here, and we used an old bus transfer.
Once a campfire is started, you may not need to adjust it at all. Just let it live its life.
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SC seagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz CA
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Apr 27, 2014 - 12:53pm PT
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^^^^^^Wow...that is some beautiful fires and fire places
Susan
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philo
Trad climber
Is that light the end of the tunnel or a train?
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Apr 27, 2014 - 12:53pm PT
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Hey that fire looks like it needs some poking. :-)
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steveA
Trad climber
Wolfeboro, NH
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Apr 27, 2014 - 01:09pm PT
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Great thread!
I'm guilty of it as well. Fun to see so many of my compatriots in the photo's.
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KabalaArch
Trad climber
Starlite, California
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Apr 27, 2014 - 07:38pm PT
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The Boy Scouts teach you how to start your fire with just 1 match – tepee, log cabin; freeform, for that matter.
Of course, a little “Boy Scout Juice” always helps; know how to make a cat go “wooof!?”
M80's help with Yosemite bear deterrence. But dynamite is a cold word even the devil respects.
Kegley's tossing Budweiser cans into the fire – which we'd carried up the trail, BTW. “How else can you have this much fun for fity cents?”...as the beer bombs rocket red glare.
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TimH
Trad climber
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Apr 27, 2014 - 09:41pm PT
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Still snowing, I'll play...C4 is a great fire starter, burns real slow so no running needed. You can also warm up your Dinty Moore Beef Stew with it.
Trying to put it out by stepping on it might not be such a good idea.
Although I used to toss sabot petals from 105mm tank ammunition into burn barrels at Grafenwoehr Germany, BITD. Since they were magnesium, it made for a quick way to turn night into day.
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LilaBiene
Trad climber
Technically...the spawning grounds of Yosemite
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BBST
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Fritz
Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 1, 2016 - 04:55pm PT
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LilaBriene! Thanks for the bump. WTF does BBST stand for?
Best by Super Topo? Likely not.
We had some major campfires at the ST City of Rocks Get Together in 2014, but they happened after my camera was sleeping.
The fire cast enough light for the mystery midnight climber to operate on the rock.
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Reeotch
climber
4 Corners Area
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ho man!
I've got it, bad . . .
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Bushman
Social climber
Elk Grove, California
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6 Rules of Campfire Etiquette
1. Spit 100 proof liquor into the fire
2. Show your girlfriend how to pick up hot stones out of the fire pit
3. Run bare foot and trip as you atempt to leap over the fire
4. Ask a fellow camper to allow you to place your blistered foot in their melted icechest water
5. Feign indifference when your girlfriend sleeps in your best friend's tent
6. Refrain from histrionics as you attempt to dance with a bear
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