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Messages 1 - 47 of total 47 in this topic |
Miltch
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 21, 2014 - 01:40pm PT
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ha! I need to find this guy lol
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HighDesertDJ
Trad climber
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Feb 21, 2014 - 01:43pm PT
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Top Rope Anchors 101
Posted on February 7, 2014
It was an unusually warm day today and I wanted to go out climbing, but surprise, surprise, everyone who I know that climbs wasn’t picking up their phones… Anyway, I just wanted to reflect on something that happened last fall. I was at our local crag, setting up a top rope on one of the crack climbs here (this is different than most outdoor/gym climbing, because you actually stick your hands inside of the rock), and noticed there was a group top roping a route next to mine, using only 2 quick draws?! Is this normal? This did not seem safe at all. They had one quick draw on each bolt, but all of the carabiners were NON LOCKING! This doesn’t seem safe to me because its quite easy for these carabiners to unclip the rope in the event of a fall.
I believe in being “bomb proof”, so I try to make a top rope anchor that can survive a number of catastrophes, something like this:
This way, I can keep myself, and others safe, and not have to worry about the rope unclipping itself.
Please, before you go out trying to top rope, learn how to be safe first!
Be safe, have fun, “send” me your thoughts! (get it?)
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apogee
climber
Technically expert, safe belayer, can lead if easy
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Feb 21, 2014 - 01:47pm PT
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Posted on February 5, 2014
"So… as most of you know, I climbed my first 5.12 recently."
Yes! Yes!
I think I learned about it first via skywriter...
Or was it the blimp?
Or the flyer I found under my windshield?
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this just in
climber
north fork
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Feb 21, 2014 - 01:47pm PT
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This could mean that if your climber falls, you wont have enough grip to catch them, or worse, could mean 4th degree burns on your hands
I try not to make fun of Noobs, but this is classic. He's talking about wearing leather gloves while belaying. Burning your hands is always worse than your partner decking.
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ncrockclimber
climber
The Desert Oven
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Feb 21, 2014 - 01:56pm PT
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I said this on MP.com, and I will say it here; this blog is an elaborate troll. There is no way it is real. Read it carefully. It is GOLD, PURE GOLD!
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Heyzeus
climber
Hollywood,Ca
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Feb 21, 2014 - 01:58pm PT
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This can't be for real...........can it? No, please tell me it hasn't really come to this.
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limpingcrab
Trad climber
the middle of CA
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Feb 21, 2014 - 02:02pm PT
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I hope it's real, it's wonderful
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this just in
climber
north fork
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Feb 21, 2014 - 02:05pm PT
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Matt is this your blog? Good on ya
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Miltch
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 21, 2014 - 02:06pm PT
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I have seen people like this... they do exist.. don't know where he's from but if it's some small isolated county in the middle of nowhere with a 40ft outcrop off rock... its possible..
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ncrockclimber
climber
The Desert Oven
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Feb 21, 2014 - 02:09pm PT
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Look at the post on "Safety..."
http://rockclimbinglife.wordpress.com/page/2/
In discussing carabiners he says, "Look for ones that have screw gates for safety, like this one:"
The picture is of a carabiner with a "not for climbing" stamp.
The site is a troll, a very elaborate and well done troll.
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curt wohlgemuth
Social climber
Bay Area, California
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Feb 21, 2014 - 02:14pm PT
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This is just awesome.
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this just in
climber
north fork
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Feb 21, 2014 - 02:15pm PT
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Yeah it's a troll and it got me. Funny sh#t, either way.
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Fletcher
Gym climber
A very quiet place
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Feb 21, 2014 - 02:36pm PT
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The guy in the video he posted is... ah... let me say... entertaining.
I wonder if the whole blog is a troll. It's just too consistently entertaining. To good to be true often is. ;-)
Eric
P.S. Yes, I got sucked in!
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Highlife
Trad climber
California
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Feb 21, 2014 - 02:52pm PT
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certainly a fake but a very good one. The devils in the details, like how he set his own 5.12! There are some pretty funny comments on his posts, got a couple people to bite.
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Miltch
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 21, 2014 - 02:56pm PT
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I often set boulder problems for myself... but usually get other people to grade them first after 3 or 4 sends. what a goon.
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RyanD
climber
Squamish
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Feb 21, 2014 - 02:57pm PT
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The comments people have left on some of the posts are pure gold.
I agree, best climbing site around LOL. F*#k this place is hilarious today.
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
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Feb 21, 2014 - 03:21pm PT
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love the enthusiasm.
bit overkill on that anchor, but whatever floats yer boat.
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neversummer
climber
30 mins. from suicide USA
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Feb 21, 2014 - 03:22pm PT
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. I quickly excelled at the sport and found myself instructing people on such things as Top Roping, Bouldering, Knot Tying, and Safety. Recently, I have further grown as a rock climber and have taken my sport to new heights: Outside! Words cannot express how great it is to be outdoors on the rocks and being an example and inspiration to the climbing community.
GOLD
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Miltch
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 21, 2014 - 03:35pm PT
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neversummer.... you're not related to Wesley Summer are you?
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neversummer
climber
30 mins. from suicide USA
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Feb 21, 2014 - 03:55pm PT
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who?
oh wait..i get it.
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Vitaliy M.
Mountain climber
San Francisco
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Feb 21, 2014 - 05:27pm PT
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example and inspiration to the climbing community.
This world already has me! This dude got to back the f*#k off!!!
On the side note, I can't believe how many people here did not get the humor right away! Funny blog.
◾Climbers love music. It has been my experience that you almost always hear music at the crags. But before you blast Dr. Dre on your portable speaker, make sure you ask everyone at the crag what their taste in music is. You don’t want to play Hip Hop if the other group at the cliff prefers Jazz. An easy way to accommodate everyone, I’ve found, is to swap out iPods every half hour or so. This way everyone gets to hear their own music at least once.
LOLOLOL Have a blast with accommodating me. I listen to Slipknot.
EDIT: I read more of his blog, and not everything is funny. This guy sounds serious too. If it is a troll it is a good one. If he believes in everything that he writes, it is still funny.
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Batrock
Trad climber
Burbank
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Feb 21, 2014 - 05:34pm PT
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"dirt me!"
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jgill
Boulder climber
Colorado
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Feb 21, 2014 - 06:19pm PT
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Amusing no matter what it is.
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sDawg
climber
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Feb 21, 2014 - 07:05pm PT
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I wish I believed this was a troll, but the existence of terrifying safety advice is irresponsible if so. That said, it is hilarious and I try to believe it's a troll as much as possible so I don't have to imagine ever meeting this dude.
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HighDesertDJ
Trad climber
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Feb 21, 2014 - 08:44pm PT
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The "I sent my first 5.12 and so I posted about it on the gym bulletin board" was brilliant. I was gunning for prank or downs syndrome at that point.
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Braunini
Big Wall climber
cupertino
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Feb 21, 2014 - 08:50pm PT
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I'm.....not convinced it's a troll
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Ottawa Doug
Social climber
Ottawa, Canada
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Feb 21, 2014 - 09:11pm PT
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This guy says to use daisy chains to clip into anchors to be safe. This is exactly the kind of idiot who will die by doing it incorrectly!
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j-tree
Big Wall climber
Classroom to crag to summer camp
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Feb 21, 2014 - 09:12pm PT
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You’ll hear a lot of climbers use the term, “core”. This is used to describe the fact that a lot of climbing uses the muscles in the middle of your body. But climbing itself does not work out these muscles.
Not sure if troll or just stupid.
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Chewybacca
Trad climber
Montana, Whitefish
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Feb 21, 2014 - 09:25pm PT
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The blog itself is pretty funny. But this video posted by a commenter had me laughing so hard my eyes were leaking.
[Click to View YouTube Video]
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j-tree
Big Wall climber
Classroom to crag to summer camp
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Feb 21, 2014 - 09:25pm PT
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Looks like Johnny Y on MP did some research up show the guy is either a troll or stealing images and such due to being unethical
Jacob Smith wrote:
Some of the comments do seem to give it away, which saddens me, i want to live in a world where this person exists.
Looks like the photo from Progression is from Elevation Place in Canmore Canada
And the grigri belayer in the first post is definitely not him: wrong belaying technique
And the guy on Getting Lucky... yea, Steve, back in 2009
There is no silver bullet yet but yea this person probably doesn't exist and I am terribly saddened.
http://www.mountainproject.com/v/greatestclimbingblogever/108680123#a_108680279
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Vitaliy M.
Mountain climber
San Francisco
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Feb 21, 2014 - 10:07pm PT
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Not to be a Sherlock Holmez wanna be, but someone (with no previous pots on MP) posted a thread about this blog 8 hours ago on MP. Miltch (was on ST for less than a month) posted it to SP at about the same time. Names of these threads are very similar. I would not be surprised if Miltch and person who started the thread on MP are the same person, and a creator of this masterpiece.
Anyway, hope to see more LULZY posts by the blogger..
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ncrockclimber
climber
The Desert Oven
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Feb 21, 2014 - 10:17pm PT
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I thought the same thing. WHOEVER created this, CHEERS! It is a masterpiece.
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Miltch
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 24, 2014 - 02:14pm PT
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wow.... two new posts.
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chill
climber
between the flat part and the blue wobbly thing
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Feb 24, 2014 - 03:09pm PT
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A very elaborate joke. I suppose the idea is that we will feel superior to this noob and write withering condemnations, while the person that created it snickers. Hilarious.
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Miltch
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 24, 2014 - 03:21pm PT
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its either real, or just meant to be funny. Either way, I wouldn't mind reading his posts when i need a laugh.
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whitemeat
Big Wall climber
San Luis Obispo, CA
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Feb 24, 2014 - 06:39pm PT
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Learn your commands! Nothing will make you stand out more as a noobie than not knowing your climbing commands. Climbers have their own language, and it’s best to learn it ahead of time so you don’t look foolish. When you start to climb, turn to your partner and say, “Climbing”, then he/she should respond, “Belaying”. If you need to rest after a hard move, let your partner know by saying, “Rest”. This lets him know to sit on the rope to make it tight so that you do not lose upward progress. They should respond with something like, “Static”, so that you know that the rope is now tight and you can rest. When you continue climbing, repeat “Climbing”, and your partner should repeat “Belaying”. Other commands are: “Watch me”, to indicate you are doing a hard move. “Dirt me”, to indicate you are ready to be lowered to the ground (dirt). “Come on!”, to cheer on a climber. “Sent”, a way of saying you got to the top of a route. There are hundreds more, and I will list all of them in a later post.
those are some real funny climbing commands, the next time I go top roping I am going to have to scream "dirt me" to indicate I want down!!!!
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Guangzhou
Trad climber
Asia, Indonesia, East Java
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Feb 24, 2014 - 07:38pm PT
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I love the humor too. Just hope a non climber getting started doesn't take this as serious. Could get someone in alot of trouble.
Of course, the net is full of trouble for those who don't know better.
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j-tree
Big Wall climber
Classroom to crag to summer camp
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Feb 24, 2014 - 07:58pm PT
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I had no idea there was an official climber term for cheering a climbing on. "Come on" you say?
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neversummer
climber
30 mins. from suicide USA
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Feb 24, 2014 - 08:05pm PT
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Since there is no rock climbing in the middle east, I feel like building these giant climbing gyms will finally bring in some much needed tourist dollars to the war torn region. And best of all, gives us climbers a reason to travel to the middle east, since as we all know, we can’t go anywhere unless we know there’s climbing nearby!
I for one, am looking forward to checking out Iran’s route setting!
SOLID GOLD.
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NutAgain!
Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
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Feb 25, 2014 - 12:42am PT
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don’t let climbing sandbaggery get you down. It’s their issues, not yours. Believe in yourself!
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hagerty
Social climber
A Sandy Area South of a Salty Lake
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Feb 28, 2014 - 02:43pm PT
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Hey gang! Today he posted replies to some of the comments he's been getting! Another collection of gems!
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scuffy b
climber
heading slowly NNW
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Feb 28, 2014 - 02:51pm PT
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Thanks, Chewybacca.
The assisted dyno, belayer crashing through the brush...
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chill
climber
between the flat part and the blue wobbly thing
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Feb 28, 2014 - 03:23pm PT
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It’s nice to know I have fans out in Sydney! I love Kiwis, and hope to visit some day! OK, this guy is pretty funny.
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Vitaliy M.
Mountain climber
San Francisco
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Feb 28, 2014 - 03:33pm PT
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This "dude" should get a supertopo account. Would be a real good fit for him.
Keepin it real
Wes
LOL
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