How do you become one of the grates?

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ozborne2

Trad climber
Merced, Ca
Topic Author's Original Post - May 4, 2013 - 12:11pm PT
Im 16 years old and the only thing I am interested in is climbing. Clubbing is my life, I know it is but the only problem I have is Im not around it to often. Even tho I live two houses a way from some of the best climbing in the world,Yosemite, I find it hard to achieve what I what and know is possible. I climb is because I want to become one of the best in the history of climbing. So if you have any suggestions about this let me know.
Thanks
The grotto
The grotto
Credit: ozborne2
locker

Social climber
Some Rehab in Bolivia
May 4, 2013 - 12:12pm PT


First, learn how to spell...



Second, take another "TROLL" class...

You got jipped on your first one!!!...

;-)

10b4me

Ice climber
Soon 2B Arizona
May 4, 2013 - 12:17pm PT
You have to be cast in iron first, and don't mind getting run over by cars
Jingy

climber
Somewhere out there
May 4, 2013 - 12:24pm PT
As a general rule you'd prefer to be flat as possible and have plenty of edged holes in you to allow the cheese of life to squish through you. This is how people came up with the term "shredded". He shredded on Midnight Lightening.
Second rule: Don't store yourself in water. It is possible to become rusted and hazardous to use when this happens.
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
May 4, 2013 - 12:27pm PT
Even Royal took lessons from Arthur Murray; but he didn't get gypped.

Get a mentoroll. Almost 75% guaranteed results, according to Trolling Times' survey...

I'd suggest Locker-Goulet, if he's around.
locker

Social climber
Some Rehab in Bolivia
May 4, 2013 - 12:28pm PT

Jingy is correct!!!...

...

Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
May 4, 2013 - 12:30pm PT
Yous guys are assuming that Ozzie aspires to being walked on his whole life. What if he apires to culinary grateness?
locker

Social climber
Some Rehab in Bolivia
May 4, 2013 - 12:31pm PT


Someone ALWAYS has to come along and complicate matters...

GRATE!!!...

kennyt

climber
Woodfords,California
May 4, 2013 - 12:33pm PT
sixteen? yer to late. stick with the clubbing
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
May 4, 2013 - 12:40pm PT
Reilly, remember the time you were barred from the Grate Wall Restaurant in Banff? Of course you wouldn't.
locker

Social climber
Some Rehab in Bolivia
May 4, 2013 - 12:42pm PT

Last night I ate some greight brownies...

and this morning I feel like a ZOMBIE...

I think I'll go "CLUBBING" and sea how many SEELS I can kill...


kaholatingtong

Trad climber
Nevada City
May 4, 2013 - 12:43pm PT
damn, they sell alcohol to 16 year olds now?
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
May 4, 2013 - 12:47pm PT
Eight great brownies
Sittin' in a box.
Along comes a climber
And picks their locks.
When he shoed be changing
His smelly old socks.
Credit: mouse from merced
Cragman

Trad climber
June Lake, California....via the Damascus Road
May 4, 2013 - 12:56pm PT
To truly achieve grateness, you must follow in the path of the grategooglymoogly.....you must rap the Nose.

"All the grates have done it." WBraun
Ron Anderson

Trad climber
Soon to be Nipple suckling Liberal
May 4, 2013 - 12:58pm PT
buwahahahaaaaa^^^ der it iz!
Ed Hartouni

Trad climber
Livermore, CA
May 4, 2013 - 01:07pm PT
go out an have fun...
...repeat
moosedrool

climber
Stair climber, lost, far away from Poland
May 4, 2013 - 02:27pm PT
The Grotto???

Choss is bad for you. Find some limestone in Yosemite, boy.

Otherwise,

YGD!!!

I am joking, of course. I am the greatest because I climb in a gym. Modesto gym should be a block away from you, small place, but beats the outdoors fer sure. Remember, always use protection!
ozborne2

Trad climber
Merced, Ca
Topic Author's Reply - May 4, 2013 - 03:01pm PT
I have been going to that gym for about 10 years know.
real fun
rmuir

Social climber
From the Time Before the Rocks Cooled.
May 4, 2013 - 04:30pm PT
"...two houses away from Yosemite."

<snicker>Nice one.</snicker>
Jon Beck

Trad climber
Oceanside
May 4, 2013 - 05:09pm PT
Go to C4, ask Crater James for some pointers, he is on the grateness fast track
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
May 4, 2013 - 06:03pm PT
Harding:
So farewell—to the little free climbs that I do.
Farewell? a long farewell to all my grateness!
This is the state of man: to-day he goes forth
To awkward nailing and choss, to-morrow sublime moves,
And bears his bleeding gobies thick upon him;
The third day comes a Frost, a drilling Frost,
And when he thinks, good easy man, full surely
His grateness is a-ripening, nips his route,
And then he falls as I do.

Dolt:
I see.


Harding The First Act 3, scene 2, 506-512
mooser

Trad climber
seattle
May 4, 2013 - 06:05pm PT
First...buy a rugby shirt.
Mungeclimber

Trad climber
the crowd MUST BE MOCKED...Mocked I tell you.
May 4, 2013 - 08:57pm PT
only post for partners or pictures to lure partners out.


Train and climb hard.


avoid expensive women
crunch

Social climber
CO
May 4, 2013 - 08:58pm PT
Lots of good advice. Dude should be grateful....
moosedrool

climber
Stair climber, lost, far away from Poland
May 4, 2013 - 09:04pm PT
you are welcome!
locker

Social climber
Some Rehab in Bolivia
May 4, 2013 - 09:22pm PT


Pink Graitfruits are one of my favorites...
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
May 4, 2013 - 09:26pm PT
avoid expensive women

Amendment A:
Unless they also happen to be, uh, well-endowed, so to speak.
locker

Social climber
Some Rehab in Bolivia
May 4, 2013 - 09:27pm PT


The GREIGHTIST!!!...

...

Ed Hartouni

Trad climber
Livermore, CA
May 4, 2013 - 09:43pm PT
when you find out, maybe you could get us all a gig...

splitter

Trad climber
SoCal Hodad, surfing the galactic plane
May 4, 2013 - 09:48pm PT
How do you become one of the grates?
Be humble...

'The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.'
Jingy

climber
Somewhere out there
May 4, 2013 - 09:49pm PT
To be honest….


I haven't become one of the grates….


So I can't say what it takes to become one, but only emphasize what it does not take to become one of the grates.

Ask one of the grates.
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
May 4, 2013 - 10:44pm PT
You must attempt to solo ridiculously hard routes and arrange so that when you fall and die they put you in a simple wooden box.



You will then be one of the crates.
couchmaster

climber
pdx
May 4, 2013 - 11:09pm PT
I'd study what John Bachar did. As a pup that's exactly what he said. Then he did it. He was already pretty solid when he was 16. He had to figure it out on his own, you can basically follow his training path and what worked for him.

Good luck and have fun!!!
The Warbler

climber
the edge of America
May 4, 2013 - 11:15pm PT
Do something different than everyone else, and do it well.
climbski2

Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
May 5, 2013 - 01:27am PT
Rudyard Kipling


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!
moosedrool

climber
Stair climber, lost, far away from Poland
May 5, 2013 - 02:57am PT
Damn, Climbski, I can't claim even half of that list.

I am just a man. And that's OK.
Wayno

Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
May 5, 2013 - 03:05am PT
It all sounds iffy to me.
madbolter1

Big Wall climber
Denver, CO
May 5, 2013 - 04:00am PT
avoid expensive women

Indeed... cheap women are best
DanaB

climber
CT
May 5, 2013 - 09:41am PT
Do something different than everyone else, and do it well.

I disagree. Everyone is trying to be different. The real way to be unique is to be like everyone else.
climbski2

Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
May 5, 2013 - 10:35am PT
I'd shorten it .. do something well consistantly. That's plenty different.
Srbphoto

climber
Kennewick wa
May 5, 2013 - 11:15am PT
Move to Boulder

Everyone is great in Boulder

Just ask them
Bill Mc Kirgan

Trad climber
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
May 5, 2013 - 11:40am PT
SEAK AND STUDY THE NOLEGE OF WELD_IT ON THIS FOREM.
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
May 5, 2013 - 12:57pm PT
"A Boy and His Dog" with a twist.
"A Boy and His Dog" with a twist.
Credit: mouse from merced
Get a really hard pussy-cat and act like that.
If they had any brains...
If they had any brains...
Credit: mouse from merced
Dingus Milktoast

Gym climber
And every fool knows, a dog needs a home, and...
May 5, 2013 - 01:02pm PT
Lots of iron. Lots of bars. Drinking from a fire hose.

DMT
Tami

Social climber
Canada
May 5, 2013 - 02:17pm PT
Grate troll :-)Yer already wunnuv the grates !!!
kennyt

climber
Woodfords,California
May 5, 2013 - 02:19pm PT
If yer evur clubbing at the emeralds u have to bee karefull they don't open the flood grates
Marlow

Sport climber
OSLO
May 5, 2013 - 02:42pm PT
Do grate reilly Count these dais? I thought't'was allahbout åsåmm.
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
May 5, 2013 - 02:53pm PT
Hey say you there get offa my blog!

neebee, yer grate now!

It must bee attitude.
Jay Wood

Trad climber
Land of God-less fools
May 5, 2013 - 07:18pm PT
Many of the grates climb with their belay devices hanging between their legs.
fosburg

climber
May 5, 2013 - 07:52pm PT
Dude, come bag the coveted 2nd ascent of our new route, Latent, the Gratin' ( a suitably abrasive body crack completed the day after the real Great'n checked out last week), you'll be well on your way.
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