learning to let go

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GDavis

Social climber
SOL CAL
Topic Author's Original Post - Dec 10, 2012 - 08:05pm PT
It's amazing what we take for granted.

There's a terrible, bullshit song about paving a paradise for a parking lot. You know, you usually hear it in elevators and at Albertsons.

It seems like we can never know what we have until its gone, and we adjust to life without.

I've learned that life is both incredibly simple and infinitely complex. Everything flows to a pattern, each day is fresh and new and each evening dark, cold and full of questions - endless questions filling your head as it lays against a lonely pillow.



There's more room in the bed now, and the cat seems to understand it is his spot. There are our things everywhere, right where we left them. They sit idle, no future just a past that their likeness scream silently as you walk by.

Things come and go, and just as the night has questions they are forgotten by the soft glow of sunrise. Each morning I'm reminded that there never was an answer, things just are. Life laps up onto shore and recedes again, endlessly over and over. For some reason we are the only species pushing against the tide and begging for it to come back again, when we need only ebb and move with it.

I keep hoping that by devoting myself wholly to climbing answers will reveal themselves. I guess I learned that some things aren't meant to be - that there will always be something] slipping through your fingers. Or someone.

Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm climbing rocks or banging my head against them.

Oh well. There's always tomorrow, and it may not be a sunny day but that doesn't matter because life is a full spectrum, and parts of it are so wonderful that losing them can be this terrible.

I think that's a good thing.
Captain...or Skully

climber
Dec 10, 2012 - 08:09pm PT
Huh?
And BTW, don't be dissin' Joni Mitchell.
Fletcher

Trad climber
The rock doesn't care what I think
Dec 10, 2012 - 08:31pm PT
Climbing is but one path to discovery. Self discovery as well as other kinds. Climbing is a good path, no doubt. Just be careful out there... no need to check your knot when meditating (at least so far for me!).

Sometimes the darkness helps enhance our appreciation of the light. And if you really go deep, even the darkness itself.

Sounds like you are in a challenging and perhaps sorrowful time. I appreciate your reflections. See them for what they are and don't grasp onto them too tightly. You own them but hang on too tightly and they might become your ball and chain. Use them instead to build/create something new and beautiful. The cat is a good start.

Hope is born of struggle.

Peace to you brother.
Donald Thompson

Trad climber
Los Angeles,CA
Dec 10, 2012 - 08:34pm PT
I like this kind of spontaneous introspection in an unpredictable social setting like the Taco.
Keep it up. Throw it out there.

Here are some alternate lyrics to the Christmas tune by Dean Martin. Sing it to that tune:
Let it Snow.......oh yeah

" Outside the weather is frightful
But inside Donald- Thompson-is-so-insightful"

Etc.
Go get it.

In the key of A.

Yes.

nita

Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
Dec 10, 2012 - 08:34pm PT
GDavis, Thoughtful post. Even if life is not going as you expected,
like you say, " There is always tomorrow."


There will be new people that walk beside you.

Wishing you well...... with the mystery of life.

Sending you this song, good music.. though the youtube uploader has lame visuals to go wtih the song.
Van Morrison...The Mystery
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHbFg1jUlaI

Give Joni another listen... She is the song writer of the song you hate......
Give this song a listen..

Joni Mitchell, Circle game.... and the seasons, they go round & round..
we're captured on a carousal of time.. We can't return, we can only look behind from where we came...
and go round and round in the circle game.

There'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty,
Before the last revolving year is through.

Best wishes..
nita
locker

Social climber
state of Kumbaya...
Dec 10, 2012 - 08:34pm PT


...


bluering

Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
Dec 10, 2012 - 08:38pm PT
Did Greg eat some Peyote? I dunno...

I have no idea how to respond, let me have another drink. What is your f*#king point again?

And i like ya, Greg. Just puzzled...
GDavis

Social climber
SOL CAL
Topic Author's Reply - Dec 10, 2012 - 08:39pm PT
Thanks Fletch (can I call you Fletch? I know a Fletcher and he's Fletch to all of us). I really appreciate your insight - there absolutely is something inviting and fantastic about the night.

I don't really have 'friends' per say, more co-workers and climbing partners. I've made a habit out of being unattached to people, and attached to my own lifestyle. Oops.

It's weird that this is the avenue I felt to vomit out my thoughts and feelings - maybe something about Supertopo being a petri dish of society and a good reality check.

I dunno. I'm always too busy trying to get a reaction from people or make them laugh, to have any kind of serious discussion about life. Somehow, when I have a keyboard and my fat head reflecting in the monitor I can say what I feel, where there is no specific audience just the general void of the Taco Stand.

As far as the Cat goes, his name is Thor and he is awesome. But I don't own him, and he, too, will leave my life shortly :(


(sorry bluey, stone-cold sober. Seems to be all I am anymore : /)

Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
Dec 10, 2012 - 08:40pm PT
Thinking of you. It is never easy. :/
Tom

Big Wall climber
San Luis Obispo CA
Dec 10, 2012 - 08:43pm PT
Yes, it is important to learn how to let go. John Dill, of YOSAR, points out that there is an art to falling, so as to minimize the chance of injury.

So, when you've burned yourself out on a long, hard pitch, and can't make it to the belay, you use what you've learned, and you let go.

TFPU
bluering

Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
Dec 10, 2012 - 08:50pm PT
(sorry bluey, stone-cold sober. Seems to be all I am anymore : /)

Nothing to apologize for. More a badge of honor, actually!

Quit being a bitch and apologizing or surrendering for certain crap. Live life like you see it! And climbing isn't the be-all, end-all! Unless that is your inspiration.


Do what you feel is right for you! Try not to be a commie, but just do what what makes you happy and can support you financially.

Do not become a commie. I like you...
GDavis

Social climber
SOL CAL
Topic Author's Reply - Dec 10, 2012 - 08:51pm PT
A few months ago a friend went through a horrible break-up. Everyone chose sides, because things were said that couldn't be un-said, etc... everything was being painted black-and-white and facts and dates became the talking points amongst the circle of friends. I just remember feeling like a wonderful thing they had was gone and that it was just sad, not frustrating or angry but genuinely sad that two people I liked couldn't make it work.

It's so awesome when you enjoy doing something and your partner does, too... really hard to find those, ya know? Mebbe I should learn to enjoy Sex and the City and drinking Long Island Iced Tea (actually that sounds awesome!)

So, when you've burned yourself out on a long, hard pitch, and can't make it to the belay, you use what you've learned, and you let go.

funny enough...

Yesterday I was out at Joshua Tree trying (lol) to lead Rubicon, got to the crux and hoorah! A fixed stopper! If nothing else, aid climbing has taught me that fixed=BOMBER so I clipped it and gunned through the difficult section only to noob up and pump out placing gear in fingerjams. Looked down at the fixed stopper, pretended I was in a Gym, and yay! Enjoyable short swinger onto mystery metal.

So yeah, learning to fall is fun! I'm quite enjoying it, but I think next time I'll fix my own gear :)
GDavis

Social climber
SOL CAL
Topic Author's Reply - Dec 10, 2012 - 08:52pm PT
Haha thanks Bluey <3 I am a capitalist, to the day I die!!!!1
Captain...or Skully

climber
Dec 10, 2012 - 08:53pm PT
Fixed does NOT equal Bomber.
GDavis

Social climber
SOL CAL
Topic Author's Reply - Dec 10, 2012 - 08:55pm PT
Don't worry it was backed up :) just a bit 'o sarcasm...
LilaBiene

Trad climber
Dec 10, 2012 - 08:56pm PT
Don't know if this helps, but I'm right there with you. Don't be afraid to access the stuff that really hurts...it's in processing this muck that you heal and become stronger.

Many very wise folks have urged me to write. It helps to get the stuff out of your head and on to paper, where it holds less of an emotional charge. (Horrifying putting it all out there, but it's like jumping into frigid water, I suppose. The faster you take a running leap, the sooner you're back on dry land.)

My best advice (and I used it myself!) is to start a list of all of the things you've missed out on doing, have always dreamed of doing, etc. Write something or more things on it every day. (It is a nifty trick to fool your brain into switching gears and looking forward.) At some point, pick the things you really want to do and start making them happen. It feels great because you are living the life YOU want to live...

Hang in there & feel free to spill. ")
Captain...or Skully

climber
Dec 10, 2012 - 08:56pm PT
Good. You don't want to be dead. Or worse.
Just checking.
graniteclimber

Trad climber
The Illuminati -- S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Division
Dec 10, 2012 - 08:57pm PT
Best post on Supertopo that I've read in weeks.
bluering

Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
Dec 10, 2012 - 09:01pm PT
Greg, nice job on Rubicon!

When it comes to job future, think about your prospects for the future economy. For me, in the 90's, it was elec manufacturing. We saw that go to China...

Just think clearly about your future. Think.

Hey younger generation, you are only hope.
GDavis

Social climber
SOL CAL
Topic Author's Reply - Dec 10, 2012 - 09:02pm PT
Or worse.

Married?

;D

Thanks for the advice, lila. Wasn't much I missed out on, though. Best year of my life, which I guess is a good thing. I'll always have those experiences and I guess some places will mean a bit more, which again seem like good things.
Lynne Leichtfuss

Sport climber
moving thru
Dec 10, 2012 - 09:05pm PT
Wow, Locker, thanks for the post. Ekat sang and played this song on her splendicious guitar in Yellow Pine at the Facelift several years ago. At least I think this was the song. Jingy was there. Actually I think she sang it at Jingy's request.

Good soul thoughts, GDavis. Worthy of reflection.

Today was today. Tomorrow may be one that gives unexpected joys....or not. Sometimes life is such a gradual uphill to joy, peace and love that as you walk the path you don't even notice you've arrived until you run smack dab into it. Then sometimes a short burst places you in Joy's lap. But Life is and we are blessed to breathe. Smiles, Lynne
John M

climber
Dec 10, 2012 - 09:06pm PT
If you have netflix I think you need to watch a really crappy movie. 2012: Ice Age.

There isn't one single commie in it.








nor is there any good acting, script writing, directing, etc..

Its perfect for a night like this. Nothing will look bad after watching this movie.


or maybe everything will when you realize someone paid good money to make this thing.

as long as there are no commies in it, what could be bad about it. eh..
toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Dec 10, 2012 - 09:21pm PT
-


maybe one of those hilarious gifs would flesh out the OP more?





Gdavis always has some great ones...


.
Fletcher

Trad climber
The rock doesn't care what I think
Dec 10, 2012 - 09:27pm PT
Fletch is fine... reminds me of Chevy Chase and all those funny movies he made.

In order to be courageous, it appears that you need to also be vulnerable in order to get there. Climbing is a good example of this (especially hard leads, soloing), but there are many other examples. People who have shared very traumatic experiences (epics, hostage, and other survival situations) are known to really bond if they get through it. In a way, in those situations, you are at your most vulnerable right in front of others.

Eric

Edit: Joni Mitchell is a long time favorite of mine. I don't always like everything she does, but a lot of it. She's a good example of a musician who grew and took risks, rather than sticking to the same old thing that worked at the start.
Lynne Leichtfuss

Sport climber
moving thru
Dec 10, 2012 - 09:29pm PT
What is it about the night? Being alone in bed, in the dark, can sometimes be a catalyst for angst and loneliness.

But when the morning star shines near the moon and dawn begins to draw the world into a brand new day it seems that one can hope again.

Jess wonderin'.....lynnie

Edit: hi Eric, hope all is well. Cheers,





Captain...or Skully

climber
Dec 10, 2012 - 09:50pm PT
The Night is not to be trusted.
T H

Boulder climber
bouldering
Dec 10, 2012 - 10:01pm PT
mountainlion

Trad climber
California
Dec 10, 2012 - 10:25pm PT
Gdavis-- Happiness is a choice so choose to be happy with whatever hand your dealt--being unhappy won't change it.

sounds like you lost someone...Forgive them for not being the way YOU wanted them to be...

forgive yourself while your at it...

Find something that you can do for someone else and feel good about it. Being a giver is COOL maybe not as lucrative as being a capitalist but way cooler than being a capitalist.

Have you ever checked out the synonyms of "to capitalize" I doubt most would want to call themselves an "exploitationist"
toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Dec 10, 2012 - 11:47pm PT
-


& get a pet monkey it will cheer you up




.
Fletcher

Trad climber
The rock doesn't care what I think
Dec 10, 2012 - 11:50pm PT
Hi back at ya Lynne! All is well and I'm enjoying it all (even when the kids are pushing all the buttons!). Good to see you here again!

Speaking of the night, there seems to be a night shift on the Taco Stand. You know who you are! I'm definitely part of that. Sometimes that extends into the Dawn Patrol!

Eric
toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Dec 10, 2012 - 11:58pm PT
-


lost monkey in Ikea parking lot, Toronto, Canada


vvv


http://www.wcyb.com/image/view/-/17717326/highRes/2/-/hsqhrd/-/IKEA-monkey-jpg.jpg


-
Jim Brennan

Trad climber
Vancouver Canada
Dec 11, 2012 - 12:41am PT
Nothing sucks anything quite so hard as a break up.


I find breakups to have changed subtly from life stopping quagmires to mild heartburn. This attitude has more to do with age than passion for the one and only, only.

As stated above, life is full of sh#t. How you take the resonance and pain going forward is a REALLY good exam !
graniteclimber

Trad climber
The Illuminati -- S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Division
Dec 11, 2012 - 12:52am PT
stich

Trad climber
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Dec 11, 2012 - 02:39am PT
Really great words there, GDavis. Thanks for putting that up. OK, I'll look for an appropriate musical choice now.



Keep expanding on that original post. I'm right there with you as well wondering what is going on. Did someone see a manual in the box? Sh#t, got thrown out!
drljefe

climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
Dec 11, 2012 - 05:12am PT
No regrets Coyote...
dirtbag

climber
Dec 11, 2012 - 05:29am PT
Wow Gdavis, quite a post.

You are definitely not alone on this one.

Leggs

Sport climber
A true CA girl, who landed in the desert...
Dec 11, 2012 - 05:46am PT
Good soul thoughts, GDavis. Worthy of reflection.

Today was today. Tomorrow may be one that gives unexpected joys....or not. Sometimes life is such a gradual uphill to joy, peace and love that as you walk the path you don't even notice you've arrived until you run smack dab into it. Then sometimes a short burst places you in Joy's lap. But Life is and we are blessed to breathe. Smiles, Lynne

Beautifully said, LL LL.

GDavis, what I'm going to say has been said many times before:
"When one door closes, another opens." Let the other open door be one you walk thru, one foot in front of the other, with hope. You never know what the future holds.

Where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure.
~Rumi

As for turning to the Taco during a tough time... I did the same thing in August. What came out of it has been two fantastic relationships with two beautiful, thoughtful human beans who I feel I've known my whole life.
You hang in there, G. (May I call you "G"?) :)

~peace, Leggs

Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
Dec 11, 2012 - 06:46am PT
Beware the pet monkey! My neighbor's monkey escaped, attacked and bit me. Scary. Scarier than the night.

I suggest a parakeet instead. :)
locker

Social climber
state of Kumbaya...
Dec 11, 2012 - 06:51am PT

I can relate...

I too recently lost a date...


















































...

locker

Social climber
state of Kumbaya...
Dec 11, 2012 - 07:13am PT


Three weeks later (after reading all that^^^)...

BASE1361

climber
Yosemite Valley National Park
Dec 11, 2012 - 07:37am PT
John Long wrote an amazing story long time ago about letting go. Maybe he can post it.
GDavis

Social climber
SOL CAL
Topic Author's Reply - Dec 11, 2012 - 07:49am PT
Thanks for sharing that story, Dingus. A roller coaster ride I haven't gotten off in a while.
SCseagoat

Trad climber
Santa Cruz
Dec 11, 2012 - 07:54am PT
I'm not especially good with words but lately some of the ST postings have been astoundingly moving and I fail in many ways to express how they have touched me. Anyway, they have! This one included. I think as we move into winter, Christmas season, end of year, shorter days, longer nights, whatever, it stirs a type of self reflection...thank you brave folks that can share it....it resonates tremendously with many of us that can't quite figure out the words.


Susan
locker

Social climber
state of Kumbaya...
Dec 11, 2012 - 07:58am PT


"A roller coaster ride I haven't gotten off in a while."...

Well then it's time to get the fuk off that one and onto another...



bixquite

Social climber
humboldt nation
Dec 11, 2012 - 08:18am PT
"walking along in the mission in in the rain"
we walk a beautiful life between the mountains and the sea, the highs being so high and the
and the wipe outs so deep. but when you stare out at the ocean and it stares back so mad and
confused, build a fire wait out the storm and watch the ocean turn that chaos into clean
pealing lines, spitting barrels and long glassy walls.
"be you in the sun or be you pack your bags and run, be there another swell coming your way"

hang loose brudah
mechrist

Gym climber
South of Heaven
Dec 11, 2012 - 09:26am PT
My friend Nick had a monkey... Fred I think... made one of the climbing mags way back... wouldn't recommend it.

Chicks are crazy and next to impossible to deal with on a daily basis. Problem is, they have all the pussy and way better tits than dudes. Stay cool, do what you love, be open, and someone will come along... but just remember, they are ALL crazy... just make sure it is nice crazy, not psycho bitch crazy. Remember, if they climb 5.12, they are most likely psycho bitch bat sh#t crazy... although the standards have changed, so the cut off could be 5.14 these days.
Paul_in_Van

Trad climber
Near Squampton
Dec 11, 2012 - 09:39am PT
^^^^^ Huh? This seemed like a nice thread until a moment ago.
mechrist

Gym climber
South of Heaven
Dec 11, 2012 - 10:10am PT
Yeah, my comments ruined this thread. Sorry Greg. I should have stuck with posting photos of used blow up dolls or bitching about being married or posting videos of lame ass love songs.

On that note... best love song ever:

N.I.B.
guyman

Social climber
Moorpark, CA.
Dec 11, 2012 - 10:10am PT
There's a terrible, bullshit song about paving a paradise for a parking lot. You know, you usually hear it in elevators and at Albertsons.

G Davis..... you should really go get that girls first 3 records and listen to what she has to say about life and things. A lot of wisdom in
her songs.

Go climbing.... get over it, it's part of life and one day you might just look back and think: "The best day of my life was the day she split town"

good luck 2 you

locker

Social climber
state of Kumbaya...
Dec 11, 2012 - 10:15am PT


"I should have stuck with posting photos of used blow up dolls"...

No shi!t!!!...



toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Dec 11, 2012 - 10:25am PT
.


Problem is, they have all the pussy


^^^^^they should carve those words on Washington's forehead on Mt Rushmore





lissen, GDavis, snap out of it! you gotta FOCUS this winter on leading HOT ROCKS at JT...make HOT ROCKS yer only purpose in life for the next 2 months! send that fukker on THE LEAD, bro! if you run out of submen send me a PM and I'll set up all comfy at the base and shriek beta while giving a casual hip belay

& if a buncha weenies are toproping it Ill fire some warning shots w/ my 9mm machinepistol and send them fleeing



.
bluering

Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
Dec 11, 2012 - 05:44pm PT
Is it just me or are stupid people who cannot use English grammar dominating the web?

This is why I'm largely a hermit. People are stupid!
Jebus H Bomz

climber
Reno, Nuh VAAAA duh
Dec 11, 2012 - 05:57pm PT
A real hermit wouldn't torture us with his idiotic posts.
GDavis

Social climber
SOL CAL
Topic Author's Reply - Dec 11, 2012 - 06:16pm PT
He might, if he had a laptop. Some caves get WiFi.
bluering

Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
Dec 11, 2012 - 07:01pm PT
A real hermit wouldn't torture us with his idiotic posts.


Do you think you're f*#king clever or something with your incessant leg-humping trolling of me?

F*#k off, bro~!
rottingjohnny

Sport climber
mammoth lakes ca
Dec 11, 2012 - 07:14pm PT
Locker...Don't fret man....You can patch things up with Green Slime....RJ
damo62

Social climber
Brisbane
Dec 11, 2012 - 08:34pm PT
Locker, are you back on the booze?
Captain...or Skully

climber
Dec 11, 2012 - 08:35pm PT
Crimpergirl is absolutely correct. The "pet" monkey is a way more serious threat than the night. At least the Night just lays there. Mostly.
toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Dec 11, 2012 - 08:41pm PT
^^^^^^^^^^



kiss your Troubles goodbye and fall in love with THE IKEA MONKEY



vvv


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4i4GNFENB0k




:/








.


toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Dec 11, 2012 - 08:44pm PT
fukking monkeys in coats are invading Canada
hellcyon

climber
Dec 11, 2012 - 08:59pm PT
Credit: hellcyon

Have fun tomorrow :) Enjoy "the morning sun on the hillside"
I'll be digging around on the other hill

Thanks for opening a window into the adventure of your soul

You know, some say there's salvation through suffering

Soul adventurers


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okFznac7Lts
Gary

Social climber
Right outside of Delacroix
Dec 11, 2012 - 09:15pm PT
Just forget the crap and direct your feet...

nita

Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
Dec 11, 2012 - 09:16pm PT
hellcyon, thanks for the reminder...

More... Bob Marley.


+



MisterE

Social climber
Dec 11, 2012 - 09:30pm PT
Sorry to hear about this Greg, but one lesson I have learned at 50:

Good things take time. I did not meet the love of my life until I was 48.

I like to think that all of that other stuff was the learning that I needed to meet the one that was right for me and NOT blow it.

If I had stayed with them, i would not have been open to that one that was the right match.

Keep the faith and have no fear of love and loss. We all feel it, it's how we choose to deal with it and how open we remain through the suffering that defines us and our future prospects.

Peace, Brother.

Erik
JOEY.F

Gym climber
It's not rocket surgery
Dec 11, 2012 - 10:29pm PT
Gdavis, you have cracked me up many times.
Others here are more eloquent, but all the best to you. Joni rules.




Jebus H Bomz

climber
Reno, Nuh VAAAA duh
Dec 12, 2012 - 07:46am PT
Do you think you're f*#king clever or something with your incessant leg-humping trolling of me?

F*#k off, bro~!


Leg humping?

Nah, I just call a clown a clown when I see him.

Clown.

See?
Jebus H Bomz

climber
Reno, Nuh VAAAA duh
Dec 12, 2012 - 07:51am PT
He might, if he had a laptop. Some caves get WiFi.


I wish he were more in the luddite mail bomb vein, maybe sending off an easily ignored manifesto every couple years.

Also, I wish I had some easy advice for ya, Greg. Climbing sounds like a good plan. Nothing's really easy anyway.
toadgas

Trad climber
los angeles
Dec 12, 2012 - 08:03am PT
Nothing's really easy anyway.

Word.



"...dust in the Wind...all we are is Dust in the Wind..."


vvv

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QILiHiTD3uc


-
guyman

Social climber
Moorpark, CA.
Dec 12, 2012 - 08:33am PT
Davis... Piece of advise for you.

When you hit that crux on Rubicon. Look down and way out to the right -

you will see a small, but good, foothold-edge... stand on it, use it...

sometimes the solution is hard to spot while your struggling.

Good luck.

Guy Keesee
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