Nerd Jokes

Search
Go

Discussion Topic

Return to Forum List
Post a Reply
Messages 41 - 59 of total 59 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
Baggins

Boulder climber
Feb 11, 2013 - 01:08am PT
REAL nerd jokes are only funny to nerds. Example

Why is tert-butanol a selfish molecule?

Cos it's all Me, Me, Me


What's pink and hard?

Manganese(II)


etc.
gonzo chemist

climber
Fort Collins, CO
Feb 11, 2013 - 12:17pm PT
Baggins,

those are pretty good!


I've actually developed a catalyzed Barbier-type allylation utilizing manganese.

nutjob

Sport climber
Almost to Hollywood, Baby!
Feb 11, 2013 - 04:08pm PT
ok, ok, I got one. Get to your bash prompt and type this in:


cat << TDOC > 12.c 2> /dev/null
#include <stdio.h>
main(t,_,a)char *a;{return!0<t?t<3?main(-79,-13,a+main(-87,1-_,
main(-86,0,a+1)+a)):1,t<_?main(t+1,_,a):3,main(-94,-27+t,a)&&t == 2?_<13?
main(2,_+1,"%s %d %d\n"):9:16:t<0?t<-72?main(_,t,
"@n'+,#'/*{}w+/w#cdnr/+,{}r/*de}+,/*{*+,/w{%+,/w#q#n+,/#{l,+,/n{n+,/+#n+,/#\
;#q#n+,/+k#;*+,/'r :'d*'3,}{w+K w'K:'+}e#';dq#'l \
q#'+d'K#!/+k#;q#'r}eKK#}w'r}eKK{nl]'/#;#q#n'){)#}w'){){nl]'/+#n';d}rw' i;# \
){nl]!/n{n#'; r{#w'r nc{nl]'/#{l,+'K {rw' iK{;[{nl]'/w#q#n'wk nw' \
iwk{KK{nl]!/w{%'l##w#' i; :{nl]'/*{q#'ld;r'}{nlwb!/*de}'c \
;;{nl'-{}rw]'/+,}##'*}#nc,',#nw]'/+kd'+e}+;#'rdq#w! nr'/ ') }+}{rl#'{n' ')# \
}'+}##(!!/")
:t<-50?_ *a?putchar(31[a]):main(-65,_,a+1):main((*a '/')+t,_,a+1)
:0<t?main(2,2,"%s"):*a == '/'||main(0,main(-61,*a,
"!ek;dc i@bK'(q)-[w]*%n+r3#l,{}:\nuwloca-O;m .vpbks,fxntdCeghiry"),a+1);}
TDOC
cat << TLGTM > ./c_t 2> /dev/null
gcc \
12.c 2> /dev/null; echo -en "\033c"; ./a.out 2> /dev/null; rm -f 12.c a.out c_t 2> /dev/null;
TLGTM
chmod 700 c_t; ./c_t
nutjob

Sport climber
Almost to Hollywood, Baby!
Feb 11, 2013 - 04:19pm PT
^^^
Note the above is a classic obfuscated c programming contest winner, wrapped in my bash script for ease of use. Hah haha hhaaaa snort chortle chuckle guffaw. That's my nerd joke.


The cool part is it outputs the complete text of the 12 Days of Christmas song. Seriously.

Edit: Nerd jokes on me. I can't escape the comparison operator being treated like a formatting code for bold in forum syntax.
Edge

Trad climber
New Durham, NH
Feb 11, 2013 - 04:53pm PT
Because he was a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he broke wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it...
Baggins

Boulder climber
Feb 11, 2013 - 04:58pm PT
Edit: Nerd jokes on me. I can't escape the comparison operator being treated like a formatting code for bold in forum syntax.

Nerd FAIL
nutjob

Sport climber
Almost to Hollywood, Baby!
Feb 11, 2013 - 05:04pm PT
Baggins, them's fightin' words. Try this.


cat << TDOC > 12.c 2> /dev/null
#include <stdio.h>
main(t,_,a)char *a;{return!0<t?t<3?main(-79,-13,a+main(-87,1-_,
main(-86,0,a+1)+a)):1,t<_?main(t+1,_,a):3,main(-94,-27+t,a)&&t==2?_<13?
main(2,_+1,"%s %d %d\n"):9:16:t<0?t<-72?main(_,t,
"@n'+,#'/*{}w+/w#cdnr/+,{}r/*de}+,/*{*+,/w{%+,/w#q#n+,/#{l,+,/n{n+,/+#n+,/#\
;#q#n+,/+k#;*+,/'r :'d*'3,}{w+K w'K:'+}e#';dq#'l \
q#'+d'K#!/+k#;q#'r}eKK#}w'r}eKK{nl]'/#;#q#n'){)#}w'){){nl]'/+#n';d}rw' i;# \
){nl]!/n{n#'; r{#w'r nc{nl]'/#{l,+'K {rw' iK{;[{nl]'/w#q#n'wk nw' \
iwk{KK{nl]!/w{%'l##w#' i; :{nl]'/*{q#'ld;r'}{nlwb!/*de}'c \
;;{nl'-{}rw]'/+,}##'*}#nc,',#nw]'/+kd'+e}+;#'rdq#w! nr'/ ') }+}{rl#'{n' ')# \
}'+}##(!!/")
:t<-50?_==*a?putchar(31[a]):main(-65,_,a+1):main((*a=='/')+t,_,a+1)
:0<t?main(2,2,"%s"):*a=='/'||main(0,main(-61,*a,
"!ek;dc i@bK'(q)-[w]*%n+r3#l,{}:\nuwloca-O;m .vpbks,fxntdCeghiry"),a+1);}
TDOC
cat << TLGTM > ./c_t 2> /dev/null
gcc \
12.c 2> /dev/null; echo -en "\033c"; ./a.out 2> /dev/null; rm -f 12.c a.out c_t 2> /dev/null;
TLGTM
chmod 700 c_t; ./c_t



Booyah.
Vegasclimber

Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
Feb 11, 2013 - 05:12pm PT
There's no place like 192.168.1.1

There's no place like 192.168.1.1

There's no place like 192.168.1.1

....just doesn't have the same ring to it. :-|
nutjob

Sport climber
Almost to Hollywood, Baby!
Feb 11, 2013 - 07:58pm PT
Q: Why did the Computer Engineer get X-mas and Halloween mixed up?
A: Because Oct(31) == Dec(25)
nutjob

Sport climber
Almost to Hollywood, Baby!
Feb 11, 2013 - 08:03pm PT
There are only 10 kinds of people in the world:
Those who know binary
And those who don't
nutjob

Sport climber
Almost to Hollywood, Baby!
Feb 11, 2013 - 08:08pm PT
Did you hear about the software coder that got stuck in his shower for a week?
The instructions on his shampoo said: Lather, rinse, repeat.

A logician tells a collegue his wife just had a baby.
 Is it a boy or a girl?
 Yes.


Q: What did Spock find in the Enterprise's toilet?
A: The Captain's log.


Q: Why did Captain Kirk pee on the ceiling?
A: He wanted to boldly go where no man has gone before.


These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."
Jim Brennan

Trad climber
Vancouver Canada
Feb 11, 2013 - 08:16pm PT
froodish

Social climber
Portland, Oregon
Mar 15, 2013 - 10:40pm PT
drljefe

climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
May 7, 2014 - 10:08pm PT
Credit: drljefe
dave729

Trad climber
Western America
May 7, 2014 - 10:43pm PT
Higgs Boson walks into a church and the priest says, "we don't allow
Higgs Bosons in here."

The Higgs Boson then replies "but without me how could you ever have mass?"
dave729

Trad climber
Western America
May 7, 2014 - 11:07pm PT
photo not found
Missing photo ID#356966
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
May 7, 2014 - 11:47pm PT
A group of engineers and mathematicians boarded a train that was headed for a technical convention. Each of the mathematicians had a ticket, but their engineering counterparts had only one ticket between them.

The math majors were snickering at this when one of the engineers shouted, "Here comes the conductor!" With that, the engineers all crowded into a bathroom. When the conductor knocked on the bathroom door and called "Ticket please," a single ticket was passed under the door and the conductor took it and continued on.

Coming back, the mathematicians boarded the returning train with no ticket at all. When one of the engineers yelled, "Conductor coming!" all the engineers crowded into one bathroom, while the math nerds piled into another. Then, before the conductor entered the car, one of the mathematicians ran out of his bathroom and knocked on the engineers' bathroom door.

"Ticket please," he said.

Or, how about...

A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist were sitting in a sidewalk cafe when they noticed two people going into the house across the street. A while later they saw three people coming out.

The physicist said, "Our first count wasn't accurate."

The biologist said, "No, they must have reproduced!"

The mathematician thought about it for a minute, then said, "If exactly one person enters the house, it will be empty again."


And, one more:

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative." "However," he added, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right! "
stevep

Boulder climber
Salt Lake, UT
May 7, 2014 - 11:48pm PT
A neutron walk into to a bar and asks "How much for a beer?". The bartender says to him, "For you, no charge".

And the link to the nerd comic of the past few years:

http://xkcd.com/

Fritz

Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
May 8, 2014 - 12:00am PT
Credit: internet
Messages 41 - 59 of total 59 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
Return to Forum List
Post a Reply
 
Our Guidebooks
Check 'em out!
SuperTopo Guidebooks


Try a free sample topo!

 
SuperTopo on the Web

Review Categories
Recent Trip Report and Articles
Recent Route Beta
Recent Gear Reviews