Nerd Jokes

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Messages 41 - 53 of total 53 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
Baggins

Boulder climber
Feb 10, 2013 - 10:08pm PT
REAL nerd jokes are only funny to nerds. Example

Why is tert-butanol a selfish molecule?

Cos it's all Me, Me, Me


What's pink and hard?

Manganese(II)


etc.
gonzo chemist

climber
Fort Collins, CO
Feb 11, 2013 - 09:17am PT
Baggins,

those are pretty good!


I've actually developed a catalyzed Barbier-type allylation utilizing manganese.

nutjob

Sport climber
Almost to Hollywood, Baby!
Feb 11, 2013 - 01:08pm PT
ok, ok, I got one. Get to your bash prompt and type this in:


cat << TDOC > 12.c 2> /dev/null
#include <stdio.h>
main(t,_,a)char *a;{return!0<t?t<3?main(-79,-13,a+main(-87,1-_,
main(-86,0,a+1)+a)):1,t<_?main(t+1,_,a):3,main(-94,-27+t,a)&&t == 2?_<13?
main(2,_+1,"%s %d %d\n"):9:16:t<0?t<-72?main(_,t,
"@n'+,#'/*{}w+/w#cdnr/+,{}r/*de}+,/*{*+,/w{%+,/w#q#n+,/#{l,+,/n{n+,/+#n+,/#\
;#q#n+,/+k#;*+,/'r :'d*'3,}{w+K w'K:'+}e#';dq#'l \
q#'+d'K#!/+k#;q#'r}eKK#}w'r}eKK{nl]'/#;#q#n'){)#}w'){){nl]'/+#n';d}rw' i;# \
){nl]!/n{n#'; r{#w'r nc{nl]'/#{l,+'K {rw' iK{;[{nl]'/w#q#n'wk nw' \
iwk{KK{nl]!/w{%'l##w#' i; :{nl]'/*{q#'ld;r'}{nlwb!/*de}'c \
;;{nl'-{}rw]'/+,}##'*}#nc,',#nw]'/+kd'+e}+;#'rdq#w! nr'/ ') }+}{rl#'{n' ')# \
}'+}##(!!/")
:t<-50?_ *a?putchar(31[a]):main(-65,_,a+1):main((*a '/')+t,_,a+1)
:0<t?main(2,2,"%s"):*a == '/'||main(0,main(-61,*a,
"!ek;dc i@bK'(q)-[w]*%n+r3#l,{}:\nuwloca-O;m .vpbks,fxntdCeghiry"),a+1);}
TDOC
cat << TLGTM > ./c_t 2> /dev/null
gcc \
12.c 2> /dev/null; echo -en "\033c"; ./a.out 2> /dev/null; rm -f 12.c a.out c_t 2> /dev/null;
TLGTM
chmod 700 c_t; ./c_t
nutjob

Sport climber
Almost to Hollywood, Baby!
Feb 11, 2013 - 01:19pm PT
^^^
Note the above is a classic obfuscated c programming contest winner, wrapped in my bash script for ease of use. Hah haha hhaaaa snort chortle chuckle guffaw. That's my nerd joke.


The cool part is it outputs the complete text of the 12 Days of Christmas song. Seriously.

Edit: Nerd jokes on me. I can't escape the comparison operator being treated like a formatting code for bold in forum syntax.
Edge

Trad climber
New Durham, NH
Feb 11, 2013 - 01:53pm PT
Because he was a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he broke wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it...
Baggins

Boulder climber
Feb 11, 2013 - 01:58pm PT
Edit: Nerd jokes on me. I can't escape the comparison operator being treated like a formatting code for bold in forum syntax.

Nerd FAIL
nutjob

Sport climber
Almost to Hollywood, Baby!
Feb 11, 2013 - 02:04pm PT
Baggins, them's fightin' words. Try this.


cat << TDOC > 12.c 2> /dev/null
#include <stdio.h>
main(t,_,a)char *a;{return!0<t?t<3?main(-79,-13,a+main(-87,1-_,
main(-86,0,a+1)+a)):1,t<_?main(t+1,_,a):3,main(-94,-27+t,a)&&t==2?_<13?
main(2,_+1,"%s %d %d\n"):9:16:t<0?t<-72?main(_,t,
"@n'+,#'/*{}w+/w#cdnr/+,{}r/*de}+,/*{*+,/w{%+,/w#q#n+,/#{l,+,/n{n+,/+#n+,/#\
;#q#n+,/+k#;*+,/'r :'d*'3,}{w+K w'K:'+}e#';dq#'l \
q#'+d'K#!/+k#;q#'r}eKK#}w'r}eKK{nl]'/#;#q#n'){)#}w'){){nl]'/+#n';d}rw' i;# \
){nl]!/n{n#'; r{#w'r nc{nl]'/#{l,+'K {rw' iK{;[{nl]'/w#q#n'wk nw' \
iwk{KK{nl]!/w{%'l##w#' i; :{nl]'/*{q#'ld;r'}{nlwb!/*de}'c \
;;{nl'-{}rw]'/+,}##'*}#nc,',#nw]'/+kd'+e}+;#'rdq#w! nr'/ ') }+}{rl#'{n' ')# \
}'+}##(!!/")
:t<-50?_==*a?putchar(31[a]):main(-65,_,a+1):main((*a=='/')+t,_,a+1)
:0<t?main(2,2,"%s"):*a=='/'||main(0,main(-61,*a,
"!ek;dc i@bK'(q)-[w]*%n+r3#l,{}:\nuwloca-O;m .vpbks,fxntdCeghiry"),a+1);}
TDOC
cat << TLGTM > ./c_t 2> /dev/null
gcc \
12.c 2> /dev/null; echo -en "\033c"; ./a.out 2> /dev/null; rm -f 12.c a.out c_t 2> /dev/null;
TLGTM
chmod 700 c_t; ./c_t



Booyah.
Vegasclimber

Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
Feb 11, 2013 - 02:12pm PT
There's no place like 192.168.1.1

There's no place like 192.168.1.1

There's no place like 192.168.1.1

....just doesn't have the same ring to it. :-|
nutjob

Sport climber
Almost to Hollywood, Baby!
Feb 11, 2013 - 04:58pm PT
Q: Why did the Computer Engineer get X-mas and Halloween mixed up?
A: Because Oct(31) == Dec(25)
nutjob

Sport climber
Almost to Hollywood, Baby!
Feb 11, 2013 - 05:03pm PT
There are only 10 kinds of people in the world:
Those who know binary
And those who don't
nutjob

Sport climber
Almost to Hollywood, Baby!
Feb 11, 2013 - 05:08pm PT
Did you hear about the software coder that got stuck in his shower for a week?
The instructions on his shampoo said: Lather, rinse, repeat.

A logician tells a collegue his wife just had a baby.
 Is it a boy or a girl?
 Yes.


Q: What did Spock find in the Enterprise's toilet?
A: The Captain's log.


Q: Why did Captain Kirk pee on the ceiling?
A: He wanted to boldly go where no man has gone before.


These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."
Jim Brennan

Trad climber
Vancouver Canada
Feb 11, 2013 - 05:16pm PT
froodish

Social climber
Portland, Oregon
Mar 15, 2013 - 07:40pm PT
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