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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Original Post - Nov 3, 2012 - 01:50am PT
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Henry Mancini, 1961. Trading spit on the GF's couch.
July 20, 1969. The Sea of Tranquility. There goes the neighborhood.
One for the Nomenclature Hall of Fame. By one of the most famous of the Zappa brothers.
It's right up there with Suzy Creamcheese.
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4310065-lunacy-and-the-arrangement-of-books
Witten? Where is it written that witten's more than a skat sound?[Click to View YouTube Video]
Tranquility then, tranquility now. It's Friday night. There was a full moon recently.
I remember the night I sat on the top of Bugaboo with the Rev, the snowy amphitheatre, the full moon, the eclipse.
One hike into the South Fork of hte Merced in July. I went up the jeep road almost to Jerseydale, came down Rattlesnake Gulch on the old CCC trail. So dang hot! No water left.
It's a terrible idea to immerse a heated body in cold water as I found out. Not only did I want to die from the cramps all night, the moon was full and I couldn't get to sleep if you paid me because there was not enough shade underneath the oak trees.
1983, one night at Jim Shirley's place in Box Canyon, SFV, I and my daughter, Bevin, about four, witnessed a partial lunar eclipse to rival the one in the Bugs in '70. The moon has a way of magnifying when the atmosphere's right, and over LA that night it was so clear, yet it was obviously-polluted sky.
This is to help me out, psychologically. I just heard from Lenna that Boomer, our Dad, who always "shoots the moon" (collects no points, distributes 26 to each sucker) at least once when playing Hearts, has acute leukemia and is not expected to be around much longer.
So I'm kind of wasted on pinot noir, appropriately enough.
Logic dictates a response of "oh mys." Don't. I believe in magic, and the magic here is that I seem to have been prepared for something like this by recent events. One is that The Rev's dad, Lem, has been in and out of the hospital so much in the last year or so, mostly pneumonia-related.
Also, reading of the losses suffered by Taco talkers who have had similar losses and seeing how they have been condoled by the rest of the gang Anastasia'a father's passing was the key one. (I am touched deeply by these responses, let no one kid you, they are gratefully accepted by the surviving kin.) It has had more than a little to do with my attitude. (Sip.) It doesn't lessen the sadness, but I know that it will pass and Boomer has his vision of the afterlife with Bobbye to think on besides.
Like I always say, you'd have to be crazy not to be sad.
Stop...Listen...
Look, in August, 1968, Dad was at my bedside in ten minutes after getting the phone call telling him his "Number Two Son" (Charley Chan) was in for some routine surgery, IF YOU ARE A M*A*S*H CUTTER...which Dr. Bever was trained for, fortunately.
Before that, way before that, Dad taught me how to tie the loopy thing I use to attach the leader to the hook. And how to thread a night crawler onto the hook THE WRONG WAY, according to "experts." Tell that to the fish we both have landed.
And when Dad was a father for the second time, in 1948, he got nicknamed "Boomer" on account of me.
I don't share the Francis or the William of his name. My older brother has Francis for a middle name. We loved to go to the Redding theater, The Cascade, and watch Francis the Talking Mule. We probably just saw the one, though. The atmosphere of time enlarges every little detail.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 3, 2012 - 02:05am PT
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Thanks, Dwain. My battery's pretty low.
From The Honeymousers.
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nita
Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
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Mouse, sorry to hear about Boomer... ...I hope his transition is not too difficult.....My papa.. just flew.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3_UaW7TFZQ
Saludos...
n.t.
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splitter
Trad climber
Cali Hodad, surfing the galactic plane
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Very sorry to hear about your father Brian. I know how close you are to him. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. I will remember him and you in my prayer's everyday. The knot that Boomer taught you how to tie, did more than catch a lot of fish, it tied you closer to him. It is a special knot, between you and him, that will never come untied. Talk to ya later, bro!
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 3, 2012 - 03:37am PT
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John, we will talk. Not just yet.
nita, I'm shocked. No reason for me not to have know, unless it was "nunya." All the same, my sweetest vibes for you and tt and family.
and thank you
Tony "Litt" Bird's mention of Mikis Theodorakis on our noble syster Lolli's stumbling block of a thread (how'd that get more than a few hits on the Taco?! LoLL) made me want to find something like the world-famous Elegy Number one for Cello and Piano. That sounded nice.
I picked this out of a box of rain.
[Click to View YouTube Video]
Thanks, TB. And others.
Joe. You wrote beatiful mems of your mom.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 3, 2012 - 05:57am PT
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A good long trance magic godmuse-given balmic love song between BashOH and himself and a girltar. My muse never short-changes, providing I thank her. She is responsible for my crazy and wants you to know long is good and there was something in between "trance music" and this but can't remember, so forget that, but that tis is what was trance BITD, along with Paul Horn, of course.[Click to View YouTube Video]
Boomer would never stand for this, bet on it.[Click to View YouTube Video]You should click the box, as prompted, once this vid loads. The new improved wersion is a surprise, you betcha. Boomer might stand for this message.
I feel like Weej only weejier except that's not true, it's just a glum nordic reaction. My mom's line is part half-Swedish, so...
But why is it that a person says they are Irish, say, when they have a mom that's half-something? Is it that we ID with the, ahem, father's line almost exclusively as a society, or is it something other that I can't see?
I am the example of which I write. Irish on Da's side, but not certain of the great-grandmother, Alezana. And mom's a Larson on her dad's but who knows about that Mrs. Larson? Lenna, my sis does.
And how is it that the technique known as French free is so frowned on by some bee-goes? I just thought I'd toss that in, because Boomer once saw Monty Python and the Holy Grail where the Frenchies are not taking merde from the steenkeeng Eenglisch, etc., cows flying overhead and all, and they are getting down-right scatalogical. He laughed hard at that, for quite a while. He has little tolerance for my humor. His is all gem-quality.
Music-wise, the same. The tyranny of another generation's music, deserves it's own thread.
Dad and mom took dance lessons, ca. 1959, because they loved to dance and they were in love with each other, and they loved to get away from the four brats. There were lots of Tuesday or Wednesday nights they took off for two hours to their group. They learned samba, mambo, rhumba,all the rage dances (but no salsa--it hadn't been imported yet, then, ago) with a Latin angel who inspired them, The Bossa Nova http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bossa_Nova_(dance); among them. Their favorite: Cha-cha-cha.
I'm going to inflict this on you [Click to View YouTube Video] and hope to go home to mama myself some day. This is an amazing thing, to be able to show the kids what the greats like Wayne were having to listen to and come to terms with. There's no tyranny here in my Middle Earth. Just tranquility.
Peace.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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hey there say, mouse.... oh my, i am late here...
sending out my prayers and 'backup' to you and your family, as this
hard news has just hit you...
may your dad do well and as strong as he can, on this 'last leg of trail'
and may the good lord's grace 'kick in' and help him along...
today--when i was praying, well, i took time to cry, as i love my daddy, too... i had new phonecard time, so:
i GOT TO CALL HIM!!! :) yep, and ohmy:
the ol' battery died--i had not charged it soon enough...
well--sure enough, later that night, my mom and daddy CALLED me back!
on the first call try, i just gushed over and over on how i loved him
so much and thanked him for being here helping me make a trail
to live on, and for just 'being him' and teaching me to be:
kind, honest, THERE, and whatever kind of anchor, i can be for others...
the second call, which came at night, was a call were we all shared
about a picture i made for mom (late birthday gift) ...
and--where my dad shared more of his 'health' info...
now, too, hard to learn that stuff, but he stuff is not far serious, and i hope it WON'T be fore quite a long time...
i had a thankful cry, as to that... and for having both folks, so long...
NOW:
I WILL have a serious cry and pray for your daddy, too...
and, i will always remember your stories about him, each time that
i try to 'shoot the moon'... I LEARNED of this, when me and the grandkid
tried to play hearts a few times with the ol' pupdog and the cat (one in particular)...
(course, essentially, we are each playing two hands, so i could choose the 'shoot the moon' very easy, a few times, and wouldn't you know it:
it was in the PUPDOG's hand) :O thus, i did not... :)
i will always remember you and your dear dad, mouse, whenever i play this came in the future... i LOVE how daddys are special treats as to things that we have seen or learned, as to 'daddy moments'
here is your quote:
...our Dad, who always "shoots the moon" (collects no points, distributes 26 to each sucker) at least once when playing Hearts, has acute leukemia and is not expected to be around much longer
also, dear nita...
i did not know, (i think?) that your dad had passed on...
love and hugs to you, at this time of remembrance...
well:
hugs to you, mouse... i will get 'right on the job' now,
with some praying... hearts will be more personal, now, knowing that
a climber-buddies dad, loved the challange of the ol' moon-shoot...
will check in with you later, say, after this, i have an idea
to SEND you one more book that i have... will send it soon...
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climbski2
Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
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Hey Mouse you are one of my favorite folks here on the TACO so yer Dad must be something special too.
Keep remembering all the best of times. For any parent to know they left their children great memories is very important. We all have to go someday I suppose. What more can a good man ask for.
Best wishes for peace for you and your family as you move through a deep time in your lives.
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nita
Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
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There are some crappy times to life. The older we get the more we experience these. Even though mom may have told us of these days, experiencing them is a whole nuuder story. There is no preparation really, just going with it as the only choice apparent..Spirit however is an undeniable feature that goes on and on and on and on and~~~
Ron Anderson, I may not agree with your political views...but..The above post^ is really great.
thanks....
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splitter
Trad climber
Cali Hodad, surfing the galactic plane
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TT - As far as "being a very private person" I can relate.
I just lost my mother a few months ago, and told no one. Except a couple people here that i had to thank. Anastasia, because she had sent me an email just a week before my mother suddenly died, thanking me for something i said in regards to losing her father. She told me to go out and hug someone that is close to me before it is to late. I thought of my mother who i hadn't physically seen in a couple of months (talked to her on the phone though) so i did just that, went over and hugged her, etc! A few days later, a friday evening, she developed stomach pains and was feeling ill. My brother and sister took her to the hospital and they said that she had the stomach flu, but kept her for observation anyway. Less than twelve hours later, she was gone. It was sepsis.
I will always be grateful that i got to hug her and see her one last time. Because she was not conscious by the time i did get to the hospital. I went home and was sorta in shock. I was all alone, so i just read threads on supertopo and listened to songs 24/7 on t*r's 'what song are you listening to' thread. The only alternative was running the past 12 hours thru my head over and over (it was pretty intense). I just couldn't go there. And, t*r had also sent me an email thanking me for something i said regarding her losing her father. I was very thankful for having the music on her thread to listen to, and some of the positive comments and antidotes that she posted during that time. To not give up, to stand strong, etc! So i sent her an email thanking her and telling her about just losing my mom.
Those were the only two people on ST that I contacted. Because, I am not very good about letting other people know that i am hurting. I prefer to keep it to myself. Not sure why. Oh well. Regardless, thanks for being there/here taco'ites. You helped a lot more than you will ever know.
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Two weeks ago I got the call. "If you want to see him, you'd better come now."
So I flew. And then sat at his bedside for three days, talking to him, marveling that a mind could still burn that brightly in a body that far gone, hoping that I would be that accepting when my own end comes.
Hardest thing I've ever done was getting back on the plane believing that I would never see him again.
The days, like leaves...
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 3, 2012 - 02:27pm PT
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Your turn will come my friend, much sooner than you think.--Fossil Climber
Well, it's been a very long night. I had a very good cry about an hour ago. My wall of tran...my well of tranquility over-flowed with especially putrid-smelling prose as I arose and my muses all fled with fingers squeezen nozes.
Duck-talk took over and I was solo climbing the pages of the indices and the Bugaboo Glacier-fed memories helped to fill the dream.
The fact that Boomer and Bobbye dis-approved of my climbing as much as anything I had coming for being such a pain-in-the-ass rebel, led me to embrace the lifestyle and the speed-of-light style of Don vanVliet in the ego-alteing version known as Captain Beefheart. If you read this out loud really quickly but in a controlled, but placid fast-paced manner and enunciate each word secifically in the manner which the man has arranged and painstakingly taught you, no one can possibly mistake you for that genkius...
I looked very closely at the video that came up earlier, Lil Prydes New Version II, I, whatever. The coastline looked like, with the rails, Santa Monica, but there's no cove and the hills are wrong. So who's beach is this? Anyone ecognize it? And nita, it's not Sunset Inn Beach, that's in Santa Cruz-land and easy as three blind mice.
Trying to take my mind elsewhere. OK, I talked to himself and he said he's no different than yesterday. These things are incremental and I can't evern bring myself to rhyme that.
I can name rhyme that in three syllables. Dad never watched any game shows but the tune-naming game, what's it called?
No sports. Just golf.
No beer. Just scotch. Or martinis when he was in his late twenties and early thirties. Then Ballantines but never J & B. Maker's Mark he probably never got that deep. Why settle for single malt when more are cheaper? Why don't you go to St. Mary's instead of USF--it's cheaper and the fare's the same on the bus.
I would have stayed in school.
I never touched your mother.
You're grounded.
Bend over and grab your ankles.
I'll get to you in a minute. Quit cryin', wipe your ass, did you wash your hands.
MOON![Click to View YouTube Video]
Just so we don't get maudlin, my Dad's best memories of late, when we converse in the daily ritual, are of flying in and around the Cote d'Azur and staying in a swank hotel on the beach at Cannes. That idea, naturally, brought to mind the epic video shot on theat beach by Captain Beefheart. That evolved to the quite punishing-to-the-ears-if-you're-like-Boomer Moonlight on Vermont. Which I would download, but no, i can't, out of respect for the man. I have warned parents here not to let children under the age of fifteen listen to the Capt., or Don.
That's the difference in generations, right there,a ballad that can be construed either as a love song or a tribute to a companion, like Moon River, and the types of music I listen to, lrics I tolerate, and generally accept as music now some things I loathed before. Boomer will have nothing to do with anything newer than I Come from a Land Down-Under. He actually took that to heart. Unbelievable! But that's what makes memories. things that stand out. But the hum-drum, as well.
He's all barber-shop and I listen to classical. Or used to do. "Our listening comes and goes in cycles, one could say."--Some obscure physics dude nobody listens to any more.
I can name operas, he's good with crooners and some show tunes, but he's not that type at all.
We used to constantly compare, well, each month we would compare our scores on the Reader's Digest vocabulary quiz. He has the edge, but if we went head-to-head I could nail him with cragnostic or Gulglielmocha.
He hasn't played golf. His last round was up in early May. Orders from the DR. Sit more, play golf on TV from now on. He tells me today he walked to the bedroom from his living room recliner and could barely believe how much effort it had taken. He nearly didn't have the energy to undress. But he did. He's an officer and a gent and a creature of personal habit and routines.
I fondly remember cleaning up for school and listening to Paul Harvey on Dad's portable AM/FM every morning while he was shaving. How I often had to stick around for "the rest of the story." Every day for years.
Dad read the SF Chronicle and Merced Sun-Star during breakfast. He said if Kennedy can read so many papers, it's only because he can afford the subscriptions. He still takes the watered-down hulk of the Chron, and sees fewer obituaries for his dwindling number of friends and acquaintances.
I smell maudlin. I need college football and getting back to normal.
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Big Mike
Trad climber
BC
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Wow... I am sorry to hear about your father Mouse. It seems you are not alone in your loss...
My condolences also to Nita on the passing of her father.
I am glad that Splitter got a chance to see his mom one last time.
Ghost- I am sorry to hear your news as well.. Loosing people is hard, I am lucky that haven't had to deal with this topic very much, but am sure my time will come..
Those people will be in your hearts forever, and that part of them will never die. Don't forget it....
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Anastasia
climber
InLOVEwithAris.
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I lost my family within two years. The people that were always there, taught me how to be, etc. Grandmother, mother, Aunt, Uncle and lastly my Father. Too many actually. I still don't get it and yeah, you can't make this stuff up.
How do you get over such loss? Simple, you don't. You instead learn to live with it. I myself focus on what I do have, what is still here and try to only glance back and use my time to stare forward. You can't focus on the past because it will drive you insane, put you deep into depression, etc. Now the future, there are so many wonderful things always in the future that you can influence and gain.
I miss them, especially my Dad. Yet... I also know he is happy for me, where I am today and that means a whole lot.
AFS
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Fossil climber
Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
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Mouse - Nita - Ghost --
I understand your feelings and sympathize completely.
It'll pass and gradually be replaced by fond and painless memories.
Hang in there.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 5, 2012 - 07:46pm PT
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Cleared for landing on the moon or wherever.
I just now had word from Lenna. Just that quickly.
One of Boomer's and Bobbye's best favorites.
[Click to View YouTube Video]Perry Como. RIP.
And here's one I been meaning to post for all you fighters and lovers.[Click to View YouTube Video]Amparo Ochoa. RIP.
It's more than a song with a message. It's danceable, too! I'd like to dance because his soul's gone into it's place in the cosmos. I really feel terrible. But I'm gonna plug onwards.
After a visit to the Partisan. Salud, Good Dad. Salud, Beautiful Mom. Salud, Amparo, melodious lady. Perry, como esta?
I'll be thinking of you, John. Keep me in your thoughts & prayes.
Third class blues, let's go get stoned. Fvck the coffee shoppe.
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manor of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
Go easy mouse
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zBrown
Ice climber
chingadero de chula vista
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Hey mouse, I just saw this. I'm very sad and blue now.
"i didn't feel so bad until the good Lord's sun went down
I didn't have a soul to throw my arms around.-"
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nutjob
Gym climber
Berkeley, CA
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Hang in there dude.
Enjoy life and all the stuff that comes along with it and whatever comes after.
If something hurts too much, imagine how big you have to make yourself so that the pain is just a small part of who you are.
Actually that last part is the latest life lesson for me, and it seems you are instinctively following it already.
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nita
Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
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Mouse, My friend...
Saludos.
xo
nita
Mouse, Thinking about You ,...Ghost..Splitter...and T Hocking...a little music for you all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8_eFRZP1uQ
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zBrown
Ice climber
chingadero de chula vista
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bump
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Brian, Nita, David - very sorry to hear your sad news, and thinking of you.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 6, 2012 - 05:20pm PT
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I have been on cruise control all day since I got up at mid-morning, no hang-over, Splitter, just remorse for spending the dough on wine and beer. The weed, not so much, it's killer and has done the job today.
I got out the vote, mailed the book to Our neebee, bless you, and that pack of chewing gum to CosmicSceneMan to fix his cams.
I sat out front with coffee at Coffee Bandits on Main, just thinking. A woman sat down. Her name is Marty. She is an angel. We spoke. She related her story: bag woman, moved from NY & ended up in SF, then here in Merced. She's been working with the Salvation Army. She shared. I needed to visit with her and she needed to pray for someone to the glory of God. So nicely-done, Miss You're-the One.
When I told Marty/Miriam that I am totally whimsied out and she is a dingbat, but I loved that about her, she was so happy. She needs validation that she's doing the right thing, and all I had to do was respond to her. You may or may not find the city is all that, but I can't imagine this happening in an urban setting as opposed to a hick town. She prayed for Boomer and family.
Then I thanked her
and was on my way, thinking,
"How John Salathe."
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 7, 2012 - 08:11pm PT
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Ron, you are a good guy and one of the originals. We are all copies of someone, but you and I have an affinity, an appreciation of the absurd.
What's absurd is that we have arrived at them in different ways. You had no dad to guide, correct, initiate you. I did. What diff? Not much, that I can see. You were forced to be independent. I had to fight to be so.
I need a break from this Taco. It's too addictive, too distracting. I have sensed a restlessness coming over me. This death is liberating. There is a lesson there, somewhere.
Untill I return, this thread has terminated, as far as I am concerned. there are other loose ends. Most do not concern boobs or turds, Ron, but I will leave you with the high sign
UU
(what boobs get to looking like sooner or later--i'm so tired.)
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zBrown
Ice climber
chingadero de chula vista
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It happens to the best of us my friend.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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hey there say, mouse...
oh my... had not seen this yet...
a very nice picture of your father...
my condolences to you and your family and loved ones, a this hard sad time
of his passing...
will send a card, soon...
may the new trail that comes without him being near, be:
a trail of the nearness of special and very sweet memories, that will
bring new life to you, after the sad tears of each one that graces your thoughts...
god bless...
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splitter
Trad climber
Cali Hodad, surfing the galactic plane
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Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Brian, I hope all is well with you, I know how difficult this time can be.
Love isn't supposed to hurt, but if it didn't I guess it wouldn't really be love, eh? I mean, if you lose something you love, it can be very painful. But then, you never really lose love, because, love is eternal. There were times that I wished I had never loved at all, it would have been so much easier, it seemed. But, we know that isn't true, because that is what we are here for. Because love is the most precious gift of all,
"And now these three remain, faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."!
Love is a blessing, and you and your father have been blessed. Boomer will never forget you, and will never stop loving you, nor you him. That is really the most important thing we can take with us, and the most important thing worth clinging to here on earth. May a peace beyond all understanding be with you, bro!
John
edit: Nita - "Farewell Farewell" -- That is a beautiful song, I have never heard it before. It is truely special, thankyou!
Mouse - "Her name is Marty" -- I believe people, and occasionally angels, are sent from heaven for special times and circumstances...and they are never late, they're always right on time!
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 8, 2012 - 09:56pm PT
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It's been a day, let me tell you. I got straight with my brothers and sister about the obsequies, the requiem mass, and so on. The body's on the cremation plane and it will be turned into cinders down in Texas. Yep, Texas.
Mass and memorial are next Wednesday.
All set. Bank's good, mean to sell the double-wide cheap & fast. Some furniture will be stored by me for use in a new place.
Thanks for sticking with me, friends.
I need sleep because I mean to start to finish up with the Sierra Club Bulletins this weekend (big stack) while looking through Jim's new batch of slides he shipped me. May havesome Cathedral shots. I'm hoping some Tahquitz, too.
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nita
Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
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Take care..Mr Mouse....
Saludos..
Best Wishes...
nita.
.............................
Thinking about my Mom...She is having a tough time....
Sending this song out to my Mom, and anyone else that is experiencing sorrow.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9TmJBBKYmU
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zBrown
Ice climber
chingadero de chula vista
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too real is this feeling of make believe
too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal
[Click to View YouTube Video]
but remember
my need is such, I pretend too much
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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I got straight with my brothers and sister about the obsequies, the requiem mass, and so on.
Three weeks ago, when it looked like my father would only have a few days, he asked for us all to join him. Which we did. His room was tiny, so we pried him out of his bed and hoisted him into a wheelchair, and the kind folks at the hospital gave us a little meeting room, and we sat and listened. To his thoughts on the obsequies, and so on.
He's blind, so we all had to identify ourselves by voice, but he soon knew who was where, and looked right at us. And he was beyond weak, so even with an Oxy feed he could only manage a few words without a break. But he sat tall in the chair and laid it down.
And the message was: "It won't matter to me, cuz I ain't gonna be participating, so you do what you think is right to remember me. The only thing I ask is that you don't involve any preachers."
So we tucked him back into bed, then sat around crying, or pretending not to cry, for a while. And agreed that there wouldn't be any preachers involved, but that when the time came, be it tomorrow or next week or next year, that there would be a jar with his ashes, and plenty of time to listen to whoever wanted to tell a story.
However it goes down for you and your dad Mouse, I hope you feel my spirit there with you.
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Evel
Trad climber
Nedsterdam CO
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Hang in there Mouse. We've not met that I'm aware of, but I do like your style around here. Sure wouldn't be the same without your posts.
My pop died many years ago in my arms. I've never gotten over it, but my life has had to go on. It's crappy at times. But no-one ever promised me a rose garden. I just keep my chin up and know that dad would be disappointed if I didn't. That alone has helped a lot over the years. It doesn't go away,but it does get easier. A little.
You're gonna be alright Brother.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 9, 2012 - 06:51am PT
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A Golfer’s Requiem
By Francis W. Bermingham
I’m teeing off on a course today I’ve never played before.
From what I’ve heard, nobody much cares about your score.
With fairways wide, rough not deep,
The hills before you not too steep,
The greens they say are smooth and true,
With subtle breaks and a lovely view.
My partner’s attired in different mode,
He’d never pass my club’s dress code:
He wears a robe of purest white--
When on the tee, He’s quite a sight.
He sports a beard and His hair’s too long;
And as he swings, he hums a song.
Without golf spikes, He’s wearing sandals.
Perhaps I should be lighting candles?
But when we reached the nineteenth hole,
I thanked the God who saved my soul.
And this is my legacy, a penchant to outdo my dad's poetry, and remember he had two holes-in-one, akin to climbing the Captain or Trango. I could never beat him a golf, or at pool, or at hearts, or in the vocabulary tests in the Readers Digest, nor could I sing like he could, nor even plunk a ukelele the way he could. But he bothered to help me become better at each.
On the other hand he never climbed the Captain, though we did climb a cinder cone off the 99 up by the town of Shasta. And we did take a memorable moonlight hike (sans moon, so it was a midnight hike, technically) with the family to the top of Yosemite Falls, 1964. And I can't post the fishing trophies he garnered with Mike and Tim--salmon, steelies, bass.
But I can truly say he gave me the urge to be specific in language, get the point over, don't BS, and do your research. All this from a guy who never finished JC, but trained himself with Toastmasters to deliver a competent train of thought in front of people and relied on his slide rule for much of his data when doing reports for Pac Tel. And he taught me to stay the course in employment. In this day and age, he kept the same job for over thirty years. By contrast, I have had three main employers over twenty-six years, plus several ancillary and other positions, and I only quit one time. Sh#t-canned several, but I didn't quit. One has responsibilities, but one likes to keep eating and stay warm, too. My brother Mike just retired two years ago after thirty-five with the Irrigation District.
It's awful hard to fill certain shoes or meet certain standards. Dads are just so important, aren't they, Fletcher?
It's great to hear your stories, too, my friends. This is a blessing I did not expect, consciously. Some thing happening here; what it is will reveal itself in the clear and then we'll all sing Take Me Out To The Golf Course in four-part harmony.
Here's a tune mentioned by Joe Fitschen in Going Up (never heard of this one!) that makes me think of the years Boomer was growing up and there were all sorts of things happening that he lived through. It is filled wtih forties charm. Gershwin, Concerto in F. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6lQD31dynA
The last several years Boomer spent lots of time telling me about his life in our evening phone conversations. These regular phone talks are one of the best things for older folks, who rely on them every day to keep them from feeling isolated and ignored. Always call your Dad or Mom if you even happen to think about it. You may be really glad you did. Just a "thinking about you" is a kindness they will treasure for who knows how long.
I could easily sense Boomer's energy, his joie de vivre, quickly leaving him as he had to abandon golf because he was too weak to play. Imagine the grief he went through because it wasn't just about the golf with him, it was Dudley, Gus, Nick, Ralph and Burt and Bobbye he mainly golfed with and they had left the game or passed on. And Tim and I were not playing, though Tim has taken it up again (he was on the MHS golf squad). Mike was the hunter and fisherman, not a golfer, though he and Dad took several fishing trips to Mexico and the Sacramento was their private stocked river, they seemed to think. You needed to like salmon and sturgeon around our family.
A Golfer's Obituary
email sent from older bro in Merced Falls to youngest bro in Jamestown
Tim, Here is a draft of what we used for Dad's obituary, only a couple of minor changes were made to the final.
The bottom info is self-explanatory.
Mass is Weds. the 14th at 10:00 AM. I'll fill you in on more as I get it.
Francis W. “Boomer” Bermingham 5/17/1924 -- 11/4/2012.
Francis was born in Redding, CA. He attended schools there until 1942. After high school he worked a summer as a concrete vibrator during the construction of Shasta Dam. After attending Sacramento JC for one semester, he enlisted in the Army Air Corps. He received his commission as a second lieutenant and wings as a pilot in May of 1944. Shortly after “D Day”, he served in England and France in the Troop Carrier Command, hauling supplies and towing gliders on combat missions. Returning from Europe after “V-E” Day, he married his high school sweetheart, Barbara Larson in August 1945.
After discharge, he was employed by Pacific Tel & Tel as an engineering assistant. After several years in Redding as a Telephone Representative, he was transferred to Sacramento. He held various positions there, including Service Engineer, Sales Supervisor, Public Office Manager, and Unit Manager. After eight years, he was transferred to Merced in 1961 as Manager. He was active in the Merced Relations Committee, Boy Scouts, Rotary Club, Chamber of Commerce, Base Community Council, Our Lady of Mercy Dad’s Club, OLM Choir, Barbershop Chorus, and Merced Golf and Country Club.
He enjoyed golf, fishing, golf, boating & water skiing, golf, camping & RVing, and golf. His loving wife Barbara, of 57 years passed away in March, 2003. He is survived by three sons, Michael of Snelling, Brian of Merced, and Timothy of Jamestown, and a daughter Lenna Peterson of Sonora, as well as several grandchildren and great grandchildren.
Requiem Mass will be held at St. Patrick’s on ___.
Contributions in lieu of flowers may be made to a charity of the donor’s choice.
Arrangements are being handled by Stratford Evans.
And so it comes to this
A boxful of ashes
And the collected memories of four children
And countless friends, most of whom have been remembering Good Old Boomer in absentia but now are greeting him in the Good Old Heavenly Clubhouse.
Unlike golf, a good way to ruin a walk,
Climbing is a good way to enhance that walk,
I have found.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Nov 10, 2012 - 06:08pm PT
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hey there say, mouse.... prayers for the situations coming up...
am praying that all goes smooth... (i put a note--comment--on your facebook page, as to a prayer for it all)...
as to this quote of yours:
The last several years Boomer spent lots of time telling me about his life in our evening phone conversations. These regular phone talks are one of the best things for older folks, who rely on them every day to keep them from feeling isolated and ignored. Always call your Dad or Mom if you even happen to think about it. You may be really glad you did. Just a "thinking about you" is a kindness they will treasure for who knows how long.
that is priceless... i wish my folks liked to talk as much as i do...
i'd talks to them all night... but they DO love phone calls, and that much i cherish we they DO talk...
T hocking:
my deep prayers too, for you dad at this hard time of his life...
you are not alone... folks really do care to send wishes or prayers, you are in everyones thoughts...
god blesss...
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nita
Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
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Nov 13, 2012 - 10:50am PT
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Tad,
Sending my sincere heartfelt condolences to you and your family...
take care of yourself and get some much deserved sleep..
Saludos..
nita..
.........................................
Ec, Father just passed away, and his family had a Memorial on Sunday.
Sending heartfelt condolences his way..also...
Best wishes...
nita..
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splitter
Trad climber
Cali Hodad, surfing the galactic plane
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Nov 13, 2012 - 11:07am PT
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Very sorry to here of the loss of your father Tad, prayers going your way, may he rest in peace!
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Nov 13, 2012 - 11:18am PT
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hey there say, T hocking (tad)...
my condolences to you at this hard time of sadness, as your dad is now gone...
holding the joy, though of how he got to see the baby, and the family...
that is the best 'las memory' for many to cherish...
god bless... prayers, as you all begin to move-on, without him,
now...
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climbski2
Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
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Nov 13, 2012 - 12:02pm PT
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TH
To hold the first of the Great grandchildren and be surrounded by love, comfortable at home. incredible blessing
I wish your family peace and at least some moments of real joy as you all share the stories of his life.
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splitter
Trad climber
Cali Hodad, surfing the galactic plane
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Nov 13, 2012 - 02:39pm PT
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[Click to View YouTube Video]
edit: Brian - thnx, bro! btw, the 'old man' this guy is singing about is his grandfather (those are pics of him). it's a true story. he took him fishing one day and had a 'man to man' talk with him. he went directly home and wrote a song about it. he mentions it at the beginning of the 'acoustic version' of this song (maybe i will post it some time). it's a timeless & apropos message for one and all. glad ya liked it!
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 14, 2012 - 11:07am PT
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John, you make-a me cry! Thanks. You a stand-up-a guy. Gonna tell you how sorry we all are about the mom you lost, and all the rest of us who lost a loved parent, aunt, or uncle (Ron), just harden the soft up.
We are in it together with respect to our elders. by that i mean we are all the same, if we are quote normal.
Children and old folks, our responsibilties relent, then they return, so many of us are UNPREPARED for the job of caring (or "care-giving"--6 x 1, or half-dozen of the other). The older you become, the less this seems to be true. You spend more time aware of death, but not necessarily thinking of it. Not to the extent that you are obsessed, or fascinated, not that at all, but maybe more like bugged by it like a fly, it hasn't harmed you, but it's not pleasant. And it won't go away no matter what. You need to make your peace with it, because it will always outwit you. You are puny, but large. He is puny-looking, but undefeatable.
So in the face of this, the wise, or the ones who can or think they can afford it, prepare themselves for the inevitable. The grasshopper doesn't do this, and I was one, in one way. I haven't gotten much in life in terms of wealth. I never thought of happiness being at the bank. It's not, in fact, as folks like to say. I did not figure the cost of interment, last rites, etc. The funeral director quoted me $750, extreme low end for cremation. Cheaper than I figured. Do I'm buying a plan. (I haven't made a will, because I haven't got anything worth leaving, it's all analog, bound, or on the heavy side. Future junk, for sure.) But that's just the start. If you need a minister, $$. A hall, $$. Singer/music, $$. Even a single floral display, $$...
So it adds up fast. Play the Boy Scout angle, be prepared. Dad certainly was. The family appreciates it and so do my sibs. Duh.
Tad, it's good that I caught this on the way out the door, almost, for the obsequies for Boomer. Accept my condolence for your loss, know that I will be praying for you and yours at church this morning, and raising a glass to both our dads. I hope you got some rest, too.
Chico's closer to Redding than Merced, but you are more like Merced than any town I've ever seen, there, nita and Andy. I am going to want to stop in and visit when I head north to climb in the Castle Crags with Tad. It's my goal for the spring, to get up in them crags. One of them.
Be with the one you love.
Here's to Roger and Boomer.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 14, 2012 - 11:28am PT
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A photo of a drawering of me da'. I masterpieced this one at age 9/10 it seems. Such an un-quixotic man was easy to drawer. My mother, such a ravishing glamorous lady, I could only try to capture her.
Thank you for the complimentary things, neebee.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 14, 2012 - 10:32pm PT
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Tad, how is it going? He's not here, he's there.
We'll be there soon enough. They'll be waiting.
Look ahead, not too much, just enough.
Take your mind and shove it.
"What's the big deal about being THE First? Did not I just enjoy what you and JG and MS created from what I created?"--GOD, actual reording
"Yeah, but the work was actuallly less than the reward! We'll talk."--God
I would say, having seen to Boomer, we have some things to share, but it's up to you. I'm in the directory. BJBerningham.
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Nov 15, 2012 - 12:56am PT
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Sorry to hear Tad's sad news, and thinking of both you and Brian. You both had outstanding fathers, so cherish the memories!
Brian's dad was born on the Norwegian national day, too. Syttende mai. Although darned if I know what a concrete vibrator is/does.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 15, 2012 - 02:20am PT
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The Moonlight Vibrator:
It only brings you back to normal.
It makes you cry for those who miss it.
PPlease pay attention, Taco, I love you...
I want to immerse myself in music,
To know it made you feel like I did.
I want to climb some choss pile
To make you feel like I did.
I'd rather I'd climbed a clean route,
No iron to be found there,
Than to know I'd left you hanging
In a dark and dank-ass chimney.
Brrr...
Gee, I liked your rhyming.
Well, I liked your timing, big boy.
Mouse and Nature, together.
Daddies Make You Cry.
WTF.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Nov 15, 2012 - 02:26am PT
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Dads are where its at. Peace to you, Mouse.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 15, 2012 - 02:37am PT
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And to Ana and Tad and Ron and Any.
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Fletcher
Trad climber
Fumbling towards stone
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Nov 15, 2012 - 03:13am PT
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Whoa... all of this just came into my awareness this evening.
Peace to all of you...
[Click to View YouTube Video]
Eric
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 19, 2012 - 01:12pm PT
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Three blind mice, see how they climb.
They all chased after the ranger's wife,
She cut their rope with a belaying knife.
So never chase after a ranger's wife.
It could have gone far worse.
Ho for Shasta County!
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Nov 19, 2012 - 01:17pm PT
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Late, but better than knott, to the party I would add that Moon Unit is a
really nice lady. If you met her at a party these days you'd think her just
another charming and well-grounded soccer mom, with a gud sense of humor. ;-)
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 19, 2012 - 04:07pm PT
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Forefathers, three sons.
Dads' Jam.
Family Tree Climb.
I'm schediuled to meet with Ron Golcman in January for Royal Arches.
"Royal Arches in January." Last words we said to one another at Facelift. This is gonna be an interesting winter-spring. Nice.
You two buffoons think we got enough skill? I only have a couple of hundreds of climbs and repeats I can claim. I want a complete dossier of each climb you've ever done, a recent doctor's report on your physical state, and financial statement. Or is that a deal-breaker?
I mean, I always say you climb better when you trust the ones on the other end. You need to vett your new climbing buds or you could be hurtin', so you'd best be certain.
I get up from my nap and find the expedition's already left!
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Nov 19, 2012 - 04:46pm PT
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Ron, you need to make full disclosure. You know, the sledzing thing.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 19, 2012 - 05:01pm PT
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Up front ain't in it, I guess.
For what it's worth, the only sled I have had in my life is one called Citizen Kanebud. Kinda took me into another dimension, know what I mean? And I don't mean Vancouver.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 19, 2012 - 05:10pm PT
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Tad, you have two ancient ropeboys capable of doing 5.6 and She is watching over us. What's to worry about except we forget a few of our scrips or fall asleep at the belay? We can have two of us at the stations, so that shouldn't be a big deal. Or we just do single-pitch routes. NOT!
Ron, I think I can still get some more of that CK bud. It is the ticket to contentment for at least six hours! You will nod off, though. Guaranteed.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 19, 2012 - 06:40pm PT
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I think I can trust you now.
The sled thing is negotiable, obviously, since approaches suck.
I've not kept up since the mass suicides on EVE-rest, so am interested (sic) in the niceties of powering these sleds. We gotta pull them dudes or can we hire some dirties?
Would you like to try some Castle Craggin'? That and the Thundering Thumb, and Tom's Stone, who came home, to his wife and family...The Thundering Thumb is just as fickle as any finger, moreso in some cases.
I'm workin' out. Getting the scrips renewed. Vitamins. Walking. No beers.
Dads are worth lots more than this effort.
Y'all remember that.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 21, 2012 - 03:18pm PT
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The Mouse does not reserve any rights to his background and likes to brag, too. So, given my missing thumb, I had ACL surgery on the right leg in 1979, a resounding success. My left knee needs to be braced when strained by such as climbing.
My right lens is now plastic, but I see well at a distance, need reading correction.
I have all of my teeth, Ron.
I'm retired, still smoke, still drink--but not to excess, except for the other night at Boomer's wake, and haven't got a cannabis card.
I climbed in Yosemite starting in Fall of '70, living there full-time till March of 1972. Worked at the Mtn. Shop guarding the rurps from Werner and folding Go Climb A Rock Tshirts. Great skill set developed at getting xc wood skiis prepped, mounted, etc.
Spent lot of time in the weekenders' camp, until the year 1983, when my climbing activity ceased, with the exception of the odd vacations to YV in 1986 and 1988, when I climbed the sh#t out of everything with several different guys from all over, esp. Kelly Laakso, who returned in 1990 to attempt Lurking Fear. Courtwright Reservoir trip in 1995 was my last official roped climb. I have been up Sunnyside Bench Regular halfway with my then 68-year old father-in-law to enjoy that view.
Major climbs: EBMCR, many times; The Flakes, same; HC spire, same; Braille Book & Sequel; Chouinard-Pratt; CPFMCR; Leaning Tower; S & E Faces of Wahington Column; NWF Half Dome, regular route; Salathe Wall; 5.4 plus, JT and many routes there and at Tahquitz & Suicide & Pinnacles; Mt. Shasta; Mt. Lyell; Mt. Winchell; Memorial Stadium, UCB; and Mt. Elizabeth Bermingham. RIP.
Mentors include the Rev, Lloyd Price, Roy Naasz, the Bird, Millis, neebee Gonzales and Steve Grossman not in any particular order
I liked golf, but it's stupidly wasteful.
I liked fishing, but it's not satisfying.
I liked racquetball, but it's way homo.
I just want to write and climb and write about climbing now.
I've found a couple of good men, one of whom happens to be a Flame.
My pleasure to await developments.
We are at war with our ages, gents. Let's kick some butt.
For the Fathers, lads!
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 21, 2012 - 03:45pm PT
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Had me fooled there for a few minutes, Ron.
I said to myself, that looks like a SM-62 Snark, the ICBM. But then I clicked to enlarge and it's the Reg II.
Dad liked my array of US rocketry, with all the makes and models in plastic that I had to put together. They weren't to scale with each other, but this wasn't a biggie. I had the hots to go to Vandenburgh and watch the range tests, but never got the chance. The Aerojet-General rocket-testing facility was out east of Sacramento by Mather AFB/RIP.
We got a tour of both places as Cub Scouts. Haven't seen anything like the rocket test we saw ever since, except maybe at the base of Nevada Fall, where it's almost as loud!
The ex is just arriving here with the child, so I'm out of here till tonite.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 21, 2012 - 06:42pm PT
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FTF it is, then, and the oldest belays first.
My hat's off to my ex whom we can now call by her REAL name, Dolores.
I wasn't sure she did it, but I asked her, "Did you ever get your PhD at Mills College?" She told me she did, in 2005. Just what we need. A doctor in the ex-family.
Her hand on my head, well, it did not happen, but Valerie was thrilled. Bevin, too. Kind of how I thought it would go. Val wanted me to tell her future. I told her she's on her fourth or fifth husband. what's to tell? It's probably a given...
It turns out thay made the drive to Merced from Castro Valley and then they're going right back. They mainly came to see Merced, because Val is visiting and hasn't been back to Merced for forty years. She told me she has some Woodstock film footage, too, which she may send to me on CD. I was basically along for the "guide," as I see it, except Bevin would not cop to that. We two had a great time picking "arguments" and she liked my attitude about standing up for my opinions. I told her, "If you have an opinion, give it. No one has to agree, and if they do, they are being foolish." "You're right." [Plus one, Dad.]
The visit included In 'n Out, Mig Bike, and they treated me to a DD and shake. I counted ten taco wagons out on tour. You need to come through Merced, the next trip out west to climb them Yosemite cracks.
When we were at In 'n Out, I had the gall to ask for a photo of myself and Dolores standing by the In 'n Out painting showing the original drive-in so I can have a matched set of me and my wives in front of a fast food joint. Some un-romantic bastards (thank you, Lolli) might never think to do that.
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