Raliegh Collins RIP

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Levy

Big Wall climber
So Calif
Mar 15, 2006 - 10:49am PT
Raleigh was one of the most fun & enthusiastic climbing partners I've known. He always had a warm smile and a thirst for wild adventure. I vividly remember going flying with him & my GF Sheri in J Tree. He flew lower than some of the domes out in the Wonderland, we buzzed the Atom Smasher boulders, Queen Mt and spotted some crags near the 29 Palms entrance station. After we landed, we headed over to these new crags & put up 2 new routes that day. So sad to think I'll never see that ol' Jeep of his anymore. I'll miss him greatly

Levy
Shano

Social climber
Pacific Beach, CA
Mar 15, 2006 - 11:57am PT
just got word of the sad news. Some fun times with old RC. I thought you'd purged the old demons but apparently some just wouldn't leave you alone. You redefined adventure for me.
RIP Raleigh-wood - gonna miss you bro
-s
Largo

Sport climber
Venice, Ca
Mar 15, 2006 - 12:40pm PT
It took me many years to realize that the very qualities that make life catch fire at 20 can kill you at 45. Getting older is a job of slowly reeling yourself in and if you don't you're simply hosed. No point in judging those you never did so but it's a crying shame they didn't.

RC's enthusiasm was remarkable and infectious and I'm glad I knew him--but damn, dude! There was another way to go about things . . .

I'm pissed.

JL
Heyzeus

climber
Hollywood,Ca
Mar 15, 2006 - 04:51pm PT
Hadn't seen him in a while and really only knew him casually, but damm I'm bummed.I always looked forward to seeing him. I really enjoyed his being. And now he's not here.So the world feels a little less. A little lacking.
There was a cool photo of him a while back on the aguille de josh dressed in a Santa outfit, and now that I think about it I guess that was appropriate. He had a Santa quality.
I'm glad I have a some good memories of him. I hope he's free of his pain.
David
Ouch!

climber
Mar 15, 2006 - 05:02pm PT
"Getting older is a job of slowly reeling yourself in and if you don't you're simply hosed"

Well said.
WBraun

climber
Mar 15, 2006 - 05:14pm PT
I must be hosed .....
de eee

Mountain climber
Tustin
Mar 15, 2006 - 05:24pm PT
I climbed with Raleigh on and off for about 20 years and always had a great time. I am so sad to hear of his passing. Never caught a glimpse of his "darker side." Although, I never heard the full story of the day of the FA of "Puppet Boy," the short version was pretty funny.

Always wanted to go flying with him, maybe later.
Jaybro

Social climber
The West
Mar 15, 2006 - 05:27pm PT
Is Beckey unreel, or hosed?
Ouch!

climber
Mar 15, 2006 - 05:30pm PT
"I must be hosed"

Nah! You just ain't old.
Melissa

Gym climber
berkeley, ca
Mar 15, 2006 - 05:45pm PT
Raleigh stayed at the house where I was renting one weekend when he and his climbing partner had a very near death experience and then anticipated and then watched another man get killed in a helicopter rescue that went awry. My own climbing plans had fallen through for the weekend, so I speant a good part of the weekend hanging out with Raleigh. He was very troubled at the time, as one might expect in the context of his horrible weekend. It's too bad that his darker side is the only one that I got to see, and I'm also sorry that he wasn't able to unload some of his life's collected troubles along the way.

I'm not usually a fan of the "at least he died doing what he loved" sentiment, as most of us fully intend to live out the day when we go climbing or doing whatever. Although I can't imagine that Raleigh was acting from a place of love the other night, part of me also thinks that given his love of BASE jumping, if he simply couldn't bare to remain earth-bound any longer, he would make his exit the best way that he could. RIP.
Ammon

Big Wall climber
El Cap
Mar 15, 2006 - 06:01pm PT

Yeah, there I was sitting at the Deli resting up for the next day’s adventure. Both Raliegh and Dave asked me to go climbing with them but I had other plans.

They didn't know each other but I suggested they go climbing together. I testified for each other being solid and experienced climbers.

A few days later they told me about their near death experience with the widest eyes I've ever seen. I was just glad they were both ok, I would have felt very guilty if my innocent suggestion would have turned disastrous.

I went through many emotions when I found out about this. Including JL's "I'm pissed" feeling. I just can't believe that life could be so bad that it would come down to this. I wonder if things would have been different if he knew how many people were actually in his corner and would have helped any way they could have.
slobmonster

Trad climber
berkeley, ca
Mar 15, 2006 - 07:25pm PT
Hmm.

My last solo trip to Joshua tree immediately followed an intense, necrotic breakup in the middle of the San Rafael Swell, where I had met a girl for three days to discuss why and how she had been cheating on me for six months. Getting to Josh provided modest relief, I suppose, due to simple fact that there were people about, and most were friendly enough.

Raleigh fit this mold. I met him somewhere in the Hidden valley, lord knows where, and I got the sense that he tuned into my anger, my pain, and my depression, and before too much time had passed we were climbing some routes around "Baby Huey Packs Another Bongload" (or something). Of course he was somewhat spastic, and awkward within a veneer of confidence, but he was kind and encouraging exactly when I needed it most.

Several years later, embroiled in a sad breakup once again, I'm sitting at my desk instead of hitting the road to mourn; in many ways I am glad that I don't simply have the TIME to go sit in my van in the desert, cry my eyes out to no one and anyone, and climb with a twitchy malnourished anger. But I will be honest: Raleigh's suicide strikes a chord, quite harmonic to those rumblings in my own mind. It is scary, and I am frightened.
rlf

Trad climber
Josh, CA
Mar 15, 2006 - 07:39pm PT
My apologies for holding this back, but there were some very good reasons. Now that the dust has settled, I can elaborate a little more.

When I first heard the news I was standing on a ladder with my fingers stuck in an electrical box attempting to electrocute myself. A friend who is on SAR asked me if I knew Raleigh. I said yes, quite well. He then informed me that he had taken a "header" off of Sports Challenge Rock in Real Hidden Valley. At first I thought he had lost it on Leave It To Beaver, Raleighs all time favorite route. Then he told me it was a suicide.

Sometime late Sunday night Raleigh took the approach to the top armed with a headlamp and took a running jump off and cleared the base entirely landing in the upper apron. A long time friend of his from Josh was the one who found him the next morning.

When I heard this I went up to the park to speak with the Rangers since I knew I would have some information about him they might need. Hence my silence.

Raleigh left a definate mark on my life and I will never forget him. I hope he as at peace. I wrote the following to someone in an email regarding this issue. I believe it applies to us all:

Life is a valuable and fleeting occurrence we all share. I guess that for some of us, we lose sight of our value to ourselves and to others.

Robert

Klimmer

Mountain climber
San Diego
Mar 15, 2006 - 07:41pm PT
I would hope that everyone who knew Raliegh best and were closest to him are talking to one another and comforting one another. There is a very real need . . .

Like I said before . . .
http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.html?topic_id=166349#msg166502

I say this because someone taking their own life can lead to someone else close-by taking their own life. My grandfather commited suicide when my mother was in her first years of college, then my mother commited suicide in '89 when I was in college, and within weeks her second husband took his own life. The range of emotions for survivors are very real: extreme sadness (depression), guilt, anger, finally forgiveness, and then just deep love and sadness in memory. It takes many years to go the path. I'm still on it.

Take suicide off the table. It should never be an option to consider. Make that pledge to your family and friends, no matter how bad it gets, your family and friends love you. Talk to each other.

There is just soo much to live and adventure for. Suicide is not an option.
scuffy b

climber
S Cruz
Mar 15, 2006 - 07:42pm PT
Ammon writes:
"I wonder if things would have been different if he knew how many people were actually in his corner and would have helped any way they could have"

When it gets bad it's really hard to believe that anyone could
be in your corner. We can be really good at blinding ourselves
to what should be obvious truths.
sm
Off White

climber
Tenino, WA
Mar 15, 2006 - 07:44pm PT
Sad bad thing, though I haven't seen him in decades. I wondered at the title if it was the same Rolly I knew many years ago. Those were my EB's he wore that first time on Hesitation. Huh, at Suicide Rock no less. Damn shame, and so many to mourn him.
bvb

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Mar 15, 2006 - 07:51pm PT
yeah off, it's the same crazy buddy of neil and flower. i'm pretty sure neil took that pic of him upstream, at canon tajo.

2 thanksgiving's ago he hung around with the usual suspects at our campsite, and ate thanksgiving dinner with us. he really tuned into kyle and seemed to understand him, more so than people who've known kyle for years. kyle just sat with him and talked for hours, and raleigh spent hours over the week we were there teaching kyle to slackline.

he had a place inside him that could be extraordinarily kind and generous and giving.

i just don't understand this. i don't understand it.
Largo

Sport climber
Venice, Ca
Mar 15, 2006 - 08:25pm PT
There's only one thing to really understand here, and it's called addiction. Some of us are very prone to addiction (I am) and always have to take that into account. The only other option is insanity.

JL
flyingkiwi1

Trad climber
Seattle WA
Mar 15, 2006 - 09:33pm PT
Well, I think Todd Gordon has posted the definitive eulogy to Raleigh over on his site (http://joshuatreeclimb.com/forums/joshuatreeclimb/posts/29656.html);, and I've already paid my respects there, too.

But, in the face of what I perceive as criticism, I want to defend Raleigh's decision. My observation is that some people are given more stuff - especially energy, but other stuff, too - to manage than others. Of those, some are given or develop more effective tools to manage that stuff than others. But sometimes even those tools aren't enough, and they're left fighting for air. My observation is that sometimes people lose that fight. My guess is that Raleigh had won that fight many, many times in his life. This time he lost. I'm sad, but I'm not angry.

Ian
maculated

Trad climber
San Luis Obispo, CA
Mar 15, 2006 - 10:19pm PT
I am angry. As Slob and Largo have said, it's something I think a lot of us have to fight. I don't like to see people lose. Period.
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