Discussion Topic |
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jewedlaw
Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
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Jul 26, 2011 - 04:35pm PT
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Nearly ALL of my gear comes from REI Used Gear Sales, Craigslist, Prodeals, or booty I've retrieved. I don't think I have a single piece of gear I've paid retail for.
Sometimes my nose scrapes against the rock.
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Jul 26, 2011 - 04:36pm PT
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Hey, that schmuck Moses did OK with his climb. On sight, no rap bolts or anything. One of the earliest recorded ascents in history, apart from the stuff in the Epic of Gilgamesh.
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Gene
climber
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Jul 26, 2011 - 04:39pm PT
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Wasn't Moses involved in a rock chipping incident?
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Jul 26, 2011 - 04:49pm PT
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True. Plus when he got down his people kind of crapped all over him, and then spent thousands of years fighting about what it all meant. Sort of like Wings of Steel.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Jul 26, 2011 - 04:56pm PT
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Lmao. You guys...
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jewedlaw
Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
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Jul 26, 2011 - 05:11pm PT
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We sure do know how to bail if it starts raining, though!
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Jul 26, 2011 - 05:57pm PT
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Where do they make them and how much are they?
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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Jul 26, 2011 - 07:28pm PT
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MH.. don't you mean "wings of Shmeer"? And didn't Moses get into trouble over breaking up a summit register?
I hear that Donini's name was on that register.
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Gene
climber
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Jul 26, 2011 - 07:30pm PT
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Any group that overcomes formidable walls by walking in circles and blowing their own horns is bound to play in this sport.
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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Jul 26, 2011 - 08:00pm PT
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Any group that overcomes formidable walls by walking in circles and blowing their own horns is bound to play in this sport.
LOL, good one Gene.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Jul 26, 2011 - 08:13pm PT
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Oh boy, here it comes.
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Rock!...oopsie.
Trad climber
the pitch above you
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Jul 26, 2011 - 09:35pm PT
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Someone get Daniel Tosh for a ruling on this thread!
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Chris2
Trad climber
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Jul 26, 2011 - 11:51pm PT
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"Nuke this thread?" lol...you have to be kidding? Right?
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Jul 26, 2011 - 11:56pm PT
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Looks like the poor bastard nooked his own shite. Gud on ya'.
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Largo
Sport climber
The Big Wide Open Face
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Jul 26, 2011 - 11:58pm PT
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I wrote an article once about Brother Gaines and I guiding a conservative Jewish Youth group out at Josh including a 350 lb. Rabbi, Amos Shem Goldfarb by name, who pitched off "Tiptoe" and dragged my goy ass across the tundra at speed. At that was just the start of it.
Fact is, going on half of my adventuring partners have been Jewish - a subject that never fails to provide epics and fascination for all.
JL
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Anastasia
climber
hanging from an ice pick and missing my mama.
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Jul 27, 2011 - 12:03am PT
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Well, since Bachar was of Hebrew descent and... Since Tiffany Levine-Campbell is Jewish... I want to climb like a JEW!!! Please...
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D.Eubanks
climber
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Jul 27, 2011 - 12:09am PT
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f ) There mom's won't let them out of the house. LOL...that's a good one.
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Studly
Trad climber
WA
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Jul 27, 2011 - 12:13am PT
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They are to busy wailing at the Wall instead of climbing it?
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Jul 27, 2011 - 12:33am PT
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First Sodom & Gomorrah, then Jericho. Maybe they should refrain from wall climbing, anyway.
And then there was that business with David and his slingshot.
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couchmaster
climber
pdx
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Jul 27, 2011 - 12:38am PT
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LOL! worth the price of admission right here from Moosie:
..... didn't Moses get into trouble over breaking up a summit register? I hear that Donini's name was on that register.
Hah hah!!!! And then there was that most likely "illegal" burning bush in the wilderness thing that pissed off the authority dude too....hmmmm.
Mostly what I love about Jewish folks is that as a rule they are all so damn smart. (and fun too) Yes, a stereotype. So what. I have a life full of them. I was a member of the Jewish Community Center for many many years and I'm still waiting for the exception. Please accept my stereotype for now. There has to be a dumb one out there I know that, but most of the real dumbasses I run into are non-denominational white redneck types, some of whom are good folk, some not.
BTW, I always appreciated that the Jewish folks let my son and I get close and learn more about them. Same with the local Pentecostals and my daughter. Where else can you get your kids to learn how to speak in tongues? For free too! I use to tease her when she was @ 8 years old on Sundays when she came home from the church with the neighbors about "how did the Snake Handling go sweetie", and I'll probably go to hell for that cause I kept on it even after she told me more than once it wasn't even "snake handling" they did on Sundays but it was "speaking in tongues".
See, the Jew's and the Episcopalians would not make me go to hell for a little joke like that, and that's one more reason why I love em both. I hope to spend part of my weekend with the local Jews as they do the Shabbot in the park this weekend...but climbing calls so hard, much more than religion...Crap, I suppose that I'll be in hell for sure no matter what with that attitude.
Take care and thanks for the humor all! Here's Adam Sander with the classic Hanukkah song. Don't look at the calender please! It's a classic all year long.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeC8nTYEwQQ
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LuckyNeck
Trad climber
the basement of Lou's Tavern
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Jul 27, 2011 - 12:41am PT
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"sometimes I scrape my nose against the rock..."
...can't... Stop... Laughing....
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Anastasia
climber
hanging from an ice pick and missing my mama.
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Jul 27, 2011 - 01:01am PT
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Once upon a time, Bill had hair and it was glorious...
Yes, Jew fro is a proven method. Note below my husband on Denali.
As for questions about The Arctic Sephardic, I have PROOF!
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Jul 27, 2011 - 12:23pm PT
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Well,.. maybe they can't climb, but one of them led a pretty tricky traverse.
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jewedlaw
Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
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Jul 27, 2011 - 01:56pm PT
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Bump for putting lox on bear boxes
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ExtraBlue
Ice climber
the ford VT
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Jul 27, 2011 - 04:59pm PT
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Hey JAB lay off the Catholic jokes on the last one.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Jul 27, 2011 - 05:22pm PT
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I heard a jew repeated Wings Of Steel just to get a hole sale.
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Gene
climber
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Jul 28, 2011 - 01:35pm PT
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They have lox of favorite climbs.
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jewedlaw
Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
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Jul 28, 2011 - 01:47pm PT
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Why Jews make bad climbers?
Isn't it because we always answer questions with questions?
Belay on?
Well, what do you think?
Can you make sure?
Are you climbing yet?
Do you have me?
Are you going to fall?
Did you bring the bagels?
What? Didn't you bring them?
FALLING!!!
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Jul 28, 2011 - 02:54pm PT
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This thread is giving me the Hebey-Jeebies!!
Great fun! Laughing my ass off! You guys just HAVE to listen to this one:
Weird Al Yankovic singing "All The Girlies Say I'm Pretty Fly for Rabbi"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBOqaroAUKU
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Gene
climber
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Jul 28, 2011 - 07:02pm PT
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Have we done Shtick-Clip yet?
So bad on many levels....
g
EDIT: That's funny, Silver.
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GOclimb
Trad climber
Boston, MA
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Jul 28, 2011 - 07:05pm PT
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- Because when they see finger lox, they reach for the tub of schmeer instead of the chalk!
GO
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BASE1361
climber
Yosemite Valley National Park
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Jul 28, 2011 - 09:43pm PT
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They make bad partners too since the Jews killed Jesus. Can't trust em.
Why aren't there any black climbers?
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DJS
Trad climber
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Jul 29, 2011 - 01:14am PT
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Double standard.
Try laughing at a Jew joke told by a gentile. You will branded a Nazi. Ask me how I know.
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AKDOG
Mountain climber
Anchorage, AK
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Jul 29, 2011 - 01:06pm PT
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Because they are forbidden to tie into a rope or give you a belay on the Sabbath.
Favorite line told to me by one of my Jewish friends was;
My ancestors followed Moses around the desert for 40 years and he led them to the only place in the Middle East without any oil, WTF.
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cliffhanger
Trad climber
California
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Jul 29, 2011 - 01:42pm PT
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They'll wander lost in the desert for 40 years before they even find the climbing area.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Jul 29, 2011 - 01:46pm PT
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Moses wasn't "lost".
He wanted to raise a new generation before delivering them to Zion.
(sorry for the scholastic interjection, now back to yer shtick.)
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jewedlaw
Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
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Jul 29, 2011 - 01:55pm PT
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Jews are natural fast and light mountaineers. Trying to shave weight anywhere we can. Cutting the zipper pulls off backpacks, trimming extra length off compression straps, and a few days after we're born....
THAT is dedication, my friends.
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jewedlaw
Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
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Jul 29, 2011 - 02:11pm PT
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I was just at Masada in January. The Roman ramp is EPIC.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Jul 29, 2011 - 03:17pm PT
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The defenders of Masada were actually a radical fringe group, not mainstream jews.
The story resonates though, so has been co-opted.
The fortress that Herod built was really quite remarkable, and the main cistern held enormous amounts of water.
Quite the classic "stand".
I think the Romans may have been looking for WMDs.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Jul 29, 2011 - 04:52pm PT
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I was told that when they go over 20,000' their lips explode.
I'm just saying.
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TYeary
Social climber
State of decay
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Jul 29, 2011 - 05:01pm PT
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Oy vey!
TY
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Joe
Social climber
Santa Cruz
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Jul 30, 2011 - 12:10pm PT
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is this supposed to be funny?
racism, pure and simple....
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Jul 30, 2011 - 12:17pm PT
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At first that was my reaction.
But one has to learn to look at oneself with a little humor.
In comedy there is always a "mark", a victim. Why not ourselves?
BTW, if jews really wanted to save weight through surgery they'd get nose jobs.
I'm just saying,..
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Jul 30, 2011 - 12:29pm PT
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Joe,
Your sensibility is commendable but for the fact that many of the
most egregious purveyors of this line of 'wit' need no advice on who nose
what's acceptable. I can also aver that my Russian Ashkenazi friends would
think most of the preceeding is pretty tame sauce - those guys are downright wicked!
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Eric Beck
Sport climber
Bishop, California
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Jul 30, 2011 - 01:47pm PT
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Perhaps 1963(?) Art Gran (well known Gunks climber), Bill Amborn and I are climbing Kat Pinnacle. Art has ably led the A4 rurp pitch, one of the very early ascents. Bill easily leads the summit pitch, a 5.7 offwidth. Art, following, implores "Keep a tight rope, a fat jew is coming up".
Wifey sometimes uses that line.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Jul 30, 2011 - 02:19pm PT
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Hah!
A realized ultimate reality jew!
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Jul 30, 2011 - 02:41pm PT
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Just a variation of the jewish foreplay joke (a half hour of begging).
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Michelle
Social climber
SH60091
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Jul 30, 2011 - 04:22pm PT
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is it wrong that my wall hammer has "The Jewdriver" inscripted on the handle?
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aguacaliente
climber
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Jul 30, 2011 - 07:21pm PT
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It all goes back to Moses. See, Moses went up to the mountain, and summitted, which was good, but he also brought back the stone tablets, which was bad for two reasons. First, he shouldn't have been packing out rocks, it violates Leave No Trace. Second, the tablets were chipped.
We've been persecuted for style violations ever since.
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Captain...or Skully
climber
or some such
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Jul 30, 2011 - 08:56pm PT
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"I bring you these 15...oooops...uh, these 10 Commandments."
Sheesh.
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BASE1361
climber
Yosemite Valley National Park
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Jul 30, 2011 - 09:31pm PT
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There is not one photo of a black person leading an A4 pitch? Is there?
How many have done Freerider? Astroman? Rostrum? The Naked Edge?
We've got plenty of Jews climbing El Cap and hard sh#t. The Original Jew-Pac was one of the original Jew Gangsters pulling on hard rock.
But what about Buck Wheat?
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mtselman
Trad climber
New York, NY
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This thread is so Yo-Semitic.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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What's your on belay? Mine's "get yo schmuck-azz up here bitch!"
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BLR
Trad climber
Reno
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We tend to tip toward the hypochondriacal.
To wit:
A team of climbers returns to base camp after an arduous climb.
“I’m tired and thirsty,” says the German. “I must have beer.”
“I’m tired and thirsty,” says the Frenchman. “I must have wine.”
“I’m tired and thirsty,” says the Russian. I must have vodka.”
“I’m tired and thirsty,” says the Jew. “I must have diabetes.”
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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“I’m tired and thirsty,” says the Jew. “I must have diabetes.”
hahaha.. too funny!
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Have you ever tried to haul matzoh?
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Largo
Sport climber
The Big Wide Open Face
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Of all the times I've been cragging over the years, one of my favorites sessions was when Bill Leventhal, Dave Katz (the "Inflatable Man," owing to huge muscles), Joe Kristy and I were putting up all the routes on Mount Gorgeous out at Malibu. I'll have to tell the story sometime. I've had more fun with jews than I can remember. Of course the jewish thing is totally incidental to just being out there and doing what we do. It's only after the fact and reflecting that I realize, Oh yeah, Bill Sherman is jewish. Maybe that's why that brisquet he just cooked was so damn good.
JL
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Frozen Jews concentrate.
Jew 'n Mountain Magazine had an article in it last week called Psychological Protection on 5.5s by Woody Alpen.
Sammy Davis, Jr., had a crib at Jewn. And he loved to sing Climb the Highest Mountain...
He could yodel...man!
Buck Wheat could do Matzoh Thin, but not Wheat Thin.
Let he among you who is without Thin catht the firtht thtone.
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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I don't know about that.....the most famous Jew of all, Jesus Christ, ascended into Heaven unassisted- quite a climb in my book.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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I have wandered the desert with a real Ashkenazy.
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Neither of us had a clue...
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crusher
climber
Santa Monica, CA
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Oy veh!
Funny thread, must have missed it the first time around. I'm the one who brings the entire contents of the kitchen with us on climbing trips...I'm not the one in the family however, who gets lost in the desert. And he's not Jewish!
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Klimmer
Mountain climber
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The Hebrews, The Jews, The Chosen have a wonderful history of climbing and roughing it. I agree with JD. Yeshua ascended to the right hand of Hashem unassisted. G-d is all about ascending to the high places.
Moses, climbing Mt Sinai, The Hebrews 40 years in the wilderness. Great campers for sure after that kind of time. John the Baptist, hardcore. Yeshua fasting and scrambling, climbing 40 days in the wilderness of Jordan. Great climbing for sure there. Beautiful wilderness.
95% Gentile and 5% Ashkenazi Jewish and proud.
Klimmer
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Apr 25, 2014 - 11:58am PT
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Moosie, that was AWESOME! You're such a mensch! :-)
"Make yourself small"
Words to live by! And I almost forgot:
"Get up and get dressed."
I gotta try that today.
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patrick compton
Trad climber
van
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Apr 25, 2014 - 03:34pm PT
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Jew climber dilemma:
Free ClimbX cams
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Flip Flop
Trad climber
Truckee, CA
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Apr 25, 2014 - 03:43pm PT
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Never climb with the superstitious. Ain't no fancy god gonna pull you outta this mess.
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Apr 25, 2014 - 05:22pm PT
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Climbers make bad jews....or christians, muslims, mormans or any other faith. I'm proud to be a member of a tribe with such a healthy number of non believers.
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clinker
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, California
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Apr 25, 2014 - 05:38pm PT
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Climbing is the religion of lunatics.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Apr 25, 2014 - 05:55pm PT
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Some of yous schmutzes don't seem to unnerstand that being a Jew ain't
necessarily about believing in burning bushes and such.
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Apr 25, 2014 - 06:05pm PT
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I know Reilly, there is a grey area there regarding religion and ethnicity but Sammy Davis Junior was a jew...or am I mistaken?
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clinker
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, California
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Apr 25, 2014 - 06:08pm PT
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I knew about circumcision, the burning bush thing I hadn't heard of..
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anita514
Gym climber
Great White North
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Apr 25, 2014 - 07:13pm PT
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Schmutz is something you get on your face...
Maybe you mean schmuck?
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Flip Flop
Trad climber
Truckee, CA
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Apr 25, 2014 - 09:13pm PT
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Uh? Yes that's exactly what it means. It's a religion. Either you is or you ain't superstitious. People's Front of Judea, Judean People's Front, What Ever!?
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Jingy
climber
Somewhere out there
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Apr 25, 2014 - 10:30pm PT
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Four Words: Woody Allen On Slab
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Rolfr
Social climber
La Quinta and Penticton BC
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Apr 26, 2014 - 12:03am PT
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So one pork belly Jew decides its OK to make fun of his heritage and everyone one here sees it as licence to to stereo type Jews. Do you honestly believe he/she represents the majority view?
Get a fricking handle on it folks, would it be as funny if i disparaged your kids or family? Don't give me some BS about racial humour, intolerance and demeaning humour is condescending at the least and at the worst intolerance veiled in humour.
NUKE THIS F....ING THREAD! SHAME ON YOU ALL.
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fluffy
Trad climber
Colorado
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Apr 26, 2014 - 12:24am PT
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Moses, climbing Mt Sinai, The Hebrews 40 years in the wilderness. Great campers for sure after that kind of time.
Great campers. Horrible route-finders. Probably take em 50 to do the Nose.
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kunlun_shan
Mountain climber
SF, CA
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Apr 26, 2014 - 12:57am PT
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NUKE THIS F....ING THREAD! SHAME ON YOU ALL.
Not possible anymore, unless the admins do it.
Member profile information for mt10910 ..... This member's account has been deactivated.
I miss mt10910.
He's an interesting dude! Plus a pretty hilarious troll at times :)
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MikeL
Trad climber
SANTA CLARA, CA
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Apr 26, 2014 - 09:47am PT
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Never saw this thread before this morning. Laughed and cried so many times throughout. Really funny stuff. All my Jewish friends would laugh, too.
Actually, pretty tough people.
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MattB
Trad climber
Tucson
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Apr 26, 2014 - 05:09pm PT
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I'm crazy sensitive about racial humor. This seems kosher to me, though.
Best ones so far
Moses was a chipper
Walk around the base of walls and toot their own horns
Laughing = good times
Lynching = bad times
see george lopez george castanza adolph hitler david duke
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overwatch
climber
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Apr 26, 2014 - 05:19pm PT
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Hooked rolfr good
Mr sensitive says all good though
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| Messages 1 - 87 of total 87 in this topic |
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