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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jun 14, 2011 - 10:52pm PT
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The geriatric crew here may relate to this phenomenon that I've encountered.
I've lost the passion for climbing. The 'fire'.
I still love climbing, but since having a kid 3 years ago and being married, and having climbed for over 10 years...I just don't have the same bold passion I once had. And it doesn't really bug me.
I get the 'snaileye' more often now, and am quite satisfied climbing moderate, even easy routes. I still love getting out, but I'm just not as bold (maybe reckless) as I once was.
I still have fun and love the trips, but it's more about the social aspect of climbing that I dig, rather than pushing grades and being a 'badass'.
Some of my younger partners are hitting their stride (and they post here), and God bless them! As a result, they tend to be hitting the Valley and knocking out routes when I'm at home or at Castle Rock.
I'm not whining, really, just sharing some thoughts in case others are feeling the same. I was feeling guilty about this briefly, but realized that sometimes your life changes.
Needless to say, my re-attempt on Wamello Dome is postponed, there were no takers in my crew. I'm going fishing at San Luis for Father's Day.
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MisterE
Social climber
Cinderella Story, Outa Nowhere
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Jun 14, 2011 - 10:59pm PT
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That's when you resort to the fire in your heart - whatever that may be.
For me, it is always the woman and climbing.
Great honest post, Bluey.
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TGT
Social climber
So Cal
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Jun 14, 2011 - 11:00pm PT
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It will be back.
You have other priorities for a while.
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 14, 2011 - 11:11pm PT
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Yeah, I realize it will probably return, it's just kinda weird when all my younger partners are always super stoked and I gotta decline trips.
It is cool they got the passions though. I'm happy to say 2 of them I personally got into trad climbing and helped them with placing gear.
I'll be back, boyz.
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drljefe
climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
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Jun 14, 2011 - 11:12pm PT
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You will always be a climber.
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Studly
Trad climber
WA
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Jun 14, 2011 - 11:15pm PT
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Fire in the belly...it's gone? So you have to ask yourself have you been quenching it with to much beer?
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healyje
Trad climber
Portland, Oregon
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Jun 14, 2011 - 11:24pm PT
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Usually just means you've hit that stage in life where it's time to put the rack away and start drilling...
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 14, 2011 - 11:28pm PT
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You guys are funny. And I expected this.
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Charlie D.
Trad climber
Western Slope, Tahoe Sierra
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Jun 14, 2011 - 11:39pm PT
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Days of future past, mark my words it will return in the most unsuspecting way.....your kid bugging you or much sooner. Keep it fun!
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rottingjohnny
Sport climber
mammoth lakes ca
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Jun 14, 2011 - 11:44pm PT
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Can't wait to see Crowley's reply...
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Jun 14, 2011 - 11:47pm PT
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Can't wait to see Crowley's reply...
That's an interesting thought. Since this is a climbing post, Crowley's probably not interested. On the other hand, since he stalks bluering around the forum, lashing out at him wherever possible, maybe he will be interested.
Edit to add: Most people who are passionate about climbing find that their passion waxes and wanes. It will probably return, and if it doesn't it will probably be replaced by something equally idiotic, useless, and wonderful.
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Trad climber
Will know soon
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Jun 14, 2011 - 11:51pm PT
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Bluey, when my husband and I were young he climbed much and was pretty good at it. Then we had 4 kids......life changed.
I just really started climbing in the past few years and love it. Kids are raised and I can relax and enjoy the rock and community now. It's not just the planet that evolves, so do our lives. Enjoy what you have now. Too soon it will change and you will enter the next phase.
Trick is to relax, have peace and patience, and enjoy each part of life as it plays out. Love to you and your special family from lynnie
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bergbryce
Mountain climber
South Lake Tahoe, CA
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Jun 15, 2011 - 12:00am PT
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If it's any consolation, fire in the stomach is a lot better than fire when you pee.
Edited to add: I've got the fire right now bad and itis going to keep me awake all night tonight as I'm gettin' on a wall tomorrow!!!
For me it certainly ebbs and flows. Come late October and all I'll want is to ski some powder.
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Jun 15, 2011 - 12:02am PT
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Who knows, Blue? It does wax and wane especially when other things take prominence. I've had that thought before but the fire never really left in my case. I'm in a different stage in my life than you and like Lynne my daughter is grown, but I gotta say over the last couple months my own climbing jones has come back to me as much as ever before.
I suspect yours will too. Or maybe you're just growing up more than I ever did.....
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mike m
Trad climber
black hills
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Jun 15, 2011 - 12:09am PT
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Bluey, I had been climbing for 10 years when I had my son. He is now 10 and has a sister that will be 5 next week. I wasn't sure what to think at first but then started bouldering with the kids. It was a life saver as I had only been doing roped routes for the most part before that. If you can find a good bouldering spot you can climb as much as you want to with your kids there with out having to have a beley-b-sitter. I am certainly no great boulder or climber for that matter but it kept me going and has allowed me to maintain my climbing ability and have a family life that is fair to them.
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Mtnmun
Trad climber
Top of the Mountain Mun
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Jun 15, 2011 - 12:12am PT
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It comes and goes Bluey and life offers so many exciting experiences. Once Climbing is in your soul you never completely let it go. Some resort to this forum, others get out once a week, month or year and get their ya ya's out with friends and trade stories about the good ol days.
Relax and enjoy the family, who knows what adventures lay ahead.
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Barcus
Social climber
San Luis Obispo, Ca.
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Jun 15, 2011 - 12:16am PT
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Steve,
I am coming up to your neck of the woods in a couple of weeks.
We are going to climb rocks, drink beer and tell lies!
At times the fire dwindles down to a spark, all it takes is a light draft to fire it back up again and I think theres a storm brewing.
Will see you ASAP!
Marcus
Evil too!
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couchmaster
climber
pdx
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Jun 15, 2011 - 12:27am PT
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Been there done that Bluie! 38 years or so as a climber. For me, a lot of it had to do with a shoulder injury and massive amounts of new routing at a new area. I've gotten over the kid thing as they've grown up and moved out some time ago. So I stopped going out to that "new" spot, dropped back to easier routes, and redeveloped a love for the game.
You will too. Just catch your breath for a bit.
Regards!
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tom woods
Gym climber
Bishop, CA
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Jun 15, 2011 - 12:30am PT
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I've been thinking along the same lines. My boy is two and a half now.
I'm swamped with school, and multiple jobs and other stuff.
The fire is not out for me, but it doesn't burn every day like it used to.
A lot of the risk doesn't seem worth it. Many if the routes seem repetitious. I don't feel like doing the work to stay in shape, unless you consider round and pudgy a shape.
On the other hand, I do want to go check out new places. That part is still going strong right now.
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10b4me
Ice climber
Happy Boulders
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Jun 15, 2011 - 12:35am PT
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having climbed for over thirty years, there have been times when I didn't have the "fire". I took a break, and the climbing is better the second, third, and fourth, time around.
you still have the "fire", it's just smoldering. When it starts to flare up, you'll be back.
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StahlBro
Trad climber
San Diego, CA
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Jun 15, 2011 - 12:37am PT
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Hey Bluey,
I've been there. It comes and goes. Play it where it lays dude.
Cheers.
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R.B.
Trad climber
Land of the Lahar
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Jun 15, 2011 - 12:49am PT
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Even tho I am not quite 50 yet, I have been climbing for 43 years, as I grew up in a climbing family. My dad & mom were pioneer climbers in AZ. Anyways, climbing to me is a passion, but college, marriage, job, family, divorce, career ... life happens.
The one thing I can share is that climbing is a legacy that keeps on giving. I don't climb much as I did when I was younger, and in college I shredded. Enjoy the changes ... you will always have climbing in your history and it is something that will be there for you to pass on to your kids like my family did for me.
Edit: I look forward to climbing when I am soon to enter my second childhood. Wahoo!
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Chango
Trad climber
norcal
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Jun 15, 2011 - 01:28am PT
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I sometimes enjoy a sport more when I do it less frequently. There is less to prove, less ego and more focus on the event/surroundings as a whole. Of course, I typcially have a hell of a good time and then wonder why I don't do this more often...and then dive right back in full on. Circular pattern.
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Guck
Trad climber
Santa Barbara, CA
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Jun 15, 2011 - 01:51am PT
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Bluering, after years of climbing, climbing is now part of your life. One never lose the memories of terrible fright on the first lead, the elation of doing your first 5.10 -or whatever the rating was-, the discussions and bragging of fellow climbers and the dreams of new conquests. In the process, you learn how to relate to a rock, to the wind in the trees, to the storm coming in and to the sunset on the faces. Now you can share that with your family and perhaps your kids will have the same experience.
Aging is not for sissies. It took me a long time to realize that there was a big difference between who I am and who I think I am. Closing the gap is hard and one must accept the limitations of our body and our family. That certainly does not mean that it will be downhill from now on. It is just learning to have a different perspective. Personally, I know that I will never lead a 5.12 epic, and am at peace with that. After 40+ years of climbing, I still have the lust for the rocks, and would enjoy doing South Crack ten times in a row. Forget putting up new routes and focus on your love for the rocks. That never dies, and even if you lived in the flattest place in the Universe, you will have a pang in your heart every time you see a rock face. It is clear that at 65 one cannot do what the young punks can do. It does not matter. TM Herbert, Fred Beckey and the traditional climbing fossils still on the routes are here to remind us that we can still find immense joy in climbing.
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Jun 15, 2011 - 01:55am PT
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Luckily, "armchair mountaineer" is a perfectly acceptable subspecies.
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nutjob
Gym climber
Berkeley, CA
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Jun 15, 2011 - 05:36am PT
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Hey Blue, my issue is a bit different. I would like to climb tons more than I actually do. But I'm not willing to give up the other things in my life that would facilitate that. So I dream more, go for bigger adventures when I can, and when it's done I talk about it some more to make it last longer. Sort of like adding oatmeal to a meat loaf.
Sometimes I get jealous seeing how much other people get out, but then I realize I'm making my life choices and I'm happy with my priorities.
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 15, 2011 - 11:31am PT
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FACT: PUSSYFICATION OR LOW T BRA
Bwahahahhahaha!!!
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hobo_dan
Social climber
Minnesota
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Jun 15, 2011 - 12:15pm PT
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I've replaced whitewater boating with Canoeing in the BWCA, Ice climbing with X-country skiing, Climbing with Hiking and Mountain Biking
Just don't seem to have the nerve to do the risky things, About to turn 52 and while I'm not doing "impressive" things- I did get out skiing 80 times this winter and I've been on my bike about 25 times so far this spring- so I'm getting after it a lot more than I ever did while climbing or boating and I'm still having fun- which was the whole point in the first place.
Here is a link to a piece I wrote when I figured it was all up with me.
http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.php?topic_id=598542&msg=598727#msg598727
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ontheedgeandscaredtodeath
Trad climber
San Francisco, Ca
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Jun 15, 2011 - 01:55pm PT
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I was in my late 20s, had been climbing about 10 years, and was sitting in the rain in base camp in Patagonia when I was suddenly struck with this huge "I'm so over this" feeling. I stayed after it for about another 6 months and then moved to California for grad school and didn't climb for a few years (surfing will do that). I've since become totally re-stoked, though kids and work slow things down. No real point, just that climbing desire can wax and wane and there's no need to force things.
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Chugach
Trad climber
Vermont
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Jun 15, 2011 - 05:58pm PT
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Very Interesting. I am going through the same and have found comfort by telling my partners; "I enjoy being with my kids more than with you". It's not being mean and they understand.
When my kids were young I was way more into climbing and partners but as they age kids get so much more fun. My oldest is 13 and I realize just how short our time is. I now dream of trips to the desert with him to hike and go to bed early vs. similar trips climbing all day and getting loaded at night with great friends.
And, truth be told, two other factors weigh in; (1) my career gives me plenty of adrenaline at times, (2), I am getting older. If the climbing passion comes back; fine. If not, I'll find something else. For damn sure I won't be sitting around the house like a sack when the kids are gone.
Oh, and, gotta go. I'm traveling for work and going to do a little ropesolo at a local crag tonight.
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 15, 2011 - 07:41pm PT
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Very Interesting. I am going through the same and have found comfort by telling my partners; "I enjoy being with my kids more than with you". It's not being mean and they understand.
Funny! And true.
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Jun 15, 2011 - 08:29pm PT
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I def had other priorities when Natalie was young.
But lately it was a matter of coming upon, quite unexpectedly, the right fan for the flames. In my case it was a considerably younger climbing partner, a very intense individual, who absolutely would not let me play the age card. Now I'm back and sort of obliged to climb hard ( gor me )again. Weird.....
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can't say
Social climber
Pasadena CA
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Jun 15, 2011 - 08:32pm PT
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Bluering, I lost my passion for climbing after 25 years. Luckily I had found a new passion to fuel my interest for the next 25 or so. That happened to be road bike racing. But with that too, my passions waned and I was left without something to offload my ADHD juju. Of the three aspects to the human condition (logos, pathos, ethos) that the ancient Greeks identified, passion is the most important IMO. Good luck on finding a new toy. Its not easy
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Chugach
Trad climber
Vermont
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Jun 15, 2011 - 10:12pm PT
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So no sh#t, I'm watching the Stanley Cup final after work and climbing and I'm drinking an Ommegang (perhaps America's best brewery) and on the label is the following;
"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes". Proust.
Sometimes I wish I had known that in my 20's.
.
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marv
Mountain climber
Bay Area
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Jun 15, 2011 - 11:33pm PT
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but I trust your belly is still full of semen, based on your multiple posts about teh fags and such
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 16, 2011 - 12:44am PT
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but I trust your belly is still full of semen, based on your multiple posts about teh fags and such
Is that directed at me?? What?
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MisterE
Social climber
Cinderella Story, Outa Nowhere
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Jun 16, 2011 - 12:51am PT
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rottingjohnny
Sport climber
mammoth lakes ca
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Jun 16, 2011 - 01:16am PT
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Blue..The human spirit rises to climb only to be squashed by mundaneness...
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bvb
Social climber
flagstaff arizona
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Jun 16, 2011 - 01:54am PT
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Hmmm. It's been 38 years for me, and I still think/ruminate/dream climbing about 40 times a day. I still want and like to climb hard. Hard as I can, anyway.
Arrested development?
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
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Jun 16, 2011 - 02:24am PT
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only wish I had more time in a day to do not just climbing, but other things. Instead I focus on that which is the most fun.
let it ride. I gave up bigwall goals for 10 years only to come back and do some of my best aid work recently. Work gets in the way, but we make what we can of it.
this thread needs more pics...
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Oxymoron
Big Wall climber
total Disarray
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Jun 16, 2011 - 02:43am PT
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Maybe time to lay down & die. Maybe.
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ß Î Ø T Ç H
Boulder climber
bouldering
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Jun 16, 2011 - 03:12am PT
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... but I trust your belly is still full of semen ... So you pumped a gallon into him (or how else would you know)?
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howlostami
Trad climber
Southern Tier, NY
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Jun 16, 2011 - 10:34am PT
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Eh, it's a passing phase, probably a stomach bug or something. Get some good sleep, eat healthy and don't think about it for a couple weeks. It'll come roaring back when you least expect it.
Or it won't, there are worse fates.
Just love the life you live, no matter what you do.
Peace.
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mooch
Trad climber
Old Climbers' Home (Adopted)
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Jun 16, 2011 - 11:06am PT
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Gee, and I thought this topic was about ol' Mucci.
BTW, love the 'Thunderbelly' route name, Sean! ;)
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Blue Devil
Mountain climber
Virginia countryside
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Jun 19, 2011 - 11:41pm PT
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Hey fellow Blue, great thread (thanks for suggesting it) and loved all the discussion. Sounds like you are not mourning, but taking it all in stride.
I read a short interview of Conrad Anker recently, I forget where, and the question was along the lines of, what do you long for. And his answer was, "more quality time in the great outdoors" or something to that effect. I forget if he added "with my family" but as a parent I mentally added that phrase, knowing how much he has to travel for work. The vibe was along the lines of the wise man who said the best climber on any given day is the one out there having the most fun. I have three or four deep passions that stoke the fire in the belly, and so I find myself reeling in and out of universes over pretty big time cycles. Sometimes its the basic things that bring me back around, like the first deep inhalation of rock in spring, or wanting to see sunup or sundown from above the clouds again. I can also relate to lots of folks here who talk about those moments when we look at our children and realize in shock that our time together is so short. That's just the nature of parenthood. Who said wisely that the best climber on any given day is the one out there having the most fun?
Speaking of Proust, I remember being a teenager when I was told that Marcel Duchamp first gave up Europe for Peggy Guggenheim then gave up painting for chess. At that age I was like WTF? Now I get it. There was only one Peggy, and a master can push limits faster and farther in chess than painting will ever allow in a lifetime. Who knows what you'll discover on this leg of the journey?
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