Discussion Topic |
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Messages 1 - 153 of total 153 in this topic |
susan peplow
climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jun 17, 2008 - 12:37pm PT
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You steal toilet paper from public restrooms.....
You haven't paid for housing in over 3 months.....
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Jun 17, 2008 - 12:45pm PT
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Susan
Don't talk about Dean Potter that way!!!!!
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Moof
Big Wall climber
A cube at my soul sucking job in Oregon
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Jun 17, 2008 - 12:49pm PT
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When your shower in the parking lot outside your rig.
When you helpferry food from the dumpster to the waiting volvo, while local kids look on in horror. "Stay in school!"
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kev
climber
CA
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Jun 17, 2008 - 01:35pm PT
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When your idea of dining out is eating random peoples leftovers at the Woe Nelly.
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WandaFuca
Gym climber
San Fernando Lamas
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Jun 17, 2008 - 01:38pm PT
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. . . the SuperTopo forum is something you've only heard about from your trustafarian bros.
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susan peplow
climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 17, 2008 - 01:50pm PT
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You've spent more than 250 nights in a year in your rig, tent or some other bivouac.....
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MisterE
Social climber
My Inner Nut
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Jun 17, 2008 - 01:51pm PT
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You consider a 40 of King Cobra and a couple of cans of beanie-weenies a date dinner.
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Jun 17, 2008 - 01:52pm PT
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When you have to dig through your haul bag to find
your cleanest dirty shirt to go out for dinner after the big wall.
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Jun 17, 2008 - 02:05pm PT
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Erik
What a gentleman!!!!
It's the morning after that would induce suffering. . .
LOL!!!!
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Michael D
Big Wall climber
Napoli, Italy
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Jun 17, 2008 - 02:19pm PT
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You're totally stoked to find an unopened pack of frosted Pop Tarts under the drivers seat. Loose change is the bonus.
Cheers, Michael
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Jun 17, 2008 - 03:05pm PT
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you pass on your daughter's birthday party for a climbing trip.
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susan peplow
climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 17, 2008 - 03:14pm PT
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Your hair closely resembles dreadlocks............
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Prod
Social climber
Charlevoix, MI
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Jun 17, 2008 - 03:31pm PT
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I wish I was one again....
Prod.
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ChoochCharlie
Trad climber
South East PA
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Jun 17, 2008 - 03:36pm PT
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A Porta-Potty is an upgrade for #2.
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Todd Gordon
Trad climber
Joshua Tree, Cal
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Jun 17, 2008 - 03:50pm PT
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Can you out-dirt-bag Tucker Tech;
See how many of these you can check off
1. You don't own a car;...too expensive and there is only a 20 min. period each day where you are within the legal alcohol limit;....the first 20 min. after you wake up...
2. You only own one pair of shoes ( Besides climbing);..sandals only.
3. You climb in a swami only....(Leg loops are for sissys)
4. You never have paid for rent.
5. You lived in a cave for 5 years.
6. You have done back to back walls without bathing in between.
7. You only bathe every month or two.
8. You never comb your hair.
9. YOu have only been to the doctors twice;...both times others took you there because you were unconscious.
10. YOu haven't been to the dentist in over 30 years.
11. You don't own any underware.
12. You don't carry water in your climbing pack, or on climbs;....only beer.
13. You use lounge chairs "borrowed" from the lodge and convert them into porta-ledges for El Cap routes.
14. You jumar with the haulbag on your back as you clean aid pitches while soloing walls.
15. All your clothes you own were given to you .
16. You have lived on less than $5000 a year.
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Jun 17, 2008 - 03:56pm PT
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Todd
You're a slacker if you believe #1 is correct.
Or you're not drinking enuff. . .
You should be legally drunk when you wake up, if you've been
drinking. . .
LOL!
:-)
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k-man
Gym climber
SCruz
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Jun 17, 2008 - 05:21pm PT
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You wake up one morning and notice there's moss growing in your hair.
[What famous climber said this motivated him to move?]
Your version of an uncomfortable bed is a pair of aiders and a harness.
Your version of a comfortable bed is pine needles.
You need money only for:
- Chalk
- Resoles
Your "super market" is the campground dumpsters on Monday morning.
~~
Don't talk about Dean Potter that way!!!!!
SteveW, you obviously don't know Dean!
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Joshua Tree
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Jun 17, 2008 - 05:37pm PT
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Olde E is a once a week luxury treat after 6 days of CamoXXXX tall cans.
Sleeping in the (slightly heated) camp4 handicapped shitter is a real option during extended periods of cold or rain.
You hold your best cord up to the light and can see through it.
You have shellac'd the paper cups from every major fast food and coffee joint keep them in your rig to get lifetime free re-fills.
You pick cigarette butts out of ashtrays, extract the tobacco remnants and then roll it into a whole cig, using the blank pages out of the back of a pocket sized Gideon's bible because rolling papers are way too spendy.
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nevenneve
Trad climber
St. Paul, MN
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Jun 17, 2008 - 05:38pm PT
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Drunken rants about can recycling being to high class a form of self support to consider personally.
You walk farther than most people drive on a daily basis.
It is a natural assumption for most that if they have not seen you in six plus months you are probably dead.
Have mooned a large group whilst soloing in inclement weather.
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susan peplow
climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 17, 2008 - 05:45pm PT
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...."you obviously don't know Dean!"
you know your a dirtbag climber when.... you live in a shed for the season...
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Jaybro
Social climber
wuz real!
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Jun 17, 2008 - 07:19pm PT
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A shower every three months? -yuppie posers!
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k-man
Gym climber
SCruz
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Jun 17, 2008 - 08:05pm PT
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you live in a shed for the season...
That's better! ;-)
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Fish Finder
Social climber
THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART
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Jun 17, 2008 - 08:24pm PT
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You know your a dirtbag climber when......
your girlfriend from out-of-state has everything under control.
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Anastasia
climber
Not here
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Jun 17, 2008 - 08:43pm PT
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You are not worried over the fact that you have only five dollars left to live on for the next five months... Yet, you become extremely stressed when it rains on your project.
AF
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kev
climber
CA
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Jun 17, 2008 - 09:53pm PT
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...when small children scream and run from you while buying king cobra....
....when you don't care if people see you sh#t...
....when your car smalls so bad even the bears avoid it....
....when youre not surprised to booty beer....
....when youre pot is never clean....
....when you know you can get free croutons and salad dressing at the lodge caf (it's a frickin meal), free cream cheese at curry, and can occasionally sneak into curry caf....
....when you know the age of consent is 16 in the valley (thanks goerge :)....
kev
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Jingy
Social climber
Flatland, Ca
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Jun 17, 2008 - 10:11pm PT
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You fart and all the plants start to wither and die.
You let out a fart that can peel paint off a footlocker.
You have more money stashed for weed than you do for food.
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Anguish
Mountain climber
Jackson Hole Wyo.
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Jun 17, 2008 - 10:26pm PT
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You bring a crampon on a food raid, using it to create fake bear-claw scratches near the cooler from which you stole a dozen eggs (the eggs are always on top, so we always had omelettes at the rescue camp)
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TwistedCrank
climber
Ideeho
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Jun 17, 2008 - 10:40pm PT
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You know your a dirtbag climber when...
... you go climbing.
Pfff...
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marty(r)
climber
beneath the valley of ultravegans
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Jun 18, 2008 - 02:08am PT
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...you drive by a turnout and say to yourself, "If I lived here I'd be home now."
...you've eaten mayo for more than a week and called it good for your only food group.
...you sleep in a storage locker or boiler room through the winter months.
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susan peplow
climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2008 - 02:12am PT
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eKat writes, "when you don't know the difference between: YOUR and You're"
OMG! I am so humiliated, I don't make that mistake!! I'm a humiliated dirtbag! I'm half tempted to nuke this thread for poor grammar!!
Kath, you've ruined me! Damn you! You're such a )%(&% for drawing attention to that!
Damn it, damn it to your hell!
xo,
Sooze
Edit: I can't live with this...some admin needs to help a lady out and fix my thread heading. That or I'm dropping on a knife. Who wants to live with that on their conscience?
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TradIsGood
Chalkless climber
the Gunks end of the country
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Jun 18, 2008 - 07:46am PT
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When you use "their" as a single possessive pronoun.
Oh wait, that is almost everybody.
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MisterE
Social climber
My Inner Nut
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Jun 18, 2008 - 09:28am PT
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When you bathe with handi-wipes
When you offer to clean other peoples pipes for the resin
when you can't remember the last time your hands didn't have open wounds, scabs or gobies.
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FeelioBabar
climber
Sneaking up behind you...
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Jun 18, 2008 - 11:23am PT
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...when your wife leaves you, because your a f*#king dirtbag climber.
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kev
climber
CA
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Jun 18, 2008 - 01:07pm PT
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When the janitor at the 140 entrance gives you 2 rolls of toilet paper one morning and thinks he's doing you a favor (come on that stuff so free)
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susan peplow
climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2008 - 01:24pm PT
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....You apply for the "bear duty" job in the Valley so you can stay in Camp4 for free during the season.
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salad
climber
Escondido
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Jun 18, 2008 - 01:36pm PT
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"when you know the age of consent is 16 in the valley (thanks goerge :).... "
"You pick cigarette butts out of ashtrays, extract the tobacco remnants and then roll it into a whole cig, using the blank pages out of the back of a pocket sized Gideon's bible because rolling papers are way too spendy. "
excellent beta, gents!
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salad
climber
Escondido
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Jun 18, 2008 - 01:43pm PT
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you go to whole foods daily and try every single free sample at least once, and then purchase a single banana.
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susan peplow
climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2008 - 01:56pm PT
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you go shop at the dented can sale or better yet apply for the county's free food bag...
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happiegrrrl
Trad climber
New York, NY
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Jun 18, 2008 - 02:04pm PT
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you hold up your pants with belt of 1-inch webbing
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Moof
Big Wall climber
A cube at my soul sucking job in Oregon
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Jun 18, 2008 - 02:42pm PT
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When you instinctively sniff test EVERY lemon-lime gatorade bottle, no matter what.
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Moof
Big Wall climber
A cube at my soul sucking job in Oregon
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Jun 18, 2008 - 02:43pm PT
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When you've lived on Purina Monkey Chow for longer stretches at a time (applies to one of my relatives, thankfully not me).
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Anastasia
climber
Not here
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Jun 18, 2008 - 02:52pm PT
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When you have holes in your shirt, pants, underwear, socks, and seriously consider yourself well dressed for a wedding because they are clean.
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k-man
Gym climber
SCruz
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Jun 18, 2008 - 02:55pm PT
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A: Johnny Woodward on why he moved to Cali from the UK...
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Jun 18, 2008 - 04:50pm PT
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dirtbag story:
my cousin and i were on a trip to eldorado canyon. 2 or 3 days of sandstone clawing, several nights of margaritas in town. we hustle back to steamboat as my cousin is best man in a wedding. we don't even leave enuf time to shower. we pick up his tux and speed to the wedding.
the wedding begins and im enjoying a beverage with a grin. i then notice that my cousin still has tape on his fingers. my grin swells, and i laugh out loud.
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susan peplow
climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2008 - 05:34pm PT
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Slight drift but the wedding thing got me thinking....
20 years ago when I got married I had a double wedding with my sister & her soon to be husband who were both climbers. I didn't climb at the time.
200+ people at the ceremony of which I swear 100+ were wearing Tevas.
True story.
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Jaybro
Social climber
wuz real!
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Jun 18, 2008 - 05:46pm PT
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from 6/6 (but I wore the same for a wedding on 6/1) only yuppies can afford those extravagent teva heelstraps. And I'm a respected moulder of young minds.
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Anastasia
climber
Not here
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Jun 18, 2008 - 05:52pm PT
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I also have been to the kind of weddings where everyone's dogs and kids are running loose around us during the ceremony.
We dirtbags love our chaos.
Smiles,
Anastasia
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Jun 18, 2008 - 06:09pm PT
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more drift..
jaybro wrote, "...and i'm a respected moulder of young minds."
the 'moulder of young minds' reminds me of a quote:
'education is nothing more than mass hypnosis"
...reelling it back in...
i once was kicked out of a church parking lot bivy in tucson because we were "frightening the youths". the pastor himself gave us the boot and he (of course) didn't even try to witness to us. i took it as the ultimate complement.
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Social climber
valley center, ca
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Jun 19, 2008 - 12:30am PT
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When you have lived in the Leichtfuss Avocado Grove shoveling chicken manure onto the trees.....and you all know who you are!
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rlf
Trad climber
Josh, CA
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Jun 19, 2008 - 12:33am PT
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When your only friend is Tucker Tech.
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nutjob
Stoked OW climber
San Jose, CA
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Jun 19, 2008 - 02:43am PT
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you hike the sierras for weeks at a time with only a trench coat and biscuits in your pocket
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Jun 19, 2008 - 02:54am PT
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You're a good buddy of the climber named in this article: http://www.fresnobee.com/sports/outdoors/story/675825.html
The climber, "KY", "was a typical Yosemite climbing bum. He had long hair, dressed in raggedy clothes and avoided the park's camping limits by living in a cave near Curry Village."
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Michael D
Big Wall climber
Napoli, Italy
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Jun 19, 2008 - 05:01am PT
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Norwegian, You'll love this. Got the wife and daughter excited about a vacation to Russia...then mentioned, BTW, we'll be climbing Elbrus while there. Sweeeet vacation. Cheers, Michael
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noshoesnoshirt
climber
hither and yon
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Jun 19, 2008 - 09:26am PT
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I once pulled about a thousand packets of those miniature serve airline peanuts out of a dumpster behind some business that stocked food on flights. Lived off 'em for about a month.
I can't really claim full dirtbag - I left the packaged cold-cuts.
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MisterE
Social climber
My Inner Nut
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Jun 19, 2008 - 09:55am PT
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You guys reminded me of a wedding story about a fellow dirtbagger a few years back:
We were exploring new routes in Washington, and my buddy had long hair at the time. We did a free rappel in on this steep wall, and his hair got caught in the rappel device - sucked it through all the way to his scalp - and he started yelling up to send down a knife. I dropped one down the cord, and looked on in morbid fascination as he sawed his hair blindly right next to the skinny 9mm we were rapping on. He cleared his hair, but when we got to the botton he had a big raw spot on his head. He had to go to his brother's wedding the next day, so this is what he did:
He went to Safeway, asked to borrow a pair of scissors from one of the clerks, went into the bathroom and cut his own hair! Apparently, the clerk was mortified when he returned the scissors, seeing the very rough cut he had performed upon himself.
LOL! True dirtbagger!
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MisterE
Social climber
My Inner Nut
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Jun 19, 2008 - 10:53am PT
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Mike! You comin' up to the office today?
:-)
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nita
climber
chica from chico, I don't claim to be a daisy
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Jun 19, 2008 - 12:22pm PT
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I knew dirtbag climbers who....
slept with concession woman,just to get food and shelter..and sometime drugs.
would cut a raw potato, add ink..then stamp -saved aluminum cans...to get 5 cent deposit.
Scarfed cafe food.. as a way of life.
showed up at friends homes ..at suppertime.
only own towels that have..Yosemite lodge, or some other motel logo on them.
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susan peplow
climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 19, 2008 - 12:51pm PT
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Hording and gathering condiments from convenience stores, grocery deli's, gas stations and restaurants. When your food box is full of individual size mayo, mustard, ketchup, sugar, crackers & if your really lucky those glass jellies!
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Jaybro
Social climber
wuz real!
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Jun 19, 2008 - 01:12pm PT
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I wonder if my Grandfather was a climber and never told me about it.
we were on a family vacation in Sweden in '71, he must have been 87 or so. Anyway they would have these continental breakfasts with the little jelly containers Sooz mentioned as well as packaged cheeses, suasages, capers, sometimes erzats cavier, etc. we'd sit around and eat for a while and then my brother would nudge me and we would watch my Grandfather fill his sportcoat pockets with that stuff, much to my mom's horror.
Had he been a climber? or was that behavior learned from feeding a family during the depression, maybe?
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Anguish
Mountain climber
Jackson Hole Wyo.
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Jun 19, 2008 - 02:27pm PT
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When you collect raven sh#t out of nests because it makes your pot grow more potent (D. Miller, circa 1975, in JH, as told by YC at his wake)
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Anastasia
climber
Not here
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Jun 19, 2008 - 02:32pm PT
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When you think of taking a bath, you worry about how much it will cost you and try to convince yourself that the river isn't that cold.
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kev
climber
CA
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Jun 19, 2008 - 02:37pm PT
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You mean people pay to shower! Showers are free if you're creative.
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divad
Trad climber
wmass
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Jun 19, 2008 - 04:26pm PT
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Your friends and relatives have to ask on the Taco to locate you.
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susan peplow
climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 19, 2008 - 04:30pm PT
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"Your friends and relatives have to ask on the Taco to locate you."
hhahaa you just outed the Fish Finder
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Jun 19, 2008 - 04:31pm PT
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Jaybro, I suspect behaviour like your grandfather's isn't unusual among people of his generation from Scandinavia, or for that matter the U.S. and Canada. After the depression and then the war, they learned to be pretty frugal. Even the Swedes, whose economy wasn't hurt as badly during the war, but still was affected.
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Anastasia
climber
Not here
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Jun 19, 2008 - 05:45pm PT
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I am one of those people that always gets caught... I am a lousy liar etc. etc.
:)AF
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dickcilley
Social climber
Honolulu
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Jun 23, 2008 - 05:32am PT
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Enough of this dirtbag stuff.How about "You know you´re climbing Royalty (leisure Baron Etc.)when....The waitresses save your table at the sweetshop,drinks appear at your table without asking,The awhanee pool is your laundermat. the list goes on.Noblesse oblige.
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MisterE
Social climber
My Inner Nut
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Jun 23, 2008 - 09:33am PT
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Hey, Dick! How's that Moss tent I gave you holding up?
Erik Wolfe
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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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Jun 23, 2008 - 09:48am PT
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When you live for months on expired packs of chips discarded behind the Frito Lay distributor in Gunnison. When you had to decide between buying lunch or a carabiner. When every thing you own fits in a Lowe expedition pack. When the bulk of your soft goods are held together with copious quantities of duct tape.
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Dick_Lugar
Trad climber
Indiana (the other Mideast)
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Jun 23, 2008 - 11:17am PT
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When you try to give homeless people money, they offer to give you money first?
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susan peplow
climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 23, 2008 - 12:28pm PT
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Without naming locations (as this still goes on)
When you charge all your electrics behind ice/candy machines....
When you stock up on tampons from the courtesy baskets.....
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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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Jun 23, 2008 - 01:03pm PT
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When you can't afford a head lamp. So you tape a piece of alpine cord to one of those firefly pinch lights. This you bite down on while trying to find...
A bivy site
for the night
in the pegmatite!
Good thing you can't swallow
while you lead into the hollow
and prey your partner can follow.
But now it's well past late
you've no idea just how to rate
how far to push your fate.
In the pegmatite
for the night
what bivy site?
Sorry that just came out of me like a popcorn fart.
The head lamp thingy is true though.
come to think about so is the story line.
Dirt Bags Unite
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drljefe
climber
Calizona
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Jun 23, 2008 - 01:11pm PT
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When the only piece of Patagonia gear you own came from the Telluride free box.
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Anastasia
climber
Not here
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Jun 23, 2008 - 02:15pm PT
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When you can fix any camping stove (Primus, MSR, Coleman, etc.) but have no clue on how to programing a T.V. remote.
When you have hemmed your pants with duct tape. You have used duct tape at least once to patch your jacket, pants, tent, sleeping bag, backpack, etc.
(I admit to all of these.)
AF
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susan peplow
climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 23, 2008 - 02:28pm PT
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You get tooled for no registration on your rig. The merciful ranger gives you a "fix it ticket" after you explained you have nor permanent address.
Your trip to the DMV's insists on an address so you use.....
1096 Yosemite Drive
Yosemite Valley, CA 95389
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Jaybro
Social climber
wuz real!
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Jun 23, 2008 - 02:34pm PT
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uh-oh, is this (or any) world readyfor multiple Cilleys?
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susan peplow
climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 23, 2008 - 02:37pm PT
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"is this (or any) world ready for multiple Cilleys?"
There is only one true Dick Cilley.
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Dick_Lugar
Trad climber
Indiana (the other Mideast)
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Jun 23, 2008 - 02:41pm PT
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When homeless people offer you their clothing, shoes, etc.
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eeyonkee
Trad climber
Golden, CO
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Jun 23, 2008 - 02:56pm PT
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Other dirt-bag climbers seem snooty.
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Anastasia
climber
Not here
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Jun 23, 2008 - 02:59pm PT
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There is chalk on everything you own.
You have perfected the art of living in a car, tent, portal ledge, etc.
Most of your friends have never visited you in a house/apartment, they always visit you in; Yosemite, Joshua Tree, Stoney Point, etc.
All gatherings you attend are around a campfires.
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yosguns
climber
San Francisco, CA
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Jun 23, 2008 - 05:03pm PT
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Ummm...I'm at work...using a compression strap as a belt because my real belt (which I stole from my f*in dirtbag climber boyfriend) is lost in the car from our last trip.
"Can't 'cause I have plans..." without fail means something climbing related, much to the dismay of non-climber friends and family.
Proudest scores extend beyond the climbing world. For instance, bootying two nights in an air-conditioned room in Manhattan in June...going completely undetected and quite happy to avoid sleeping in Union Square, although you seriously consider it a perfectly viable option/backup plan.
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divad
Trad climber
wmass
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Jun 23, 2008 - 06:33pm PT
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Your underwear has more holes than a golf course.
OK, I'll get this in first: What underwear?
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MisterE
Social climber
My Inner Nut
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Jun 23, 2008 - 08:50pm PT
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when your jeans wear out, you cut them off to make jorts, which you wear commando until they are so threadbare people start avoiding you after first glance.
Then you save up and go get another used pair at Salvation Army for $3.00.
Repeat as necessary.
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Jaybro
Social climber
wuz real!
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Jun 23, 2008 - 08:58pm PT
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"when your jeans wear out" -and the animal nickname guy refuses to patch them, just sayin'...
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originalpmac
Trad climber
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Jun 23, 2008 - 09:50pm PT
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you are working a temporary landscaping job so you can have money for food and trips, your car is full of tape, chalk, the random sling, sets of stoppers, a beat pair of shoes and a few guidebooks.
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Tahoe climber
Trad climber
a dark-green forester out west
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Jun 23, 2008 - 09:59pm PT
|
Original poster: TOILET PAPER!?!
When you don't need toilet paper for days at a time, because (really smooth) rocks and sticks are perfectly acceptable instead.
Yes, really.
TC
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nutjob
Stoked OW climber
San Jose, CA
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Jun 24, 2008 - 02:57am PT
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you really try a dirt bath because "hey, it works for elephants"
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dickcilley
Social climber
Honolulu
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Jun 24, 2008 - 05:04am PT
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You grandfather clause your way into these Sushi Fests.30 bucks for a meal where there aren´t even Waitresses?????Give me a break! I´ll see you at the Ritz.
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susan peplow
climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
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Topic Author's Reply - Jun 24, 2008 - 01:15pm PT
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When you work YOSAR for a 'good' wage and sack lunch.
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AKDOG
Mountain climber
Anchorage, AK
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Jun 24, 2008 - 02:10pm PT
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When you wear your climbing shoes on the opposite feet because you can’t afford a new pair.
When the worst thing about breaking up with your girl-friend is becoming homeless.
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MisterE
Trad climber
One Step Beyond!
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bump: you have feet like Tucker
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Captain...or Skully
Social climber
North of the Owyhees
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Now....Mister E.
You know that NO ONE has feet like Tucker.
Close, perhaps, but no cigar.
Those are the feet of a champion.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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May 12, 2009 - 03:13pm PT
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on a first date, you pick up the girl in a mini-motorhome (your only ride.)
and for the pic-nic / hike, you only bring beer.
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drljefe
climber
Old Pueblo, AZ
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May 12, 2009 - 03:15pm PT
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...when your dog has been more places than most people.
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Steve L
climber
Sur
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May 12, 2009 - 03:23pm PT
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When your Prana capris are from last season.
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MisterE
Trad climber
One Step Beyond!
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May 12, 2009 - 04:21pm PT
|
When you ride a bicycle or bum a ride to town from JTree, because you didn't bring a vehicle so you could live in the park for 6 months
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drljefe
climber
Old Pueblo, AZ
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May 12, 2009 - 04:28pm PT
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...when the economic crisis...wait
...what economic crisis?
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nutjob
climber
Berkeley, CA
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May 12, 2009 - 05:09pm PT
|
... you finally get a job in silicon valley, and show up to work on your first day with all of your life possessions on your back and a guitar in hand, with no place to stay and no car, and assume you can spend the night at your boss' place.
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Choss Gee
Trad climber
Wyoming/Utah
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|
May 12, 2009 - 10:33pm PT
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When..All Five of your dogs eat better than you do.
When..Your once state of the art sleeping bag doesn't even handle the duties of a mosquito net.
When.. There's more rubber on the soles of your feet than the soles of your best shoes.
When.. A bear box is considered a fine bivy.
When..You're worshipped by the trustifarians.
When.. Your bouldering brush also has hygene applications.
When.. You ring out your hair/clothes/skin when your chalk bag is running low.
When.. You go to the produce area of a grocery store for a shower (those misters are wonderful). Extra points if all of the fruits and veggies are discarded when you're finished!
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DanaB
climber
Philadelphia
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May 13, 2009 - 11:41am PT
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You wash out (not wash) your t-shirts and socks and dry them by hanging them on the rear view mirrors as you drive to the next crag.
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susan peplow
climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
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Topic Author's Reply - May 13, 2009 - 11:57am PT
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You know you're a dirtbag climber when you live in the pull-out just outside of the Yosemite Park boundery. The closest laundry facility is the pool located just down stream from the "Waste Water Treatment Plant".
Rumor has it your clothes were say, less than clean when done "washing" them.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Mar 16, 2012 - 07:12pm PT
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i had to rifle thru my haulbag contents
for a wardrobe and found
what appeared to be clean collar shirt
and wool sweater. my house is
a cool 50 so i sport the attire and
meet my wife for a beer at the main street
pub. i had just plugged in two dollars
worth of dead and was sipping thru
the pleasant head upon my beer
when my wife looks at me with that
sidewinder stink eye and asks,
what the f*#k is that smell.
the bar was warmer, maybe 70
and as my body began to warm up,
those little hibernating bacteria
within my shirts started to party.
all because my wife refuses to do my
laundry cause she always finds lag bolts
and such in the wash after my pants have been thru.
so i never do it and sometimes get desperate for digs.
...dream a million bucks but live fifty cents...
im never poor.
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fosburg
climber
|
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Mar 16, 2012 - 07:36pm PT
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Curious how Tucker lives "without paying rent". And yes, in my experience, he is the most hardcore Dirthead ever.
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ImplicitD
Trad climber
Boise
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|
Mar 18, 2012 - 12:15pm PT
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I used to think I was a dirtbag...but sadly, Im not and I know that now.
Like many professionals who climb, I go on vacation and pretend to be a bum. Its fun and, hell, Im proud of it. I bust out my torn dickies pants and torn wool sweater, stop shaving, start the party before noon (my crew calls it the sh#t show), and send sh#t (when not laying around talking about how hard I was back in the day).
Still, I do show up in front of the class, ready to teach, and realize that I have dirt under my nails or I forgot to shave or I accidentally wore that old torn sweater or (gasp now mom) I forgot to shower.
Thats right, Im a professional applying dirt bag techniques to further my quest for a life less ordinary and filled with passion and zest for life. I steal hot water from the student union for my oatmeal, pop into the Marriot Courtyard (on my way to class) to get some free coffee with that old room key I found when my parents stayed there, drive a 93 nissan beater, AND (ok this one will do it) still use a first generation number one camalot (but only when Im not planning on falling (ok, ok, yes color coded neutrinos on the modern camalots)). What's more I always advise young student climbers to quit school and live in a cave in the valley and get solid...skills you can really use in life.
So, to each their own and especially their own interpretation. Of late, Ive found myself pretending to be a dirt bag (on my school breaks (two months a year baby)) with wife (knock, knock, knock on wood here ) and an assorted entourage of coeds (Im married and thus safe) heading to the crag to climb...and who do you think is the ropegun baby? We call ourselves team NEON and our motto is "We put the wierd back into climbing."
Exactly, lower your standards a bit (setting myself up here for a heckle) and maximize enjoyment by the reinvention of an old construct.
Thats right...hoot hoot ...thats right ImplicitD in the house Uh Uh Go Implicit Go Implicit its your birthday...everyday....being hardcore is way too overrated.
And props to Tucker, whom I met once (he asked me why on earth I hiked all the way up to Half Dome when there is a rather large roadside crag down the street), for without him we would have no reference point. He and Chongo are my dirtbag heros and will, inevitably, be the characters in bedtime stories for my kids...something to strive for when one turns eightteen.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Pollock Pines, California
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ah'v this sturdy habit
of pissing into empty bottles.
this tendency stirs of my
validated fears of epiditimitus,
which is a terrible and painful infection of the testies.
so whenever i gotta go, i go,
and i usually just find whatever empty container presents
itself...
(once it was my friend's bong, but that's another story...)
so i often find bottles full of piss,
just kicken about my confines.
twice my wife has taken a pull
from innocent looking water bottles,
only to get a too-salty-treat, but that's another story...
i've taken to leaning into wee pulls from
my piss cup, just a swill here and there,
cause im training my physiology to endure
urine on the intake,
cause i've been, too,
too often in times where
my piss is the last means of hydration up
against desperation.
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KP Ariza
climber
SCC
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Your only pair of shorts smells worse than a round of Red Hawk Cheese.....thats been sitting in the sun....for two weeks.
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dogtown
Trad climber
Cheyenne, Wyoming and Marshall Islands atoll.
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Can you out-dirt-bag Tucker Tech; no!
2. You only own one pair of shoes ( Besides climbing);..sandals only.
3. You climb in a swami only....(Leg loops are for sissys) yes!
4. You never have paid for rent. Yes!
5. You lived in a cave for 5 years. my basement Yes!
6. You have done back to back walls without bathing in between. Yes!
7. You only bathe every month or two. Yes!
8. You never comb your hair. have no hair Yes!
9. YOu have only been to the doctors twice;...both times others took you there because you were unconscious. Yes!
10. YOu haven't been to the dentist in over 30 years. No.
11. You don't own any underware. no
12. You don't carry water in your climbing pack, or on climbs;....only beer.No
13. You use lounge chairs "borrowed" from the lodge and convert them into porta-ledges for El Cap routes. No!
14. You jumar with the haulbag on your back as you clean aid pitches while soloing walls. What? Nut bag not dirt bag!
15. All your clothes you own were given to you . yes
16. You have lived on less than 1000 a year yes .
17. Thirty f*#k-in years ago
18. You gotta admit I’m close
19. Love to all dirt bags & Surf bums for we have a life!
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briham89
Big Wall climber
san jose, ca
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...you eat leftover bacon off tourons' plates in the lodge. Definitely done that a few times
You eat with a nut tool because you don't have a spoon or fork
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Pollock Pines, California
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you look at the apostrophe
as an a3 placement
upon which you hang
possession,
and youre happy when it
blows,
and then most of them
other diction pitches
up life's toil
you just skip the
grammatical hook
and run it out
happily without proper
pro.
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nutjob
Sport climber
Almost to Hollywood, Baby!
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I haven't expressed appreciation for Norwegian observations in a while; that last was an interesting one!
You know you're a dirtbag climber when someone else on Supertopo started a thread to collect money for you or host a fundraiser.
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Gorgeous George
Trad climber
Los Angeles, California
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|
NECESITO POCO,
Y LO POCO QUE NECESITO,
LO NECESITO POCO.
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rlf
Trad climber
Josh, CA
|
|
When Tucker is the only person who will climb with you...
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kennyt
climber
Woodfords,California
|
|
You can't post on supertopo cause yer busy climbing!
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Don Paul
Big Wall climber
Colombia, South America
|
|
George - aquí está el artículo completo, para que le citó solo el título:
Será porque tres de mis más queridos amigos se han enfrentado inesperadamente estas Navidades a enfermedades gravísimas. O porque, por suerte para mí, mi compañero es un hombre que no posee nada material pero tiene el corazón y la cabeza más sanos que he conocido y cada día aprendo de él algo valioso. O tal vez porque, a estas alturas de mi existencia, he vivido ya las suficientes horas buenas y horas malas como para empezar a colocar las cosas en su sitio. Será, quizá, porque algún bendito ángel de la sabiduría ha pasado por aquí cerca y ha dejado llegar una bocanada de su aliento hasta mí. El caso es que tengo la sensación –al menos la sensación– de que empiezo a entender un poco de qué va esto llamado vida.
Casi nada de lo que creemos que es importante me lo parece. Ni el éxito, ni el poder, ni el dinero, más allá de lo imprescindible para vivir con dignidad. Paso de las coronas de laureles y de los halagos sucios. Igual que paso del fango de la envidia, de la maledicencia y el juicio ajeno. Aparto a los quejumbrosos y malhumorados, a los egoístas y ambiciosos que aspiran a reposar en tumbas llenas de honores y cuentas bancarias, sobre las que nadie derramará una sola lágrima en la que quepa una partícula minúscula de pena verdadera. Detesto los coches de lujo que ensucian el mundo, los abrigos de pieles arrancadas de un cuerpo tibio y palpitante, las joyas fabricadas sobre las penalidades de hombres esclavos que padecen en las minas de esmeraldas y de oro a cambio de un pedazo de pan.
Rechazo el cinismo de una sociedad que sólo piensa en su propio bienestar y se desentiende del malestar de los otros, a base del cual construye su derroche. Y a los malditos indiferentes que nunca se meten en líos. Señalo con el dedo a los hipócritas que depositan una moneda en las huchas de las misiones pero no comparten la mesa con un inmigrante. A los que te aplauden cuando eres reina y te abandonan cuando te salen pústulas. A los que creen que sólo es importante tener y exhibir en lugar de sentir, pensar y ser.
Y ahora, ahora, en este momento de mi vida, no quiero casi nada. Tan sólo la ternura de mi amor y la gloriosa compañía de mis amigos. Unas cuantas carcajadas y unas palabras de cariño antes de irme a la cama. El recuerdo dulce de mis muertos. Un par de árboles al otro lado de los cristales y un pedazo de cielo al que se asomen la luz y la noche. El mejor verso del mundo y la más hermosa de las músicas. Por lo demás, podría comer patatas cocidas y dormir en el suelo mientras mi conciencia esté tranquila.
También quiero, eso sí, mantener la libertad y el espíritu crítico por los que pago con gusto todo el precio que haya que pagar. Quiero toda la serenidad para sobrellevar el dolor y toda la alegría para disfrutar de lo bueno. Un instante de belleza a diario. Echar desesperadamente de menos a los que tengan que irse porque tuve la suerte de haberlos tenido a mi lado. No estar jamás de vuelta de nada. Seguir llorando cada vez que algo lo merezca,pero no quejarme de ninguna tontería. No convertirme nunca, nunca, en una mujer amargada, pase lo que pase. Y que el día en que me toque esfumarme, un puñadito de personas piensen que valió la pena que yo anduviera un rato por aquí. Sólo quiero eso. Casi nada o todo.
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Mark Force
Trad climber
Cave Creek, AZ
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|
Feb 14, 2013 - 11:07pm PT
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To clean my palate from a recent "to dirtbag or not to dirtbag" post bump
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Mark Force
Trad climber
Cave Creek, AZ
|
|
Feb 15, 2013 - 12:26am PT
|
I know I can't be a dirtbag because I'm posting this off my iPad!
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Spider Savage
Mountain climber
The shaggy fringe of Los Angeles
|
|
Feb 15, 2013 - 12:43am PT
|
You sleep in a phone booth curled up in a fetal position on the floor because there is a raging wet blizzard going on and you don't even think of owning a tent. Oh, and one of the glass panels is kicked out so you find a soggy remnant of a cardboard box to cover it and put your back against it to hold it in place.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
|
|
Feb 15, 2013 - 12:47am PT
|
When you use a Jumar you picked up at the base of El Cap for 20 years?
Or is that just stoopid?
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Mark Force
Trad climber
Cave Creek, AZ
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|
Feb 15, 2013 - 09:25am PT
|
Spider and Reilly, you both are poster boy dirtbags!
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hooblie
climber
from out where the anecdotes roam
|
|
Feb 15, 2013 - 01:34pm PT
|
... when you rub a dub scrub your duds in situ over a sprinkler,
then drip dry down the sidewalk rockin' that polecat swagger
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|
drljefe
climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
|
|
Feb 16, 2013 - 08:06am PT
|
....when those Ibuprfens that have been floating around in your pack forever look pretty darned appetizing.
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|
Crackslayer
Trad climber
Eldo
|
|
Feb 16, 2013 - 10:40am PT
|
You know you're a dirtbag when...you accept dirtbagging as a good thing. It's funny how in this sport the person who dirtbags the hardest wins.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
the tip of god's middle finger
|
|
i show up to a meeting
with a new client.
im tidied the best i can.
got my computer bag,
calculator,
shoes tied (bowlines)
socks match,
underwear clean,
pencil is sharp,
ink pen moist.
we sit down in leather cap'n
chairs at the fancy
wood table.
my phone vibrates in my pocket.
so i pull the thing out to answer.
it only works on speaker setting
because my wife ran over it a few months
back. the guts on the flip lid
sprang all the hell over the place
so i duc-taped it back together.
the display don't work,
the thing is fixed on vibration mode,
so i take the call on speaker,
and it's one of my other clients
(competitor of my potential client)
and we begin to chat about a project.
i have to step out of the conference room,
and when i come back in,
the mood is light, laughter and glee seem
to thrive, and i win the contract.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
|
|
...went for a hike last week but didn't drink the 1.5 liter of Gatorade, left it un-refrigerated in the pack all week, and took it along today but didn't tell the wife. After drinking a liter of it today I noticed some strange fibrous masses seemingly swimming around in it. She was not amused. The next 20 hours will tell.
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jabbas
Trad climber
phx AZ
|
|
Man , you guys are tough. The most dirt bag of us all would lay on the dirt around the dying fire at a campground fire at JT and hope for a strip of thinsulite for a pillow or hope for a bag of garbage as a comfy pillow.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
the tip of god's middle finger
|
|
reily my wife
took a pull from my piss bottle,
cause i left it in the cup holder
of our vehicle.
she was not amused.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
|
|
Weege! HaHaHaHa!, Man, mine woulda made me run alongside the car.
"But, Honey, it is sterile!"
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Norwegian
Trad climber
the tip of god's middle finger
|
|
May 23, 2013 - 12:00pm PT
|
you break out all the windows
of your abode
and put bars on the door.
that way the fools seeking material gain
easily realize their knightmare,
while i, the king
am deterred from entering:
my dungeon disguised as castle,
and so unencumbered,
i conquer undiscovered worlds.
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JOEY.F
Gym climber
It's not rocket surgery
|
|
May 25, 2013 - 10:57pm PT
|
you actually find this position relaxing on the commute bus
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|
Sierra Ledge Rat
Mountain climber
Old and Broken Down in Appalachia
|
|
May 26, 2013 - 08:21am PT
|
^^^
part time pinko
you are the dirt bag king
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Norwegian
Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
|
|
i had a dirtbag moment not long ago.
in invited my wife out for a movie.
we stop at hank's exchange on
the way and i get a few tall boy coors.
i drink one in the parking lot
while she eats red licorice.
we both look at each others
confection with disgust.
that shite is creppy.
red licorice.
anyway i only get one down
then we start making out
because her teeth
are all red and
i just can't resist.
no we gotta go because
the flick is about to commence.
but i've still two tall boys.
so i stuff them down
the front of my pants
which by the way are
womens size 4.5,
and then poof out my blouse.
i'm walking the lot
like i gotta poo being born,
and make it thru the ticket
purchase.
i'm just about inside and safe
when i hear,
"chuckie!"
i don't even turn
because i recognize the shrill
voice of my ex-girlfriend bianca.
she's a sweet one and she
want a hug.
in she comes with petrified lust
and we embrace i'm tying to
keep my iced-midsection from
colliding with her microwave job.
super f*#king awkward.
she lets on that she doesn't
notice the cannon in my pants,
and i scoot towards the door.
i'm home-free and jonesin
for a cold beer kiss in the dark
back row, when i hear again,
"chuckie!"
this time it was debbie,
bianca's mom.
oh lordy she took me into
her loving grasp
and gently adjusted my poise
and she knew exactly what
was going down,
for i never once fooled her.
anyway we all sat together
and shared my beers.
my wife was mildly bemused.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
|
|
Part-time Pinko seems to be MIA, and after seeing that pic it isn't a mystery why.
That put me right off my lunch.
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|
Bruce Morris
Social climber
Belmont, California
|
|
You keep talking about "God" because you're trying to let them know they owe you a living?
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|
pb
Sport climber
Sonora Ca
|
|
your wife leaves you for a tree climber
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NutAgain!
Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
|
|
You're camping way off the grid in the wintertime,
making pancakes in the dirt next to frozen puddles while you're kids play in flip-flops,
and while sharing breakfast with the local homeless guy,
he asks "are you Travelers?"
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MisterE
Gym climber
Being In Sierra Happy Of Place
|
|
you get out of sharing gas by saying:
"I don't have cash, but I will lead all the hard pitches!"
And everyone agrees...
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|
donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
|
|
Good one MisterE!
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drljefe
climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
|
|
I don't approve
|
|
Norwegian
Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
|
|
Sep 28, 2015 - 06:41pm PT
|
i wear deodorant so
infrequently that
when i do don man-scent
my wife thinks
that i've been
cheating on her
with a dude.
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|
thebravecowboy
climber
The Good Places
|
|
Sep 28, 2015 - 06:45pm PT
|
you washed your ass in a river yesterday. And today.
by choice. shamelessly
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|
Spider Savage
Mountain climber
The shaggy fringe of Los Angeles
|
|
Sep 28, 2015 - 07:58pm PT
|
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NutAgain!
Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
|
|
Sep 28, 2015 - 08:06pm PT
|
:)
It's not completely logical, but I actually feel more dirtbaggish when I
have that same setup on the asphalt between cars in a parking lot
(e.g. to avoid wind). The dirt at least feels like you are backpacking,
but the parking lot just makes you feel homeless.
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climbski2
Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
|
|
Sep 28, 2015 - 08:26pm PT
|
It is -40...You live in a chevy suburban that does not run..and your transportation car has expired tags no insurance, no reverse and no brakes. You are still in the mountains several days a week
|
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
|
|
Sep 28, 2015 - 08:45pm PT
|
So the four of us, all packed into a Chevy Vega wagon, rolled outta Seattle
and headed for Bearflanks, at the end of January for a stroll up Mt Hayes.
We rolled into Bearflanks at about 0300 and went to some all night diner.
We were too cheap to get a room so the other three went in to suck bad joe.
I said, "Screw that, I'm gonna get some quality Z's" so I rolled out my
Holubar and Ensolite next to the car and was stackin' 'em within minutes.
Hey, it was only -30F. Next thing I know it's light and I hear some guy say,
"You can see his breath - he's still alive!" Then a TV camera got shoved in my mug.
"Of course I'm alive you f*#king idiots!"
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anita514
Gym climber
Great White North
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Sep 28, 2015 - 08:59pm PT
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When you use a deodorant stick at the grocery store then put it back on the shelf
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tom-2
Mountain climber
Portland, OR
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Sep 28, 2015 - 11:16pm PT
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....you've never heard of suptertopo.com.
:)
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hooblie
climber
from out where the anecdotes roam
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Sep 29, 2015 - 03:08am PT
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... you're failure to reside is deemed punishable by application rejection
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Norwegian
Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
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Sep 29, 2015 - 05:57am PT
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reality is a two-week vacation
that you take once a year,
leaving behind the dream,
entrusting your hommies
to maintain the wayward
mission while you're away.
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