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James
Social climber
My Subconcious
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Topic Author's Original Post - Apr 11, 2006 - 01:36pm PT
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His sequin jumpsuit reflected the flickering casino lights. The ice skates cut smooth lines in the ice, sounding like helicopter blades, as he delivered me my dinner of crackers.
It was two weeks before I realized the ice skater wasn’t real. I gradually woke.
The days passed slowly as I festered. I should be happy to be alive. The doctors told me I was a “miracle.” They had welded my body into a jigsaw puzzle of titanium rods. My mother was convinced that angels had caught me, but that it was the devil who had pushed me off.
Joshua Tree had maintained its normal winter weather, windy, cold, and miserable. Saturday, December 18th was an unusually good day. The sun shone warmly as the wind blew across the desert.
I ran up the formations around the campground, warming up for a redpoint attempt on a finger crack later that day. I was enjoying the uncertainty of onsight soloing, stepping into an insecure world where one’s emotional control outweighs the physical. I moved fluidly and felt solid as my momentum built.
The North Overhang slices across the top of Intersection Rock disappearing into the skyline as it skirts beneath a bulge below the summit. Memories of John Yablonski's naked ropeless ascent reaffirmed my belief that it was mere scrambling.
The beginning of the route went smoothly. A short hand crack led to a ledge where the route went out left to a roof. I moved out cautiously, feeling the jams. I sunk my hand in the crack around the corner of the roof and pulled over. I felt secure knowing I had sent the crux of the route. A hundred feet of space swam below me as I moved slowly up to the summit. I moved my feet underneath my body, a slight miscalculation. I started to barn door. My balance was suddenly gone.
I didn’t want to scream. I had too much pride. Death was imminent though and there would never be a more appropriate time. All I wanted was to survive. Seventy feet of air rushed by. A second later I hit a ledge. I was ecstatic and felt invincible. I started to sit up and promptly rolled off the ledge striking the ground thirty feet below.
At that moment all I wanted was to climb. I stumbled to my feet trying to walk it off. A seizure bolted through me and I started convulsing. My body crumpled into the ground. I tried to focus. I had onsight free soloed harder routes; I’d be fine. The crater I had made began to pool with blood. I heard the faint thud of a helicopter’s blades as I blacked out.
It was 381 days, seven surgeries, and eleven weeks in the hospital before I was able to climb the North Overhang again. My friend guided me up the route as flashes of my recovery came into my head. There was nothing inspirational about learning how to walk again. I relived the pain of the ordeal as I struggled past my previous high point.
I expected to find a panacea on the summit but the answer to my medical bills, the limp, and the haunting dreams have eluded me. The scars across my elbow, ankle, back, and skull draw permanent questions. Perhaps, if I keep ascending they will fade.
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scuffy b
climber
S Cruz
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Apr 11, 2006 - 01:48pm PT
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Thanks, James.
From the selfish perspective of the reader:
I've been waiting 381 days for the privelege of reading that.
It was worth the wait and then some.
You've been down a hard, hard road, and I hope my remark isn't
seen as trivializing your plight. Your toughness in recovery
has been most impressive. I'm so glad you can climb again.
By the way, your letter about T. Caldwell just cracked me up.
Good job
Cheers
Best Wishes
steve m
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happiegrrrl
Trad climber
New York, NY
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Apr 11, 2006 - 01:49pm PT
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Thank you James. I remember reading about your accident a while after it happened; your fall was at about the same time that I was on Adromena Strain, having my last climb on my first trip to Joshua Tree. We probably left the park just before emergency crew was coming in to help you.
Good luck in going forward, and thanks for being hoenst with the stuff you've gone through.
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malabarista
Trad climber
San Francisco, Ca
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Apr 11, 2006 - 02:02pm PT
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Riveting.
peace,
Michael
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mark miller
Social climber
Reno
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Apr 11, 2006 - 02:29pm PT
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Congats on everything James, but I'm curious you don't mention how hitting the ground felt. I've fallen free soloing back in the early 80's, ( 40 to 60'; Bandaged and stitched up head to toe at the ER) but the realization of how hard the ground feels going through your whole body is something I will never forget. Harder than you can imagine without experiencing it. I've fallen 25 to 30 feet in construction and have been able to sacrifice ankles and wrists to reduced the impact but a long fall such as yours has no comparison. Hitting the ground hard sucks and that feeling is like the sound of metal crushing when your in a bad car crash, some things fade away but those linger in the memory. Sorry you had to go through the adventure and damn glad your still with us.
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
one pass away from the big ditch
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Apr 11, 2006 - 02:49pm PT
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dang Mark, that sounds like about it right there.
I've landed on my ass HARD from high problems and the THUD that completely tells your body to "sit the f*#k back down" is serious and visceral. Imagining a longer fall gives me the willies.
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guyman
Trad climber
Moorpark, CA.
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Apr 11, 2006 - 02:58pm PT
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I am happy to read about your ordeal and the recovery. An OBIT would have sucked.
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maculated
Trad climber
San Luis Obispo, CA
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Apr 11, 2006 - 03:14pm PT
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You give up on the Alpinist? That ending is GREAT!!!!! Nice job.
Townsend also says, "Hi," and "How do you know that guy?"
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Jaybro
Social climber
The West
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Apr 11, 2006 - 03:27pm PT
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Amazing, James. Have you ever compared notes with Rick Donnelly?
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Karl Baba
Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
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Apr 11, 2006 - 03:49pm PT
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Thanks James
Seems to me you've already hit a new high point. You don't have the same fitness that you had before but you really seem to have changed for the better as a person. I'm glad you're here. Don't look back (although I think it's awesome that you went and returned to the North Overhang)
Just be who you want to be from scratch
Peace
karl
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JuanDeFuca
Big Wall climber
Stoney Point
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Apr 11, 2006 - 04:17pm PT
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Way to go James. I would have probably given up myself.
You are true inspiration to us all.
Juanito
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pud
climber
Sportbikeville
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Apr 11, 2006 - 04:34pm PT
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i think you are an inspiration James.
you are much stronger than most.
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looking sketchy there...
Social climber
Latitute 33
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Apr 11, 2006 - 04:55pm PT
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Great essay James. Very well done (the writing, the recovery and recent ascent of North Overhang).
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G_Gnome
Social climber
Tendonitis City
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Apr 11, 2006 - 05:12pm PT
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Whether you know it or not you are an inspiration to all of us. It takes real sack to get back on the horse after falling that far. Keep at it!
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maculated
Trad climber
San Luis Obispo, CA
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Apr 11, 2006 - 05:37pm PT
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James has some good stuff out there in addition to this one . . . give him a few years and there will be a Lucas Appreciation Thread.
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Chiloe
Trad climber
Lee, NH
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Apr 11, 2006 - 05:41pm PT
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Wow. Beautifully written, as the experience was not. Thanks for setting that down.
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Tan Slacks
Social climber
Joshua Tree
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Apr 11, 2006 - 07:26pm PT
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Very nicely told James and congrats on getting back on the same horse again. I will never forget looking down at you as we lifted off from the parking lot at intersection. My partner was not a climber and as we worked on your injuries I was explaining what a miracle it was that this was not a body recovery. To be honest, in the 10 years I have been flying into JT for a living I have never seen a soloist fall and live through the transport. I can't wait to tell Jill and the pilot that you are climbing again.
I think your mother was right. (Our mothers are always right)
I'm sorry I missed your visit and to see you climb again.
Awesome.
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Oakville, Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Apr 11, 2006 - 08:00pm PT
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Damn, you are one lucky-assed bastard! Congratulations on still being alive.
I get about wanting to climb after you fell. When I busted my leg pretty badly on The Ranch almost two years ago now, I thought it was just a "sprain", and hoped I'd be able to "walk it out" and carry on. Oh well.
Two years later, my ankle is pretty stiff still, though it doesn't hurt at all. I just went for a 35 min. run, no problem, and did two 24+ hour trips in Roppel Cave last week. So I'm lucky, but nowhere near as lucky as you.
What were the sum of your injuries, and how are you doing now? Do you feel you're getting stronger slowly still? My recovery seems to have plateaud. My ankle's not perfect, but it's good enough for me.
Hopefully the young whippersnappers - and a few old farts - will think twice about free soloing hard stuff!
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Richard
Trad climber
Bend, OR.
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Apr 11, 2006 - 08:04pm PT
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Talk about getting back on the horse and riding...........
Nicely done James, nicely done!!!
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WBraun
climber
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Apr 11, 2006 - 08:06pm PT
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Yes James it was a life changing experience for you.
You've changed to a more humble mature person. I'm thankful you survived both.
Best wishes on a nice future.
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