Now I feel terrible!

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adam d

climber
CA
Nov 1, 2008 - 02:58am PT
not a burn really, but everyone else here knows what that means


adam d

climber
CA
Nov 1, 2008 - 03:10am PT
Lois...not a burn...just implying it's a CLIMBING site and some CLIMBING references will go over non-climbers heads.


Great trick or treat moment Ron. I was at a Halloween party tonight that had higher than expected trick or treaters. Watched the hosts move from candy to fruit leather, to nut packets. Kids still smiled though...

I had a 14 year old in a Bill Clinton mask come to my door...he still referenced Lewinsky. Wonder if he knows about the last 8 years of more significant presidential BS?
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Nov 1, 2008 - 03:19am PT
hey there ron.. say, very interesting to hear this... you know, you just made a fast call so a small child would feel included... and you alread knew he had lot of stuff...

still, you touched on a very serious issue, as to:
WHEN AND IF, this is a habit for daily life (not you, in this case--since your consence was touched---you nice guy you)...

but, did you KNOW that nearly everyday i see folks do this type of behaviour with their kids--instead of telling them the truth and teaching them how to deal with it, and thus, have them become stronger and more stable, as they grow... instead of being pacified by "quick fixes" WHICH are lies ...

the habit is to let the kids go on and on, believing little lies from the parents....

what kind of relationship are these innocent kids bonding with, daily?

see---so, in the light of all this, you have now learned you have a tender consence... thus:

now you can feel MUCH MUCH BETTER! :)

so---go run and give your OWN kids a nice hug... :)


OOOPS:
*do you have kids, i forgot to soak that part in....
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 1, 2008 - 06:37am PT
Yeah, I knew that if I handed out anything that wasn't safety sealed the parents would interdict it later for the trash.
Still a lot of suspicion among the goyim ("YOU are the gentile!" "No, YOU are the gentile!!" LOL)

Lois needs to get sketched WAY above mank, sewing machine knockin' away.
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 1, 2008 - 06:52am PT
And I thought only priests gave fruit leather to kids,..
Raafie

Trad climber
Portland, OR
Nov 1, 2008 - 01:49pm PT
Consider this:
Kids get way too much candy anyway. . . so their parents end up sneaking or bargaining some of it away. And if they happen to be a climber, the extra pounds from all that candy will surely undermine their latest project. So you just did a good deed for the climbing community!

Positive thinking. . . .
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 1, 2008 - 02:38pm PT
translation;

WTF are you doing here?
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Nov 1, 2008 - 04:02pm PT
LEB is frequently sketched out. That is, sketched out way above reality in terms of her political and other beliefs. Sort of a team free solo, given that there are others here who share those beliefs. Somewhat surprising, in that LEB seems firmly rooted in reality in other ways - profession, career, hobby farm, etc.

Climbers quickly learn that being in high-risk situations without some empirical evidence to support one's beliefs is an anti-survival behaviour. You can believe all you like that you CAN lead poorly protected 5.12, even though the hardest you've ever done previously is the 5.9 green route in the gym. Likewise you can believe that Sarah Palin is the best thing since sliced bread. In either case, your beliefs are dangerously out of synch with reality.
Prod

Big Wall climber
A place w/o Avitars apparently
Nov 1, 2008 - 05:17pm PT
Never pegged you as a LIAR!

Prod.
Karl Baba

Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
Nov 1, 2008 - 05:38pm PT
Just answer the door festooned with guns, ammo and knives Ron.

Then look highly disturbed and yell "YUR GONNA DIE!!" at them.

They little bastards will forget the candy and probably won't egg the house either!

;-)

Karl
Brunosafari

Boulder climber
Redmond, OR
Nov 1, 2008 - 05:56pm PT
Lots of merit for trickin' kids on Holloween Ron, but it is a mite lame targeting the little one. Next time step up to the plate and steal some candy from the big kid.
'Pass the Pitons' Pete

Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
Nov 1, 2008 - 06:16pm PT
Hey Ron,

Can't you just kill a goat or something? [I never understood Leviticus much]

Cheers,
Pete
Token goy

P.S. There was these hot little highschool girls in angel wings that came by last night. We gave out chocolate bars, not candy bars, this being Canadia.
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 1, 2008 - 07:40pm PT
I didn't bother with the pirate costume last night, but in the past I would give kids lots of candy but then I would show them a box of human teeth and tell them what would happen if they actually ATE the candy.
'Pass the Pitons' Pete

Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
Nov 1, 2008 - 07:43pm PT
Where in the hell did you get a box of human teeth? Were you buddies with Joseph Mengele??
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Topic Author's Reply - Nov 1, 2008 - 08:32pm PT
Not exactly, but I know people,..
Pewf

climber
nederland
Nov 1, 2008 - 08:44pm PT
You mean LEB's never been run out half a pitch, forearms flaming, gripped out of her mind while she oozes off a greasy nubbin and a dime edge? Thinking about the whip onto that shitty string of psychological bunk that's just gonna zipper and send her for the dirt nap?

shucks

(sorry, little late but it seemed fun, and sorry about the candy + kid numbers, Ron. At least the little bugger will never know of the deception.)
F10 Climber F11 Drinker

Trad climber
e350
Nov 1, 2008 - 09:42pm PT
You could have tossed some ammo in the bag
Anastasia

climber
Not here
Nov 1, 2008 - 09:54pm PT
Ron,
Are those teeth yours and you've been wearing dentures this whole time?
;)

P.S. I feel terrible because I drank. Now since I rarely drink, this is a cool shut down feeling.

MisterE

Trad climber
My Inner Nut
Nov 1, 2008 - 10:01pm PT
Nice, Pewf - that's what I'm talkin' about, Right there.

Sets the priorities, it does
perswig

climber
Nov 2, 2008 - 06:48am PT
Late addition, but Halloween-related and my favorite alltime sorta-OT story. Posted by ewto.

Well, it's more like "Eric trying to burn his house down AND kill himself, AND kill his kids, dogs, lizard, and goldfish" but that title was too long.

So I get a new cheapo backpacking stove off Ebay a while back. Last night at about 8:03 p.m. I think to myself, "Self, you really oughta try that stove out before you head into the woods with it this weekend." So I grab the stove, and head upstairs to the attic (where the fuel canisters are ... with my backpack.) Now I know you are thinking, "He's not dumb enough to light a stove in his attic. Not Eric!" (At least humor me and tell me that's what you are thinking.) I hook the stove up to the gas canister, briefly think, "I should do this outside." Then my thoughts rapidly switch to, "Eww... it's chilly and damp outside, and I'd have to go down the stairs again..." Then I think, "This really isn't safe." Again, the dude on my other shoulder says something like, "Oh screw it! Light the damn thing!" I should mention here for those who don't know: My attic is the fourth level up in my house.

So I open the valve a teeny bit, turning the knob in the "anti-clockwise position" as the chinglish instructions said , hit the nifty piezo igniter, and the stove fires right up. Nice soft purring blue flame. I let it heat up for thirty seconds or so, then turn it up a little... it's roaring like a jet engine... great flame, lots of heat. I'm impressed. So I think, "I wonder what it's like turned all the way up?" Well, there's only one way to find out. I turn it up, and up, and up until suddenly there is a distinct POP and the little blue flame turns into a three foot tall yellow flame. In my attic. Nipping at the insulation. Trying to remedy the situation, I calmly started turning the knob in the "pro-clockwise directions."

Suddenly there is a second POP, followed by a whooshing roaring sound. Now there are two blue and yellow flames shooting out sideways from between the stove and the gas canister like a two headed propane torch, and the entire stove, not just the burner, is enveloped in a large yellow flame. No longer even remotely calm, I actually tried blowing the stove out with my mouth. You'll be shocked, I'm sure, to know that this tactic didn't work.

I turn and run down the stairs, past my sons who are watching from my bedroom and are just standing there like stone statues with HUGE eyes and gaping mouths... I think they were wetting themselves. I screamed, "Out of the way!" and started running down the first set of stairs, three foot yellow and blue plume trailing behind me and burning all the hair off my knuckles and hand. I hear one boy start screaming "Fire! Fire! It's a fire!" Thanks, Einstein. I yell for the boys to get away from me and not follow me, thinking that at any second, this canister is going to turn in to a homemade hand grenade. I get to the front door, now with my hand AND arm feeling kinda burnt, and trailing the scent of burning flesh and hair throughout the house, I grab the front door... it's locked.

See ... there's this project I've been putting off. It just so happens that in certain weather conditions (Say, like, when it's chilly and damp outside) the door swells or shrinks (or the house swells or shrinks, I haven't really taken the time to measure it) and the door becomes nearly impossible to unlock with one hand. So there I was, looking like Richard Pryor on a bad freebase outing with a ticking time bomb of a fuel canister burning the hell out of my right hand, and stupid door that stupid me hasn't fixed firmly locked in my left hand. I think I already mentioned my lack of calmness, but I'll re-emphasis: I was in a full blown panic at this point. I yelled "Fire! Fire! It's a fire!" (Thanks, Einstein) and was about to wet myself. Just as I'm beginning to think that at any second there would be a third, much louder POP followed by a lack of sensation in my right extremities, the lock gives and I yank the door open.

Now remember, dear reader, it's just after 8:00 p.m. on beggars night. Trick or treat has been over for mere minutes. I open the door and hurl the fully engulfed contraption with all of my might like an Irish Protestant with a Molotov cocktail. (Which is an amount of force somewhere between "Palestinian ten year old with rock" and "Irina, the Russian shot put champion with shot put thingy.") The burning stove and canister arc through the dark Halloween sky, flames trailing behind like the tail of a comet. The stove hits the ground, bounces three or four times into the street, and the flames go out. Shocked three foot tall Goblins, X-men, and Power Rangers are looking on from all directions... parent's mumbling something about "White trash" and "rednecks."

One of the stove's pot stabilizing arms was slightly bent, but other than that, it's no worse for wear. (I, of course, decided to re-light it once it had cooled off and everything seemed to work fine.) So my pro-tester review of the "Everst ES-102 backpacking stove" is very high marks on durability and heat output, and not so high marks on the flame control mechanism.

I'll let you know how it does on my trip.

(Oh, BTW... my wife thinks the funny smell in the house was just from a cheap tea-lite candle I bought at the dollar store. So ... Shhhhhhhhhhh!)

Sooo well-written; still makes my chortle into my tea as I re-read it this AM.

Dale
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