Trip Report
Ya Hallo from Munich...and Zee World's Laagest Boulderink Gym
Wednesday April 30, 2014 5:58pm
Mine hands es swollen. Mine shoos est stinkin since zey vere renten. Zis yim is sooo big! Zee men est soo stronk.....and zee women even stronker.

Credit: micronut
Ok, I really cant keep this up. I kinda thought it would be funny to write the while thing in bad german accent, but that would have taken forever. This shouldn't even count as a trip report, but I'm jet-lagged and can't sleep. So here ya go.

I'm in Germany for two weeks since my wife is a bit insane and has finally gotten the gumption to live out dream of hers wherein she takes the kids to a foreign country for three months to immerse them in a strange place and do a "semester abroad." We settled on Bavaria since it has flushable toilets, you don't have to watch your meal killed in front of you and terrorists aren't much of an issue right now (unlike our last couple family vacations)

I'm here for a couple weeks to move them in then will return in a couple months to see them and hang out and be a tourist in the alps. I have big alpine plans this upcoming summer and was concerned that a trip to the land of streussel, knackwurst and beer would put a serious chink in the armor of fitness I had been so hard working to don the past couple months (post knee surgery if you'll remember). But stumbling upon what the local interwebs called "The World's Largest Bouldering Gym" was quite a surprise and a much needed slap in the face after being tempted with the siren song of the 1/2 meter Bratwurst. A half meter? How long is that in feet?!

Credit: micronut


Here's a mini photo juxtoposition of food and fitness from a place I'd definitely recommend putting on your "To Go" list in life. Friday we leave for The Alps. Is there any good food or climbing there you think?

vegans and vegetarians need not apply
vegans and vegetarians need not apply
Credit: micronut
Yall prolly don't even know who John Bachar was. I'll represent by hol...
Yall prolly don't even know who John Bachar was. I'll represent by hollerin' "CAMP 4 OLD SCHOOL!" every rung.
Credit: micronut
The horror....the horror....
The horror....the horror....
Credit: micronut
The place was jam packed with hard men and women who probably have tea...
The place was jam packed with hard men and women who probably have tea and an egg for breakfast, and no dinner. Now I know whay all the Germans I meet in Yosemite say things like "Astromaan is fun ya? Tomorrow we must climp ze Nose yes?"
Credit: micronut
I think I got a cavity in my second bicuspid just walking by this plac...
I think I got a cavity in my second bicuspid just walking by this place. There's pure evil inside that door....pure evil.
Credit: micronut
I totally could've sent this lightweight little British Flag route, bu...
I totally could've sent this lightweight little British Flag route, but I'm a Merican! I didn't wanna waste my time on some sissy Union Jack action. Where's some Star Spangled Holds? You got annyof em round here?
Credit: micronut

I've had about six of these today. dslcjnlwcdoci....acDCNuchocndjn7423...
I've had about six of these today. dslcjnlwcdoci....acDCNuchocndjn742362#&#^*(...I ....seem flckjsdbckjhdsbck!#@% to have a hard time 37937649&^)#)@)iuhxksadbc focussing and my fingers are a bit shakkky as I tyyype.
Credit: micronut

The place is massive and full of supercool features and holds.  I mean...
The place is massive and full of supercool features and holds. I mean....if you're into gym climbing....which I'm not. Cause I'm trad. And rad. And I know it.
Credit: micronut
I have the strength of A THOUSAND MEN!
I have the strength of A THOUSAND MEN!
Credit: micronut
Es. Car. Go.  Always thought that stuff was French.  Hmmmmph.
Es. Car. Go. Always thought that stuff was French. Hmmmmph.
Credit: micronut


You can buy like 90 beers on most street corners in town.  It's like w...
You can buy like 90 beers on most street corners in town. It's like water for them apparently. The guy at the rental car spot told us to rent a very fast car and go on Autobahn and have "one beer." Because "It es legal and very fun for amerikans yes?"
Credit: micronut
Basically a little torture chamber area with a peg-board, Bachar Ladde...
Basically a little torture chamber area with a peg-board, Bachar Ladder, Campus Boards and the Dangle Balls. I did a ten second hang off the balls. Then moved on to the V1's. They were next to the children's wall and easy to find.
Credit: micronut


My daughter crushing some hard looking downward dagger thing.
My daughter crushing some hard looking downward dagger thing.
Credit: micronut
One cool thing about the place was that most of the top-outs ended on ...
One cool thing about the place was that most of the top-outs ended on a short little wall that you hopped over into a couch and sofa area to chill out and check the scene from. Basically the tops of many of the formations were lounge areas.
Credit: micronut



Oh yeah.  And they served beer and hot pizza in there.  Ze Germans.  G...
Oh yeah. And they served beer and hot pizza in there. Ze Germans. Gotta love em.
Credit: micronut

So, I hope you enjoyed my little fitness diversion. I plan on not treating my body to anything other than sights, pastry or anything that doesn't end in 'wurst from here on out. I promise. We have a big day tomorrow (gonna go check out a new gelato place for breakfast)so I better sign off. Until this summer Supertopo....Keep an eye out for The Mithral Dihedral Festival TR in June.

Auf Wietersehen,

Micronuut (I really wish I knew how to type an umlaut right about now for my name)

no caption needed
no caption needed
Credit: micronut




























  Trip Report Views: 1,828
micronut
About the Author
micronut is a trad climber from fresno, ca.

Comments
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Comment on this Trip Report
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
  Apr 30, 2014 - 06:05pm PT
They gots bier at the yim? I'll be right there!
T Hocking

Trad climber
Redding, Ca
  Apr 30, 2014 - 06:15pm PT
Have fun Scott!
TFPU
Tad
Walleye

climber
The Hot Kiss on the end of a Wet Fist
  Apr 30, 2014 - 06:25pm PT
HAHAHAHA! Awesome!!
survival

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
  Apr 30, 2014 - 06:26pm PT
Great TR!! A different flavor, yes?
Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
  Apr 30, 2014 - 06:39pm PT
Micronut's TR's are always excellent. Thanks for sharing and good to see you back crushing the 'stone'. :)
Brandon-

climber
The Granite State.
  Apr 30, 2014 - 06:54pm PT
Thanks!
phylp

Trad climber
Upland, CA
  Apr 30, 2014 - 06:54pm PT
God, what a fun TR to read! Except that your accent to my ear seemed like a combination of German, French and Swedish. I do love the food pictures - post more!
skcreidc

Social climber
SD, CA
  Apr 30, 2014 - 06:58pm PT
What fun you all are having! Great TR!!
handsome B

Gym climber
SL,UT
  Apr 30, 2014 - 07:02pm PT
Beer, Brats and Boulders. Looks Fun!
NutAgain!

Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
  Apr 30, 2014 - 07:10pm PT
Vunderfool!
labrat

Trad climber
Auburn, CA
  Apr 30, 2014 - 08:06pm PT
Nice! Thanks for posting up!
guido

Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
  Apr 30, 2014 - 08:29pm PT
Micronut can write this trip off with a little dental research in between his climbing and eating.........
Credit: guido
mooser

Trad climber
seattle
  Apr 30, 2014 - 08:45pm PT
Sehr fantastisch! Danke fur aufgeposten!
murcy

Gym climber
sanfrancisco
  Apr 30, 2014 - 08:49pm PT
Wow! Why is there another -side apart from in- again?
johntp

Trad climber
socal
  Apr 30, 2014 - 08:50pm PT
Damn! Three months in Bavaria? Hell man, I'll marry you.
klk

Trad climber
cali
  Apr 30, 2014 - 09:36pm PT
bayern has the best food in germany. and yr almost in the tirol.
Matt Sarad

climber
  Apr 30, 2014 - 09:48pm PT
I gave up being a vegetarian for a week at Oktoberfet 2009. The Weinerscnitzel was divine. The roast duck was the bet I've ever had. Liver sausage with cold pork roast, potato salad and Kloister Andechs beer was most memorable.

Next time I go I'll hit the gym early in the day.

Thanks for the tip.
bluering

Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
  Apr 30, 2014 - 09:58pm PT
Apparently the Euros are doing climbing gyms ze right way!!!

Rad. Thanks for posting this.
JEleazarian

Trad climber
Fresno CA
  Apr 30, 2014 - 11:58pm PT
Scott,

Even though I've been AWOL the last couple of months in the "alpine" Metalmark sessions (I say "alpine" because they involved an alpine start, even if they lacked an alpine experience), I am glad to see you're representing the Big Raisin so well on the Continent. I hope you and your family continue to have a great time, and I look forward to seeing you when you get home, and to reading more of your uniquely wonderful trip reports.

John
Darwin

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
  Apr 30, 2014 - 11:58pm PT
Pass on my apologies for what Real Madrid did to them in the Champions League semi. ... Or not.

Darwin
thebravecowboy

climber
just banana-jam it
  May 1, 2014 - 12:06am PT
dig it dude. watch out for the wursten though, all that gray sausage can make a man limp.
T H

Boulder climber
extraordinaire
  May 1, 2014 - 01:12am PT
Nice photobomb micro - yuor the the dude in the background with the calf-length weave right?
Phil_B

Social climber
CHC, en zed
  May 1, 2014 - 05:34am PT
Micronut,

Love the TR. Sounds like a great mix of food and fun.
nopantsben

climber
europe
  May 1, 2014 - 06:02am PT
HAHAHA,so funny:)
thanks for the tr.

if you get to Innsbruck, send me a message, I'll give you some food recommendations!
the gym sucks, but I can give you directions for that too.

micronut

Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
Author's Reply  May 1, 2014 - 06:38am PT
Thanks for the comments people.
Here's some shots of the local flavor.
the view down the Isar River from our apartment.  Idyllic.
the view down the Isar River from our apartment. Idyllic.
Credit: micronut
Our favorite local cafe.  Euoropean vibe in every way.
Our favorite local cafe. Euoropean vibe in every way.
Credit: micronut
Not sure if I'd be a "medium" or a "large" but I gotta have a pair.  I...
Not sure if I'd be a "medium" or a "large" but I gotta have a pair. If I buy a couple pair for me and Macronut, expect a TR clad in lederhosen on Mt. Sill's SWISS ARETE for sure.
Credit: micronut
Went to the Bayern Munchen Soccer Superstore.  I don't follow futbol b...
Went to the Bayern Munchen Soccer Superstore. I don't follow futbol back home, but these people are crazy about it and the Champions League match between Bayern and Real Madrid was in town yesterday
Credit: micronut
micronut

Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
Author's Reply  May 1, 2014 - 06:50am PT
Our neigborhood. Quiet and quaint. Outdoor Flower shops and bakeries on every corner.
Credit: micronut
Credit: micronut
JimT

climber
Munich
  May 1, 2014 - 08:19am PT
Beer in Bayern is classified as an essential foodstuff so gets a reduced rate of tax and there are well over 600 breweries there. Theres a number of reasons I live near Munich:-)
lars johansen

Trad climber
West Marin, CA
  May 1, 2014 - 10:55am PT
Great report micro! Take the family to Lenbachhaus Museum. Really great expressionist art. Have a wonderful time!

lars
Roxy

Trad climber
CA Central Coast
  May 1, 2014 - 10:57am PT
sehr gut!!
jgill

Boulder climber
Colorado
  May 1, 2014 - 02:31pm PT
Best TR ever!

;>)
NutAgain!

Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
  May 1, 2014 - 03:10pm PT
Dude, you have to get a felt hat and feather to go with the lederhosen.

I'm thinking this will be you:


Edit: Sorry for the image blow-out, posting a smaller one.
micronut

Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
Author's Reply  May 1, 2014 - 03:17pm PT
Nut Again,


Seriously, how cool would an ascent of The Swiss Arete be wearing lederhosen and calling all commands in accent.

"Ya!......you are on ze beelay Adam!"

"Ya climbink Scott!"

"Climp on!" Echoing across the Palisade Glacier.
Flip Flop

Trad climber
Truckee, CA
  May 2, 2014 - 01:31am PT
mooser

Trad climber
seattle
  May 2, 2014 - 09:33am PT
Seriously, how cool would an ascent of The Swiss Arete be wearing lederhosen and calling all commands in accent.

I did that all day at Lover's Leap once (the accent, not the Lederhosen), and a local guy invited us out to taste some local microbrews afterward to see what we thought of American beer. Sort of felt badly that we had to drop the accent and come clean (and yes...our accents were THAT awesome). Reminded me of the crash when parents tell their kids that Santa doesn't really bring the presents. (Shoot! I didn't spoil it for anyone here, did I??)
dirt claud

Social climber
san diego,ca
  May 2, 2014 - 09:44am PT
Great TR!! Thanks. Glad your having a blast out there, keep it up.
laurel arndt

Trad climber
phoenix
  May 2, 2014 - 02:05pm PT
Ausgeseichnet!!!

That was hilarious....loved your story, made my day.
Just got back from Dolomites and had to convert my American friends to the concept of meat is good, none of this pasta crap!!! After two days there the conversation on route was always what food we would have since it was always near by at a refugio/hutte. Yum Yum on the knackwurst, gulasch and all things meaty while there! The Sud Tyrolians really know how to eat/drink
Was Trinken wir? Schulteiss Bier
Marlow

Sport climber
OSLO
  May 2, 2014 - 03:42pm PT
Plastic Fantastic! TFPU
lars johansen

Trad climber
West Marin, CA
  May 2, 2014 - 06:25pm PT
Man I'm so envious of your 3 month vacation. Here's some shots from recent trip last fall. Can't wait to go back.
Credit: lars johansen
These guys and gals were rippin' it up.
Credit: lars johansen
Lots of cool stuff on buildings
Credit: lars johansen
Credit: lars johansen
The Glockenspiel
Credit: lars johansen
Credit: lars johansen
[photo
Credit: lars johansen
id=356268]
Happy Trails!
lars

L

climber
California dreamin' on the farside of the world..
  May 2, 2014 - 10:56pm PT
Ach, du meine Gte!

Hysterical!
Vitaliy M.

Mountain climber
San Francisco
  May 5, 2014 - 01:19am PT
Awesome report. Would love to eat some of that food you took photos of. Probably hard to look at all those posters with a straight face :)
PAUL SOUZA

Trad climber
Central Valley, CA
  May 5, 2014 - 10:56am PT
Awesome!! Enjoy Scott and safe travels!
kaholatingtong

Trad climber
Marcus McCoy from Nevada City
  May 5, 2014 - 01:10pm PT
interesting tr, in a good way. sick food pics brah!
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