Trip Report
Valley of the Gods--an atheist gets religion
Thursday May 10, 2012 7:50pm
Chip called me up. His concrete company had no work. So, where to go climbing?

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Bridger Jacks at Indian Creek
Bridger Jacks at Indian Creek
Credit: crunch
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Indian Creek? Nah....to many people....

Fisher Towers?

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Fisher Towers
Fisher Towers
Credit: crunch
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Oh no, not again......

No. It was time to revisit Valley of the Gods, far south, near Mexican Hat. Long, long drive, but no crowds--in fact almost no people at all. Chip's dogs Millie and Art could come, too. Excellent!

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Millie
Millie
Credit: crunch
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Valley of the Gods
Valley of the Gods
Credit: crunch
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And what to climb?

The most esthetic, loneliest of all the formations is this:

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Lady in the Bathtub
Lady in the Bathtub
Credit: crunch
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Lady in the Bathtub.

We hiked in--it’s a long hike, like a couple miles--intending to do the original route, done by George Hurley and Bill Forrest back in the mid-'70s. But once at the base, a recent, steep, direct climb up the south face, called Cape Town Caper, grabbed our attention like a pretty nurse in a nursing home.

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Chip eyeing up the Lady in the Bathtub's nether regions. Or something.
Chip eyeing up the Lady in the Bathtub's nether regions. Or something.
Credit: crunch
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Me, getting started, pretending not to be using aid on the "5.8" pitch...
Me, getting started, pretending not to be using aid on the "5.8" pitch.
Credit: crunch
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The first pitch ended at a nice big ledge. A ledge made of rubble. So I continued upward for another half a pitch.

next day, Here's Chip jumaring to the high point:

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Credit: crunch
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Chip cruised to the next ledge, then started up the last pitch. A banshee wind screamed in. The dogs, at the base, began howling. We narrowly escaped having to bivy on the halfway ledge.

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Down from the tower mid-windstorm
Down from the tower mid-windstorm
Credit: crunch
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Next day, wild morning light:

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Morning.
Morning.
Credit: crunch
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Valley of the acid-taking gods
Valley of the acid-taking gods
Credit: crunch
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We took the day off, drove around the rez, amid occasional blizzards. Next morning, all was calm, but not quite what we were hoping for:

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Credit: crunch
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We retired to the San Juan Inn for a great breakfast served by Joey

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San Juan Inn and Trading Post
San Juan Inn and Trading Post
Credit: crunch
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The weather improved and we finally summited a classic tower, easy on paper, but several days to complete.

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Rap anchor
Rap anchor
Credit: crunch
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nearby was another formation, Hidden Tower:

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Hidden Tower
Hidden Tower
Credit: crunch
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Well, okay, it's not really so nearby. A full three mile approach, including a 500-foot talus cone.

There was an alluring line, of course, seemingly unclimbed:

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Hidden Tower south face
Hidden Tower south face
Credit: crunch
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And of course, it turned out that if this was visible from a mile away it was not going to be hands--duhh....

In fact getting to the splitter looked really chossy, so we picked a dihedral to the right. After a 15-foot scramble, the first piece was a Tomahawk (the tiniest, of course). Much whining ensued, but in the end I stepped up and got going.

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Tomahawk!
Tomahawk!
Credit: crunch
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A fine pitch of all sizes of crack followed. Including a splitter seam through a shield, high up. At one point I had to dislodge a microwave-size block at arm's reach above me. There should be a name for this procedure. You reach up and slowly, millimeter by millimeter, move the boulder to its tipping point. Then comes the exciting bit; with belayer safely around a corner, you nudge the boulder the final bit. And you have a fraction of a second, a tiny instant, where this rock--right above you--is on its way--there's no going back!--but it has no momentum and you can direct it away from your own head. Time this wrong and you risk head injury or damaged ropes or worse.

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Looking down P1
Looking down P1
Credit: crunch
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Attentive belayer:

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Chip, Millie and Art
Chip, Millie and Art
Credit: crunch
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Next pitch started steep, became loose then entered a splitter crack then turned out to be 6-9 inches over a 50-foot stretch.

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Credit: crunch
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A third pitch was frighteningly loose (if only because of the belayer right below...). The summit silent, strange, no sign whatsoever of other visits

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Arriving on the top!
Arriving on the top!
Credit: crunch
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View to north
View to north
Credit: crunch
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view to south
view to south
Credit: crunch
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Summit dweller
Summit dweller
Credit: crunch
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Chip, crunch, summit Hidden Tower. Third ascent of tower, first of our...
Chip, crunch, summit Hidden Tower. Third ascent of tower, first of our route
Credit: crunch
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25 years--to the month!--since me, Chip atop Eagle Plume, Valley of Go...
25 years--to the month!--since me, Chip atop Eagle Plume, Valley of Gods, after FA of Milk Crates From Hell (March 1987)
Credit: crunch
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Yeah! Twenty-five years of keeping one step ahead of the crowds! Woohoo.

Anyone around Colorado Springs this weekend, I'm doing a slideshow Saturday at the climbing gym Sport Climbing Center. Come and listen to many more tall tales! Next Thursday a show at Neptunes in Boulder, with Lynn Hill.


  Trip Report Views: 4,575
crunch
About the Author
crunch is a social climber from CO.

Comments
Ezra Ellis

Trad climber
North wet, and Da souf
  May 10, 2012 - 09:40pm PT
Totally awesome TR, looks like a Heck of and ADVENTURE!

Thanks, way to send it!

WOOOOOT!

25 years later, WOW, quite a time machine!
ms55401

Trad climber
minneapolis, mn
  May 10, 2012 - 09:44pm PT
nice photos, good write-up
Captain...or Skully

climber
Boise, ID
  May 10, 2012 - 09:53pm PT
Right on, Crusher. TFPU, man.
Towers are Cool.
MH2

Boulder climber
Andy Cairns
  May 10, 2012 - 09:54pm PT
If that's a lady in a bathtub then I'm a monkey sending. But good to see that you are keeping out of trouble in such style.
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
  May 10, 2012 - 10:04pm PT

Dern, Steve, makes me want MORE, MORE, MORE!!!!
zoom loco

Mountain climber
san diego ca
  May 10, 2012 - 10:05pm PT
Kor said a tower is worth 5 big walls. Congrats on five FAs then!
crunch

Social climber
CO
Author's Reply  May 10, 2012 - 11:40pm PT
Thanks for the kind comments. I say, More climbing, less politics.

Some of the gear that we hauled to the top:

Fritz

Social climber
Choss Creek, ID
  May 10, 2012 - 11:53pm PT
WOOHOO!!

I just got back from the area!

3 days to the south, on the upper San Juan River, and 3 days to the north on Cedar Mesa.

A deep-bow to Crunch for doing stuff like this!

Awesome is the word.

Doooode!


The photos are "the bomb" too!
Captain...or Skully

climber
Boise, ID
  May 10, 2012 - 11:47pm PT
I like your Dora the Explora pack, Steve.
Styley. ;-)
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
  May 11, 2012 - 12:02am PT
Lonely times on lonely climbs. The best kind.
survival

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
  May 11, 2012 - 12:25am PT
This is soooo fecking cool.

You guys are my HEROES!!!
Fritz

Social climber
Choss Creek, ID
  May 11, 2012 - 12:26am PT
Todd Gordon

Trad climber
Joshua Tree, Cal
  May 11, 2012 - 04:11am PT
Can't have fun unless you are getting dirty...
goatboy smellz

climber
Gulf Breeze
  May 11, 2012 - 08:47am PT
Good one Crusher!
Dos XX

Trad climber
Los Angeles, CA
  May 11, 2012 - 09:02am PT
Superb!
Les

Trad climber
Bahston
  May 11, 2012 - 10:09am PT
Those pictures are beautiful. Man, the desert is such a gorgeous place.
survival

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
  May 11, 2012 - 10:32am PT
Best TR at the Taco stand right now.
ydpl8s

Trad climber
Santa Monica, California
  May 11, 2012 - 11:06am PT
Adventure climbing, FA's, no frikken conga lines, that's what it's all about!
phylp

Trad climber
Upland, CA
  May 11, 2012 - 08:21pm PT
You desert rubble climbing folks are so friggin' hardcore. And I mean that completely sincerely. Scares the c*&p out of me just looking at that stuff.
WBraun

climber
  May 11, 2012 - 08:26pm PT
What's so hard core about it?

Most all fixed anchors back in the early years looked like that.

Totally normal looking.
Jingy

climber
Random Nobody
  May 11, 2012 - 08:38pm PT
That is a totally awesome TR.....

Not sure I can see a god anywhere in there....

Thanks for all the photos, it helps me be there in my mind's eye
crunch

Social climber
CO
Author's Reply  May 12, 2012 - 11:02am PT
What's so hard core about it?

Most all fixed anchors back in the early years looked like that.

Totally normal looking.

Werner, as usual, is right. Nothing in this thread is really hardcore. It's all normal climbing. it's climbing itself that has changed over the years. Back in the day, Piton Ron, Werner, many other posters here, would go do stuff like this before breakfast.

Rick A

climber
Boulder, Colorado
  May 12, 2012 - 11:10am PT
Thanks for taking us along, Steve.

First ascent to a tower summit: even better than a pretty attendant in the nursing home! Like my dad used to say, "Even an old bird dog quivers at the sight of a quail."


Rick
Dirka

Trad climber
Hustle City
  May 12, 2012 - 12:15pm PT
BZZZNUMP!
Steve Grossman

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
  May 13, 2012 - 12:16am PT
Looks like some gritty good fun to me!

Thanks for the TR Crusher!
phylp

Trad climber
Upland, CA
  May 13, 2012 - 12:21pm PT
What's so hard core about it?

LOL! OK, guys - it's hardcore to ME! When you are coming from the place of marshmallow softness that is me, it looks hardcore.

It looks to be a beautiful day here, hope you have the same, wherever you are.
Phyl

JayVo

Trad climber
South Platte, CO
  May 16, 2012 - 09:48am PT
Ha ha, great trip report & pics. My buddy B2 and I have a long history of desert tower climbing too, nearly 20 years. We're not as hardman as we used to be. Our stories & pics are very similar to this. Definitely love the Valley of Gods area, done Eagle Plume couple times & Arrowhead (area trade routes?). Got the bug to get back there again, thanks!
Loose Rocks

Trad climber
Santa Rosa, CA
  May 16, 2012 - 10:33am PT
Nice TR. I love the pictures.
Russ Walling

Social climber
from Poofters Froth, Wyoming
  May 16, 2012 - 11:19am PT
Crusher delivers!
crunch

Social climber
CO
Author's Reply  May 16, 2012 - 11:51am PT
Thanks for all the kind comments. A couple more pics.

Th Bathtub formation more like a person in a (small, probably galvanized steel) bathtub from this angle, seen from atop the Moki Dugway:


The other direction gives a view straight across the San Juan River into the Rez. Middendorf's Rooster (or Sitting Hen, or whatever it's called), on the far left:

Chinchen

climber
Way out there....
  May 16, 2012 - 11:57am PT
Sweet!

Larry Nelson

Social climber
  Nov 29, 2016 - 09:31am PT
Bump for climbing content ;-)
thebravecowboy

climber
The Good Places
  Nov 29, 2016 - 12:29pm PT
overhead home appliance removal on lead is a fine art.


partner: heads up! loose rock above!
me: how big?
partner: well, it's about the size of.........a modern DVD player. you wanna do this?


it was definitely more a clunky VCR-sized deal
donini

Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
  Nov 29, 2016 - 10:24am PT
Missed this one the first time around.....great TR! Thanks for posting. Crusher, once again, goes where few choose to tread.
Nick Danger

Ice climber
Arvada, CO
  Nov 29, 2016 - 12:53pm PT
A most wonderful trip report for a most wonderful part of the world Mr. Crunch. Climbing, or doing just about anything, in the desert is just the best amount of fun. A tip o' the hat to ye, lads.
i-b-goB

Big Wall climber
Nutty
  Nov 29, 2016 - 02:44pm PT

Looks more like purgatory!

adjective
archaic
1.
having the quality of cleansing or purifying.

Yeah Crusher!
StahlBro

Trad climber
San Diego, CA
  Nov 29, 2016 - 02:56pm PT
I missed this one the first time too. Great work Crunch.

I love that place. We planned to stay there for a night an couldn't leave.


Jaybro

Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
  Nov 29, 2016 - 05:48pm PT
True adventure!
Nice rack, btw......
Steve Grossman

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
  Nov 29, 2016 - 08:10pm PT
Nice bump Larry!
Reeotch

climber
4 Corners Area
  Dec 14, 2016 - 06:09pm PT
Excellent!
BASE104

Social climber
An Oil Field
  Dec 16, 2016 - 12:39pm PT
I've driven through there many times.

Super cool. That rock always looked like total kitty litter from a distance. I'm not sure that those pics changed my mind.

I have friends who have been seduced by the Fisher's and things like Standing Rock. They all rave at how fun it is.

Have you ever had to explain it to a bolt clipping power master? There is still a lot of adventure climbing going on. It is fun to read about it, but most of the young guys want nothing to do with those kinds of routes, where even the bolts are sketchy.
Steve Grossman

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
  Dec 17, 2016 - 11:06am PT
Location, location and more location!
Go