Trip Report
TR: Everything old is new again, Yosemite Valley, Ca.
Monday October 5, 2009 1:58am
 
Flipping out at Steamboat
Flipping out at Steamboat
Credit: Russ Walling


mini TR: Note to Self: it's too hot to climb

From: Russ Walling 
Date: Wed, Jul 11 2001 11:59 pm
Groups: rec.climbing
Journal entry for the week of July 4th, 2001
Condensed time frame ahead:  beware:

I haven't been on a rope in a while... maybe it was years?  Went to the Valley, first time in years.  Woke up, got javanated, went to Goldrush, strung a TR, in full sun.  I was to go first, and after I remembered how to tie the knot shimmied under the initial roof..... sunk a deep fist jam and then cast off over the roof on w i d e fists.... so far so good.  The top out was less than graceful, but effective enough to get me on the summit.   Half a pitch and full block of chalk. With such a sofa success, the Deli was mandatory.  Way too many Olde E's later, went to El Cap meadow to freshen up.  Found some old friends, and got rehydrated on some Bigfoot Ale.... then some more Olde E to bring reality back.

Went to Lovers Leap: Got the early start at about noon so I arrived at the base in full sun.... Temps in the 80's  Felt like mid-100's.  Cursed the guidebook trying to find the Psychodelic Tree or some such named route.  Finally figured it out and started up.... routefinding was a bit of a problem and quasi giant runouts were probably my fault.  The sweat and chalk mix made mayo on the critical jamming surfaces of my hands and arms.  Yuk! Seemed like most of the pro was suspect and there was plenty of loose rocks wedged in the cracks.  The top-out was spectacular for the grade. Walked down in bare feet because my climbing shoes were killing me.  The hot rocks getting back to the base tried to do a number on my delicate arches.  Two pitches, one block of chalk, but needed more.  No water. Thirst was a problem.  Moved over to the Line.... some sort of classic for the grade.  A very hot and greasy start led to some quasi giant runouts, probably my fault.  Pretty nice climbing on some good rock. Used a lot of heels in the crack because my feet are really killing me now.  Was very lucky to actually have some large cams left for the belay under the roof at the top.  Not sure why I had them, but they sure came in handy right there.  Nice top-out over the roof.  Two pitches plus a few feet, and ran out of chalk again, but had plenty of mayo.  Once again walked down in bare feet.  Yep, now they are tender.  Left the area to find a bar and some adult water substitute.

Days later:  Back to the Valley: Went to Reeds to do the Direct.  Had a nice late start and high humidity.  Perhaps some rain.  The first pitch was uneventful, but was a fine indicator of just how warm it was going to be on the next pitch. Found out that cams really don't fit in Reeds, and managed to move past some sketch cams over the next 120ft or so.... the combo of chalk and sweat and humidity made a really cool mayo like substance all over my hands and forearms.  It was decided later that to call the vile substance mayo was to do it an injustice.  From now on it will be known as Miracle Whip, as in it is a miracle if you don't whip with this stuff on your hands.  Never seen anything slicker save for Astroglide..... tends to make overjamming mandatory.  One pitch plus, one block of chalk, ran out.  Back to El Cap meadow for copius amounts of booze and tater chips.  BTW, there is only one party on El Cap.... hard to believe for a holiday week. (July 4th)
Next day:  Wanted to do Central Pillar of Frenzy.... the only frenzy was two parties on the route.  I had my usual late start going (4pm) and figured I would get flamed on rec.climbing if I butted into the lineup. Moved down to the Cookie and went up to Outer Limits.  Nice and warm here with a small drizzle coming down.  Launched up the thing at speed, trying to beat the Miracle Whip to the top.... no dice.  I was completely covered in sweat and gagging heavy within 20 feet.  The MW had a firm grip on me and the going was tough.... every jam was spooge-ing and sweat made vision a problem.  Topped out with one eye. Nice courtesy clips at the top of the first pitch made for an easy rap and TR later, just to get in some mileage.  One pitch.... one block of chalk, lost 30lbs in water weight.  Went directly to the Steamboat swimming area and launced off the big boulder into the river... once feet first to see if my heart could take the shock, and then added full front flip to see if I still had "it"....  I didn't, and landed out of my tuck and disoriented.  I should work on that.....  Back to El Cap ?meadow for a replay of the previous night.  Looks like the guys up there are on Wino Tower now... standard progress.  Fully hydrated, off to the Lodge to see the "stars"...... ran into Chongo and talked physics while checking out his new book on "Quantum Mechanics and the Peasant Mindset" or something.  Not sure if it was him or the Olde E, but I had to go...... back to Bishop.
adios,
Russ

  Trip Report Views: 1,243
Russ Walling
About the Author
Russ Walling is a gym climber from Poofter's Froth, Wyoming.

Comments
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Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
  Jul 26, 2006 - 04:18pm PT
Photos! Photos! Photos!
Shack

Big Wall climber
Reno NV
  Jul 26, 2006 - 06:18pm PT
My favorite part:

"the combo of chalk and sweat and humidity made a really cool mayo like substance all over my hands and forearms. It was decided later that to call the vile substance mayo was to do it an injustice. From now on it will be known as Miracle Whip, as in it is a miracle if you don't whip with this stuff on your hands. Never seen anything slicker save for Astroglide....."


PS. Crimptress...note the date on the TR...

Journal entry for the week of July 4th, 2001

Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
  Jul 26, 2006 - 06:28pm PT
Oh yeah, I saw the date. Thought maybe he had some old photos too...

Phew! I was getting scared where the miracle 'whip' train of thought was going!
Apocalypsenow

Trad climber
Cali
  Jul 26, 2006 - 06:30pm PT
What's in miracle 'whip' and velveeta cheeze?
Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
  Jul 26, 2006 - 06:46pm PT
Now I'm really scared.
Russ Walling

Social climber
from Poofters Froth, Wyoming
Author's Reply  Jul 26, 2006 - 06:48pm PT
Pic from an earlier era, but same results.... squint a bit and it is from this TR: Flip at Steamboat....

Clarke Brogger

Mountain climber
Laguna Beach, Ca
  Jul 26, 2006 - 08:33pm PT
i love russ, he makes me laugh.
Mungeclimber

Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
  Jul 26, 2006 - 08:45pm PT
WHere is steamboat?
Looks like a good swim hole.

nice TR, thx for the resurrect.
WBraun

climber
  Jul 26, 2006 - 10:10pm PT
Munge

Steamboat is 300 yards further down from the lower parking turnout at the cookie.

You will see another turnout there.

And Russ;

Missed ya when you were here, are you sure about all of the above, LOL.
Zander

climber
  Jul 26, 2006 - 11:07pm PT
Thanks for the TR Russ,
My old green Altias were getting worn out so after seeing your other thread I ordered the new ones. Soo comfy. See ya,
Zander
Shack

Big Wall climber
Reno NV
  Jul 27, 2006 - 12:03am PT
Clarke, et al,
If Russ doesn't make you laugh...
your probably dead.
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
  Jul 27, 2006 - 12:55am PT
It's a catch 22 Shack:
When under the gravitational draw of the Mussy Nebula,
Yer likely teh Die Laffin' !





Ouch!

climber
  Jul 27, 2006 - 02:04am PT
Refreshing splash at Steamboat.

Shack

Big Wall climber
Reno NV
  Jul 27, 2006 - 02:47am PT
Amen to that, brother Tar...
But the beauty is in the delivery.
I usually start laughing before he even says anything.

Thats why there needs to be an iPod FISHcast®©™™™ or something...
Doug Robinson

Trad climber
Santa Cruz
  Oct 5, 2009 - 09:20am PT
This kinda says it all:

I usually start laughing before he even says anything.

Maybe it's a good thing there aren't photos. I mean, the angle on that flip into Steamboat makes it look like a dive into the mosh pit would be lightweight by comparison.
survival

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
  Oct 17, 2013 - 11:30am PT
Russ Bump for fun writing!

BBST!
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
  Oct 17, 2013 - 11:54am PT
Please hold the mayo.

Barefootin' descents = indecent exposure.

I've done them there, too.

They suck big toes.
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