Trip Report
South Pillar By Moonlight (A Bedtime Story)
Wednesday September 25, 2013 6:47pm
Twas the night before a workday and up to my house,
Pulls Macronut's truck with a hallpass from spouse.
Credit: micronut

A full moon is brewing, we've plenty of time
South Pillar of Wamello, a perfect night climb.

So he in his R1, me in my fleece
Hike into the forest, quiet as meece.
Credit: micronut
Credit: micronut

We pause for a breather on top of a rise,
the dome lay before us under brilliant dark skies.
Credit: micronut

Down to the base we scamper and skeet,
in a heartbeat the route sits proud at our feet.
Credit: micronut

No topo no nothin, just follow the Pillar,
I've never been on it but man it looks killer!

Credit: micronut
Adam's up on the thing before I count three,
he's clipped the first bolt....dude wait up for me!
Credit: micronut
Credit: micronut
Its chickenhead city and maybe 5.9, some claim .10a, but either is fine.
Credit: micronut

We climb through the moonlight to a ropestretcher stance.
The stoke remains high as upward we dance.
Credit: micronut

The mental crux looms, a sketchy move down a notch
That gives me a tingling vibe down deep in my crotch.
Credit: micronut

This downchimney grunt across a gaping black chasm
would give anyones nards a "don't fall now" spasm.
Adam crosses the notch and is on the wall proper
across me he finally slots in a stopper.
Credit: micronut

Its 2am now and to keep me from dozing
I play with the shutter, creative exposing.
Credit: micronut

Adam's a champ, up he charges like bull,
this pitch is the money, our pockets are full.
Credit: micronut

Wait! Whats that? There's headlamps above!
Credit: micronut

Its some friends from the climbing gym getting some South Pillar love!
Davey Tree and team high on the route.
Davey Tree and team high on the route.
Credit: micronut
They're way up in the business. We exchange hoots and hollers,
If this Pillar is MONEY...they've got fistfuls of dollars!

Macronut, hurry, give me the gear.
I can smell it like breakfast, the summit is near.
Credit: micronut

Pitch four flys by as if in a trance.
And before we know it we're doin the final ridge dance.
Credit: micronut

Its black on the summit, but spread out before us,
Are Fresno and Oakhurst with their power grid forests.
Credit: micronut

Its just after three when I take off my five tennis,
we crank the ignition and head down to Denny's.
Credit: micronut
Credit: micronut

There's just nothing better than a post mission French Toast.
And remember.....
The climber who wins is the one who has fun the most.

Wamello Dome
South Pillar
five pitches of radness
Midnight, September 22, 2013
Macronut and Micronut

Postscript: We made it home by 5:15. Adam bathed in my swimming pool like a redneck, got dressed and was at the hospital by breakfast time for a full day of work. Burly.

  Trip Report Views: 2,661
About the Author
micronut is a trad climber from fresno, ca.

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Trad climber
Hustle City
  Sep 25, 2013 - 06:56pm PT

Trad climber
Ottawa, Ontario
  Sep 25, 2013 - 07:03pm PT

Sunnyvale, CA
  Sep 25, 2013 - 08:10pm PT
another classic, thanks!

Trad climber
  Sep 25, 2013 - 08:24pm PT
Nice Scott. I never got any pics if you emailed them to me.

Next time we should head up as a group and simul.

210' / 6 = 35' of rope between each of us. That will work.

Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
Author's Reply  Sep 25, 2013 - 08:27pm PT
Dave I'll send you those pics soon. They're between two computers but I have your e- address. Nice work up there....I heard yall were running ghetto style...two teams clipping the same pro? What's up with that? Do tell.

  Sep 25, 2013 - 08:32pm PT
And after Denny's you went to work?
That would be insane.

from out where the anecdotes roam
  Sep 25, 2013 - 08:32pm PT
blow off the day job, your a night bloomin' bard!

  Sep 25, 2013 - 08:33pm PT
SO, SO good!

So good, in fact, I tried signing in with the words "SO, SO good" instead of my E addy!




East Bay, CA
  Sep 25, 2013 - 08:40pm PT
Oh yeah. High quality.
Love that summit shot.

Trad climber
Melbourne, Victoria
  Sep 25, 2013 - 09:40pm PT
It's been too long between TR's, Scott - great work! Very much looking forward to the El Cap one, don't keep us all hanging so long.

Trad climber
  Sep 25, 2013 - 10:18pm PT
Scott, Chris hadn't been up it long time ago and Danny and Kalem hadn't. Since it was dark I didn't want them getting off route. I lead and Chris went up right after and just used my sling jobs to clip in. Then Danny and Kalem followed at same time. Worked out well and was faster than one group at a time.

Fun times.......

Nate D

San Francisco
  Sep 25, 2013 - 10:40pm PT
Thoroughly enjoyed that!

Trad climber
the middle of CA
  Sep 25, 2013 - 10:59pm PT
Roses are red, violet are blue, I liked your TR a lot.

Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
Author's Reply  Sep 25, 2013 - 11:28pm PT
Postscript: We made it home by 5:15. Adam bathed in my swimming pool like a redneck, got dressed and was at the hospital by breakfast time for a full day of work. Burly.

Trad climber
  Sep 26, 2013 - 12:06am PT
I got home around 4:45, went to gym to shower so not to wake anyone and back to work. Slept well after 38 up.

Trad climber
Sierra Vista
  Sep 26, 2013 - 10:19am PT
The climbers they slithered all over the rock,
Gazed at the moon and the route on the rock

And as they gazed they sniffed and sighed 'This route is long
and the cracks are wide'

But they squeezed and they crimped, and grunted and groaned, and were pleased of the gym and that they were honed.

Then, at the top when all was done, they sat and devoured a large jammy bun! For climbing is fun if you're fit and you're brave, but not, if you cry like a punter or knave.

So look well to the route, your partner and kit, make sure you are ready able and fit.

For if not there'll be trouble, regrets and you'll cry, 'aaaw sh#t it's a c*#k up, we're all gonna die!'


T Hocking

Trad climber
Redding, Ca
  Sep 26, 2013 - 10:04am PT

Social climber
Moorpark, CA.
  Sep 26, 2013 - 10:16am PT


Trad climber
San Luis Obispo, CA
  Sep 26, 2013 - 10:24am PT
awsome report!

Trad climber
Fresno CA
  Sep 26, 2013 - 02:31pm PT
I love it! No wonder Kalem still looked tired Monday morning.


Trad climber
CA Central Coast
  Sep 26, 2013 - 02:39pm PT

I love reading adventures that use whimsical verse,
and this time you two 'nuts clearly take the purse.


Sport climber
  Sep 26, 2013 - 02:44pm PT
A great bolted adventure... ;o)

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
  Sep 26, 2013 - 02:51pm PT
'most as good as an orgasm

Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
  Sep 26, 2013 - 03:02pm PT
Best climbing stoke I've absorbed in a long time, and you are flying high at the peak of creativity! Absolutely loved it!

Big Wall climber
The Sierra
  Sep 26, 2013 - 10:44pm PT
BUMP!!!! Dude, great story. And you guys ROCK! Super hero Dads. Very inspiring.

~ alix

Oakland, CA
  Sep 27, 2013 - 12:26am PT
"meece" is a rhyme dab, dude!

The stoke remains high as upward we dance.

Bet you had to mull it over: "Prance, dance, prance, dance..."

All in jest. Micro, that was a HoF-level TR. Equal parts Margaret Wise Brown and Q-Tip.

Sport climber
Made in California, living in The Old Pueblo
  Sep 27, 2013 - 09:50am PT
THIS is SOOOOOOOO good!!! Fantastic photos and rhyme.
What an awesome TR!!

Smiles all around!

Trad climber
Oaksterdam, CA
  Sep 27, 2013 - 02:28pm PT
great tr

thanks for telling us about your crotch tinglings!
Ezra Ellis

Trad climber
North wet, and Da souf
  Sep 27, 2013 - 02:39pm PT
Good lot,
great Scott!!!!
Vitaliy M.

Mountain climber
San Francisco
  Sep 27, 2013 - 05:05pm PT
The stoke remains high as upward we dance.

I am sure stoke was not that high when your friend went to work in a hospital the next morning! Nice report!


Trad climber
  Sep 29, 2013 - 06:34pm PT
Fantastic! You had me smiling the whole time.

Trad climber
  Sep 29, 2013 - 08:54pm PT
Fun route No Doubt!
Great views in the right light;)

Just livin' the dream
  Mar 22, 2015 - 06:52pm PT
This one cracked me up!

A most excellent moonlight adventure.

The Hot Kiss On the End of a Wet Fist
  Mar 22, 2015 - 08:19pm PT
Thank You! I missed this on the first go-round. It really is what this forum is about. Bravissimo!

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
  Mar 22, 2015 - 08:55pm PT
I read it the first time and loved it, but I failed to comment. Thanks for the cool story and a couple really nice photos. I liked the first of the climbers up above you and the power of the grid photos.

Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
Author's Reply  Jul 21, 2016 - 06:28pm PT
Bump for the upcoming Luna Fiesta September 16th.
Gnome Ofthe Diabase

Out Of Bed
  Jul 21, 2016 - 06:35pm PT
you ! yup Yupper this was Super fun times right here!
Thanks for the fun treatment. It looked like you had the dope on this climb; sussed it out ahead of time? either way great and great TR.

Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
  Jul 21, 2016 - 06:38pm PT
Who'a...missed this the first time around. Looks like super fun and a bard to chronicle it!
Captain...or Skully

Boise, ID
  Jul 22, 2016 - 03:30pm PT
Indeed. TPFU!
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