Trip Report
SKI WAX!!!
Thursday December 17, 2015 3:09pm
Ok ok, there has been a lot of back and forth and forth and back and hearsay and anecdotal evidence on here recently:

http://www.supertopo.com/climbers-forum/2734166/Ski-wax

Being the selfless community minded person that I am I set out to put everyone's minds at ease. There was only one way to solve this once and for all.
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With SCIENCE!

Not qualified to use science, you say?

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BAM!

Never heard of Fresno State, you say? That's probably because it's so prestigious that it's only whispered about by the most prestigious people, and you must not be one of them.

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Check out the official university rankings from the internet.

You might also think I may be a genius scientist but am in no way an accurate judge of wax.

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DOUBLE BAM!!!
21 years of shredding gnar in all conditions, paid my way through half of college with it, and worked as a tuning tech for everyone from groms all the way to olympic athletes!



Now that that's established and you're really impressed, let us get back to the scientific method.

1. Ask A Question
Is wax super awesome and super necessary?

2. Do Background Research
I read the "Ski Wax" thread, obviously skipping the comments I did not agree with.
http://www.supertopo.com/climbers-forum/2734166/Ski-wax

3. Hypothesis
Dry bases are for chumps.

4. Experiment
Time to get down to the nitty gritty. (knitty gritty?)
First I applied the wax before heading out, per the usual.
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Mixing a little warm with a little cold weather formula.

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Not done yet.

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You can never have too much wax.

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More wax, more speed!

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MORE WAX!!!


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Yesterday morning started out a little chilly by California standards, but nothing that wax couldn't handle.


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Made good time up the Hump Trail (not as fun as it sounds) towards Pear Lake in Sequoia, thanks to the wax, despite having to break trail for the second half.

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I took a break, noticed the Tablelands looked a little bony, and decided to do a few stability tests.

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Hmmmm, three out of three times the top part of the snow slid off nice and clean while I was cutting the back of the block, without even getting to tap it. The bottom of that layer must have been waxed.

I was feeling lazy and a bit apprehensive about the snow, even if the weak layer was under a really strong ice sheet, so I decided to look for a run that was a little lower angle and a little closer. Thanks to this phone that my buddy Steve J. invented for me it was an easy search
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10 degrees up and about 15 to the side, so the ridge was probably 15 to 20 degrees with some trees. Looked good to me.

But wait! 15 degrees and by the time you get there it'll be in the sun, you won't be able to pick up speed or initiate turns or have any fun! Au contraire, I have wax, remember?!?!

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Past Heather Lake,

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A look back at Tokopah Domes,

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And onto the side of a more representative slope for a real test.

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Jumping as hard as I could and the ice layer a foot down was holding strong, time to shred!

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Now we're talkin!

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28 degrees at the steepest and then leveled out onto fresh powder.
Good thing I was all waxed up and ready to test my hypothesis.

But first,
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#lemmetakeaselfie. I'll never understand why people bothered to go outside before instagram and trip reports. Maybe for science?

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Open bowl test: passed

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Pillows and trees test: passed

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Hit some rocks and logs but don't get board damage thanks to protective wax test: passed.
Super fun to have wax test: PASSED!

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The worst part was that I had to drag a bunch of heavy snow back over the hump.
Next time I'll wax the top, I can't believe I didn't think of that before.

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I mistakenly thought that I could tele (which I've never done) my splitboard down the tight trees on the hump. After that disaster I switched back to snowboard mode and headed down the west facing, warm, low angle hump but had a blast and flew thanks to wax!

5. Analyze Data and Draw a Conclusion
That was really fun. I am sore. Wax is so much better than old fuzzy, dry bases.

6. Results and Accept/Reject Hypothesis
Dry bases are for chumps, hypothesis hella accepted braj! (that's how snowboarders talk)



Well there you have it, irrefutable scientific evidence that you should wax your skis, boards, and babies. Sorry, "F" and "raymond phule."

You're welcome, posterity.






  Trip Report Views: 4,159
limpingcrab
About the Author
limpingcrab is Daniel Jeffcoach, nice to meet you.

Comments
Nanobody

Trad climber
Fresno, CA
  Dec 17, 2015 - 03:19pm PT
As a professor in the College of Science at Fresno State, I can say that I am very pleased with the quality education you must have received to have constructed, and carried out such a thoughtful experiment
the Fet

climber
Tu-Tok-A-Nu-La
  Dec 17, 2015 - 03:57pm PT
Love it!!!

P.S. it was awesome that you got to ride with the Terminator!
NutAgain!

Trad climber
https://nutagain.org
  Dec 17, 2015 - 04:10pm PT
Muy exelente!

I was wondering about the order of colors on the scientific process flowchart. Because in rainbows, the red is on top. But then I realized, we read top down and you have to stop when you reach the red octagon.
hobo_dan

Social climber
Minnesota
  Dec 17, 2015 - 04:19pm PT
Now I know where I'm going to go to school if I ever grow up.
Well done, and the waxed baby will no doubt be a proud alumni some day in the not too distant future.
Mungeclimber

Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
  Dec 17, 2015 - 05:03pm PT
FACT
F

climber
away from the ground
  Dec 17, 2015 - 05:31pm PT
Nice. Thanks for getting out of the armchair and doing the research. As the saying goes... 99 problems, and wax ain't one. I broke a binding this afternoon, shet. What is the best color ice axe for self arresting in pow?

Way to be responsible and pit it out before the shred.
Ed H

Trad climber
Santa Rosa, CA
  Dec 17, 2015 - 09:38pm PT
Great pics and story. TFPU

irrefutable scientific evidence that you should wax your skis, boards, and babies.






climbski2

Mountain climber
The Ocean
  Dec 17, 2015 - 08:33pm PT
Your foot looks weird.
couchmaster

climber
  Dec 17, 2015 - 08:32pm PT



Scientific method ya say? I'm stuck at #2. Didn't read anything else. Now is the time that the typical ST user, say dudes like Crankster, will comment with their (totally uninformed and ignorant) opinion. That is, if #1 was someone else's statement. I, however, will take the high road and resist that tractor pull.

..?


..?


..?

I got nothing. Which of interest is still more than poster Crankster ever has LOL
limpingcrab

Gym climber
Minkler, CA
Author's Reply  Dec 17, 2015 - 08:43pm PT
What is the best color ice axe for self arresting in pow?

Ha! Touche.

When I came up along the east side of those trees it was at the edge of the ridge and there was weird windswept ice that kinda freaked me out (since I'm a wuss).


So I carried the ice axe and put on the mini crampons. I just kept it out for the last bit so I would look hardcore in the picture.

Bummer to hear about the bindings, I hope you weren't far out or had the tools to repair it!

Daphne

Trad climber
Northern California
  Dec 17, 2015 - 09:50pm PT
Thanks for a funny, scientific ride. This TR is what keeps me coming back to the taco.


Your baby is beautiful and has a great dad.
Vitaliy M.

Mountain climber
San Francisco
  Dec 17, 2015 - 10:12pm PT
Stupid shredding, no updates on ice. I protest against this trip report! :)
Ken M

Mountain climber
Los Angeles, Ca
  Dec 17, 2015 - 10:35pm PT
That was fun!

1-very cool that you did those snow tests. Gotta get home to the baby!

2.I found that Pledge, or another spray furniture wax did a great job for the tops!
SC seagoat

Trad climber
Santa Cruz, Moab, Bozeman, the ocean, or ?
  Dec 17, 2015 - 10:36pm PT
Wax the tops. I knew that. I just knew that!

Beautiful baby!

Susan
Ezra Ellis

Trad climber
North wet, and Da souf
  Dec 17, 2015 - 10:58pm PT
GNAR!,
limpingcrab

Gym climber
Minkler, CA
Author's Reply  Dec 18, 2015 - 07:12am PT
never had to use ski crampons (cow bells) before. must be new to skinning

Well, I suck at skinning. But you should see me on the chair lift, I can get off without falling almost every time!

What's standard operating procedure for skinning up ice without crampons? Skiing back down in reverse while cursing is my other strategy but it doesn't usually end well.
Big Mike

Trad climber
BC
  Dec 18, 2015 - 07:30am PT
Super funny bud!! Thanks!
this just in

climber
Justin Ross from North Fork
  Dec 18, 2015 - 07:33am PT
Bulldogs!
Almost as cool sounding as Wolverines!
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
  Dec 18, 2015 - 07:39am PT
Two comments, aside from a nod to the consensus of general hilarity:
1. Yer wax set-up is cave! OMG! I saw no bending of zee knees, just a back bent right over!
2. You had yer skis on the wrong feet.
Brian in SLC

Social climber
Salt Lake City, UT
  Dec 18, 2015 - 07:40am PT
Schred alert!

Great...must do some research m'self...
limpingcrab

Gym climber
Minkler, CA
Author's Reply  Dec 18, 2015 - 08:18am PT
SOP is practice. the more you skin you realize the ski crampons can be left behind. Never had a problem skinning up bullet proof ice w mohair skins. Nylon gives more grip though. looks like brand new split board cow bells. first time using them?

Yup, got them after a long day last season on hard crust with high headwinds, but I haven't actually used them until this trip.

I can't understand how practice will help me make it up an ice rink that my edges can't even hold on, but I can't understand a lot of things so maybe it'll make sense after some more practice. I still learn something new every time I go out.
kunlun_shan

Mountain climber
SF, CA
  Dec 18, 2015 - 08:34am PT
I can't understand how practice will help me make it up an ice rink that my edges can't even hold on...

I agree with sea2summit. Forget about edging. Its all about maximum friction and skins FLAT on the snow, like slab climbing. If you get nervous and try to use your edges, you'll slip.

Very funny TR. TFPU!
limpingcrab

Gym climber
Minkler, CA
Author's Reply  Dec 18, 2015 - 08:51am PT
Its all about maximum friction and skins FLAT on the snow, like slab climbing. If you get nervous and try to use your edges, you'll slip.

Hmmm... I tried that but could never get much surface area to make contact on bumpy ice. Maybe I didn't really commit or give it enough of a chance. Next time! (actually, hopefully there won't be any ice next time)
F

climber
away from the ground
  Dec 18, 2015 - 09:19am PT
Try some Verts. Basically hard plastic small snowshoes with pointy things on them. They are a pretty sweet approach tool for folks that choose to handicap themselves with snowboards. Binding wasn't a big deal. Tele bindings are already broken anyway, right? I'm just gonna lash it back together with some seal gut and keep schussing. What's with the robocop snow vision thing?
limpingcrab

Gym climber
Minkler, CA
Author's Reply  Dec 18, 2015 - 10:07am PT
Handicap themselves with a snowboard!?!?!?! Let's not even start on the difference between floating around on top of powder vs. jumping around in it and working hard on two planks.

Just wax the bindings, they'll hold up better next time :)

The robocop vision is a free iPhone app called Theodolite. I guess the angle of slopes and then check it to see how close I was to entertain myself.
Nkane

Trad climber
San Francisco, USA
  Dec 18, 2015 - 10:06am PT
What app is that? Is there an android version?
limpingcrab

Gym climber
Minkler, CA
Author's Reply  Dec 18, 2015 - 10:09am PT
Theodolite, it's the free version and I'm not sure if there's an android version.

The compass is way off but I never calibrated any of that stuff and just use it for the slope angles.
christoph benells

Trad climber
Tahoma, Ca
  Dec 18, 2015 - 10:30am PT
http://www.supertopo.com/inc/photo_zoom.php?dpid=Ojo4OjknKSMhLQ,,

OR you could just ask the dickbags over on TGR

they obviously know EVERYTHING
splitclimber

climber
Sonoma County
  Dec 18, 2015 - 10:49am PT
that's the kind of TR we need around here :)

snow has been great lately
let's tour sometime Limp - have never made turns down on west slope of SEKI.

limpingcrab

Gym climber
Minkler, CA
Author's Reply  Dec 18, 2015 - 11:02am PT
Sounds good Split, I'm hoping to take my snowmobile up the Mineral King Road and then tour around sometime this winter and haven't found any takers for a partner. It would be nice to get out with someone with experience instead of my usual solo trips.

Thanks for the tip sea2summit! I don't carry a beacon when I'm alone but I didn't know about the possible interference so that will be good to keep in mind. Still learning to tour and soaking up all the info I can.




Brian in SLC

Social climber
Salt Lake City, UT
  Dec 18, 2015 - 11:55am PT
Try some Verts.

I have a first gen pair of those..."the climbing snowshoe". Pete's an old climbing and skiing friend from way back...

Break them out occasionally for the straight up boot to an ice climb...

Not as popular as split boards 'round here...still around I see...fun.
Ken M

Mountain climber
Los Angeles, Ca
  Dec 18, 2015 - 12:04pm PT
Do NOT agree with carrying a beacon when alone.

There is a lot of literature that shows that people who do seem to take more chances when they should not, and a higher death rate, compared with those who do not carry them.
F

climber
away from the ground
  Dec 18, 2015 - 12:15pm PT
Ken has a point... Kind of. Carrying a beacon solo helps with body recovery. There is a guy buried under 20 feet of snow in Hatcher Pass, ( in the real AK, not Chuffles imaginary one), he went out solo with a beacon on a bad day in a bad place. They know the spot he's in, but he's buried so deep they haven't been able to probe him to even try to dig. I'm guessing they will find him around June 10th. Best tool is knowledge.
JEleazarian

Trad climber
Fresno CA
  Dec 18, 2015 - 12:39pm PT
This engendered a great amount of envy, combined with great delight in your humor, which form my primary criteria for a great trip report. Thanks much.

There is a lot of literature that shows that people who do seem to take more chances when they should not, and a higher death rate, compared with those who do not carry them.

Ken, this represents a classic example of the difficulty in trying to differentiate between causation and correlation. Do skiers take beacons along because they're contemplating riskier conduct, or does the presence of a beacon encourage riskier conduct? Mere correlation doesn't answer that question.

John
F

climber
away from the ground
  Dec 18, 2015 - 12:50pm PT
Man, should I get some popcorn ready?
I remember hearing a skier say something to the effect of "I should get an airbag so I can ski stuff like that."
Just weird. People are stupid. Air bags, beacons, avalungs, phone apps don't replace knowledge and avoidance.
And wax doesn't make you a better skier. It just lubes your bases temporarily. Haha!
guyman

Social climber
Moorpark, CA.
  Dec 18, 2015 - 01:57pm PT
Really good TR....

Made my day.

Larry Nelson

Social climber
  Dec 18, 2015 - 02:41pm PT
Good stuff
And I agree with those that say take bacon. It is gluten free.
Fritz

Social climber
Choss Creek, ID
  Dec 18, 2015 - 03:16pm PT
Great trip report, but I believe for more safety on solo-trips,you really need to add an Avalanche Poodle to your quiver of high-tech gear.

limpingcrab

Gym climber
Minkler, CA
Author's Reply  Dec 18, 2015 - 09:02pm PT
Wait, what's the purpose of a beacon if you're by yourself?

Body recovery? I'm sure it will be pretty well preserved come springtime.
climbski2

Mountain climber
The Ocean
  Dec 18, 2015 - 09:11pm PT
Let's not even start on the difference between floating around on top of powder vs. jumping around in it and working hard on two planks.

Oh..you mean the difference between 3 dimensional flying in a medium vs turning something exquisite into merely a groomed experience.

Yeah I'm talking to you super fat skis and snowboards.
Chewybacca

Trad climber
Kelly Morgan, Whitefish MT
  Dec 18, 2015 - 09:10pm PT
Batteries might drain by spring......unless you use the right wax.




Fine trip report. A little too scienceee, but still good reading.
micronut

Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
  Dec 18, 2015 - 10:38pm PT
Great report Crabman. I always save a little wax after my edges are sharp to clean up my back and get ready for the après ski party back in town.
limpingcrab

Gym climber
Minkler, CA
Author's Reply  Feb 8, 2016 - 09:58pm PT
There, took the class. They pretty much just talked about all the ways that dry bases cause avalanches. Wasted my money, I already knew that.
Sierra Ledge Rat

Mountain climber
Old and Broken Down in Appalachia
  Feb 9, 2016 - 07:51am PT
Nice report limpingcrab
But you lost all credibility when I saw the snowboard
Jaybro

Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
  Feb 9, 2016 - 08:56am PT
"Ask Dr science, he knows more than you do!
-" I have a masters degree, in, Science!"

Nice work! Though I was already pretty sure wax was gud!

What was that software with the cool visuals?
Flip Flop

climber
Earth Planet, Universe
  Feb 9, 2016 - 08:45am PT
Woot
limpingcrab

Gym climber
Minkler, CA
Author's Reply  Feb 16, 2016 - 12:08am PT
Sorry, Jaybro, missed your comment. It's an iPhone app called Theodolite. Free and good for playing the "guess the slope" game for practice.
limpingcrab

Gym climber
Minkler, CA
Author's Reply  Dec 22, 2016 - 11:46am PT
Selfless public service announcement self bump for the community. The season is here and wax is the key to success!
Jon Beck

Trad climber
Oceanside
  Dec 22, 2016 - 03:52pm PT
Good schooling for all the wax deniers. But dude, you owe me a set of skins, that tip was bogus.
perswig

climber
  Dec 22, 2016 - 04:44pm PT
Set of skins?
He owes me a new back pelt. Mine came out all heinous.

Dale
SC seagoat

Trad climber
Santa Cruz, Moab, Bozeman, the ocean, or ?
  Dec 22, 2016 - 05:28pm PT
Yes! You slid back in for the season!

Susan
Fuzzywuzzy

climber
suspendedhappynation
  Dec 22, 2016 - 06:30pm PT
Wear a beacon
east side underground

climber
paul linaweaver hilton crk ca
  Dec 22, 2016 - 09:08pm PT
nice spent quite a bit of time in that area working snow surveys for my prof at ucsb and summer research for cal air resources board what a great place thanks
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