Despite the 8 trillion boulders scattered amongst the dummy domes, the bouldering in Joshua Tree really kind of sucks. Sharp, grainy rock, a lack of steep terrrain and positive holds, and funky frictiony movement on moderates isn't exactly the makings of another Hueco Tanks.

But I love to boulder, almost as much as climbing on a rope, and way more than sport climbing. I tend to repeat some classics like Pigpen or Caveman each season, because they are the best Josh has to offer and they're mere seconds off the road. But there are still a select few dick wrenching mega classics out there that I've not gotten to yet.

So on a perfect Sunday afternoon of 55 degrees, sunny, and calm, I took a break from remodeling hell and set out to get my fix.

First stop, Barker Dam. Let's get our warm up on, where else? Gunsmoke of course. I arrived to find it strangely deserted, but snapped this pic on the way out...because it's not everyday you see a feller bouldering in a helmet!


So after warming up on this old favorite, which runs the fine line between warming up and warming out, I headed out to the main objective, Alister's Cave, for a look at two highly starred problems I'd never seen: Diary of a Dope Fiend and Sex Magician.

Lying a bit off the desert floor, is a steep and deep cave accessed by walking and eventually crawling through some narrow spots (mildly eye opening exposure!) along a ledge system. And WOW! This might be the coolest single bouldering area in the Monument. Steep, hard, gymnastic climbing with actual holds and three high quality problems plus variations. I settled on Diary of a Dope Fiend and went to work, fondling the holds from the ground, then deciphering sequences. After the 3rd go, I knew it was in the bag, and on the 4th it was. This thing is like Caveman's big brother, with similar terrain including a left-shoulder wrecking gaston move and some pump factor. Personally, I think Caveman is harder, but that might be a height issue. In my book, this is the finest problem of its rating in Joshua Tree. Yes, it's that good.

My SD card filled up on the 2nd go, and on the send I end up climbing out of the frame (they are reversed in order on the clip), but this video will give you a good idea of what's involved. What you don't see is that after the final double knee bar rest, the final sequence is a dynamic and difficult sloper sequence. It makes for an appropriate and potentially heart breaking finish. I used the left one first, then a drive-by on the right one to gain the good sloper above. Whew! Gassed.



I didn't have much in the way of plans after this one, because frankly I thought it would be a project and multi-day affair. So after sending and with plenty of pull left in me, it was off to sample some favorite classics, albeit at an easier level. On the way out of the Barker Dam area, I stopped to chuck a lap on the Chube, perhaps best know these days from Dean's fine Stone Nudes shot on this stellar line. Some juggy liebacks lead to a huck for the sloping top and a heel hook mantle out. It's about 50' from the Gunsmoke and by now there were about a dozen folks hanging around which meant it was time to seek a quieter locale.

Parking at Intersection, the lot had maybe a dozen cars...on a 60 degree sunny Sunday, mid season..WTF? I was happy to see the JBMFP and surrounds completely empty. The John Bachar Memorial Face Problem might be the best sub-vertical problem in the park, and certainly my favorite. Despite the starting holds being greasy as a Waffle House cook, the upper ones were crispy.




A lap on the False Up 20, a stellar handcrack and lieback, and then on to a sometimes frustrating one, the Orange Curtain aka Slick Willie. This is your average everyday 5.11 JT slab on texture, and took me probably 30 attempts over 3 seasons. Once I'd done it, could do it almost everytime afterwards. Still get spit off from time to time, but have gone on to do it with several sequences which goes to show...I just plain sucked before! There's no mystery or strength required here, just good body position and decent footwork, but it's a classic in my book (and being 20' from the JBMFP helps).



After that, the sun was creeping low and the tips getting a bit raw. Which is probably the biggest issue with bouldering in Josh, your skin gives out before you get really worked. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad one, but when you have a half-day and need to regain some sanity after endless home improvement projects, it's just the ticket. Go get ya some!