Trip Report
Finding Fear - Gulf Stream Solo
Monday April 3, 2017 1:06am
I hadn't climbed for months.

I worked long hours at a job I didn't like. I lived vicariously through the stories of other climbers. My life had become incredibly safe.

But it had also become exceptionally boring.

Something had to change. I wanted to live, rather than just exist. I wanted to do something exciting, something challenging, something scary.

So I chose to climb an enormous rock.

I chose an incredibly dangerous route.

And after 16 days alone on the wall, I succeeded at finding fear.

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Credit: Neil Chelton
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Soloing a big wall involves a complex use of ropes and gear, which basically means climbing everything twice.

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Credit: www.vdiffclimbing.com
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The first two pitches were characterized by a jenga-tower of ever-changing granite blocks and flakes. Sections of chopped rope and torn sling marked the path of previous epics and nightmares.

Driven by the irony of being too scared to achieve my goal of doing something scary, I decided to climb around these pitches on more solid rock.

But inevitably, the mystery features I followed soon merged into Gulf Stream, where the rock suddenly became less like granite and more like cheese.

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Credit: Tom Evans
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Some pitches had interesting free-climbing moves. But it was mostly good old-fashioned aid climbing.

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Aid climbing takes a long time, not many people like it. But I do.

I enjoy hooking loose flakes.

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Credit: Neil Chelton
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I'm totally psyched when I top-step from the hook and hammer some copperheads into a flared seam.

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Credit: Neil Chelton
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And when I stretch up from the copperhead and find a hidden rurp slot, I feel tiny orgasms in my fingertips.

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Unfortunately, the crux pitch required over 20 consecutive moves like this. I began to crave some solid gear.

But there wasn't any.

I had got myself in a rather delicate predicament: I had to commit to the next hook.

But if I committed, it would probably fail.

And if it failed, the sudden movement would certainly cause the hook I was hanging from to fail too.

Which would cause me to fall.

But it had been 4 or 5 hours since I last placed any gear that would even hold a falling loaf of bread.

I couldn't move up, I couldn't stay still and I certainly could not lower off.

I was thirsty, hungry and exhausted.

And alone.

And it was going dark.

And I desperately needed a poo.

It's true that you don't need to endanger your life to be in 'the present moment'. But it certainly enhances the experience if you do.

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Reduced to a gibbering wreck, I eventually reached the belay. Another day, another pitch up the wall. I'm not a speed climber.

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A large roof is the final hurdle of Gulf Stream. Beneath this roof, with only 5 feet separating me from the summit, I heard a noise. A voice.

A familiar voice.

Patiently waiting for me to fumble through the final moves, was my girlfriend. In the time that I'd been on the wall, she had also soloed an El Cap route. But she had reached the summit a week faster than me. It was awesome to see her.

Except we couldn't quite see each other; I still had one move left to get through the roof.

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Just one move.

I had 150 pieces of aid gear hanging from my harness but none of the bastards would fit in that final flared slot. After thousands of aid moves, why did the last one have to be the hardest?

I eventually managed to get three pitons to each hold 1/3 of my body weight. I equalized them, clipped my aiders in and surmounted El Cap with the grace of a beached whale.

After a romantic night on the summit..,

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...we hauled my gear up the final pitch...

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...and carried it down to the valley.

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I'd started the climb in pursuit of fear. And I certainly found plenty. Though the hardest and scariest part for me was right at the beginning; committing to the climb.

Climbing out of my comfort zone was harder than the climb itself. But I knew that if I made excuses and postponed the climb, my comfort zone would shrink even more and I'd probably never do it.

I highly recommend that you go out there and scare yourself.

But just remember; it's a fine line between finding fear and finding yourself in a coffin. Learn the necessary skills, practise them well and choose your routes carefully.

And most importantly, remember to have fun!

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Credit: Neil Chelton
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This trip report was originally published on VDiff. See more stuff from VDiff here.



  Trip Report Views: 5,307
Neil Chelton
About the Author
Neil Chelton is a mincer from England.

Comments
Delhi Dog

climber
Good Question...
  Apr 3, 2017 - 03:14am PT
Whoa dude!
Excellent effort and a fine contribution to the taco!
Love the goofy inserts and graphs.

Finding Fear indeed.
TFPU!!
nopantsben

climber
europe
  Apr 3, 2017 - 05:45am PT
Ha, very nice work Neil. Where are you now?
Nick Danger

Ice climber
Arvada, CO
  Apr 3, 2017 - 06:01am PT
Not exactly clear on what a mincer is, but you are a great teller of stories, and this was such a good story in need of a good tell. Much thanks for the writing, the psych, the graphs and cartoons. You have set a new standard for great story telling here at the Taco. Also, DUDE, major cred on your climbing achievement - very impressive. I am assuming you got around to taking your poo.
Cheers
drF

Trad climber
usa
  Apr 3, 2017 - 06:29am PT
That went great with my morning cup!!
NutAgain!

Trad climber
https://nutagain.org
  Apr 3, 2017 - 06:57am PT
Classic cartoons to go along with it! Great story, to the point but still colorful.

One approach to finding fear is to practice skills before trying something audacious. I found a shortcut. Don't practice the skills very much, then every once in a while try something mediocre that is nevertheless too much for me. Perfect fear recipe with much less effort.
micronut

Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
  Apr 3, 2017 - 07:19am PT
Bloody brilliant!!!


I eventually managed to get three pitons to each hold 1/3 of my body weight.

A true aid climber. Well done lad. Thanks for the entertaining story, photos and cartoons.



Scott
Jay Hack

Trad climber
Detroit, Michigan
  Apr 3, 2017 - 07:33am PT
Awesome Story, one of the most fun ones I've read on this forum!
Mungeclimber

Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
  Apr 3, 2017 - 08:00am PT
graphix! next level trip reporting! :)
survival

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
  Apr 3, 2017 - 08:15am PT
Super cool!! Love the feckin' cartoons and pie charts. Hahahahaaaa!!

Awesomeness has descended upon you.
Steve Grossman

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
  Apr 3, 2017 - 01:06pm PT
Congratulations and thanks for an entertaining study in tenuous living.

You are one crafty and determined terrorist mate!

This one should fluff the old chest until you lose the key again.

Anyone else solo this line ahead of your ascent?

What is your girlfriend's name and what did she solo? TR for two?

Cheers
i-b-goB

Big Wall climber
Nutty
  Apr 3, 2017 - 08:21am PT
Not boring!
FRUMY

Trad climber
Bishop,CA
  Apr 3, 2017 - 08:32am PT
TFPU
phylp

Trad climber
Upland, CA
  Apr 3, 2017 - 08:35am PT
I liked reading this a lot.
It had so much entertainment value that it seemed like I should be paying for it.
So I went to VDiff to see if there was a paypal button and all I found was a statement about you and Maria giving back to the climbing community.
I guess I'll just have to pay it forward somehow
Thanks for the story!
Burnin' Oil

Trad climber
CA
  Apr 3, 2017 - 08:47am PT
Awesome!
Levy

Big Wall climber
Calabasas
  Apr 3, 2017 - 01:17pm PT
Nice trip report on seldom climbed route. Cool photos too!

I remember my friend told me about that last roof, he said it had a couple of hard hook moves above the lip that were scary and hard.
Mark Force

Trad climber
Ashland, Oregon
  Apr 3, 2017 - 09:26am PT
Damn!!
Jon Beck

Trad climber
Oceanside
  Apr 3, 2017 - 09:36am PT
Raising the bar on trip reports for sure. Great read.
Gunkie

Trad climber
Valles Marineris
  Apr 3, 2017 - 09:37am PT
The pie charts added a novel flare to the awesome trip report. Well done!
Largo

Sport climber
The Big Wide Open Face
  Apr 3, 2017 - 10:02am PT
Original! Nice work up there, too.
dullcrown

Trad climber
hopetown
  Apr 3, 2017 - 10:16am PT
i adore your crooked mind.

i applaud your steel reserves.

i commend the valor that enabled your vision
to see past the shite: "no substance, all shout!" that comprises mainstream america.

congratulations on your courageous achievement.

your shadow against the sun is earned, which makes you
better than any republican that i've ever met.
phylp

Trad climber
Upland, CA
  Apr 3, 2017 - 10:27am PT
Ekat! Thanks for that link.
BrandonAdams

Big Wall climber
Yosemite, CA
  Apr 3, 2017 - 11:49am PT
so rad
PAUL SOUZA

Trad climber
Central Valley, CA
  Apr 3, 2017 - 12:11pm PT
Nice send and a fine TR!
Studly

Trad climber
WA
  Apr 3, 2017 - 01:08pm PT
Good stuff
le_bruce

climber
Oakland, CA
  Apr 3, 2017 - 03:03pm PT
That whole sequence that begins "I enjoy hooking loose flakes" scares the sh#t out of me. 20 moves of that, what kind of twisted mind enjoys that kind of thing?

Hard aid, please no.

Great TR thanks for sharing it
Nanobody

Trad climber
Fresno, CA
  Apr 5, 2017 - 09:44am PT
Great TR! I love your pie-charts!
enjoimx

Trad climber
Yosemite
  Apr 5, 2017 - 11:48am PT
Great story thanks. Sounds scary AF
Steve Grossman

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
  Apr 5, 2017 - 09:18pm PT
"Climbing is madness, but it's a fine sort of madness"-Tom Patey
'Pass the Pitons' Pete

Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
  Apr 5, 2017 - 10:25pm PT
Wanker.
mcreel

climber
Barcelona
  Apr 5, 2017 - 10:47pm PT
Nothing like having to crap to make you really live in the moment.
Ezra Ellis

Trad climber
North wet, and Da souf
  Apr 6, 2017 - 03:48am PT
Gnar!
Da-Veed

Big Wall climber
Bigfork
  Apr 6, 2017 - 10:11am PT
Awesome, love the TR.
Radish

Trad climber
SeKi, California
  Apr 6, 2017 - 11:29am PT
Haven't read the whole TR yet but.....you first paragraph hit home! I'm looking forward to reading of your experience! Thanks!
Clint Cummins

Trad climber
SF Bay area, CA
  Apr 6, 2017 - 11:38am PT
Good to see you back.
My friend Job and I were talking last weekend (while driving to The Valley) about how our favorite trip reports are your old ones from El Cap!
This one from 2011 in particular - an all time great!
http://www.supertopo.com/tr/Continental-Drifting/t11224n.html
Prod

Trad climber
  Apr 6, 2017 - 12:30pm PT
That was a fun TR!

Thanks for the motivation!

Prod.
'Pass the Pitons' Pete

Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
  Apr 7, 2017 - 04:18pm PT
Continental Drift?!

Wankers AND punters!!!111
Jane Gallwey

Big Wall climber
Waterford, Ireland
  Apr 9, 2017 - 04:02am PT
That's the best thing I've read on the internet in a long time. And congratulations too. Exceptionally epic punting?
craig morris

Trad climber
la
  Apr 9, 2017 - 11:58am PT
Well done, well told
Thanks
ec

climber
ca
  Apr 9, 2017 - 05:02pm PT
Truly, this was the Venn of Climbing...

 ec
SC seagoat

Trad climber
Santa Cruz, Moab, Bozeman, the ocean, or ?
  Apr 10, 2017 - 07:27am PT
All I can say is MORE. MORE. MORE!!!

Thanks so much for that!

Susan
Powder

Trad climber
the Box
  Apr 10, 2017 - 04:03pm PT
This is awesome!! Love the graphics and pie charts!! Very funny.

Thank you so much for sharing; looking forward to more!


*^_^*
Neil Chelton

climber
England
Author's Reply  Apr 24, 2017 - 09:54am PT
Thanks for the comments guys!

In response to your questions:
 I'm sure people have soloed it before
 Girlfriends name is Maria, she did Zodiac
 I'm in Cornwall
 Yes I finally got around to having that poo
 It's a great route if you ever feel like having an epic loose-rock nightmare

Cheers!
EdwardT

Trad climber
Retired
  Apr 24, 2017 - 10:10am PT
Congrats on your climb. Great story. Thanks for posting.
Roger Breedlove

climber
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
  Apr 25, 2017 - 06:45am PT
Ho hum. Boy risks life to get attention of girl: the ploy works; boy then has her do all of the work.

Great story. The best, one glance pie charts--full of meaning but data free.

Cool TR.
clustiere

Trad climber
berkeley ca
  Apr 24, 2017 - 10:16am PT
Well done, and way to tell it.
christinafreschl

climber
Berkeley
  Apr 24, 2017 - 04:20pm PT
Fun stuff!
BASE104

Social climber
An Oil Field
  Apr 27, 2017 - 10:07am PT
Bad ass! Love the pics, too.

Meeting someone on top of El Cap is a kind gesture.
gonamok

climber
dont make me come over there
  May 1, 2017 - 10:18pm PT
really entertaining read, and MAN what a solo! way to go dude
'Pass the Pitons' Pete

Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
  May 9, 2017 - 08:51am PT
I am pretty sure I remember Wally Barker up there on Gulf Stream soloing next to me when I was doing the same on Iron Hawk in the fall of 97.

I think the route has seen around a dozen ascents? But Neil's was the first post-rockfall ascent.

Kate and Erik bailed from the route only two weeks before the massive rockfall obliterated the start of the route that they had just climbed! Kate and I were over on BUBS when the rockfall happened - pretty darn scary! Anyone at the base at the time wouldn't have stood a chance.


To orient yourself, this photo is taken from about halfway up El Cap to the right of Zodiac on a route called Born Under a Bad Sign. Just right of the dust cloud is the Footstool, upon which Neil started on New Jersey Turnpike to bypass the rockfall zone. Neil traversed onto Gulf Stream a short distance up.

Check out the talus flowing a quarter-mile downhill! It was absolutely rad. When it was finished, the dust cloud was as high as the Nose. There was nobody around to see it - no one in the Meadows so far as I recall, and only one other climber on the wall soloing Tribal Rite I think. 8:15pm July 7 2008.

I posted up videos, but Kate made me take them down. She was so aghast and her language quite colourful.

Gulf Stream is on my short list. Anyone interested in getting scared??
Chugach

Trad climber
Vermont
  May 10, 2017 - 10:07am PT
Cheers to you, super report. Love the romantic graphic.
cornel

climber
Lake Tahoe, Nevada
  May 11, 2017 - 02:17pm PT
Great report! Funny stuff! Yes sir! I too appreciate thin nail ups. A5s are fun. Scarey but fun... to me anyway.
docsavage

Trad climber
Albuquerque, NM
  May 11, 2017 - 04:23pm PT
There must be some kind of award for TR's like this ...
Don Paul

Social climber
Washington DC
  May 15, 2017 - 03:23pm PT
Great job, I never liked bounce testing either....
radair

Social climber
North Conway, NH
  May 16, 2017 - 06:05am PT
Top notch, sot
Go