favorite quotes?

If you think you’re enlightened go spend a week with your family.

There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn't true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.

I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations — one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it — you will regret both.

What if everything in the world were a misunderstanding, what if laughter were really tears?

Take away paradox from the thinker and you have a professor.

A fire broke out backstage in a theatre. The clown came out to warn the public; they thought it was a joke and applauded. He repeated it; the acclaim was even greater. I think that's just how the world will come to an end: to general applause from wits who believe it's a joke.

"After all, being lost is a state of mind rather than an actual physical reality."

They do not want your life, bwana. They want your shoes.

...for oft it may chance that old wives keep in memory word of things that once were needful for the wise to know.

But it wasn't the bullet that laid him to rest; was the low spark of high-heeled boys