Werner Appreciation Thread

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Messages 1 - 46 of total 46 in this topic
Ouch!

climber
Topic Author's Original Post - Sep 7, 2005 - 02:35am PT
maculated

Trad climber
San Luis Obispo, CA
Sep 7, 2005 - 03:11am PT
Don't step on my blue suede shoes.

Ouch, I am impressed with the liberal use of all posted photos of me. :)
Ouch!

climber
Topic Author's Reply - Sep 7, 2005 - 03:18am PT
You're a good subject, Mac. You have a great sense of humor, I think. Otherwise, I would have been whacked. :-)

You have some great pictures posted here. Taking liberties with them just seems the thing to do. Fershizzles.
macgyver

Social climber
Oregon, but now in Europe
Sep 7, 2005 - 06:02am PT
I want a legit photo of the current Werner...what does this hardman look like. He is nowhere on the YOSAR site...then again...he could be...

rock
Mike.

climber
Sep 7, 2005 - 10:24am PT
To effectively locate WB, you must first locate the most complex-looking tangle of elecrtronic equipment in the Valley. Work outward from there. Unlsees there's a big job running, in which case you'll find him at the sharp end of getting it done.

PS: Electric vehicles breaking the speed of sound may be another indicator you're getting close...


Werner now has two appreciation threads. The US government started the other one. Both well deserved, IMO.
Wrathchild

Big Wall climber
Lee NH
Sep 7, 2005 - 10:42am PT
OOHHH, MAAAN,
You're the shizznick!
mark miller

Social climber
Reno
Sep 7, 2005 - 11:24am PT
W.B. pretty much looks like that except his feet do point in the normal forward direction, and he looks more fit, especially when he cruises what youv'e been hanging your way up for 2 years at the cookie.
Karl Baba

Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
Sep 7, 2005 - 12:01pm PT
Werner is the greatest!

But his feet do not face the way other mortals do. Ever watch him walk? It's a subtle thing but his posture and gait fortell that he is wicked strong and in touch with his entire physical state. Hard to define but there is a springy, kung fu sort of grace to it.

He has a wealth of other extraordinary virtues as well, but I'm willing to bet that he is a crappy singer.

Peace

karl
Ouch!

climber
Topic Author's Reply - Sep 7, 2005 - 12:11pm PT
Last time I saw Werner was when he came by for Sunday dinner of baked possum and sweet taters. That's him in the back.

Shack

Social climber
So. Cal.
Sep 7, 2005 - 02:13pm PT
I think Werner doesn't want to be found!
I tried to find him my last trip up there,
to invite him to the ISTC in the meadow.
I even sent a couple of messages thru SAR members,
but to no avail!
Ouch!

climber
Topic Author's Reply - Sep 7, 2005 - 02:29pm PT
I heard about that, Shack. I believe when you were there, he had gone to a baseball game with Ol' #46.
WBraun

climber
Sep 7, 2005 - 02:38pm PT
Not true shack, I came looking for you and it was too late back then. It has been so busy this year for me.

Right now at this moment we have another big ass search going for some guy out by 10 lakes area named Zheng. Anybody seen him?

Gota run, ....later man ....
Shack

Social climber
So. Cal.
Sep 7, 2005 - 02:53pm PT
I know Werner, I'm just giving you a hard time...
Next time I will find you though!!
Ouch!

climber
Topic Author's Reply - Sep 7, 2005 - 04:03pm PT
Shack

Social climber
So. Cal.
Sep 7, 2005 - 04:22pm PT
Oh noooo! Bear 46 has an AK!!
AKutzer

Trad climber
From Texas to Tahoe
Sep 7, 2005 - 05:25pm PT
I'll bet it took him awhile to find an AK-46
Shack

Social climber
So. Cal.
Sep 7, 2005 - 05:43pm PT
"The Right to Arm Bears"
Ouch!

climber
Topic Author's Reply - Sep 7, 2005 - 05:51pm PT
Werner is trollproof. Sometimes I feel like a swatted mosquito.
Shack

Social climber
So. Cal.
Sep 7, 2005 - 06:30pm PT
"Discount Rescue" what a great concept!

Climber on the radio: "Help! Help! I need a rescue!"

Ranger: "Thank you for calling 'Discount Rescue'...Would you like the 'Deluxe Rescue' or the bargain rescue package?....

Dingus Milktoast

climber
NorCal
Sep 7, 2005 - 06:42pm PT
Shack, the Discount Rescues should follow the Internet Porn model and instead call themselves, Free Rescues!

When you call for a rescue, they jump to it. But just as they are about to swing the basket in for the Big Pickup, a salesman (ptpp?) comes on the radio and explains that extractions are 'members only' privileges. Members receive a 100% free Unlimited Rescue Account. The modest enrollment fee is to offset administrative costs, overhead and profit, credit cards gladly accepted.

DMT
Jaybro

Social climber
The West
Sep 7, 2005 - 07:32pm PT
-Karl
We refered to it as the Werner 'bop.' Part Groucho Marx, all his.
Even on the slackchain. I used to wonder if "Bitch's Brew," was his internal dialog. Amazing
Shack

Social climber
So. Cal.
Sep 7, 2005 - 07:48pm PT
Yeah, Dingus...
Before they lower the basket, they lower down the keypad
so you can enter your pin number.
Ouch!

climber
Topic Author's Reply - Sep 7, 2005 - 08:25pm PT
LOL! You guys seem to know a lot about conducting porn transactions. Does it help to be sober at the time?
Crimpergirl

Sport climber
St. Louis
Sep 7, 2005 - 11:20pm PT
Crimpergirl likes Rokjox. More stories please!!!
WBraun

climber
Sep 8, 2005 - 12:04am PT
Sh-it Rokjox there's very few people around who've seen that ugly piece of sh-it car. Bought it of the Superintendents wife for $25.00 back then. Some drunk prick came out from the Mt Room bar one night and smashed the front and rear windshields. I had to borrow Birdwell’s car to go to the junk yard and buy front and rear windshields.

We had to get a running start some times to get up steep grades. Some times guys would have to push that thing just to get enough speed going and then jump in.

Ha ha ha what a piece of crap that was. I was going down I-80 once and the front windshield had a hole the size of a basket ball on the drivers side during a snow storm wearing my ski goggles. CHP pulls me over and gives me the WTF look. I tell him the loader dropped his bucket through there during one big storm. He goes “OK, are ya going to get it fixed” I reply “Of coarse” and give him the look “do I look like an idiot.”

Of coarse he buys the story lock stock and whatever that goes with that phrase. But gives me a fix it ticket. You get, I forget how many days to fix the violation before they slap you with a fine if you don’t. Now all ya got to do with those back then is make up some officers name and badge number and where ever that thing goes they always clear it.

Worked every time …..
Hardman Knott

Gym climber
Straight Outta Squamton
Sep 8, 2005 - 01:01am PT
Thanks you guys –– this is some of the best stuff I've read anywhere!
You guys both captured the moment really well. !@#$%^& awesome! Still LMAO...
Ouch!

climber
Topic Author's Reply - Sep 8, 2005 - 05:26pm PT
BUSTED


Russ Walling

Social climber
Sep 8, 2005 - 05:44pm PT
Werner looks the same now as he did back in '81 or so.... kinda like a tall non-Asian Bruce Lee that needs a sandwich.

He has skills too.... while boxing in the old Rescue Site he has knocked some of the ruling Valleys Kings of the era onto their ass.

He can also balance all kinds of objects on his nose. True... seen knives, lawn chairs, bike wheels.. I have a pic here somewhere.....
Mike.

climber
Sep 8, 2005 - 06:06pm PT
Thanks for the grins, you guys. Rokj gets a huge beer.
Russ Walling

Social climber
Sep 8, 2005 - 06:07pm PT
Found it... this is a real one too, not some bad PS fake. Sig is real too... had him sign it personally. 1984??

Ouch!

climber
Topic Author's Reply - Sep 8, 2005 - 06:15pm PT
Talk about your wild man! That hurts to look at.
burp

Trad climber
Salt Lake City
Sep 8, 2005 - 06:29pm PT
Howdy,

I love the photo of WBraun on the back of the '87(?) Sole Survivor calendar. He's plugged in solo on something in the valley with a ghetto-blaster purched on his shoulder. Can't remember whether the plug is sticking is his mouth or not and can't remember which route ... need to go dig the calendar out.

Someone have this to scan for supertaco? I don't have a scanner.

Enjoy!

burp
Hardman Knott

Gym climber
Straight Outta Squamton
Sep 8, 2005 - 06:29pm PT
Now we know for sure that Rockjox wasn't BS-ing.

Werner really was a !@#$%^& wildman!
arete

Trad climber
Estes Park, Colorado
Sep 8, 2005 - 06:47pm PT
Back in the 70's it had long been a park rule to not feed the animals. However plenty of tourists still did it on a regular basis and there were always even more racoons, squirrels, blackbirds and pterydactyls than climbers in front of the deli, begging for handouts.

Werner used to sit on a bench and hold his hand out to scavenging racoons and when they approached, expecting a tidbit, he would haul off and slap them! (not hard you understand -- he wasn't trying to hurt them and didn't, just discouraged them). It did have a tendancy to appall and outrage the tourists though.

Never saw him slap a bear but wouldn't be surprised.
Ouch!

climber
Topic Author's Reply - Sep 8, 2005 - 07:51pm PT
kevin Fosburg

Sport climber
park city,ut
Sep 9, 2005 - 12:00am PT
The crazy thing is Werner really can balance things on his nose. I'm pretty sure I remember him sending a bicycle first or second try.
Watusi

Social climber
Joshua Tree, CA
Sep 9, 2005 - 12:22am PT
He certainly is the Real McCoy!! Beyond reproach!!
Jaybro

Social climber
The West
Sep 9, 2005 - 02:30pm PT
Either Cosgrove or Walt had the definitlve knife on Nose while on slackchain photo, in their van.

so that's where the squirrel thing started, alas, that patting lead to punting.
arete

Trad climber
Estes Park, Colorado
Sep 9, 2005 - 02:50pm PT
Another thing I saw Werner do a couple of times at the deli....
He would be walking away from the deli eating a banana, and then casually toss the peel over his shoulder onto the ground.

After a minute or so, he would come back, pick it up and toss it in the trash can. Always great watching peoples reactions though. They were probably just as appalled at us for LOL as they were at Werner.

"alas, that patting lead to punting"

I don't think Werner started the fine sport of squirrel and raccoon punting. We sometimes went for the extra point in C4 when things were getting out of hand. Having a raccoon chewing a hole in your tent in the middle of the night (even when there is no food in it) gets to be a pain. Yager used to have this giant family style camping tent that could sleep a family of 20 refugees. One winter, every night when we stumbled home from the MR bar, we would have to chase 30 raccoons out of it.

edit: OK, so 30 is a bit of an exageration -- it was a bunch though. Mom, dad and a slew of kids. We should have called Werner over to teach 'em a lesson.
Largo

Sport climber
Venice, Ca
Sep 9, 2005 - 06:02pm PT
In the old days, whenever I'd get stressed, I'd go hang with Warner in his Van. We never said much, but I always left his presence with a change in perspctive, and was good to go from there.

JL
stoneloan

Trad climber
Temecula, CA
Sep 9, 2005 - 08:43pm PT
werner doesn't know me but when i was trying to top out on the nose in july of '99 (my first time up), the sar was hauling up mary braun who was bringing up an injured euro who jumped from the boot and slammed into the dihedral. anyways, sar let us top out and offered to fly our bags down if we'd help haul mary up on a 1 to 1. i was beat up but proud to be on top and happy to be helping sar. over comes werner and he says, "your climb doesn't count because you're not taking your own haul-bag down". i guess i looked crushed because he started laughing and said he was only kidding.

bob
Crimpergirl

Sport climber
St. Louis
Sep 9, 2005 - 11:28pm PT
I feel like I'm hallucinating with this thread. Mac! What happened to you? And me - ack!!!
WBraun

climber
Sep 9, 2005 - 11:36pm PT
As you may know Crimpergirl, it's about 99.99% bullsh-it.

It's the point zero one percent thats cha gota worry about.
can't say

Social climber
Pasadena CA
Sep 10, 2005 - 12:28am PT
So Werner, what's the true story behind the pic that made it into Yosemite Climber? The one of you with massive racks around your shoulders, looking slighly peeved. Is it true that photo was taken on an early attempt of the PO and you had just jugged the fixed lines with those racks weighing you down.
WBraun

climber
Sep 10, 2005 - 12:08pm PT
That's the true story.

But I wasn't peeved. I just got to the ledge and was straining to stabilize myself on the uneven surface I was standing, when I forget who had the camera says, “Let me take a shot here”.

Click! And immortalized into the emulsion of chemicals and paper an image in time. :-)
Peter Haan

Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
Oct 5, 2010 - 09:26am PT
This one old thread!

Werner, the Fourth Manifestation:



Werner, Huichol Warrior--- Fish's favorite:

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