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Keeper of Australia Mt
Trad climber
Whitehorse, Yukon , Canada
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Topic Author's Original Post - Sep 5, 2009 - 11:27pm PT
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I am afraid that the hordes of chalk totin, Royal Robbins garbed, sport climbers cuttin the umbilical cords tethering them to seedy climbing gyms accross the land are not being adequately trained and educated in the proper history of our profession, its deep protocols, resonating traditions and run the risk of going off route with potentially dire consequences.
This is because some of prime scrolls of our fierce and legendary traditions are no longer available to these young, over talented, shy, and very innocent newbies. For some years,
there has been a gap they have stumbled into not unlike the Grand Canyon. They have plummetted rather than summitted.
No longer can they seek inspiration and comfort in the Squamish scrolls: only half of their resident brain cells have been receiving the necessary stimulation - the half absorbing the ongoing massages from Largo. The other half of the brain cells, the female side, has slid into quasi- obscurity. If climbing is ever to ascend to its place as an Olympian sport - these newbies need to have the appropriate mental preparation and focus in order to marshall all of their talents to the challenges which lay ahead.
The scrolls are hard to come by:
Vicious Lies an' Heinous Slander - From a Supremely Demented
Little Corner of the Coast Range!!! Vols. 1 & 2)1989 & ?
Tami Knight Returns (1993) Menasha Ridge Press.
Climbing Tales of Terror! Wicked Lies & Malicious Slander.
(1990) Menasha Ridge Press.
Those that exist are tattered, embattered, stained by beer, heiinous old Scotch, and most likely a variety of subliminal
human body secretions, excretions, and affixations. They are
horded in dark rooms from which are emitted strange sounds, and
barely understood verbal renditions (sounds like Canmore).
We are at a crisis and it unlikely that the ACC or AAC have the wherewithall to deal with it. With oxygen deprivation at high levels they may not even know it exists.
The masses have to move to deal with this and provide a sustainable future to the future generations. Their fates could be on our conscience.
Write, e-mail, telegraph,twitter,facebook, scipe, picket, whatever the Vancouver MEC and get T, Knight released from her bondage. She should be reassigned duties as MEC Ambassador/Distance Educator focusing on the climbing sector. This would involve dedicated preparation of new scrolls and detailed analyses and market assessments of the recent history of climbing and its post-Batso future. With Ambassadorial status upon special appointment by the govt. Canada she would have diplomatic impunity and her bags would be free from inappropriate searches for contrabrand liquids, old scotch , hair spray, rouge and the like.
It could be Knight's out for the young and the restless unless we overcome this darkest hour.
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johntp
Trad climber
socal
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Anders-
Thanks for the translation. Fer a minute I was confuzzled.
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Melissa
Gym climber
berkeley, ca
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Can I toss in a little Tami Knight appreciation thread action here?
Tami...the short article that you just published in the Alpinist was really special. I felt choked up reading it, and then actually was overcome w/ tears when I tried to read it out loud to my boyfriend...because on second read I saw where it was all going and remembered the punch of the ending. And as you wrote, the sad part wasn't strictly the sad part, but the sense of the uniquely happy and free-spririted part passing. Simply amazing.
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Hmmm... I have copies of all but:
Teeterin' on the Brink of Climbing. The Ugliest Stuff yet by T.Knight, ZBolan Publishing, Calgary, AB, Canada, 1996, comic book format. OUT OF PRINT: NO STOCK REMAINING.
Close Calls: Climbing Mishaps and Near-Death Experiences by John Long, Illustrated by Tami Knight, Falcon Press, Helena, Montana, 1999, 'portrait' format book 167pp. STILL AVAILABLE AS FAR AS I KNOW ...but I don't have copies of it for sale.
Though Close Calls was a joint effort, not a TK solo.
Some but not all have been personally dedicated...no, wrong word, defaced by the author. Need to remember to get the rest mutilated.
Plus I have two copies of the first and only edition of Tami's "Big Mountain" (2001).
A section of my library is devoted to climbing "humour".
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Keeper of Australia Mt
Trad climber
Whitehorse, Yukon , Canada
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 6, 2009 - 01:23am PT
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Yes, the Mighty Hiker is most definitely with the program and retains a lawyer's deep retention of the finer points - good to have the add on with the 2007 post albeit is but a teaser for the collected works.
As the Countess of Squamish notes most of her scrolls are out of print - this is a calamity in need of attention. We need a full moon or two , some late nights, a dark cellar, some lamps, a few bottles of Glenrivet, a gnarled refugee from the valley (Silicon that is) who provides a high-tech insurgent scanning device who can reproduce these little gems and post them in their unexpurgated totality on Supertopo. You know those PMSs or PFDs or PDFs, or whatever.
I have a few of these salient analyses but am missing the first 1988 entree plus the Everest treat. My life is not complete until I procure them.
In the meantime we will have to assume a yoga position in front of our computer screen and provide the background OHMs to
www.tamiknight.com
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Did I mention that I represent Ms. Knight with respect to matters to do with copyright?
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Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
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Tami Knight in Climbing
bonus in Climbing 154, 178 Profile by David Harris
and Climbing 216, 82 Players by Lizzy Scully
Climbing 117, 90 "A Climber's Guide to Canada"
Climbing 119, 174 "Twenty Years of Purulent Lies & Vitriolic Slander"
Climbing 120, 10
Climbing 153, 12 "Roger the Huyperconshis Masstrrrr of the Extreem"
Climbing 154, 12 "Ralf the Sportclimber Goes Alpine!!!"
Climbing 155, 12 "Feelmypain"
Climbing 156, 12 "One Fine Day in the Year 368 159 224 A D "
Climbing 157, 10 "Waiter There's a Fly in My Soup"
Climbing 158, 12 "The Bent Saga of Helspur Spitz"
Climbing 159, 14 "Roger the Huyperconshis Masstrrrr of the Extreem"
Climbing 160, 16 "Roger the Huyperconshis Masstrrrr of the Extreem"
Climbing 161, 14 "Ralf the Sportclimber Nearly Gets a Date"
Climbing 162, 14 "Handley Waddle Mosstheft III & the Ultimate Alpine Enchainment"
Climbing 163, 14 "Wallace Danby Reifler III Muses on the Past"
Climbing 164, 14 "Whut's Gonna Happen When SportClimbing is accepted as an Olympic sport"
Climbing 165, 14 "More Goofy Reasons to Climb Mount Everest"
Climbing 166, 8 "It’s Been Twentytwo Years Six Months Four Dayz & About 8 Hours Since Hank Saw Vince…"
Climbing 167, 14 "SAR Tech Big Bob Handles Another Sitchuation!"
Climbing 168, 14 "A Real Important Thing"
Climbing 169, 14 "Weldon Fails to Plan for the Inevitable"
Climbing 170, 10 "America's Craazy Climbers!"
Climbing 171, 12 "Gerty Fudge Gets Stuck on the Horns of a Dilemma"
Climbing 172, 12 "Another Climber'z Match-Kwiz"
Climbing 173, 12 "The Everest Website"
Climbing 174, 12 "Into Thin Hair"
Climbing 176, 16 "Digby Finds a Clever Way to Pay Off His Debts…"
Climbing 177, 14 "Another Climber'z Match-Kwiz"
Climbing 178, 14 "About Them Nipples!!!"
Climbing 179, 12 "Day One…At the Outdoor Retailer Tradeshow"
Climbing 180, 18 "Accesspalooza"
Climbing 181, 16 "Roger the Trad Tries Somethin’ New!"
Climbing 182, 16 "Better Warning Labels on Climbing Equipment"
Climbing 183, 12 "I am a Woman and Thissiz Wot I Want"
Climbing 185, 14 "Visit Yosemiteland"
Climbing 186, 14 "Mr Jellyfish Tries Rock Climbing"
Climbing 187, 12 "Barney Gets a New Hero"
Climbing 188, 16 "The Year is 2953: Time Fer the Millenium Ascent of Everest"
Climbing 189, 14 "Callin’ All Rads…Have the Trad Experience"
Climbing 190, 16 "Into the Mallory Infested Waters Bertha Bogwad Waded"
Climbing 191, 10 "Freddy’s Saga"
Climbing 192, 12 "The Sponsored Climber of the Twentyfirst Centureee"
Climbing 194, 14 "Introducing: Climber-Specific Bumwipe"
Climbing 195, 14 "Bouldering iz the Haiku of Climbing"
Climbing 196, 12 "Whut Writing About Climbing is Missing"
Climbing 197, 48 "Reinhold Gets an Obscene Call"
Climbing 198, 46 "Typical Male Climber Stranded on a Desert Island"
Climbing 199, 50 "Barking Mad Alpine Club"
Climbing 200, 46 "Barking Mad Alpine Club"
Climbing 201, 44 "Barking Mad Alpine Club"
Climbing 203, 34 "Barking Mad Alpine Club"
Climbing 204, 44 "Barking Mad Alpine Club"
Climbing 205, 38 "Barking Mad Alpine Club"
Climbing 206, 44 "Barking Mad Alpine Club"
Climbing 207, 44 "Barking Mad Alpine Club"
Climbing 208, 46 "Barking Mad Alpine Club"
Climbing 209, 38 "Barking Mad Alpine Club"
Climbing 210, 34 "Barking Mad Alpine Club"
Climbing 212, 42 "Barking Mad Alpine Club"
Climbing 213, 30 "Barking Mad Alpine Club"
Climbing 214, 28 "Barking Mad Alpine Club"
Climbing 215, 42 "Barking Mad Alpine Club"
Climbing 216, 36 "Barking Mad Alpine Club"
Climbing 217, 36 "Barking Mad Alpine Club"
Climbing 218, 32 "Barking Mad Alpine Club"
Climbing 219, 34 "Climbing iz Serious"
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jstan
climber
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"Into Thin Hair"
Edit:
Definitely a serious case of iconoclasm.
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Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
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ve have our vays
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WBraun
climber
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Tami
I looked at the painting for a while and then started laughing when that clown started to move.
Hahaha thanks for the laughs
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Keeper of Australia Mt
Trad climber
Whitehorse, Yukon , Canada
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 6, 2009 - 02:30am PT
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Of course we wuz thinking of the corporate ST post rather than the forum type post like in the sidebars of this site - I am sure a deal could be reached between TK's agent generale (Mighty Hiker) and the Supertopo corporate conglomerate. She would expect payment in US dollars via her PayPalsy walsy option, or appropriate gold wafers deposited in a designated Swiss bank account (easy access for her retirement epic and villa pres de le Nordwand et al). She would prefer to pay her resulting taxes in Canadian funds in a state with a light handed tax regime like maybe California rather than BC which is harmonizing the middle class with the East Van street people via their doodlin with the GST. The Mighty Hiker service being provided via Vancouver Legal Aid - as any extra billable hour payments would put him into an unattractive tax bracket as far as Stephen Harper and the BC Premier are concerned. They are looking to pay for the Whistler 2010 blast anyway they can and will keeping an eye out for lawyers spending too much time in exotic locales (Camp 4) with too much visible support.
Of course, Canadians are always ready to dynamically belay their brothers and sisters so one might suggest that an alternate option might be for the dynamic duo to produce TK's first ever Very Vicious and Heinously Insurgent - Knights in White Satin/Lycra CD -
which would have the entire collection on one CD complete with bonus tracts such as a video "Guide to Pioneering, Bars, Campsites, Pizza Joints, Sally Anns within the Great Squamish Area, Tk Interviews of the Squamish Legends and Ghosts.
Selected Pics fromt the Past, Squamish climb'in & Drinkin Tunes and so on. This could then be marketted via the big climbing rags, and even through Amazon.com. this could be big, actually it would be bigger than big. It would make Ophrah's
Book list and then there would be a steady demands for talk show interludes. Climbing would dyno into the publics cerebral recesses. She could upgrade to a a nice West Van penthouse with a clear view up the inlet to Sqaumish and new wheels, BMW, Lincoln Cont., red Ferrari with little trailer for gear and supplies.
Think big and think rad here. This could be like the big one hitting Vancouver and lower mainline and would be a big wave like no other.
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Keeper of Australia Mt
Trad climber
Whitehorse, Yukon , Canada
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 6, 2009 - 03:08am PT
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Yup, TK can envelope the lower 48 and I already am well advanced at providing the big exposee of Aussie Climbing history - we are working for the post-vegemite world.
After a gnarly Queen'sland climbing vixen had her way with me - well actually I think it was this species that got me into this little pastime but the counter insurgency is gaining momentum.
There is more embedded material for humor in that waterless wasteland than anywhere else on the planet. If the boys have the sheep restless in the Alaska Range, think about conditions for the wallabies at Arapiles - and they have built in handle bars. The Keeper of Aussie Mt is working on a website and already a couple of t-shirts which are reducing the corporate dividends for Billabong.
No 1 is basically out of stock but is a keeper.
#2 is entitled ' Canada Select - Australia's Most Dangerous"
#1: Queen'sland Outback Matildas (Amazonius thylacinia)
"Danger is not necessarily proportional to the Number of Legs an Animal Can Deploy." Dr. W. Watt (California Academy of
Sciences) 2005, in discussion with the Keeper of Australia Mt
on the subject: " Are the thylacines really extinct in
Queen'sland Australia?"
T-shirt colors are appropriately yellow/god with green lettering. Still some of these available but out of mediums
because of high demand from New Zealand and male climbers in Victoria, Aussie.
Stay tuned.
The Keeper of Australia Mt, Up Over
First Vegemite-free Ascent Pending
Also have a little archaeology project going in and around Aussie Mt - early results are scandolous.
Uncovered an Aussie version of a Big Bro - A large, mangled Fosters Beer Can with remnants of a sling around it - obviously good to the last drop! What can one make of the sharks jaw and a cache of degraded Aussie shampoo containers. Must have been an ancient encampment of some Aussie climbing matildas trying to have their way with this poor crag. Analysis of the data is continuing - maybe put CSI Miami off the charts.
TK - save the Mighty Hiker - once we get him geo-located in Yosemite as the new Judge on the Yosemite District Court he could still prove to be very helpful. NPS may try and intercede
against our little Yosemite franchise distributing your CD and my t-shirts so we need an inside fixer. He has great reach, in fact he is everywhere - I go to Skaha for a little roadtrip with Colin Morehead and he is there holding his ACCESS court - amazing. I go to Squamish for a few routes - he is there (can't recall if it was Climb On, or Climb Off (the Brewpub),or maybe he was an MEC spy over at the other outdoor gear shop. I go to MEC and there he is again marketing all sorts of old fangled chunks of climbing gear and new fangled titanium chunks of thingy m jingies from Latvia. He is everywhere. He must have been cloned. If he has that reach than we can use him - so keep sending him those dead birdies that occasionally fly into the window at MEC - for his little kitty.
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Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
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Tami you've been PM'd, but maybe by email channels other than TacoMail...
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Pewf
climber
nederland
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Yes but only for store credit and sorry to say the rest of the merchandise ain't woth the exchange.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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My vote for this week's most cryptic thread.
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Pewf
climber
nederland
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Tami, is there hope of resurrecting those that are out of stock?
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noshoesnoshirt
climber
Arkansas, I suppose
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Left my copy of Vicious Lies an' Heinous Slander on the back of my toilet, and it disappeared within months.
I'm still heartbroken
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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is it just me, or is another, brilliant as he is, artist infringing on young Tami's wurk?
does it go back to eek and meek?
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