The Idiot's girlfriend's Guide to Descending Lone Pine Peak

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yosguns

climber
San Francisco, CA
Topic Author's Original Post - Mar 23, 2009 - 10:14pm PT
As the NEW LEADER...I garrulously give you the TR...from the ground:

Are you ready?

...

Day 3:
--ring ring--
Sister: Is DRC home yet?
yosguns: Not yet, but soon. I'm not worried.

Day 4 AM (at yosguns' place of employment):
--ring ring--
yosguns: Hello, yosguns' place of employment.
sister: Is DRC home yet?
yosguns: Not yet, but soon. I'm not worried.

Day 4 PM (at yosguns' place of employment):
yosguns: Hello, yosguns' place of employment.
sister: Hi, ummmm, so, my mom got a call from a Sergeant.
yosguns: SAR? like search and rescue?
sister: whatever.

--ring ring--
mom: His name is Sergeant Hardcastle and he said helicopter!!!
yosguns: It's ok, sometimes this happens.
mom: You should get a cell phone!!!
yosguns: That's beside the point.

--in real life--
yosguns' manager: Ummm, yosguns, is everything OK?

--ring ring--
yosguns: I mean, I thought the Northeast Ridge of Lone Pine Peak FROM THE DESERT FLOOR took more than a few days for a winter ascent? Is there any reason to be worried?
Sergeant Hardcastle: Yes, no reason to be worried!
yosguns: So, they were off route?
SH: Yes, waaaaaay off route!
yosguns: So, you're telling me I'm going to have a boyfriend home with 1/2 a rack and some wounds to lick?
SH: Yes, 1/2 a rack...
...OR LESS!!! Bwah ha ha ha ha.

Day 4 PM (at home listening to answering machine):
mother: BEEEP! something in Russian. With a helicopter. BEEEEEP!

drc: BEEEP! Home sooooon! Yerrrrr gonna be so praaaaaoud!!!! BEEEP!

Day 5 PM:
--in real life--
drc: Sorry, I'm a bit out of it.
yosguns: Yeah. I'm gonna go check the mail...
...
drc: It's ok. You can be mad.
yosguns: I'm not maaaAAAAaaad...
(4 hours later)
yosguns:...it's just that finally I realized what it would be like to be on the ground and get a call like that. How selfish! I mean, it's sooooo MEAN!!!
(2 hours later)
yosguns:...and I'm sorry I'm still ranting...yes, another round please...but I mean, how MEAN!!!

Day 6 (from North Carolina):
--ring ring--
drc: hullo?
yosguns: sorry I ranted so much last night.
drc: it's ok.
yosguns: I got a 1/2 tuition scholarship to Duke!
Clint Cummins

Trad climber
SF Bay area, CA
Mar 23, 2009 - 10:23pm PT
That girlfriend is no idiot!
(OK, I misread - the boyfriend (Victor) is the idiot, oops!)
But not so much an idiot that he didn't survive it, whew!

(but OK to feel a bit frazzled after fielding all those interruptions over so many days)
mucci

Trad climber
sf ca
Mar 23, 2009 - 10:39pm PT
such composure, focus and not to mention the epic management of her place of work. To hold down all of these attributes is why YOSGUNS in the new leader. KNown to manage DRC on several epic encounters, second to the coming of chuck norris flying up the gully yelling "Yer Gonna Die" right after he plucks all of Drc's gear and uses it to build a summit register only he will ever sign.
Keep him in line fearless leader, your mignons await!
Can't wait to climb with you guys, you should just tow him up amidst the beer can bombs coming from the west.
Dapper Dan

climber
Menlo Park
Mar 23, 2009 - 11:24pm PT


just gaze at this babe and all your problems will be solved
drc

Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
Mar 23, 2009 - 11:32pm PT
My god, man.... WTF????
yosguns

climber
San Francisco, CA
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 23, 2009 - 11:47pm PT
Actually, Dapper...more like...:



TKingsbury

Trad climber
MT
Mar 24, 2009 - 05:13am PT
lol!

Cheers!
Chiloe

Trad climber
Lee, NH
Mar 24, 2009 - 05:34am PT
An epic twofer TR! Thanks for sharing the other half.
mooch

Big Wall climber
The Immaculate Conception
Mar 24, 2009 - 06:42am PT
I don't get it.
SammyLee2

Trad climber
Memphis, TN
Mar 24, 2009 - 07:30am PT
Might I say, "That's a smoking hot picture?" ;-)
TYeary

climber
Mar 24, 2009 - 08:10am PT
Dudes, What ya gona do down south when no ones comin fer ya!
Fire it up , it's gona be a wait!
Nice,
Tony
Dapper Dan

climber
Menlo Park
Mar 24, 2009 - 08:17am PT
i'd hit that like a pinata...

the hookah i mean
Off White

climber
Tenino, WA
Mar 24, 2009 - 08:30am PT
Hey Pally, youze gots no call ta be referrin ta such a noice girl like dat as a hookah!

And after she gives up all chances of ever being a politician by posting such a photo on the internet too!

Really, the combination of this thread with the Lone Pine descent TR is choice, thanks to all parties for such a swell bit of armchair entertainment.
Dolomite

climber
Anchorage
Mar 24, 2009 - 10:22am PT
This is sweet pairing, thanks. Bump to keep 'em together for a while.
klk

Trad climber
cali
Mar 24, 2009 - 10:22am PT
great narrative. very funny.
Paulina

Trad climber
Mar 24, 2009 - 10:29am PT
Yeah bump this too!
kev

climber
CA
Mar 24, 2009 - 11:23am PT
Bump in an attempt to keep a great couple together :)

See you guys this weekend.

kev
Chiloe

Trad climber
Lee, NH
Mar 24, 2009 - 11:47am PT
And after she gives up all chances of ever being a politician by posting such a photo on the internet too!

Umm, yeah, I was wondering about that. You never know how your path might unfold.

But for the moment it's adding to the stellar-ness of this double TR.
yosguns

climber
San Francisco, CA
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 24, 2009 - 11:48am PT
Thanks, Kev!

And...for the record...it was mango margarita flavored tobacco...at a work BBQ this past summer! Any better for my future political career?
Chiloe

Trad climber
Lee, NH
Mar 24, 2009 - 11:58am PT
it was mango margarita flavored tobacco...Any better for my future political career?

That sounds worse! ;-)
Crimpergirl

Social climber
Boulder, Colorado!
Mar 24, 2009 - 12:00pm PT
Seen lots of hookah smoking that didn't involve illegal substances. Heck in STL, there was a hookah bar!


edit: I see it coming - I said Hookah, not hooker. :)
hossjulia

Trad climber
Eastside
Mar 24, 2009 - 01:47pm PT
yosguns, good job on the HR.

Now, when are going to retrieve the gear?
graniteclimber

Trad climber
Nowhere
Mar 24, 2009 - 03:27pm PT
yosguns: So, they were off route?
SH: Yes, waaaaaay off route!
yosguns: So, you're telling me I'm going to have a boyfriend home with 1/2 a rack and some wounds to lick?
SH: Yes, 1/2 a rack...
...OR LESS!!! Bwah ha ha ha ha.


How much of the rack did he lose?
Chiloe

Trad climber
Lee, NH
Mar 24, 2009 - 03:40pm PT
Once my friends and I were overdue coming home from the high country. Leslie phoned another climber, Mike Gilbert, and asked whether she should worry or call out a search.

"Oh, they're probably just benighted," he told her. That word had a reassuring sound.
yosguns

climber
San Francisco, CA
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 24, 2009 - 04:10pm PT
Hmm...what did he lose? I know he lost a BD cam 3 + 4...lots of hexes and stoppers. More than that cause it seems to me, all he had left was the yellow alien. I haven't yet surveyed the damage. I've been assured new gear is on the way and he and his partner are splitting the cost (nice of them). DRC...wanna help me out here?

EDIT: Why? I can see the glitter in your eye from here. ;-)
kev

climber
CA
Mar 24, 2009 - 04:14pm PT
Um granted this was him mumbling after drinking more beer than pieces of lost gear but I know he lost a full set of nuts (oops), those hexes I sold him years ago and a #3 and a #4. He brought a 1,2,3,4 a set of nuts, and those hexes.

Funny how those aliens are always there for you...God bless the yellow alien.
drc

Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
Mar 24, 2009 - 04:50pm PT
Full tally:
8 stoppers
4 hexes
#3 C4
#4 C4
(yeah, those hurt)
~10 tied runners
~5 biners
Webolette

granite... you are more than welcome to try and booty all of it.
One request: The drill must stay at home.
I'd love to hear that TR;)

V.

graniteclimber

Trad climber
Nowhere
Mar 24, 2009 - 05:21pm PT
How much beer would it take to bribe YOSAR to lower me off the top on one of their long ropes? Werner?
nature

climber
Tucson, AZ
Mar 24, 2009 - 05:31pm PT
I'm with GC on repeating this part....

SH: Yes, waaaaaay off route!
yosguns: So, you're telling me I'm going to have a boyfriend home with 1/2 a rack and some wounds to lick?
SH: Yes, 1/2 a rack...
...OR LESS!!! Bwah ha ha ha ha.



the fact that there is that much booty out there isn't worth much to me. The laugh I got outta that commentary is worth the read :-)
Gary

climber
Desolation Basin, Calif.
Mar 24, 2009 - 05:38pm PT
And...for the record...it was mango margarita flavored tobacco...

But did you inhale?
Zander

Trad climber
Berkeley
Mar 24, 2009 - 06:09pm PT
This TR is sweet too,
Zander
Jana

Sport climber
Martin
Mar 25, 2009 - 12:21pm PT
Great narrative...
FinnMaCoul

Trad climber
Green Mountains, Vermont
Mar 25, 2009 - 01:17pm PT
bump
le_bruce

climber
Oakland: what's not to love?
Mar 30, 2009 - 11:21am PT
11/10!
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