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survival

Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
Mar 18, 2009 - 08:44am PT
Hankster,

The freekin' Hueco story was hilarious, although too short!

A subject I can relate to!! Er....I mean...climbing, that is.
philo

Trad climber
boulder, co.
Mar 18, 2009 - 09:33am PT
Hank was that the trip where I was responsible for keeping the Universe from entropy?
Or was I just driving?
Hankster

Trad climber
Eldorado Springs, CO
Mar 18, 2009 - 09:35am PT
Philo, all I know was someone barfed toothpaste down the side of your car!

Caylor
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 18, 2009 - 09:37am PT
Hank
Cat got your tongue?
Come on, we've waited so long for this minute,


We wanna story!!!!!


A long one, a classic -- You've had so many!!!!!!
Doug Robinson

Trad climber
Santa Cruz
Mar 18, 2009 - 09:51am PT
Hank,

You once reproached me for gettin' it wrong in elaborating one of your stories. Sorry and all, but it just goes to show that we need you to elaborate them for yourself...

I like your acid-washed Hueco tale. Must admit that I could tell one or two of those.

Base104 told me the tale of you going through that window. Up close and personal on that would be good...
philo

Trad climber
boulder, co.
Mar 18, 2009 - 09:52am PT
"all I know was someone barfed toothpaste down the side of your car!"


Where it stayed for an inordinate amount of time.
You could always tell my car in a parking lot.
Burt, the one seated Corolla wagon, was the only vehicle respectable folk would steer clear of and walk as far away from as possible. Even the riff raff and car thieves would leave me sticky notes that said I was bringing down the market. For a good price some offered to steal me a new car if I would just take Burt away.
Prod

Trad climber
A place w/o Avitars apparently
Mar 18, 2009 - 09:57am PT
So Hank, I was wondering about that porno rumor? Was it a real porno production with hot porno stars? If so then who? Or was it just a long home movie kind of porno?

Just curious...

Prod.
jeff leads

Sport climber
ca
Mar 18, 2009 - 10:25am PT
Caylor has more lead in his pencil then any of us on this site. Bow down b's so swole and hot right now
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 18, 2009 - 10:40am PT
And that's exactly why we wanna hear those stories of his!!!!



He's da hardman!
Hankster

Trad climber
Eldorado Springs, CO
Mar 18, 2009 - 11:36am PT
Prod, let's just say that extasy was legal in the late 80's, my high school best friend was a porn director... and yeah I could write a book on all that.


SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 18, 2009 - 11:40am PT
Hanky poo, we don't need a book here, just more details. . .



hee hee hee. . . it's worth a beer to ya--


And why not get a show going at Neptune's?????
MisterE

Trad climber
One Place or Another
Mar 18, 2009 - 05:12pm PT
Bump for fun, weirdness and lunacy.

Hunter Thompson would approve.
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Mar 18, 2009 - 06:09pm PT
Stand back kids.
I know how to work this detail...

Say there... hey Hank.... how's it hangin'???

Hey ... I'd gladly buy you a beer tomorrow for a story today.
You can claim tomorrow's beer at the Southern Sun prior to the Bachar slideshow.

Deal?
Cool, I thought so.
Any story of your choosing.
Let 'er rip!!!
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 18, 2009 - 06:30pm PT
And I'll raise Tarbuster's beer to two!

We're all here around the campfire!
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 19, 2009 - 05:17am PT
Bump again. . . c'mon Hank. . . .



PULEEEEEESSSEEEEEE!!!!!!
Prod

Trad climber
A place w/o Avitars apparently
Mar 19, 2009 - 08:42am PT
Throw us a bone Hankster, maybe a pic or a name?

Prod.
Hankster

Trad climber
Eldorado Springs, CO
Mar 19, 2009 - 09:14am PT
So I was looking to BASE jump my first building. A buddy of mine was visiting from Boston and his seminar happened to be at a popular Denver hotel. He called and asked if I new anybody that could pick a lock. He called from the his room on the 27th floor, and yes, I knew somebody who could pick a lock.

Running off a building with a parachute is usually freaky, and each jump presents its own variety of freakyness. You have to to get in the damn building, with a damn parachute, get into the damn stairwell, avoid all the security and not get onto any cameras(sept your own). You have to tap into your inner James Bond.

When we got to the 40th floor, the lock clicked open as easy as a sorority girls panties. I/we began jumping this building a coupla' times a month. After each jump, the getaway driver would drive around the hotel and then park it. We would then go to the bar of the hotel on the 2nd floor and watch everyone that worked there flip out. "oh my GAWD! people just jumped the building". We would then act more shocked yet still order round after round of brew. The criminal does return to the scene of the crime. Yet all criminals differ.

I almost jumped this building naked as I was very comfortable with it. Glad I didn't try this.

On the 6th jump, 1:AM, I go trucking off of the AC condenser(the only way to clear the ledge). Lucky me, my parachute opens fully backwards. I smashed through glass of the 21st floor. Usually it's the wind, packing problems, body position or just bad luck.

More to cum!

Allright, so I pound through the 21st floor of this hotel. There really isn't enough words to describe jumping off of a building and then re-entering through the glass halfway down. All I could think of was, CRAP! I'm bleeding, alot!! There was a body sized hole in the window. I could see the bright lights of Denver twinkling in the distance. I kept thinking, you will totally be on the news and you are sooooo bleeding. All I wanted was to see where this pulsatile bleeding was coming from. My face was spurting, my elbow was a big ass flap hanging off and I had glass embeded in both shins. Lot's of glass.

I chopped my rig and scurried to the 21st floor elevator. I knew the elevator would be all mirrors and I could see the damage. I pushed the elevator button, the light went blink and a guy walks out. All he said was oh my God! I jumped past him into the elevator and almost barfed. I could stick my tounge out my cheek in 3 places, as obvious to me my elbow was not connected and my jump boots were squishing blood everywhere.

I had 2 thoughts(yep that's all). I wanna go to a hospital, or I wanna get arrested and they can take me to a hospital. Punch the elevator button and start heading down to the main lobby. Staring at myself in this fancy cubicle and trying to hold my face and elbow together. SCREW the legs! Right before the main lobby I had the idea to stop at the 2nd floor mezzanine, where the bar is.

Nobody was looking for the jumper, they were all out on the bar balcony looking at a parachute hanging out the window. I just went down the escalator and watched a cop car, cop car, NEWS van, Fire truck, news van, cop car, news van and did I mention friggin fire trucks?


Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Mar 19, 2009 - 09:33am PT
A PINT sized story, but STOUT nonetheless...
Prod

Trad climber
A place w/o Avitars apparently
Mar 19, 2009 - 10:07am PT
This is a good one...
Mungeclimber

Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
Mar 19, 2009 - 10:31am PT
damn flyers are all crazy, no matter what type of wing they use.

nice
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