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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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Aug 30, 2009 - 02:37pm PT
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Yeah! Eh?
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Aug 31, 2009 - 12:52am PT
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We could, of course, make a list of reasons why the US should invade Canada and pacify us, if only to still the self-righteous patter we indulge in, prevent Canucks from posting on SuperTopo, and keep Russ happy. Including some of those listed - exporting Paul Anka, Celine Dion et al to the US is surely an act of war.
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Keeper of Australia Mt
Trad climber
Whitehorse, Yukon , Canada
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Some reasons why the US Should Invade Canada:
1) Toxic waste could be stored in the nickel mine shafts at Sudbury.
2) It would prevent a reoccurence of the Salt Lake City gold
medal hockey games at Vancouver this February 2010.
3) REI could absorb MEC - thereby creating a conglomerate with
mucho pesos and Ms. Knight and the Mighty Hiker would take on
permanent executive management functions allowing them the
financial resources to either road trip in perpetuity or gain
US Senate positions.
4) NORAD headquaraters at Colorado Springs could be switched to
the Diefenbunker - somewhere in the wasteland of Saskatchewan
and the North Koreans would never be able to find it.
5) The Blue Jays could be moved to Boise, Idaho there by freeing
Torontonians from an oppressive inferiority complex - surplus
pyschologists then could be moved to Baton Rouge and have
more successful careers.
6) The Maple Leafs could be moved to Lubbock, Texas to provide
evening distractions for the local farming community.
7) Pentagon could be moved to Ellesmere Island thereby reducing
the stress on the DC population derived from terrorist
threats.
8) Dick Cheney could become Minister of the East Coast seal hunt
and resolve all issues relegated to primordial harvesting
techniques - his experience with M-1 tanks, rock launchers,
etc could bring an efficient end to the seal problem just
like Islamic terrorists.
9) New jobs as American entrepreneurs develop new products from
used hockey tape.
10)Dell computer production could be repatriated from third
world countries to B.C. where unemployed loggers could be
deployed to new pursuits.
11)Could avoid the political strife of creating an effective
health care system by simply tagging onto the Canadian one -
re-labelled of course.
12)Doug and Bob Mackenzie would become anchormen for aging
US tv late night guys like Litterman, Leano.
13)Yosemite Park could be expanded up through Oregon, Idaho, Saskatchewan, Alberta and to Squamish allowing Peter Jackson
to avoid high New Zealand corporate taxes and facilitate Peter Jackson
launching - Lord of the Rings - the TV series.
14) US music industry could be revived with new talent similar to Celine Dione, Guy Lomardo and his Royal Canadians, Joni Mitchell, Rich Little, Hank Snow, Paul Anka, April Lavigne (very hot in Kansas City), and Skinny Puppy.
15. Direct access to the potash deposits of Saskatchewan to
sustain the LA and Yosemite grow ops.
16. Would acquire the Canadian Navy for use as wartime decoys.
17. Would acquire world class architecture such as a bunch of
used grain silos which could be use to cunningly disguise
Montana ICBM sites from prying Venzuelan and North Korean
eyes.
18. An expanded world class submarine fleet - tough to get that
amazing British technology through alternate means.
19. Farley Mowat - could support Gettysburg public programming
by playing Robert E. Lee in battlefield play scenes.
20. With Gilles Duceppe and the Bloc , Homeland Security could
really have a mission instead of worring about threats from
the Montana or Idaho militias.
21. New Minister of the Interior dude - David Suzuki - would
keep George and his Dallas oil barons in line.
22. West Edmonton Mall - could be dissambled and moved to
Yellowstone to boost park visitation numbers and serve as
NPS western headquarters.
23. Anne of Green Gables - Disney could wrest this from
Canadian Parks Service obscurity and really take it to
another level.
24. PEI - practice island for the big invasion of Cuba - ex
pat Cubans in Miami could be relocated to ease urban
drift and reduce crime stats in Florida = Al Pacino could
be designated Governor at Large for PEI.
25. Stephen Harper - potential successor to Oral Roberts,Pat
Roberts or Billy Graham or any other aged or jailed TV
evangalist preacher. The future of America would be
secured (like the Titantic).
26. the Access (to Canadian Beer) Society would take on a
whole new look. Camp 4 would never have to suffer in the
future and memories of the Yosemite plane crash would fade
into the fog of time(hangovers).
27. Declining snake population in the shrinking Everglades
could be boosted by transplant of designated former
Canadian politicians (BM?)
28 Unlimited Walmart store possibilities.
29. Great place to use all those SUVs being produced annually.
30. Lost of gas to run those SUVs hither and yon.
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apogee
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 5, 2009 - 11:14pm PT
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Keeper of Australia Mt
Trad climber
Whitehorse, Yukon , Canada
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Oh my god! I'm ripping up my US citizenship application immediately! Have to paint maple leafs all over my truck and some on my tent with big arrows!! Got to get my carcass down to the local tattoo parlour and get a nifty little Maple Leaf secured on an attractive asset to sustain these ladies gone wild over shy, innocent, Canucks. Long live the insurgency! The Aussie lads are going to be besides themselves and really warped - will have to ensure a few Kiwi babes head over to the vegemite islet to keep them under control and out of harms way.
Guess I better pack my climbin gear and head out on a road trip into the lower 48 pronto. Oh Canada, we use right guard for thee, from far and wide, we see it rise, it stands on guard for thee. Oh Canada, how much better is it going to be! Rock on.
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sac
Trad climber
spuzzum
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Mar 27, 2010 - 12:16am PT
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f*#kin' a rights!!
my boys...
PROUD CANADIANS!!
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kinnikinik
Trad climber
B.C.
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Mar 27, 2010 - 12:24am PT
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yah, f'in eh! super climber boys.
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Chief
climber
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Mar 27, 2010 - 01:08am PT
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thanks apogee, very neighborly of you and much appreciated.
Best to you and our southern friends.
PB
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apogee
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 27, 2010 - 01:12am PT
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My pleasure, Chief.
And I mean every word of it, and many more that I can't articulate.
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Chief
climber
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Mar 27, 2010 - 01:59am PT
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Good call Tami
Ms Chief and I on a date a few years back.
Bivied in a snow cave up high, went light and froze my ass off.
Very romantic!
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Chaz
Trad climber
greater Boss Angeles area
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Mar 27, 2010 - 02:12pm PT
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I like that Eric Clapton song about Canada.
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willie!!!!!
Trad climber
99827
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Mar 27, 2010 - 02:41pm PT
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Homeland Security Canadian Powder Assessment Operative #420
Duty Status: Active
Current Activity: Standby, awaiting visibility increase
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Mar 27, 2010 - 05:07pm PT
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Here's to Canadian Bums!
Er...I mean Bumps!
Er..........I mean Canada Bump!
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Chief
climber
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Mar 27, 2010 - 05:18pm PT
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Thanks survival. You know how we feel about beavers up here.
Kinda like why those guys call themselves Nickleback.
Cozzy will attest that when he signed his Canuck papers a few years back they made him promise to always apologise right away, line up quietly, say thanks even to ATMs, save queens and be nice to beavers at every opportunity.
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MH2
climber
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Mar 27, 2010 - 07:58pm PT
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Obviously there is much about Canada to be impressed by.
What impressed me most, after moving to Toronto in 1987, after many big-city years in the US, was the little old lady getting off a street car, walking up to the driver's window of a car that had impolitely pulled into the lane reserved for pedestrians, rapping on the window and telling the driver not to do that, again.
And she didn't get punched or shot.
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KyleO
Ice climber
Calgary, AB
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Mar 27, 2010 - 09:05pm PT
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Alberta, alberta
Where you been so long?
Alberta, alberta
Where you been so long?
Aint had no loving
Since youve been gone
Alberta, alberta
Whered you stay last night?
Alberta, alberta
Whered you stay last night?
Come home this morning
Clothes don't fit you right
Big Rock
Mt. Wilson, Banff National Park
Back of the Lake
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Hawkeye
climber
State of Mine
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Mar 28, 2010 - 12:53pm PT
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wow skipt. your intelligence is shining through like a big red hemmoroid....
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Hey hosers, ya gotchya a new world record, eh? Way to go! :-)
World's biggest beaver dam discovered in northern Canada
OTTAWA (AFP) – A Canadian ecologist has discovered the world's largest beaver dam in a remote area of northern Alberta, an animal-made structure so large it is visible from space.
Researcher Jean Thie said Wednesday he used satellite imagery and Google Earth software to locate the dam, which is about 850 metres (2,800 feet) long on the southern edge of Wood Buffalo National Park.
Average beaver dams in Canada are 10 to 100 metres long, and only rarely do they reach 500 metres.
First discovered in October 2007, the gigantic dam is located in a virtually inaccessible part of the park south of Lac Claire, about 190 kilometres (120 miles) northeast of Fort McMurray.
Construction of the dam likely started in the mid-1970s, said Thie, who made his discovery quite by accident while tracking melting permafrost in Canada's far north...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20100505/sc_afp/canadascienceenvironmentanimalbeaver
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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My usual flood nay torrent of witticims, sadly stopped, corked, stymied, scuppered, set adrift on the tidal current of Tami's wit.
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