CAMNOTCLIMB
Trad climber
novato ca
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Jaybro,
It is time to create the Gear Thief size of Hardman,s rat catcher.
Good luck on on all the crap that follows a theft.
Brian
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can't say
Social climber
Pasadena CA
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A brief trip down memory lane. A story of missed oppotunities and moral fiber. Russ or any other old dude who was around at the time please feel free to correct any errors.
Back in the early 80s, some friends were fixing on a route on the right side El Cap. After hauling their bags up a couple of pitches, they rap down and head for the bar. On their way down they pass a guy we had named Luke the Fluke. He was a known shaky character who rumor had it, was responsible for rather unseemly attitudes toward the ownership of private property, other people's private property that is.
So after passing him on their way down, they skirt off into the trees and do a covert ops on his ass. Bottom line is they catch him red-handed with some of their gear they had left at the top of their ropes. Totally pissed, they do a citizens arrest and escort him down the talus below the Zodiac. They turn him into the rangers and let the legal system take it's course.
What I find amazing about this story is that everyone whoever gets their gear jacked moans and groans about what they would do if they ever caught someone stealing their stuff. You know the usual knuckle/sidewalk sandwich combo, along with most any other vile, torturous act they can conjure up.
So here's our hero's, dirtbag, C4 types all, and they leave him totally unscathed. Not a trip in the talus for old Luke, no shiner, they didn't even give him a snuggy to remind him of who's gear he had been jacking.
So, what would you have done given the same situation, had you caught someone red-handed jacking your sh-it?
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can't say
Social climber
Pasadena CA
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Jeff, ain't that the truth. Sort of like what Psycho Kenny got into.
Granny, is that you???
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WBraun
climber
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Can't say
I remember that incident all to well, that guy actually jugged their lines and was stealinging their gear. That Luke guy was casing my van once in the Toulmne SAR site also, looking in my windows. We ran him out of there. One day the rangers came around and asked if we have seen him and to be on the lookout for the worm. They caught him somewhere down by bakersfield I heard with his grandmother in the trunk on his way to the Valley to dispose of the body? There had been an all state APB out for him.
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Russ Walling
Social climber
THIS SPACE FOR RENT
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It is all muddy in my brain, but to the best of my knowledge:
Luke the Fluke, Granny in trunk, aka Luke Skywalker, line jugger, gear thief. All true.
Ken the psycho, psycho, got killed on the Peanut in Eldo when his rope cut at his waist. Cops were in the parking area looking for him in Eldo as he was wanted for killing a guy in the Buttermilk while bouldering. Shallow grave.
Bullwinkle caught a thief in camp 4.... can't remember the guys name, but he got thumped and litterally dragged through the mud all the way to the cops.
Fight at the base of the Zodiac... Yo hammer used on a guys back. They ended up throwing rocks at Ken the Psycho to keep him back. The guy who got hit with the hammer I can't remember his name, but it starts with an F?? Finnegan? Flarety? Fogerty? Anyway, it was all over fixed lines and gear at the top of the lines and bailing partners.
How does any of this tie into me?
Well..... Luke the Fluke lived out by us sheep buggerers with his Granny, and we have given him rides to and from the crags before. Mistake I tell you. I also went with Dick Cilley and Luke to do an FA in Josh (Cilleys masterpiece The Living Conjunction) and Luke was to bring the gear. He had it all sewn into his sport coat..... we did not have nearly enough. All my rack was in camp, hidden.... Luke goes back early to get more gear. When we all get back, all my rack is gone.... all of it. I think Sewellymon had a climbing class with Luke in it and Karl with a K!!! unreal!!!! Anyway, I get a call from the cops in Yosemite... seems that Luke had a ton of gear and I quote "wanted to be the best climber in the world..." In the stash was my entire rack. Got it back!!!! Mark your gear peoples!!!
Next nutcase: Ken the Psycho is hangin out at JT, as we all were.... He has already told a few people that he will kill them if they touch his car..... we might have been a bit tipsy, but we used to pee on the fender and sit on his car to get rise out of him. Anyway... all my rack goes missing again from camp. Weeks pass and I see Psycho Kenny climbing with one of my biners on his rack. Keen eye here boys.... so I confront him... he says some BS about how he found it etc... no way.... so I go back to his camp when he finishes climbing with a biner chain as a weapon..... he freaks and hops in his car and blow outta there for town... the cops are doing the loop so I send JT's finest to chase him down. They nab his ass and he sings like a canary... some guy he is staying with in town has a mountain of gear in his livingroom... all stolen from JT. I get all my rack back. After this is when he allegedly killed some dude in the Buttermilk.
Moral: always mark your gear and always file a report with the Tool-deJour™™™™ I've got two full racks returned to me. this way
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loads
Trad climber
Phoenix AZ.
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This one's a little strange...
At J.T. 15 years ago or so I was talking with my friend DE ...I had just finished climbing for the day and was sorting gear when he anounced to me that some of my stuff looked a little familiar.
Knowing I would never steal from him asked me where said stuff came from...I told him I had seen an add for a gear sale on a message board at my local REI in Orange County and bought it from a guy in Costa Mesa Ca.....Well I guess I inadvertently busted this guy because DE and Todd being very suspicious also answered the add and busted this guy with tons of stolen gear.
Seems as though he had broken into Todds house in JT and had gear and books along with stuff that belonged to DE....
DE just recently informed me it was known as the Famous Louie Case.....Glad I could help guys........
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the Fet
Trad climber
Loomis, CA
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Aaron, not the new Tacoma? Time to look for a new one that's not black I suppose.
I always wanted to set my car up with the "mission impossible" setup. Someone breaks in and a cloud of gas is released, then the tape deck starts and states "you have been contaminated with a deadly nerve gas, your insides will turn to mush and you will die a painful, horrifying death unless you turn yourself into the police and have them contact me for the antidote" Of course the gas would be inert, but it would be fun to make them crap their pants.
My dad said they used to solder razor blades to the back of their radios so if someone tried to pull it out they'd leave their fingertips on the floorboard and look like the guy in Road Warrior who tried to catch the razor boomerang.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Mind you this is just a rumor I heard over a campfire from an aquaintance of a friend's partner,but....
It seems that there had been a series of brazen gear thefts that also seemed to happen just before a rise in both lifestyle and climbing ambitions in a certain shady dirtbag who had suddenly moved from rehearsed sport climbs to unrehearsed fiascos on moderate trad routes.
Said fiascos were also occasioned by copious gear abandonment some of which looked very familiar to another climber upon bootyment.
Long story greatly shortened;
Our dirtbag made his final appearance in the climbing world in Accidents in North American Mountaineering.
Gear failure? Possible rockfall. Inconclusive yada yada.
Using someone else's gear is always bad. Geez you never know WHAT they've done with it.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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By the way Russ, I already have the TM on "bootyment".
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Russ Walling
Social climber
THIS SPACE FOR RENT
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I still get Tool-duJour™™™™ though, right??
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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You bet, plus we're sharing several like, "Milking the nOObs".
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Gary
climber
Desolation Basin, Calif.
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Piton Ron,
I don't think your story is anything to be proud of. Last I checked thievery is not a capital offense. Don't forget, fattrad and Jody read these postings.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Gary I don't think your mockery of Socrates is anything to be proud of but that is something that you ACTUALLY DID.
Why should I be proud of hearing a rumor?
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LEB
climber
Glen Gardner
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Akutzer,
Glad you are OK! That was certainly close. Everytime I go up or down a mountain road, I always think "I wonder if those barracades on the side do any good." They always look so flimsy. I guess, however, they *do* perform as they are intended.
It is so easy to fall asleep. Sometimes when I am very tired or sleepy, I sing to stay awake - luckily no one hears me.
Lois
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Jaybro
Social climber
The West
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 1, 2005 - 04:39pm PT
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Ak-the grade going up to the Mono lake overlook (ontop of which KTHX™ returns)? Man!
Camnot-i'm pictu-ing a trailer with a dead human logo and oversize jumper cables reaching out to the tow car.
LEB how embarassing would it be to hear a recording of all we, say, sing, exclaim or admonish when we're in our car alone?
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LEB
climber
Glen Gardner
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Jaybro,
Indeed, you are quite correct. It would be most distressing. Sometimes I find that we "think out loud" when driving alone. We do say some strange things when driving alone. It is a great time to think and work things out esp on long drives along the interstate which don't require much cocncentration.
It is also a great time to listen to satillite radio. I have become quite emamoured of it. It seems like quite a bit a value for not all that much money
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WBraun
climber
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I agree LEB I love driving especially long distances, you can think forever in the car while driving.
Then when I get to Los Angeles I like to think about all the different ways to torture the guy that just cut me off. :-)
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LEB
climber
Glen Gardner
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Werner,
Cutting me off does not esp bother me providing that they are moving fast enough such that I don't risk rear-ending them. It is a minor annoyance. What is a *major* annoyance to me is when you are in a tight spot because you are in heavy traffic and lane you are in ending thus requiring that you merge left (or right). Then, while you are trying to merge, the car(s) behind you in that lane you need to enter speed up so as to not allow you in. How totally piggish! They can see perfectly well that you need to move over because the lane is ending.
I don't know how commonly this phenomenon occurs is in other states but it is an everyday event in NY and NJ. I have heard that other areas of the country are not as obnoxious when it comes to driving. The corollary to offense is when you are signalling need to merge into the middle lane (from the right) and someone from the left lane comes over to prevent you from doing so.
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426
Sport climber
Screamersville, VA
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During the rash of incidents in which a car thief was jackin by kiping the keys out of climber's packs ...(this still happenin?)
My friend Big Lar was soloing TT, he was on the ledge on P1, noodlin the anchor. He leaned back to see the pirate rifle through his pack. Lar yells at the guy, who glances up and starts runnin' down the talus.
Big Lar starts hooking up his rap device and screams, "I'll be down there BEFORE YOU!"
The guy, without breaking stride, tosses Lar's keys into the talus. It took Lar like 3 hours to find his keys...
Fish: "Tool-Du-Jour™"- that's a keeper.
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Hardman Knott
Gym climber
Straight Outta Squamton
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Werner –– if you don't mind my asking...
Why in God's name are you going to LA?
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