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Spider Savage
Mountain climber
The shaggy fringe of Los Angeles
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Feb 14, 2013 - 03:07pm PT
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Feb 14, 2013 - 03:36pm PT
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Don't go bacon my heart.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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'Bacon' served three ways Saturday night by Chef Alexandre at le local bistro.
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Bill Mc Kirgan
Trad climber
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
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Apr 18, 2013 - 12:03am PT
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Ummmmm.....noms. What's not to love?
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Captain...or Skully
climber
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Apr 18, 2013 - 12:09am PT
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Meh. If it kills me, then I'll be dead.
Simple.
You wanna live forever?
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guido
Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
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Apr 18, 2013 - 12:32am PT
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G Zeus
Trad climber
Tucson, AZ
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Apr 18, 2013 - 12:44am PT
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G Zeus
Trad climber
Tucson, AZ
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Apr 18, 2013 - 12:48am PT
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Norwegian
Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
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Aug 22, 2014 - 08:04am PT
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i like bacon
and then i like to wash the
pan with a cloth
and then i reserve that
cloth, with which
i was my face
and, yes.
this is the key to
exceptional complexion.
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NutAgain!
Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
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Aug 22, 2014 - 10:50am PT
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Bacon, eggs, spaghetti, parmigiano reggiano cheese, and a stick of butter in a blender: "Carbonara Bars" are the perfect winter-weather savory meal on the go. Flexy and chewy even in freezing temps, and tasty as all get-out.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
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my third grader's class recently attended a 3-day field trip to Full Belly Farm near Dixon, California.
the teacher asked me to chaperon.
"of course i will," i countered to my friend.
so we load up the tacoma to the brim and me and a mamma
and two chilln's in the back seat diesel on
down to beautiful Capay Valley.
we set up camp in a meadow on the edge of
struggling-with-the-drought cache creek.
pleasant digs, to say the least.
a couple of things:
one.
like any heartful mountaineer, i begin scoping routes
on the nearby semi-dramatic hills.
and i spy my line. i wait for my opportunity window....
two.
so just adjacent to camp (like 100' away) are two sows (female pigs,) one called cookie - she all of 800 pounds, and the other, littler one's name escapes me.
now i'm a mountain boy and i got very little idea when it comes to farming and such, so i'm drawn to these interesting beasts like edison was drawn to lightening.
many times during camp set up, i'd wander over to the 2' high electric fence, usually with some students or other chaperons and watch and wonder at the pigs.
this one super hot momma, we'll call sally, says to me,
"i feel guilty. i can't help but see food when i look at the pigs. all other animals i see as, animals."
"so you are objectifying them, no?" i say to her breasts.
then i justify her bias, "sally. bacon is good. really good. you could even have it on top of your birthday cake."
she smiles the first glittering one at me.
about 2pm the first day, a rig pulls into camp
towing a trailer.
it backs up to the pig pen and out rolls romeo.
really, a magnificent male pig dubbed romeo.
he goes immediately to sinking his sword into
stone.
me and sally are watching this boar make pig love
to an 800 pound momma.
little milo (a small boy stundent) is wide-eyed
at the spectacle. me and sally, we giggle.
"wow." she utters.
of course milo has heaps-o'-questions regarding the
dramatic scene before us.
i answer the best i can: brazenly honest, to all of his inquiries.
i turn to sally, "this is about as intimate as we can get,
without actually getting intimate!"
"look at his stamina," i continue.
"look at her patience," she replies.
"porkys two, i laugh."
now the momma pig is not quiet in receiving excalibur.
it so happens that milo's father is also attending this field trip,
and when he spies his son two feet away from fornicating large farm animals he goes ape-scat and screams his son off.
"never too early for the birds and bees," i suggest to sally.
we all bed down that night at 7 pm, and i'm jonesin for a beer.
but of course alcohol is not permitted.
2 am. i shoot awake, as is my habit.
i sneak out of the tent (i've got 3-boys in my dwelling, with one other dad.)
what to do, i muse? so i wander about and admire stars
as they present to california's central valley. they look
slightly different that they do when viewed from the sierra crest.
everything is really beautiful. slight moon...
then suddenly my moment is interrupted by a teriffic squeal
and some thundering grunts...
so i head over to the sty.
for a gander.
but i stop by my tail gate
and grab two tall boys and a camp chair.
'im going in!' i don't say but think....
so i set up my seat in the middle of the sty
and crack open the morning.
i've no idea what to expect, but i'm enjoying the rush of the unknown.
first, cookie snuffles over.
these things are all nose.
she's snouting my
boots and my camp chair, and takes a nibble at my sleeve.
i gently giver my bony elbow and she backs off.
now the other two are en route and suddenly
i'm completely surrounded by huge pigs.
sipping scenic mind soup, i'm elated.
the moon is out, the pigs are about.
and the morning is abundant and all ours: the pigs and i.
oh, and adolf.
i finish my two canisters and now the sun is earning
the first rung on it's career ladder.
i head over and start the fire,
and soon after, kiddo's abound.
now throughout the day, the students
are engaged in farm activities, and the parents
are free to recreate.
i see my window.
i un-boot and roll up my pants
and walk across cache creek
and hump my way up to
'no-belief knoll,'
named such because on top resides
a beautiful blue oak with
noble leafs.
i gotta jump like 3 barbed-fences,
definitely the crux of the ascent.
two hours later i'm headed back to camp
on the valley floor.
i loose my way, slightly and
approach the creek at a different spot.
there are thickets and cat-tails and many
other ambitious aquatic plants in my way.
i give up on grace and just burl my way through.
at river's edge, i literally fall out
of a wall of plants and get slightly wet.
just across the creek is sally,
reading her book.
"swamp donkey," she yells to me with
another shiny smile.
i present her my espresso-stained-teeth
in a return salutation.
i wander over to the fire and mill about
with the other dads.
the children are still away, for another hour.
one inquires to where i've been?
"oh, up there. on 'no-belief knoll.'"
"no shite?" responds the district attorney of el dorado county."
"yes sir." i retort, respectfully.
"i had to jump a few fences," i naively offer.
"as your lawyer i suggest no further mention of the fences," says bill.
all the dads laugh.
now i've got a pink rock in my pocket that i collected for Makalu.
so i go over to her tent, with intent to put it beneath her pillow.
i unzip the tent, and there is sally, with her blouse slightly loose
and she is laying upon Maki's pillow...
... then next morning i repeat my pig affair,
and as i'm sitting there, i notice a silhouette of
a new character, outside of the fence.
pig number 4, i assign it a handle.
what the? so i set down my beer
and cookie immediately snouts up to it.
i scold her as i grab it from disaster,
and offer her a little beer puddle in my
empty chair.
she loves it.
i approach the other pig, that i assumed was
an escaped domestic, but instead it was
a wild boar, and it snorts and charges me,
glances off my right knee as i dart from his path.
i roll with the insult and begin stomping and
crackling my beer can and the f*#ker limps away
into the woods.
i assume that cookie got slaughtered so
maybe the next piece of bacon that you enjoy
will have a slight tint of adolf coors'
secret herbal-spice.
enjoy and hear sally squeal.
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
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The self-avowed vegetarian, mau'ing down on sausage and bacon.
She's going to blame it on that thing she used to have on her leg....
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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BURP! I mean BUMP!
^^^That's some cupcake, Pete!
("hear sally squeal")
Bacon adds a tasty twist to sweet cinnamon rolls.
Sounds delish, CC.
[Click to View YouTube Video]Burn it to a crisp...
Voila! It's still bacon!
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Spider Savage
Mountain climber
The shaggy fringe of Los Angeles
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If you go climbing out at Devil's Punchbowl (LA County), be sure to stop at Charlie Brown Farms nut stand. The place is epic and they have a huge selection of bacon products.
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