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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Sep 17, 2008 - 01:11am PT
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Boris, look out for Moose Dresser and squirrely guy. Dey vant to be fearless leader.
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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 17, 2008 - 01:17am PT
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Palin supports second "bridge to nowhere" because, in this case, "nowhere" is Wasilia
by Sisyphus
Palin shows off her support for the 'bridge to nowhere' - before she was against it.Anchorage, Alaska -- Since her triumphant ascension to vice presidential nominee, recreational-wolf-hunter-turned-politician Sarah Palin has repeatedly boasted about her faux maverick decision to reject a federally funded, $400 million, pork barrel "bridge to nowhere" in 2007.
However, the project enjoyed the governor's enthusiastic support throughout 2006, before it had become a national sign of wasteful government spending
Now, a second leviathan bridge project – one that would link the largest city in Alaska with Palin's hometown of Wasilia – is being heartily endorsed by Palin, even against the backdrop of running mate John McCain's vehement, drumbeat opposition to earmarks.
At a price tag of $600 million, the bridge-and-highway project, aimed at improving the transportation infrastructure for the town's 7,000 residents, averages out to a cost of about $86,000 per person.
Final go-ahead for the pork-laden project was made possible by earmark legislation drafted by Republican Rep. Don Young.
"This is pure, unadulterated pork," declared Uncorked Bust, a McCain spokesman, before he realized that the pet project had the governor's blessing. "I mean, the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge only cost about $350 million, and it serves what, 9 million people?"
At press time, Bust, fearing reprisals from the Palin camp, was desperately seeking a retraction of his comments and requesting extra security details to be provided to John McCain.
"This is not another bridge to nowhere," insisted Palin spokeswoman Amoral Malice. "Because if it is, that means you're comparing Wasilia to nowhere, and I don't think you want to do that. You've already compared the governor to a pig, and you see where that got you, don't you?"
It was not clear who Malice was addressing.
Adding to the controversy are reports that the bridge could ultimately drive the extinction of the Beluga whale. But the governor has already proposed a solution to that.
"We can preempt that problem by declaring open season on the irrelevant little critters," said Palin to enthusiastic applause at a local cannery.
"Well, I guess they're not so little, which makes them that much easier to hit from a helicopter! After all, if this evolution thingy everyone is talking about is so real, then we're just playing the role of natural selection."
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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 17, 2008 - 05:12am PT
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OINK
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Sep 17, 2008 - 08:58am PT
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It's just so cool to have a repugncant come right out and say what they really feel deep down inside-- that those critters are irrelevant and don't matter, so, let's just kill em all.
Sort of like, manifast destiny and killing the American indians.
OR putting the working class into the poor house (after you trick em into voting for you of course).
I like that Palin-- she'd make a fantastic Grand Inquisitor!
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noshoesnoshirt
climber
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Sep 21, 2008 - 08:34pm PT
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Hey Dirt, you do realize that article is satire, eh?
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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 22, 2008 - 09:45am PT
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McSame and the Pale one will be lying through their teeth from now til November.
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Trusty Rusty
Social climber
Tahoe area
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Sep 26, 2008 - 05:43am PT
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Drive blade from anus to neck. Climb inside cage and sever lung muscle from skull. Flip bitch and release anal tube from butt. Exit rib cage and have sex. Weeks later clear gut cavity with lawn tool. Beat corpse with dead Poulan chain saw and turn dog team loose on the carcass.
Moose dress Alaska style.
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