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Messages 1 - 101 of total 101 in this topic
HighDesertDJ

Trad climber
Arid-zona
Jul 22, 2008 - 09:55pm PT
Some crackers get real cranky about their TP I guess.
L

climber
Far off places where I left lipstick traces...
Jul 22, 2008 - 10:03pm PT
Erik,

That was hysterical! You hardly knew the guy and you two "broke up"!
happiegrrrl

Trad climber
New York, NY
Jul 22, 2008 - 10:34pm PT
A good story, well told. At least you got that out of the day!
Dwain

Trad climber
Apple Valley, California
Jul 22, 2008 - 11:03pm PT
I'll climb with you MisterE.
I WILL bring my OWN TP, amd ALL my Lockers!!!

Double D

climber
Jul 22, 2008 - 11:26pm PT
Now that was funny, way funny.
mark miller

Social climber
Reno
Jul 22, 2008 - 11:53pm PT
Yo E,( wow grammer, a comma) you can take the "Bitch" outta the park but you can't take the park outta the "bitch" .... More Lockers and 1/2"er's on everything....( phucking C#&%....))) Stop showin' us pitch's with your "freind" undressed.......My elbow already hurts....Love and kisses bro.
GDavis

Trad climber
SoCal
Jul 23, 2008 - 12:51am PT
I see these clowns all over the place.


Not really sure if they know what the adventure aspect of climbing is about.

Gym type stuff.
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Jul 23, 2008 - 08:13am PT
MrE

Sounds like the date from hell! Did you untie while he
rapped from those 1/4"ers? I sure hope so!

See ya at Facelift--are you gonna bring Tigger?
Dr. Rock

Ice climber
Castle Rock
Jul 23, 2008 - 08:32am PT
I was half way through that story when all of a sudden I had to take a big sh#t.
Anastasia

climber
Not there
Jul 23, 2008 - 08:50am PT
Send the boy some diapers as a thank you gift!
Dr. Rock, you shouldn't be taking breaks from ST. Dang it man, this is important!
AF




MisterE

Social climber
My Inner Nut
Jul 23, 2008 - 10:06am PT
LOL, Dwain! Glad you're tied in! Now do the route you're geared up for:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U0tDU37q2M
Prod

Social climber
Charlevoix, MI
Jul 23, 2008 - 10:14am PT
Good one E.

Prod.
Roman

Trad climber
Boston
Jul 23, 2008 - 10:30am PT
Awesome story. His choice of a manky ass anchor on the way down is by far the capstone. I truly can't imagine how livid you must've been when you saw those gleaming metolius rap rings! LOL!
Moof

Big Wall climber
A cube at my soul sucking job in Oregon
Jul 23, 2008 - 11:37am PT
I don't know about your specifics, but I had to deal with noob partner rapping to a bogus anchor (two 1/4" ones with ~15" rust beards), with the proper anchor being higher and on the other side of a modest arete (slightly out of view, but come on!).

I swung over to let him grab the "pull tail", and made the dumbass clip into the end with a locker. I then got to my anchor and pulled and re-threaded it through the "real anchor, temporarily clove hitching his strand to fix it. He had to take a small "ride" to get plumb, and then single strand rapped to the ground.
Gunkie

climber
East Coast US
Jul 23, 2008 - 12:44pm PT
Doesn't everyone have a story like this?

I had one guy run off to take a crap while I was runout on 5.9 terrain in the Gunks. Fortunately, he tied me off with enough slack so I could rope-solo to a stance or hit the ground, whichever came first. I made the stance as I ran out of rope.

I had another guy belay me up a 5.11 pitch @ Skytop [before the place closed]. When I reached his stance I saw that he was belaying me with a munter hitch on a non-locking carabiner. And then I watch the munter hitch unclip itself. the pitch was only 60' long. It's not like he couldn't lower an end of the rope to get decent belay gear. I would have been happier with a waist belay, which I've both caught and been caught on lead falls with.

The guy in the above situation [munter hitch] also setup a hanging belay off a 1/4" bolt on P5 of the Freeblast becasue he had a lot of rope drag. It's the one off left after the overlap. I, unknowingly, happily jugged up thinking that I would get to a decent belay. Then we're both hanging off this 1/4" manker! I actually took pictures of this belay setup so the rangers would be able to figure out what happened, not that it would have been difficult, and notify our families on exactly how dumb we were. I don't know how we survived this. And I'm kind of surprised that he's still alive. Needless to say, I've stopped climbing with him.


tolman_paul

Trad climber
Anchorage, AK
Jul 23, 2008 - 12:51pm PT
Great story!

I guess I've been fortunate with partners, that and there is something to be said for soloing.
mtnkid85

Trad climber
Montucky
Jul 23, 2008 - 02:33pm PT
Im sure you guys have seen the "Epic Mike" story that was on the climbing websites a few months ago, Its a pretty good laugh.
Found via google.

http://cushman.net/2007/06/05/climbing-encounters-of-the-third-kind/
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Jul 23, 2008 - 02:46pm PT
Hi Eric,
yeah, pretty questionable what we will do; putting our lives in stranger's hands just to get high.


Once Bjornstad sent this wall nOOb out to me who wanted to do Prodigal. He couldn't lead any aid yet, but except for the last aid pitch could jug OK and only dropped about 6 pieces cleaning.
With the final 5.7 chimney above us he is whining about wanting to lead.
I finally relented but told him explicitly to go 80' to the belay bolts and no farther or we won't be able to communicate and that carrying all the gear I WAS GOING TO JUG.
He questioned this but I confirmed that I didn't want to chimney with a pack and all the gear and had already done the pitch 10 times so he should fix the rope.

Sooooo, .. 80' of rope goes out.
Then more.
Then more.

I yell up he is going to far.


Rocks come down.
Muffled yells.

I yell back DON'T GO FARTHER. BELAY!!


Muffled yells.
More rope goes out.

Muffled yells.
More rocks.

About a half hour after all the rope is out (and he doesn't seem to want to give any back besides muffled yells) I just start to jug.

When I get to the edge he sees me and says that HE CAN'T HOLD ME MUCH LONGER!!!!!


Turns out he decided that if a pitch went free then despite our specific agreement a second was not allowed to jug and was obligated to free it, so he had me on a (poor) belay and had thought I fell but was having trouble holding me and was about to let go.


Good thing I wasn't strapped or I'd have put him out of my misery after clipping in.

(anybody do a wall with this guy?)
dirtineye

Trad climber
the south
Jul 23, 2008 - 02:59pm PT
good grief ronbo, that sucks.
up2top

Big Wall climber
Phoenix, AZ
Jul 23, 2008 - 04:26pm PT
Absolutely friggin hilarious, MrE.

Ron, I hope that's the closest you've ever come to meeting your maker, because that story made my palms sweat. You really should go back and free that last pitch some day...oh, wait...you're familiar with the route already.

Ed
Matt

Trad climber
primordial soup
Jul 23, 2008 - 08:15pm PT
great story eric
(when do i get to take a dump and use your TP?)
Lynne Leichtfuss

Social climber
valley center, ca
Jul 23, 2008 - 10:38pm PT
Ok, different take....

Going on a 30 day climbing trek across the western states from CA to Canada east as far as Wyo. Two vehicles, 3 adults, 4 young adults. Fab....until hubbies new climb partner for trip starts hitting on our two teen daughters.


No prob.


I killed him.

Smiles, Lynnie
Jordan Ramey

Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
Jul 23, 2008 - 11:56pm PT
Here's a write up a friend of mine did from one of our first trips to the valley. We were supposed to climb washington column with this professional videographer who wanted to shoot film for a film festival and said we'd get free professional climbing photography. I said "sign me up". He paid to have my friend flown out from oklahoma and well, the rest is below. An epic weekend to say the least.... We have not climbed together since........ But a great story came out at least. Names have been changed to protect the guilty. Oh, and this is the PC version of the write-up, which excludes all the trail pooping episodes (oh well).... Enjoy





Yosemite, May 2007

Well, the trip to Yosemite was great, although it did not go as planned. The plan was that we (Jordan and I) where supposed to meet Big Wall Todd (a guy hired by Yosemite to do some video work for them) and climb Washington Column while he took video of the climb. Big Wall Todd had stated that he was 5.10a/b climber and knew how to jug (ascend a rope using mechanical ascenders and aiders). To get someone up a wall, one only needs to know how to jug. Being a 5.10 climber is helpful, but not required for success as long as you have a leader that can continually fix ropes on the way up. The plan was that Jordan and I would fix ropes for Big Wall Todd, then lower off them and let Big Wall Todd jug them to wherever he wanted to take video from. Then Jordan and I would re-lead some pitches to get top down video and such. Of course, we would take some video of Big Wall Todd. Anyway, that was the plan.

On Wednesday May 9th, I went into work at 5 am so I could get my 8 hours of work in before flying out at 6:30 pm from Oklahoma City. The flight was uneventful the fact I have a phobia for flying. Anyway, I arrived in LA (after a layover in Denver) at around 10:15. Jordan picks me up and we head off to his and Kelly's (his fiancée) apartment in Pasadena. We have a few drinks, sleep 2 hours, and leave for Yosemite at 2 am.

The drive up to Yosemite is uneventful, as it is dark most of way. Jordan dives 2/3 of the way there, and I drive the rest of the way. We both get a little sleep (me a little more than Jordan). Upon entering the park, the sun is rising just in time to light up the spectacular sight of El Cap, Yosemite Falls, Half Dome, and the rest of the Valley. Of all the places I have been, I can think of no other more awesome site for a rock climber than the 3000 ft vertical to overhanging rock that is El Cap. It is my one of my life goals to climb it in the near future (it beat me once already), but not on this trip. It looks to be another beautiful day in the valley.

Since Jordan and I are a little early, (we are supposed to meet Big Wall Todd in cafeteria at the park at 8:00 am) we eat breakfast while waiting for Big Wall Todd to arrive. Big Wall Todd had sent us a climbing pic of him and said he would be bringing a lab top computer with him. At around 8:30, a little guy holding a lab top walks in door followed by another guy who looks like a park official. I recognize the little guy to be Big Wall Todd and waive him over. We introduce ourselves to Big Wall Todd and the Park Official who turns out to be the Director of Safety for Yosemite. They, Big Wall Todd and Random Park Official (the Director of Safety) go get breakfast for themselves and return to eat with us. Most of the talk is about our plans for climbing Washington Column. Random Park Official also tells us about the first fatality of the year at Yosemite. A 40 something woman was hiking on Half Dome when she slipped on a slopping slab and slid down until she plummeted over a 700 ft cliff. However, he also told us that rock climbers are the least likely to be injured at Yosemite, a nice thing to know. Sometime during our exchange, Big Wall Todd has to use the restroom. Upon leaving, Random Park Official looks at Jordan and I sharply and tells us that Big Wall Todd is a slow climber (apparently Big Wall Todd and Random Park Official had climb together on occasion). We should have taken this to heart, but Jordan and I were in the mindset that Random Park Official meant Big Wall Todd was slow for a Yosemite climber. Seasoned Yosemite climbers are by far the boldest and best in the world climbing lightning fast and using little if any pro. Therefore, Jordan and I think Big Wall Todd will be right at our speed, maybe a little slower.

After breakfast, we move on to sort gear and pack haul bags in the Yosemite Lodge parking lot. With Yosemite falls is roaring from 2000 ft up and less than 1/2 mile away, it is great place to make final preparations. While Jordan and I are trying to minimize gear so we can have a lighter load, Big Wall Todd is constantly packing excess stuff, not a good sign. When wall climbing, you want just enough to be safe, but not to much such that it will make your approach to the cliff, and hauling the supplies up the wall, a nightmare. I concede and reluctantly pack more than I want to. After all, we have 2 1/2 days to climb a wall that would normally take 1 1/2 days.

After packing, we head to the Ahwahnee Hotel parking lot which is were we will park our car and start the approach to Washington Column, a 2-mile hike gaining 1500 feet in elevation. Random Park Official uses Big Wall Todd’s video camera to document the start of our approach, and then we head off. Shortly after starting, I make the decision to ditch Jordans and I’s portaledge to lighten my load from about 110 pounds to 90 pounds, and thus have more energy for climbing. While the portaledge would make for some good filming, it is not necessary for the wall we are climbing, as there are two good sleeping ledges on the way up the column.

Shortly after starting the approach, Jordan and I notice Big Wall Todd has fallen way behind. Jordan I find some good boulders to sit on and rest while waiting for Big Wall Todd to catch up. Not so bad, as resting occasionally is good for us, and gives me an opportunity to take in our surroundings. Once Big Wall Todd catches up, we take off again. Big Wall Todd falling behind would repeat itself throughout the approach such that Jordan and I had plenty of opportunity to rest on the way up. However, one time while waiting for Big Wall Todd to catch up, I noticed something dangling around Big Wall Todd’s feet. A closer look revealed object around his feet to be his harness (he had elected to put on before starting the approach). Hmmm..., I think, harnesses usually do not just fall off people. Anyway, we wait for him to put it back on, and then it is off again.

We finally reach the base of Washington Column South Face route at around 4 pm. We let Big Wall Todd lead the first 5.8 pitch. He does well, and Jordan and I quickly follow. We decided to fix the first three pitches before hauling. I lead pitch 2 (5.10 b) and pitch 3 (5.8) up to dinner ledge. Jordan quickly followed, and I took a few quick pics of him. Then we headed back down for the first pitch ledge.

During my leads and fixing, Big Wall Todd had descended the first pitch and prepped the haul bags for hauling. I set up a 3 to 1 pulley system to ease hauling and started hauling, while Jordan went below and assisted the bags up from below. After about 5 minutes of me hauling, Big Wall Todd offered to take over, and I obliged. About an hour later, the haul bags were on top of pitch one. I quickly dissembled the haul system and moved the bags over to the start of pitch two. Jordan jugged the fixed line and set the haul system on top of pitch 2. We agree that Big Wall Todd will jug the behind the haul bag and assist them up, while Jordan hauls. Then to my surprise, Big Wall Todd asks me, “How do I set up my ascenders and aiders to Jug”. I am stunned, after all, he was supposed to have jugged thousands of feet! Not a good sign! It has just turned dark, we are in a hurry to get the bags up to the pitch 3 ledge where we intend to sleep the night, and I am eager to get to bed since I have only had 4 hrs of sleep in the last 36 + hours. I set his jugging system up for him, and let him give it a go. He falls over, tries again, falls over, tries grapping the rope, struggles, and falls over again. Jordan is hollering down from the top of pitch two wondering what is going on, as he can’t see us in the dark below. Big Wall Todd’s futile attempt at jugging continues for 1 hr without moving one foot up the rope before I tell him to detach himself from the rope and go sit aside somewhere. I jug up to Jordan, and we have a little talk. I tell Jordan that we cannot bring him up, and that he now has become a serious liability to us. If either Jordan or I are hurt on the wall, it will become too difficult for either of us to watch after one injured climber and Big Wall Todd since he would not be able to assist in a rescue effort when he cannot jug. My decision is to call the climb, Jordan is still optimistic that he can teach Big Wall Todd to jug, It is now 11:00 pm. We decide to let Jordan try to teach him in the morning, and if Big Wall Todd can demonstrate an ability to send the rope in a reasonable amount of time in the morning, we will continue.

We rap down to the pitch one ledge, and tell Big Wall Todd of our plans. We make dinner, and Jordan and I drink some whisky. Big Wall Todd is indifferent, and asks if I will set up his portaledge. I told him that he could do it himself and that all he need to do was set up trad anchor to hang it. He tells me he does not know who to set up a trad anchor! What! I set up his ledge off to the side of the pitch one ledge and then proceed to clean and organize our bivy. Jordan has now been crashed asleep for an hour. Finally, at about 2 am Friday, I roll my sleeping bag out on the ledge, 6 inches from a 500 ft drop off and 2 foot from wall heading up pitch 2 which, o’ by the way, is crawling with thousands of ants marching in a trail. It is hard to fall asleep since I keep thinking I am going to wake up with thousands of ants crawling all over me (this wouldn’t have been the case if we could have proceeded to dinner ledge at the top of pitch three). But, for some reason, Jordan and I had decided we should sleep on the first pitch ledge to accompany Big Wall Todd.
6:00 am Friday morning, wake up, wake Jordan up, let Jordan try to wake Big Wall Todd wake. 2 hrs later, Big Wall Todd finally wakes up. Make breakfast, re-hydrated bacon and eggs, yum, yum. Jordan tries to teach Big Wall Todd how to jug for an hour. It is futile. Finally, Jordan sets him up with a frog style system, and Big Wall Todd finally gets off the ground, but is moving slower than an amoebae. It is decided either we must ditch Big Wall Todd, or call of the big wall route. We decided to call of the big wall route as Big Wall Todd has no where to go. Jordan goes up and cleans the upper pitches and retrieves the gear I left on top of pitch 3 while I end up having to take pics of Big Wall Todd sitting in his portaledge. He was adamant he has pics taken before taking the portaledge down. I finish packing the haul bags, and we descend first pitch to the fourth class ramp and proceed to hike out. Again, Jordan and I are constantly finding Big Wall Todd dragging way behind. Finally, we decided to sit and rest a while and let Big Wall Todd get a head of us away. Shortly after, we here Make making some ruckus about a rattlesnake sitting in the trial. Sweet! Jordan and I drop our haul bags and run to check it out. Sure enough, there is what looks to be a 10 year old rattler sitting on rock just next to the trail. I get video and a few pics of it before poking it away with one of Big Wall Todds hiking pools and we truck on. We reach the Merced River about an hour later and stop for break on its shore. The cool water is awesome to wash up. 15 minutes later, we are back at the car.

At the car, we decide to head over to the Royal Arches wall taking a free climbing rack and Big Wall Todd’s portaledge and sleeping gear. The idea is to find somewhere to sleep on the wall so we don’t have to pay camping fees our get a backcountry permit. (In Yosemite, the only free way to camp is to sleep on a wall). We decide we should do the Royal Arches route in the morning. In the mean time, I climb a 5.10c bolted mixed trad sport climb, only to find out that from the second bolt on, they are all crappy ¼ rusted bolts that might hold body weight. Scared out of my mind since retreat is not possible, I carefully and diligently continue on until I can finally place a cam up high. In doing so, I got my first onsite of a Yosemite 5.10. I then work my way over to some bolted anchors to my right and tie in on top a 5.11 sport climb. I belay Jordan up as a second, then lower him out, and set up a top rope. Then I cruise up the 5.11 for another on site on TR. I then fix the rope, set up a haul system, and then let Big Wall Todd practice jugging, hauling, and setting up is portaledge.

While waiting for Big Wall Todd, Jordan and I go scout out the Royal Arches route and talk to a German couple descending the route. From there description, it is great route and worth doing. It is 14 pitches of moderate climbing. It follows a watercourse on the wall for a while before heading strait up. However, every pitch ends at a nice stance, often with a tree that making for easy belays. Jordan and I decide that this is the best route to try where Big Wall Todd might have some chance of getting up. So, we head back down to find Big Wall Todd still struggling up the rope to anchor on his jummars. Jordan and I decide to leave Big Wall Todd there and go the Ahwahnee Hotel for Drink and dinner. That place is high class, and we felt a little outplace in our climbing cloths and dirt all over us. But, they let us in and we had a great Chicken Caesar Salad and some stiff Bourbon. 1 ½ hours later, we had back to the base of Royal Arches to find Big Wall Todd just starting to haul up his portaledge. We jummar up to him, give him some food, help him out a little, then go to our sleeping ledge to start drinking some more. Big Wall Todd needs help again, so I head over to him spend another hour or so giving him a hand before I finally get back to my ledge and drink some more with Jordan. It is now 2 am. Jordan, again, has crashed, or passed out from all the drinking, and I do the same. To finish Royal arches at reasonable hour on Saturday, I calculate we will have to start climbing at around 8 am. That means waking up at 6 am.

Saturday, 5:30 AM I am awoken by some climbers passing by. I get up and wake Jordan up, who says I should try and wake Big Wall Todd up first. I walk to end of ledge were I can see Big Wall Todd sleeping in his portaledge on the adjacent cliff. His portaledge is cocked sideways and it is hard to believe he did not fall out of it. Anyway, I start trying to wake him up by yelling at him. He peaks out from under his sleeping bag, says it is chilly and hides under the bag again. This goes on for 1 hr and 45 minutes. Finally, I get my jummers out, traverse the fixed line to his anchor station, and start shaking his portaledge. Finally, he gets moving about, and I am sure he won’t go back to sleep. Then, I go over to Jordan and find him puking his guts out. Guess we got a little to happy with the whisky the night before. However, he assures me he is good for climbing. It takes us another 2 hours to get ready to go, as I find myself taking down Big Wall Todd’s portaledge and packing everything w intend to leave at the base of climb. Climbing commences at 10:00 AM.

The climbing at the start is easy for me and I often find myself placing just 1 to 2 pieces of protection per pitch. Much of the first several pitches have long sections of 3rd and 4th class. However, I am constantly dragging Big Wall Todd as a second along. Jordan is tied into Big Wall Todd to speed the process along and constantly having to physically help Big Wall Todd up. In addition, the set up allows Jordan to effectively TR solo each pitch. As the climbing gets more technical, Big Wall Todd slows down, and it is taking longer. Keep in mind we have 14 pitches to do and then a long rappel down. As the way goes, the climbing gets stepper, yet there are only two pitches more difficult than 5.7 of which one, you have to go off route a little to do, of course I hit that pitch up. It was a perfect splitter crack going strait up the wall (my favorite pitch). Then we did a cool pendulum and 4th classed over a small waterfall before heading up the remaining four pitches. We topped out at 7:30 (Sweeeeeeettttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!) and started rappelling down at 8. No time to celebrate as we where already looking at rappelling in the dark. Again, Jordan and I were help up by our third, and it quickly turned dark on us slowing things down further. The rope got stuck in tree sticking out from the vertical cliff that took 1 hour to undo and required Jordan to detach the rope and precariously hang out on the breaking tree for while I managed the rope and set up the next rappel. He would later mention that his hang out was one of the freakiest things he did. Throughout the rappels, Big Wall Todd was becoming increasingly lethargic and loopy. It eventually got so bad (after the third rappel) that Jordan and I had to set up his rappel device for him on each rappel and clip him in when reached the next anchor station. Otherwise, we would have to wait 15 minutes or more for Big Wall Todd to do it himself, and pray he did not make a mistake. On the third to the last rappel, I missed an anchor station, partly because I thought the rope could reach the third class terrace below (it’s hard to tell when your only light is your head lamp), only to find out I was thirty feet short and had to re-ascend the rope part way without jummars. Ugggg. All said, it took 9 rappels and 8 hours get on horizontal ground again, time 4:00 am. My flight leaves from LAX in 12 hours.

After getting down, I grabbed as much of or gear (haul bags, portaledge, sleeping bags, climbing gear, etc) and ran toward the car to start sorting out gear while Jordan waited on Big Wall Todd to make his last rappel. It would take another 40 or so minutes for them to get back to the car. Apparently, Big Wall Todd was dazed, confused, and getting lost on short trial back to the car and Jordan had to retrieve him. One hour and 15 minutes passes before we are able to start heading out of the park and we still have to find Big Wall Todd a hotel in the first town outside Yosemite. Finally, we find Big Wall Todd a Hotel, drop him off and race off to LA. Thankfully, Jordan and his red bulls drove most of way. It takes 7 hours to get back to LA from the time we started leaving Yosemite. Time 11:30 AM.

I had just enough time to take a shower, go eat some good Mexican food with Jordan and Kelly, and watch about ½ of TV and chat, then off to the Air Port. I arrived in OKC at 11:10 PM Sunday night, got home at 12:00 AM Monday, finally got to sleep at 1:30 AM, and was at work Monday morning at 8:00 AM. I was very tired at work.

The trip was awesome, in spite of Big Wall Todd not being nearly as proficient of a climber he clamed to be and ending having to serve as guide for him. Overall, I lead 17 pitches. In addition, while not very difficult climbing, I did lead 14 pitches (approximately 1300 feet) in one day and Jordan effectively got to TR Soloed all the pitches. I led and on sited my first Yosemite 5.10 and TR on sited a 5.11. I mention that because the ratings there tend to be more difficult than anywhere else I have climbed. After all, the ratting system we use to judge the difficulty of a climb is the Yosemite decimal system. Jordan and I alone, probably could have gotten up the Royal Arches and back down all during the daylight. Yet, our third bogged us down severely. However, it turned out to be a good lesson in patience and excellent nighttime multi-pitch rappelling. In addition to the climbing, it is just awesome to be at Yosemite. The scenery is the best I have seen in US. One could never get board looking at all the granite cliffs, half dome, the snow capped peaks, waterfalls, trees, Merced River, and wild life.

As far as the Video goes, I am not sure what Big Wall Todd is going to do. We all took pics and Video with our camera’s, however, we were rushing Big Wall Todd so much after Washington Column that he had little time to whip out camcorder and stuff. I have made a cool 13-minute video from Jordan and mine cameras that contain the highlights of trip. I will try and it post soon.

Below is Post from Big Wall Todd that set in motion the whole trip.

Looking for partner to film an ascent of Washington Column or any other bigwall is Yosemite in 2-3 weeks.

I am a filmmaker and free-climber (10a/b) and I have always wanted to go to Yosemite and do a big wall, or at least a very long multipitch. I want to film the assent and make a nice short film of it to put on the web and maybe submit to a film festival.

I was asked to do some film and video consulting work for the park service so I’ll be taking 2 trips up there.

I have never been to Yosemite and don’t know any of the routes there, but have done many multipitch routes in Mexico (canyon Tajo), Australia, Nepal (Island Peak), and on Taquitz rock in Idlywild, California. I don’t have much experience doing aid, but have done lots of jugging (mostly in deep technical caves, and on mountaineering expeditions), but I am a quick study. I’ll probably do more filming and jugging then climbing.

I am hoping to find a partner or party to join so I can get a wall in during the 2 times I will be in Yosemite.

The dates are not set yet. The dates are actually quite flexible, so I can work them around any climbing opportunities.

I have jumars, a small haul bag, aiders, and some other gear. I can rent or maybe borrow port-a-ledge if needed.

Let me know if I can join any party doing a wall or if someone with Yosemite bigwall experience would be willing to be my partner to do a climb and make a film.

Thanx in advnce,

Big Wall Todd



The names and E-mail address have been changed to protect the guilty
cleo

Social climber
Berkeley, CA
Jul 24, 2008 - 01:53pm PT
oh, nightmares! i don't climb w/ people until i know them a little, and then we start small!
bvb

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Jul 24, 2008 - 01:59pm PT
eric, you promised me you would never mention my bowel problems. it was to be our little secret.

i feel so betrayed.
John Vawter

Social climber
San Diego
Jul 24, 2008 - 03:31pm PT
I doubt that Peterson and Robbins ever climbed together again.
divad

Trad climber
wmass
Jul 24, 2008 - 04:37pm PT
Amusing stories but it shouldn't discourage someone from looking for a partner on a climbing forum. I've had amazing luck and never had a partner that I wouldn't climb with again. Most have become partners and friends for life.
Ask the right questions, be honest, and bring your own TP.
Paulina

Trad climber
Jul 24, 2008 - 06:58pm PT
Great stories! I'm sure I've been on both ends of a dysfunctional rope-team before.

My first ever trip to Yosemite 5 years ago ended in me and long-time friend and partner saying "we'll never climb together again". Nothing as crazy as some of these stories; just generally incompatible attitudes (him very driven and suffering from "mission creep", me not willing to push my limits).

We're still great friends, although he lives across the continent from me; but we probably won't ever go on any even remotely serious climb together again. But we've had fun cragging together since.

Pretty much almost all of my climbing-board-pickup partners have been awesome, though!
Jordan Ramey

Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
Jul 24, 2008 - 07:33pm PT
I agree that you can indeed find good partners through various internet sources and I've found plenty. The guy I currently climb most with I found on mountainproject right after I moved to LA. BUT, there are always the special cases to be avoided and often it's hard to know until you actually get out with 'em. Oh well, makes for great stories.
Gunks Guy

Trad climber
Rhinebeck, NY
Jul 24, 2008 - 09:42pm PT
A few years back (actually, somtime in the mid 90’s – damn how time flies!) I spent 3 weeks in Yosemite Valley with some friends. The first week was going to be spent climbing with my friend Dave. We had come to the Valley together 3 or 4 times during the prior years and had always had a blast. For the final 2 weeks several other friends were planning to join us including Dave’s new, non-climber, girlfriend.

Well, as luck (or should I say Love) would have it, the two lovebirds couldn’t bear to be separated for the first week so I found myself for the first week of my climbing trip spending it listening to the sounds of young love (or should I say lust) emanating from the, oh so ever soundproof, walls of their nylon tent. Oh well, I might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but even I could tell that waiting on Dave to fulfill my climbing desires was a losing proposition. Thank god for the Camp 4 bulletin board.

Thanks to the board I did manage to get a few stellar climbs in and met some fine folks in the process. But still, there was a lot of down time and I was pretty frustrated, when along comes the California surfin dude, Dhuuude for short. Wild hair and that California Surfer Dhuuuude accent; he was up for anything.
I met The Dhuuuude because he wanted to borrow a pair of ascenders so he could hook up with some other guy to do a big wall. Cool thought I, a big wall climber and, like dhuuude, he was like totally solid on tens ya know. Yeee ha, I’d hit the jackpot!

I have a vague recollection that he wanted to run right over and speed climb the Nose or something like that. I had less lofty goals and suggested Central Pillar of Frenzy. I figured Central Pillar would be a good low stress intro for Dhuuude and I to get to know each other. He was stoked and I was psyched since he agreed to lead the first pitch which made me happy since it is my least favorite pitch on the climb. Plans were set.

Next day, Dhuuude starts up the first pitch. Pretty soon it becomes apparent that, well, maybe he isn't, like, ya know, totally solid on tens. Actually, it becomes pretty apparent that he isn't, like, ya know, totally solid on nines, or eights, or whatever. The first pitch goes at a well protected, albeit awkward nine. About 10 feet up he begins to mutter. Pretty soon the mutter turns to swearing, and then swearing to whining, and whining to whimpering.

He got his first piece of gear in at about eight feet up. By the time he'd made it to fifteen feet, he'd gotten another four pieces in and resorted to blatant hanging and pulling on the gear. And two or three hours or so later, he was at the belay. Good thing he brought that big wall rack with him.

When I got there the first words out of his mouth were a shrill: "I want to go down". Now normally, I'm a pretty understanding partner, but this guy passed himself of as some big, experienced climber and I'd turned down several other people after I'd told old Dhuuude that I'd go climbing with him. I knew if we went down now, my day was shot, so I was a little bit unhappy about the prospect of going down. After explaining that it was my lead and that all he would have to do would be to toprope the next pitch, he agreed to go on.

Let's just say that the second pitch wasn't much better for old Dhuuude than the first one was. The book calls it a nine, but it's pretty straightforward. Well, old Dhuuude fell, and hung, and called for tension all the way up. I kept him on a tight leash because I knew he was nervous, and frankly, I didn't want him bailing on me.

The belay station at the top of the second pitch was a pretty good stance, but since I was afraid of old Dhuuude bailing, I wanted him to be as comfy as possible when he got there. I shifted all the way to one side so that I was basically in a semi-hanging belay.

Now picture this, he has this pretty good two person stance all to himself, and there I am, hanging out on this shitty old rats nest of slings. Of course, as soon as he gets up, he wants out. I try to reason with him. I beg, I plead. I offer to lead all the pitches (pretty generous of me, huh?).

Pretty soon I realize that there’s no way he is going up so I relent to go down. No sooner do the words pass my lips when all of a sudden I see the flash of cold steel. A silver blade slashes through the air as Dhuuude starts sawing away at the webbing that is my only connection to this earth!

Of course I was perfectly reasonable with him as I explained the laws of physics, climbing etiquette, etc. to him. That was AFTER, I ripped him a new as#@&%e and shoved his head into it. But when I found out that the reason he was cutting the webbing that I was hanging on was to replace it because he didn't trust it to rappel on, I was much more understanding, NOT!

Well, the story has a happy ending……....I survived.

Actually, there is a little postscript. A couple of days later I was climbing with this Canadian dude up on Camp 4 Wall. He starts telling me how he's going to go do some big wall in a few days with some laid back California Dhuuude as soon as the Dhuuude can borrow some ascenders....


Jordan Ramey

Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
Jul 25, 2008 - 03:07pm PT
mtnkid85:

EPIC MIKE is BIG WALL TODD from my really long post above. I changed his name. I read the epic mike story yesterday and nearly crapped my pants i was laughing so hard. I can't believe that someone else got the same con job that me and my partner did.

To add to my post (or in summary):
He pooped in the royal arches creek 50 ft from the Ahwahnee

He pooped on the P1 ledge of South Face of Washing Column (grade V wall) 10 minutes before rappelling down

His harness fell off (more than once, we made him suspenders to prevent death)

Nipple ring fiascos

Could NOT jug a line after 3 hours of training

Was “solid on 5.10’s” yet fell repeatedly on the only 5.8 pitch he led

Would NOT wake up on time to start climbing

Got “lost” 50 ft from the ahwahnee for 30 minutes. We had to go rescue him.

Insisted we take copious pictures of him “big walling” in his portaledge

Ended up in the hospital after we took off due to “exhaustion” (he just got some fluids and they released him). Apparently having someone rappel you off royal arches is strenuous, especially while sleeping at belays.
dirtineye

Trad climber
the south
Jul 25, 2008 - 03:42pm PT
This is the best thread in a loooong time!!!


I think the reasons I don't have any stories like these are, 1) carefully sorting out new unknown partners at very short user friendly crags, and 2) being extremely lucky to usually run into great and experienced climbers who comprise the bulk of my partners.

But maybe Mr Noffsinger will tell why he decided to name me bear on our first climbing trip to the BSF, if he sees this. But I really can't figure how anyone can take hours and hours of training and trying and still not be able to jug or follow aid. I learned in about ten minutes on both, and it was free hanging out from under a roof aid too, LOL. Jeff gave me 5 minutes instruction before he led it, and then I was on my own, hehe. Maybe that's why I hate aid climbing so much. Thank god for Yates wall ladders. Thank god for Noffsinger. Long live Box Car Willies!


BTW, jugging and aid still suck, free climbing rules.
shwilly

Trad climber
vegas
Jul 25, 2008 - 03:43pm PT
does anyone have pics of bigwall epic todd? I just have to see him. also I want to know who to look out for.
wildone

climber
Where you want to be
Jul 25, 2008 - 04:04pm PT
Agreed. This thread is useless without pictures.
MisterE

Social climber
My Inner Nut
Jul 25, 2008 - 04:41pm PT
DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY!

DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FVCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS?

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY!
originalpmac

Trad climber
Jul 25, 2008 - 05:09pm PT
the OP makes me think of the Seinfeld where Jerry haas to "break up" with an old friend, way funny.
Jordan Ramey

Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
Jul 25, 2008 - 07:50pm PT
Alright, Alright.... pics are for pansies. Here's video of Epic Mike (AKA Big Wall Todd, Big Wall Mike)


reliving these moments has had me laughing for the last two days.... All the suffering was well worth it for the hilariousness we've gotten out of it!

edit: video's removed from post so as not to crush any egos.
Standing Strong

Trad climber
sunlight on the surf
Jul 25, 2008 - 07:55pm PT
that's in poor taste. granted, he should have been up and ready and the best partner he could be for you but...

big wall todd's email to you stated that he did not have a lot of aid experience.


what were you expecting?
Roman

Trad climber
Boston
Jul 25, 2008 - 07:56pm PT
OMG those are pure gold. "gotta hook?" ?!??! "gotta piton?!"
Roman

Trad climber
Boston
Jul 25, 2008 - 07:58pm PT
Why is it in poor taste? it is no less classy that nearly ruining two dudes trip to the valley pretending to be in physical condition for a wall if you ask me.
Jordan Ramey

Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
Jul 25, 2008 - 09:12pm PT
In regards to the poor taste.....

Well, I actually just wrote up a page long response, but decided that a few sentences would do much better. I hate flame fests on forums.

BWM was delusional about his abilities to the point of being very unsafe (harness falling off), completely misrepresented himself (5.10, you mean 5.6), wasted my friends vacation days to fly from oklahoma to california to be a "guide". He wasn't a newbie to stuff, but rather the kind of person that shouldn't be holding a belay device. This has been expressed by every partner of his that I've met.

And he doesn't lurk here so I'm not hurting his feelings.

So, poor taste... probably, but that's the price he's gonna pay for his actions.

edit: Standing... you're right, he said he didn't have a lot of aid experience, but he said he'd jugged thousands of feet. All we expected from him was the ability to jug, or at least the ability to learn to jug. I don't believe he'd ever held an ascender before we met.
up2top

Big Wall climber
Phoenix, AZ
Jul 25, 2008 - 09:26pm PT
SS, you are a big bag of sappy stupidity some times...

Ed
Standing Strong

Trad climber
sunlight on the surf
Jul 26, 2008 - 12:16am PT
jordan - thanks for the response. a little more info in your previous posts would have been helpful for people whose computers can't view the videos, or for people who are turned off by the idea of watching something just to laugh at someone.

just trying to be fair. sorry to hear you and your friend had that experience.


Nate Ricklin

climber
San Diego
Jul 26, 2008 - 12:52am PT
It's pretty clear to me that he said "quickdraw" and not "piton"... do you all hear "piton" ?

weird.

I feel kinda bad for the guy, with all his ineptitude on display for all to laugh at.
nature

climber
Santa Fe, NM
Jul 26, 2008 - 12:56am PT
I once met up with this guy that drives a white van that got converted into a stealth climbing rig. He'd follow me everywhere. Always at the sushi bar. Always eating all the fish. One time... oh... nevermind... that was my fault. Well, there was this other time at the Doctor's office and we ran out of wine and... oh, sh#t, I finished the bottle. Nevermind. anyway.... the guy in the white van with the cat. Watch out for that guy. I forgot why but I'm just sayin.... He'll follow you, or me, or well... someone!
up2top

Big Wall climber
Phoenix, AZ
Jul 26, 2008 - 01:11am PT
I could swear he asked for a crouton.
MisterE

Social climber
My Inner Nut
Jul 26, 2008 - 10:04am PT
Nature! You Bastard! LOL!

I deliberately kept BMFG's name out of my story to protect his amomymity - I may not like the guy, but I certainly don't want to slander his name or reputation on a public BB.

People get sued for that stuff. *hint*
Jordan Ramey

Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
Jul 26, 2008 - 01:12pm PT
Ya know, on my home speakers (not the crappy work ones) I'm fairly sure he says quickdraw too. Oh well, either way the whole ordeal was ludicrous. That was about setup number 400 since he would change everything the second we set it up for him. If you can critique my setup, then you obviously missed the insane trying to implement a hook into the setup. really, a hook, not even a fifi.

I'm not entirely heartless, so I'm pulling the videos after the weekend. I never intended to make a permenant shrine to BWM for all eternity.

and finally, I wouldn't change any of it. I'll remember BWM long after I'd have forgotten that climb. Retrospectively fun!
Roman

Trad climber
Boston
Jul 26, 2008 - 01:29pm PT
It's pretty clear to me that he said "quickdraw" and not "piton"... do you all hear "piton" ?
He says quickdraw. The text is embellished but funny.

Who doesn't look like a goofass learning to jug?
Anastasia

climber
Not there
Jul 26, 2008 - 01:31pm PT
My new motto is...
Don't climb with people operating on different agendas. That my friends is a recipe for disaster.
I go climbing with people who want to have fun, ignoring others that go to "work out," find dates, prove themselves, etc. This decision has made my climbing experiences much more pleasant.
AF

Roman

Trad climber
Boston
Jul 26, 2008 - 01:37pm PT
Neat observation.
GDavis

Trad climber
SoCal
Jul 26, 2008 - 01:44pm PT
"or for people who are turned off by the idea of watching something just to laugh at someone."

You do realize this is the internet?
Mark Cushman

Trad climber
Erie, CO
Jul 28, 2008 - 05:39pm PT
I'm the guy who pulled "Epic Mike" aka "Big Wall Mike" up the Third Flatiron in my story:

http://cushman.net/2007/06/05/climbing-encounters-of-the-third-kind/

It's unbelievable to me that almost the same things happened on the climb with Jordan. At this point I don't care if people know who this guy is, it's just downright dangerous to climb with him. Beware of any Mike from San Diego who has climbed the Third!
ontheedgeandscaredtodeath

Trad climber
San Francisco, Ca
Jul 28, 2008 - 07:21pm PT
I hook up with a random partner to climb in Ecuador. It was my first out-of-country climbing trip. We meet in Quito. He acts like we are in the most dangerous place on the planet- totally paranoid. We go out for dinner and he insists in walking in this kind of two-man formation so that we could see if anyone is coming up on the other. He says that under no circumstance should we be out after dark. I was 22 and was having none of that. I headed to a bar, danced and partied it up with a local girl and stumbled drunk into our room at about 3:00 a.m. We were off to a bad start. It never really got any better. I hated his paranoia and he thought I was a loose canon. We suffered through a first climb and then agreed to part ways.
Phantom Fugitive

Trad climber
Misery
Jul 28, 2008 - 10:57pm PT
I can't resist.

I must post.

I was for a long time- addicted to climbing no matter the partner. Now, I'd rather solo or boulder, or read a book(okay, magazine) than climb with an idiot stranger.


My favorite(?) story was a double whammy-

Hooked up with a "NOLS"instructor(guaranteed Noob) in the Red Rocks P-lot. We did-what else- Crimson Chrysalis- starting at a lazy 1 pm.

Dude is sewing it up like Martha Stewart, but whatever- it's climbing, right? Takes him three hours to do three pitches, so I am in no mood to keep going. A rap line flies past, and this cute tan girl rappells by.

She looks us and up and down, smiles, and says "Sewing it up there, eh?" I about let go of the rope, as I had to hold my gut for laughing. Funniest Thing I'd ever heard.

This gal and her girl-friend end up crashing at my house for a week. We climb in the Cochise Stronghold among other places. Many web-date-like highlights, but the best being her un-clipping me from the anchor while on a slab stance. Not so hot anymore.

We are at each-others throats in a matter of days- she's mad at me for hiking too fast, not placing enough gear, etc.

I find her gone from our campsite one morning. I see her coming out of a nearby Dudes trailer camper in a bra and panties.


If you play with fire...
You tend to get burned.

PF
Crimpergirl

Social climber
Boulder, Colorado!
Jul 28, 2008 - 11:56pm PT
I want SO BADLY to post a story here. But the other party lurks here so I have to behave.

Don't. want. to. behave.

Argh!
dirtineye

Trad climber
the south
Jul 29, 2008 - 01:16am PT
well by saying that much, you've already burned em, so what's stopping you?
Caveman

climber
Cumberland Plateau
Jul 29, 2008 - 01:18am PT
Had a belayer put me in dire straights on an unprotected traverse. He tensioned the line as I climbed so that I was forced to yard up several feet of rope and pay it out as I made the traverse. Wanted to kill him as I reached the ground but I had a better idea. When he reached the traverse I took him off belay and hollered up telling him to look down. He got the big eyes when he saw the belay line hanging free. I think he got the point.
Anastasia

climber
Not there
Jul 29, 2008 - 02:11am PT
Crimpie,
You don't need to say anything. Especially since we don't know what kind of horrible things can be cooked up if you stir that pot.
(You never know how a proven fool can respond...)

Smiles,
Anastasia


Fletcher

Trad climber
Kidland, 24x7, but sometimes Pasadena, CA
Jul 29, 2008 - 02:15am PT
I once had a partner who was great as long as we were climbing. The rest of the time, especially the car rides to and from the crags (he didn't have a car) involved various rants, raves and increasingly uncomfortable monologues from him (uncomfortable for me to hear). Finally, he stepped over the line (and I have a pretty good threshold for toleration) and I couldn't take it anymore. That was the end of that.

Good thing the thing he said was only two miles from his house and not 60.

I felt bad because when that guy was on the rock, it was like he was free from all the other attachments and aversions in his life that weighed him down. He was really happy. But I had to respect my own sanity as well.

Too bad I couldn't just meet him at the base of the crag and then say "ciao" when we finished the walk-off.

Fletch
Jaybro

Social climber
wuz real!
Jul 29, 2008 - 02:38am PT
fascinating, Fletcher.

Yeah, don't shoot yourself in the foot, Crimp.

live long enough and you have these kind of incidences, I had one on El Cap. I published a story about it, maybe I can dig it up...
dirtineye

Trad climber
the south
Jul 29, 2008 - 02:41am PT
Don't shoot yourself in the foot, good grief.

Toes are highly over rated, anyway.

Besides, you've got another foot.
tim_b

Trad climber
Corona, CA
Jul 29, 2008 - 03:58pm PT
I'm lurking and laughing my ass off here, just "lying in wait" for Crimpie to give us something MORE ... I'll HAVE to keep checkin ... DIRT, Keep eggin' her on ...

(btw, just came back from Temple Crag, healing my fingerprints, did the Moon, Sun, and Venusian, but not the Big DARKIE)
forallthat

Trad climber
snohomish, wa
Jul 30, 2008 - 04:04pm PT
I used to climb with a guy that just couldn't leave anything behind at the base.

He had 40 lbs in his pack for a short multi pitch 5.6 climb at Smith Rock. I mentioned that since there were chains at each stance we didn't really need all the extra meals because we could rap off for dinner if it took that long (we started at 10:00 am). But he was being safe. I tried to explain to him we wouldn't need the cheater pole because I could probably reach each piece I placed to clip it. But he said you never know.

So I'm bringing him up the second pitch on a redirected belay off my harness when I feel him fall (I couldn't see him at this point). I figured he was at the crux 5.6 off width. A little slack and he falls again. This went on for about 15 minutes when I hear him yell "Take". So I start hauling in slack, but there is a lot of rope drag. And the rope just keeps coming. After awhile of hauling I started working up a sweat, my shoulder began to ache, and I'm wondering whats going on down there?

Then I see it. First comes that 40 lb pack tied off to the belay rope. Then this guy comes huffing up 10' below it, tied off on the same rope. When he got to the anchor he explained that he couldn't make the crux with the pack on. And he also says he's too tired to continue up. I agreed that I was tired too :-)

We have amicably agreed not to climb together since I take so many risks by being unprepared. And he's probably right. I still haven't recovered from the inflammation in my shoulder because I didn't take any ice with me ;-)
cleo

Social climber
Berkeley, CA
Jul 30, 2008 - 04:19pm PT
snicker snicker...

very unsafe, not bringing that ice...
Trippel40

Social climber
CO
Jul 30, 2008 - 07:41pm PT
I was in Korea for a week and had heard that they had great granite so I brought shoes, chalk bag and harness "just in case".

I can't speak the language but had relatively positive interactions with folks there in the past and this time it was no different. I was able to find a climbing shop and from them get directions to a climbing area in that classic pantomime/pidgeon english/sign language/pictionary kind of way that gets you by when all else fails. One problem solved.

I stepped off the train (Korea has a seriously kick ass public transportation system) with 100 of my new closest friends all decked out in "mtn hiking" garb of knickers, multi-pocketed vests and silly caps and followed them to a trailhead that presumably went up to a beautiful granite capped mountain with amazing features like a slightly rumpled dwarf cap pertched on top of a mountain and about 4-5 honest pitches high. After the approach I realized that, true to form, Koreans were hanging like grapefruit off every feature on the crag. All along the base were little plaques and mini headstone-looking things which, it turns out, are all memorials to dead climbers. All I can say is it should have been a sign.

So, there I am, I found a great looking crag and now I just need a partner with gear and a rope. Finally, some guy takes pity on me and lets me rope up with their group. I get up to the belay station and realize that his belay consists of a quick draw clipped to one of those petzl self drives, the rope tied in to the draw. Yikes! As I lower back to the ground, another Korean rapping by me greets me in english. Turns out he speaks a decent amount of it and has a rope and rack and agrees to hook up.

He selects a route and I totally don't know the grade or where we are going but its his crag, right? No worries. I hand him the sharp end but he refuses saying I should lead the pitch. Im thinkin', "What a nice guy, This whole Asian courtesy thing is something we all could learn a lot from." So I start up and its pretty solid 5.9 slabbage for 30m with 3 or so bolts. I had not had a lot of slab time on granite and was used to at least a few features so it kept my attention. I was half way up and realized that besides being the only round eye there I was the only one wearing a tee shirt and shorts. Yep, just your average dumb American I guess. Well, I get to the belay and up comes my new Korean friend, Han. Fearing the possibility of losing a lot of skin should I whip I cheerfully begin to hand him the gear but he tries to refuse the next lead.

"No, I insist, your turn."

"I um, I no lead, only follow."

"Sh#t,"

OK, I guess it IS my lead again!

He points the way and I notice a slimy seep crossing the path up the remainder of the slab to a nice diehedral. He reassures me its OK so I set out with his "rack" of draws and 3 cams for P2. I get to the slime and there is no way to friction through it- the rock is covered with algae and slimy. Im gettng a little worried so I find a face feature I can get one of the cans in and french free over the slime off it. I am feeling better as I reach the corner but as I keep getting higher, I realize the bolst ended at the corner and its natural gear only for 60 feet or so. My 2 remaining cams disappear fast and Im a long way from the anchors. Crap! I desperately look up over the arete forming the outer edge of the diehedral and see a line of bolts presumably for someone to climb the arete itself out on the face. I can barely reach them and clip them with draws. It creats an awful lot of rope drag but its all the pro there is. I should mention I was in no way ready at that time to attempt the arete proper. Anyway, I make it to the anchor and find some sort of eye bolt made of 1/2" or larger stock and 2 bolts arranged in a 1/2 circle with the eyebolt at "12 o'clock" and one bolt each at the 3 and 9 positions all linked with a circle of cable. If you can visualize it, only the eyebolt holds any weight, the other two are really just spacers. Well, I've got my climbing fix and my spidey sense is telling me to git while the gittin is still good and I don't earn one of the plaques at the base of the wall. Han shows up and I state that we are going down. He is cool with it and after confirming its a 60m rope with him I arrange the rap and toss the rope.

Im not fooling with Korean anchors (maybe Largo needs to translate "Climbing Anchors" for them? I rap first. The ropes end (with rope stretch) about 3' above the next station. I reach down, clip in and unload the ropes which spring back up a good hand full of feet. When Han comes down Im careful to grab the ropes above him before he comes off them. I now suspect they are in fact not 60m ropes...

The rap to the ground is also short but by 20 feet or so on blank slab. I spy a small piece of shrubbery 15' to one side 1/2 way to the ground and we aim for it then the ground. I promised Id never climb with Koreans after that!

Han was a good sport and did take me out drinking that night and I am alive so its cool I guess but sure didn't agree to meet up on Sunday for more!

I have some awesome pictures of some of the anchors and dead climber monuments somewhere. If I ever find them Ill post them.
MisterE

Social climber
My Inner Nut
Jul 31, 2008 - 09:40am PT
Great stories!!! Keep 'em coming! (except Crimpie, of course ;-P)
shwilly

Trad climber
vegas
Jul 31, 2008 - 10:50am PT
I can't believe I missed the video. I believe this a safety issue. may I please see the video. please
hbriceno

Trad climber
Lyon
Aug 2, 2008 - 11:17am PT
Hmm... I just wanted to add a word to say that sometimes it does work out and sometimes it doesn't. I guess the most important thing is personal safety and chemistry. Although, the only exception (to chemistry, never to personal safety) is when you really really want to do a route, otherwise it is not worth it.

I had a great experience with John in Yosemite even if it was a crazy plan, but I also had simply bland experiences with other climbers, where you completed the climb, but you did not feel like writing a report or did not leave with a feeling that you had that much fun....although overall it has been good.
Karen

Trad climber
So Cal Hell
Aug 2, 2008 - 01:35pm PT
Met this guy online, we went climbing out at Josh and everything seemed fine. Later went on the trip to Tuolumne Meadows, things began to go wrong on the ride up, he was an ass with a capital A!!!
Very narcissitic and just plain mean. I was in tears by the time we got to Mammoth.
I tried to ignore his behavior knowing I was stuck with him for the next few days. Went up to the Meadows to do a multi-pitch climb. At the last anchor, he brought me up, I clipped in when he announces that we are walking off there, at that anchor! I freaking could not believe it, it was still 5th class- 5 pitches up! I begged him to continue to the top so we could walk off the back, the proper way-in my opinion- to descend. He refused.
I was never so scared in my life doing this insane walk off from that anchor! all the time he just kept haranguing me, mocking my fear, we got down safely. Got home and told him to take a hike, no desire to continue to see such a creep!!!
Ricardo Carlos

Trad climber
Off center, CO.
Aug 2, 2008 - 02:34pm PT
Living in a different state and not climbing for ten years finding partners on line was a quick fix.
My first time out after hiking down into a canyon with ice in the stream the guy points to a small rock and states belay on the rock.
I look at him and state your rope is going to get really wet cause I’m not standing in the stream to belay.
When I meet with female climbers I pick a coffee shop or similar place to meet up.

While hanging at a belay for the first time one gal said picked me for my choice of meeting spots.
She said another guy who answered her post was taking instant gratification before even meeting or climbing.
Said if when meeting I turned out to be a total creep she could bolt .
She hooked me up with her boyfriend to climb as well.
Before full time employment, families and what not it was easier to hook up at Humber or the Lodge parking spots.

MisterE

Trad climber
One Place or Another
Feb 25, 2009 - 02:34pm PT
Humor bump!
Paulina

Trad climber
Feb 25, 2009 - 10:56pm PT
Total humor bump!

Also: hello Hector! (in case you're around)
MisterE

Trad climber
Canoga Bark! CA
Sep 7, 2009 - 06:19pm PT
Bump for climbing stories
up2top

Big Wall climber
Phoenix, AZ
Sep 7, 2009 - 07:37pm PT
I recently recovered the contents of an old hard drive and ran across this gem from a few years ago. This is not my story. It was written by "Crotch" about his experience climbing with a dumb tw#t named Randee who went by the handle "Enigma" over on RC.com waaaay back in the day. I haven't seen Crotch post much around here lately, but if you're out there, dude -- let me know if you want this story yanked.

"We made plans to meet at HVCG at 10am. Plenty of time for me to drive up from San Diego. Wanting to be a good partner, I packed the night before and got an early start.

I was at the park by 9am so I decided to solo some easy routes to kill some time. 10am rolls around and I'm at HVCG but no Randee. By 11am, I give up on her and start climbing some more on my own. At 1:00 after climbing 6 or 7 routes partnerless, I find a campsite at HVCG, and set up camp. 1:30pm and I've decided to walk over to Gunsmoke, do a few laps, then head into town for an outdoor concert put on by Coyote Corner.

Just as I'm about to start walking, guess who pulls up. I make a quick decision that I might still want to climb more, so we settle on Toe Jam so that I can get a feel for Randee. As to why she was 3.5 hours late, she says that she went for a run the night before and had a hard time getting out of bed!!! I should have bailed right there, but I'm thick-headed.

It takes her forever to get her disorganized sh#t together and then halfway there she realizes she's without a nut tool so goes back to her car. Then she realizes she has to pee, but the nearest toilet is too stinky so she goes to one farther away, making me wait even more.

Finally, I'm on belay and climbing and by the time I get to the top I realize that as much as I love climbing, I despise this chick and won't share a rope with her. At the chains, I offer to let her set up the rap (2 bolts with chains, a no-brainer even for a sporto) but she says she'd feel more comfortable if I threaded the rope. Whatever.

Back on the ground, I tell her that our climbing soiree won't work out. Something to the effect of: I like to share my rope with people that I respect and that respect me, and that I feel like I'm rewarding her by climbing with her.

Her reply to this is that she won't tolerate me treating her like a child, and that I must not be able to handle strong, independent women. She says I'm lucky to have a girlfriend who can put up with my bossiness and women-demeaning attitude because no other chick would put up with me. It's like a break up after a five-year relationship and I've only known the chick for 15 minutes.

The irony is that my girlfriend is about as independent as they come. She can thread her own rappel anchors :), MD, Ph.D. student, author of a book, has onsighted .11c crack, first ascents in Alaska, you name it. If only Randee knew how ridiculous she is. So I sent her home packing and had a good laugh.

The following monday she posted something here about how she met some blonde-haired hunk and ended up in a cave with him at sunset. Something to make me jealous I suppose, but it made it more clear that she lives in a fantasy world.

Cheers,

Crotch"
BASE104

climber
An Oil Field
Sep 7, 2009 - 07:45pm PT
I was on a wall with a friend of a friend of a friend. I was leading a pitch and needed a piece of gear that I didn't put on the rack. It was over halfway up the pitch, so I tell the partner to untie the haul line from the pig and send a continuous loop.

So I am hanging onto the haul line with one hand when he undoes the pigs and starts lowering them out on the very overhanging pitch. He didn't quite get it. Picture this:

Screaming guy on junky gear holding a full pig in one hand. All of the slack in the rope is dangling in space. I hang on while he lassos the pig somehow and pulls it back in.

Since we were starting the route, I bailed at the anchor. The bastard went back and soloed it the next year.

No lie. I am scarred by it to this day.

WBraun

climber
Sep 7, 2009 - 07:47pm PT
Base104 -- "So I am hanging onto the haul line with one hand when he undoes the pigs and starts lowering them out on the very overhanging pitch."

Holy sh'it!!! LOL
BASE104

climber
An Oil Field
Sep 7, 2009 - 07:54pm PT
Swear to God.

I was pissed! Hanging onto the pig with one hand and about fifty feet of slack. 40 feet or so short of the end of the pitch. Just picture it in your mind...

I thought that I was pulling up some baby angles.
Buggs

Trad climber
Eagle River, Alaska
Sep 7, 2009 - 08:18pm PT
Bwah-haa!! Hilarious! First time I read this E, busted a gut! Bowel fixation! You just scared the Sh2T out of him that's all!
Captain...or Skully

Social climber
Boise....
Sep 7, 2009 - 08:23pm PT
Sometimes it works, sometimes it don't.
No sweat, K---- -....We have differing styles, is all.
I HATE yours. Not you.
Relax, sista. You'll have more fun.
Still love ya.
Chinchen

climber
Anacortes, wa
Sep 7, 2009 - 08:54pm PT
Erik, what was our falling out? Women or weed?
Lynne Leichtfuss

Social climber
valley center, ca
Sep 7, 2009 - 09:01pm PT
Yeah, along with what stich said....nameless. But the dude that was climbing with us and then started hitting on the minor daughter. (None of you on this Forum) Well, yo just call 1-800-Bust-that-Dude. I didn't call I just busted his .......:D
Captain...or Skully

Social climber
Boise....
Sep 7, 2009 - 09:06pm PT
Sounds like THAT had to happen.
What a Bastage! Some folks are just "Sumini Batches".
I borrowed that from Johhny Dangerously........
Jaybro

Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
Sep 7, 2009 - 09:23pm PT
There was this guy the Colonel climbed with...
They got up to the second pitch of some moderate valley climb when the other guy announced,
"The've moved the cracks!"

then it came up that he hadn't taken his medication that day.
"what do you take,?" asked the Concerned Colonel.
"Thorazine."

They rapped...
Captain...or Skully

Social climber
Boise....
Sep 7, 2009 - 09:25pm PT
Yobah Dobah Dobah, hop Dop Doo Wop.
Rappin', man.
It happens. POW!
The Wolf

Trad climber
East SF Bay Area
Sep 7, 2009 - 11:24pm PT
MisterE, I think I climbed with your guy or his exact double in Tuolumne back in the day. I have tons of horror stories of bad partners, I 'met' many so called partners via craigslist, and other climbing sites doing partner link ups.

One in particular. Met this guys through some climbing website and because he lived near me we actually drove to TM together (big mistake). This guys tells me he climbs 11's and is willing to lead anything. I think great, maybe he can pull me up some stuff I never had the balls to lead. He starts quizzing me about my gear, I have the usual crap everyone has nothing obscure and nothing out of the ordinary, but he tells me we should climb with his rack, because his is newer and he has EVERYTHING. Fine with me right?

I'm think we should start on something I know well just in case this guy is a smoke blower. We head up to Daff dome for Fingertips 10a/b. It's got about a 30 foot run to the first bolt but the angle is fairly low and it's not that big of a deal. This guy says "I'll lead it", cool I think I can watch and see what's what with this guy. He takes two moves and 6 feet off the ground and says, he's too gripped to do face, he's more of crack guy. OK, I lead the first pitch, he French free's and stands on every bolt. In between he says, "got me" and he lets go and leans back and takes hangdogging (window washers) rests. Which he does the next 2 pitches while he tells me where I should go and what I should do at every move. Now, I'm a very non confrontational guy but I finally yell down at him "Shut the F&*%k up." We make it to the top and he tells me he wants to do something harder, that now he's warmed up.

I'm thinking, you have got to be sh##ting me. I remind him he said he was a crack guy. He says F-yeah man I eat cracks.

I suggest South Crack, nice, easy, classic and beautiful 5.9. He says it's too easy but he's do it if I really wanted to.

At the base of the first pitch he says he wants me to lead the first pitch, because he doesn't like lie backs. So I lead the 5.5 first pitch lie back. He's insistant on bringing his entire rack, even though he is following and I have done the route a dozen times before and have the rack. He wants to climb the variation of the first pitch and half way up. It's 5.7 and he's struggling.

At belay he's keeps going at my encouragement, after all he has a full rack. 25 feet out he's fumbling for pro, stoppers, cams, you name it and it came out and was pushed at the crack. Suddenly I hear a screech and figure he's going air surfing, but no, he's just dropped an assortment of cams and wires and other crap that's he's filled his mouth with as he fumbles for the right piece. As I watch a couple hundred dollars of booty fly into the bushes at the base, I smile.

At the belay ledge of pitch 2, I come up and see the most beautifully set multi directional anchor I have ever seen, All locking biners, shiny runners, brilliantly colored cams. But when I see my partner he is 6 feet away. I politely but with a clearly concerned voice as " what are you tied into?" He looks at his abandoned anchor and says "I guess I forgot to tie in."

I lead the rest of the pitches, refused to go back to the base and help him look for his dropped gear and said if he wants a ride he better get in the truck. We rode silently for 5 hours, I dropped him and never ever forgot him.

Parts 2 thru 200 of my horror shows to follow. Stay tuned for Hypothermia and the Rotten Log, Tied to a bush and Freaked on on Pitch 2, I climb 5.12, but can't do the 4th class approach and more.


Captain...or Skully

Social climber
Boise....
Sep 7, 2009 - 11:39pm PT
You're nice Wolf.
I could've just left him to die.
That type has a charmed life, anyhow, they exist to make the rest of us suffer(?), grow character(?), or kill them(?).
I dunno.
reddirt

climber
Elevation 285 ft
Sep 8, 2009 - 01:40am PT
I would just like to say climbing w/ Khanom was the cathartic experience apres my initiation to the first (and only) climbing partner that didn't work out. The climbing, the rain, the ability to actually know & recite the Dao (in the original language no less!), the stupid ticket in Bishop, the gourmet ramen creation... I remember it all most fondly.

Hope our paths cross again. Definitely plotting my escape for 2010 ; )


tooth

Mountain climber
Guam
Sep 8, 2009 - 03:16am PT
classic shot! Scoping out the route, scratching your


























leg straps!
justthemaid

climber
Los Angeles
Sep 8, 2009 - 09:49am PT
I've been desperately looking for a really funny story someone posted a few years back. I can't find it, but I remember the OP describing a situation that he was so pissed off and desperate to escape, that he finally tossed the entire rack off the cliff to force the partners to rappel.
Jaybro

Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
Sep 8, 2009 - 12:05pm PT
That is so funny, Dingus. I'm glad I clicked on it. Wheels was a good friend and major climbing partner of mine for a little over a decade; we did some new routes in LLC, he went up with me on an Owl roof attempt, even.

Lynn's style was to say the least 'unusual' even in this crowd.

Once in Camp 4. I sat In Walt's van while he was racking up to solo The NA wall. he was faily occupied, had a lot on his mind, I think 'cid was there too. Walt was singing the blues because he had soloed the first nine pitches then bailed, only to realize he had to go back up and renail, he was, 'moody', though up beat. So anyway Wheels furtively slinks by, wireframe glasses askew, feet kicking up a pigpen eque cloud of dust. Walt watches him go, then looks at me and said "Man, your buddy is really tweakin'"

The food thing; Wheels was a tiny little man, I don't know where he put it. Once we made an abortive attempt to free 'Ball and Chain' in Zion. When I went to haul the bag it weighed a ton, Wheels had a six pack of Soda cans in there!

Bruce and I talked about Wheels on a number of occasions. I commented that once I had taken a day climbing trip to City of Rocks from SLC with Wheels and Tom McMillan. Between Wheel's virtual silence, and Tom's exuburant loquaciousness, it was kind of like being with one regular person.

Climbing relationships have their ups and downs, but I miss those days.

RIP, Bruce, Wheels, Walt.
mcreel

climber
Barcelona
Sep 9, 2009 - 04:19am PT
This one guy had a gear fixation...

Larry

Trad climber
Bisbee
Sep 9, 2009 - 07:36pm PT
Sometimes I get the feeling that I've already told these stories on rec.climbing, but...

I once picked up a partner in the Arking Plot. My first suspicion arose when he wore his EBs on the wrong foot, because the toes were too worn out to wear them the right way.

We went up on Greasy but Groovy on the Arches Apron. I think we were two pitches up. He led out. Didn't quite make it to the first bolt, slipped and began a 50' factor two fall onto the 2x 1/4" belay.

He tumbled past me. As he came on the rope, I let slip. No injuries other than scrapes & bruises.

That was the end of climbing that day.
Melissa

Gym climber
berkeley, ca
Sep 9, 2009 - 09:17pm PT
Thanks for the Brutus classic.
Jaybro

Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
Sep 9, 2009 - 10:28pm PT
Once upon a time, in Salt Lake City, I was late to meet my wife for our aerobics ( I will tolerate no shˆt for this, it was after all, the eighties) class. I was almost out the door, I had my hand on the knob, when there was a knock from the other side.

There was Wheels.

Let's just say Lynn's lips never sunk ships. I was anxious to get going, but I knew that he had something on his mind..
"come on in, but I gotta get going..."

"well," he said looking at his foot and adjusting his bent, wire framed, glasses.
"yes?"
"I turn thirty today." he confided.

I field a visceral shift. I needed to be nowhere but right where I was.

"Happy birthday!" I said.

On a multiple student budget we had little in the flat in the way of party supplies. But I did have a care package my mom and my brother's family had sent from their recent trip to Hawaii; a can of Macadamia nuts and a mini bottle of some awful macadamia liquor.

"Here's to you, lynn!" we each did a shot. Then we sat and ate the nuts. It was kind of very cool. 26 yrs ago! not much later he went off to where he lived with his brother ( who I hope remembered the significance of the day) i got to aerobics class as Michele was leaving, she and her friends laughed when I told them the story and drank a toas to Lynn from the drinking fountain.


This was inspired by Brutus' story.
Given the thread title I gotta say, Don't get me wrong on this; my climbing partnership with Wheels always worked out, (DNB-5hrs CTC, Hotline, Astroman, other things I am forgetting...) but most times he was as idiosyncratic a partner as I am.
donini

Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
Sep 9, 2009 - 11:26pm PT
What did you expect?
MisterE

Social climber
Across Town From Easy Street
Apr 21, 2010 - 11:42pm PT
WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS A FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE! Bump

R.B.

climber
..
Apr 22, 2010 - 12:07am PT
MisterE

Are you sure he took a crap? because it sounded like the guy still had a turd up his a$$!

seth kovar

climber
Bay Area
Apr 22, 2010 - 12:17am PT
Brutus once penned a story about going to climb Keeler Needle with a strong pickup partner.

On the approach Brutus puked, (big surprise)

His 'Let's go CLIMBING!' quip afterward was not well received.

They sent... but didn't gel all that well I guess. Anyway, its old rec dot and I don't know how to find it.

DMT

ps. Here it is!

http://groups.google.com/group/rec.climbing/browse_thread/thread/a48967920a004669/7f5f624e2f8f5907?q=brutus+keeler+group:rec.climbing


Classic...
Lost Arrow

Trad climber
The North Ridge of the San Fernando
Apr 22, 2010 - 01:21am PT
Bappen and Patten
scuffy b

climber
Where only the cracks are dry
Apr 22, 2010 - 12:07pm PT
Howzit goin with Weld_it, Juan?
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