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MisterE

Social climber
My Inner Nut
Topic Author's Original Post - Jul 1, 2008 - 06:40pm PT
Build a man a fire, keep him warm for a day
Set a man on fire,
keep him warm for the rest of his life.

Give a man a fish, feed him for a day
Whack a man upside the head with a fish,
and he'll stop bummin' food off of ya
MisterE

Social climber
My Inner Nut
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 1, 2008 - 06:43pm PT
Don't put those wires in your mouth
Captain...or Skully

Big Wall climber
Yonder
Jul 1, 2008 - 06:45pm PT
Indeed....
tolman_paul

Trad climber
Anchorage, AK
Jul 1, 2008 - 06:48pm PT
Meet a man in an Idaho bathroom stall and have a short fling...

Move to California to marry him and your f@*!ed for life...
Jaybro

Social climber
wuz real!
Jul 1, 2008 - 06:49pm PT
Burn a man
close a city for a year.
Elcapinyoazz

Social climber
Joshua Tree
Jul 1, 2008 - 06:49pm PT
Confucious say: Man taking dump on 11th floor, high on pot.
Captain...or Skully

Big Wall climber
Yonder
Jul 1, 2008 - 06:50pm PT
Minnesota Bathroom stall, thank you very much....Funny, though, T.Paul...
Ouch!

climber
Jul 1, 2008 - 06:51pm PT
paganmonkeyboy

climber
mars...it's near nevada...
Jul 1, 2008 - 06:53pm PT
ours is not to judge.
ours is to mock...


art imitates life
form follows function
do not fold, spindle, or mutilate...
MisterE

Social climber
My Inner Nut
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 1, 2008 - 06:57pm PT
No beans in your nose
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Jul 1, 2008 - 07:00pm PT
Do not mindle, futilate, or spold.
MisterE

Social climber
My Inner Nut
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 1, 2008 - 07:06pm PT
HOME DEPOT SCAM!!!!

Beware!



Watch Out For This Scam.

Be Careful - A 'heads up' for those folks who may be regular Home Depot customers.

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.



Here's how the scam works:

Two very hot 20-21 year-old girls come over to your vehicle as you are packing your shopping into the truck. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot. You agree and they get in. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen May 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, & 24th. Also June 1st, twice on the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 10th, 18th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.



So tell your friends to be careful.



P.S. Wal-Mart has wallets on sale 2.99 each
tolman_paul

Trad climber
Anchorage, AK
Jul 1, 2008 - 07:11pm PT
If we're supposedly inteligent, advanced creatures, why do I look out at the first really nice day this summer, and find myself on the wrong side of the glass?

My favorite Dilbert cartoon is where he's explaining what it's like to be an engineer to an elementary class: "You work in a cubicle, it's like a public bathroom but the walls are lower and there is no door."
Jaybro

Social climber
wuz real!
Jul 1, 2008 - 07:12pm PT
Are they still in your Van, E?
Blinny

Trad climber
NWMontana
Jul 1, 2008 - 07:17pm PT
Time flies like an arrow

Fruit flies like bananas

Duh!

TheFake
Captain...or Skully

Big Wall climber
Yonder
Jul 1, 2008 - 07:18pm PT
'Los Caballos estan Consados'....
Standing Strong

Trad climber
Lane Bike
Jul 1, 2008 - 08:44pm PT
you can pick your friends
you can pick your nose
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
L

climber
Soy latte center of the Known Universe
Jul 1, 2008 - 08:51pm PT
There's no time like the present
to put off until tomorrow
what you should've done last week.
Tahoe climber

Trad climber
a dark-green forester out west
Jul 1, 2008 - 08:53pm PT
Friends help you move.
Good friends help you move a body.

TC
cintune

climber
the Moon and Antarctica
Jul 1, 2008 - 08:56pm PT
Before criticizing someone, always walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.
Tahoe climber

Trad climber
a dark-green forester out west
Jul 1, 2008 - 09:49pm PT
Up wind,
Or up stream,
It doesn't pay
To piss that way
Blinny

Trad climber
NWMontana
Jul 1, 2008 - 10:06pm PT
a friend

is someone

who

leaves you

with

all your freedoms intact

yet

who

by what he thinks of you

obliges you

to be

fully

what

you

are

NeenerNannerNooner!

:-)

Kath
Mungeclimber

Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
Jul 2, 2008 - 01:22am PT
You can prick your finger, but
dooon't finger your prick.


-Carlin
Jay Wood

Trad climber
Fairfax, CA
Jul 2, 2008 - 03:17am PT
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.







Marriage mean commitment. Of course, so does insanity.









If you're 1 in a million, there are 4,000 people just like you.
Jaybro

Social climber
wuz real!
Jul 2, 2008 - 03:54am PT
I'll buy that there 4,000 people that share each of some of my weirder eccentricities, but how many are there with the same inventory?


Are there 4k folks even intriqued enough to wanna attempt that thing of Scuffy's where we use ropes but no harnesses, in the P-land?
locker

Trad climber
Joshua Tree Ca
Jul 2, 2008 - 12:43pm PT
DON'T post a photo of NAKED LADY with a BLUE BUTTPLUG up her ass on ST...
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Jul 2, 2008 - 12:47pm PT
I think, therefore, I'm KNOTT
k-man

Gym climber
SCruz
Jul 2, 2008 - 03:33pm PT
"There's a lot of truth to those facts."

> Tech Writer's Axiom
Svennordic

Social climber
Seattle Washington
Jul 2, 2008 - 04:35pm PT
I once ate a single potato chip.

Sven
Hardman Knott

Gym climber
Muir Woods National Monument, Mill Valley, Ca
Jul 2, 2008 - 04:40pm PT


(I took this photo yesterday)
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Jul 2, 2008 - 04:45pm PT
http://www.munsinger.com/malaprop.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malapropism#Examples
dave goodwin

climber
carson city, nv
Jul 2, 2008 - 04:47pm PT
how old would you be if you don't know how old you are?
Blinny

Trad climber
NWMontana
Jul 2, 2008 - 04:50pm PT


Sunset on TheHolyMont.

Photo by TheRealBlinny

Posted by TheFakeBlinny
Blinny

Trad climber
NWMontana
Jul 2, 2008 - 04:51pm PT
how old would you be if you don't know how old you are?

58.5

eKat

paganmonkeyboy

climber
mars...it's near nevada...
Jul 2, 2008 - 06:46pm PT
the average person has less than 2 legs...

"Statistics can be used to prove anything...40% of people know that! ... Homer J...
MisterE

Social climber
My Inner Nut
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 2, 2008 - 08:38pm PT
When the paper is clean, you can quit wiping.

We wanted a simple block of flats, not an abbatoir.
nita

climber
chica from chico, I don't claim to be a daisy
Jul 2, 2008 - 10:19pm PT
An uncomfortable bed makes for a long night.
Captain...or Skully

Big Wall climber
Yonder
Jul 2, 2008 - 10:29pm PT
So,No Sh*t, there I was.......
Standing Strong

Trad climber
Lane Bike
Jul 2, 2008 - 11:34pm PT
last night my friend and i went hiking along the river in the mountains. the trail wandered along the river for a bit, then meandered up a hillside covered in aspen groves. we saw red winged blackbirds, and a garter snake. i screamed when i saw the snake! i totally did not mean to.

on the way home we saw a porcupine. then we went back to my place and colored... with pastels and colored pencils. we listened to alternative, reggae and hip hop. we had a coloring competition. he thinks he won, but i think i won. i drew a butterfly and stuck rhinestones on the ends of its anntannae. i think he said he won becuz he was jealous of my rhinestone stunnafly.
Standing Strong

Trad climber
Lane Bike
Jul 3, 2008 - 01:44am PT
live as if you were to die tomorrow. learn as if you were to live forever

~ ghandi
Svennordic

Social climber
Seattle Washington
Jul 3, 2008 - 01:45pm PT
Some people say the glass of water is half full

Some say it is half empty.

I say, who the f*#k drank the other half of my glass of water.

Sven
L

climber
Soy latte center of the Known Universe
Jul 3, 2008 - 02:51pm PT
"My head hurts, my feet stink, and I don't love Jesus..."--this line from a Jimmy Buffett song just keeps running through my head....
Captain...or Skully

Big Wall climber
Yonder
Jul 4, 2008 - 09:27am PT
man, it's hot.....
Blinny

Trad climber
NWMontana
Jul 4, 2008 - 09:40am PT
I think t*r won!

eKat
Captain...or Skully

Big Wall climber
Yonder
Jul 4, 2008 - 09:49am PT
t*r???
Blinny

Trad climber
NWMontana
Jul 4, 2008 - 10:02am PT
Well. . . StandingStrong. . . the TacoBelle formerly known as t*r . . . I think SHE won the coloring contest. . .

just sayin'. . .

:-)

eKat
Captain...or Skully

Big Wall climber
Yonder
Jul 4, 2008 - 11:08am PT
Aye....my crayons melted.
paganmonkeyboy

climber
mars...it's near nevada...
Jul 4, 2008 - 11:24am PT
ninja zombies, while probably easier to kill than plain ninjas, will still be more problematic than just regular zombies...
Daphne

Trad climber
San Rafael, CA
Jul 4, 2008 - 12:00pm PT
I once lived a day as if it was my last.

People are still mad.
MisterE

Social climber
My Inner Nut
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 4, 2008 - 02:14pm PT
Crystal meth really helps that weight problem!
MisterE

Trad climber
One Place or Another
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 10, 2009 - 01:29pm PT
Two feet of snow in Flagstaff.

And here I thought I moved to the desert.
Wayno

Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
Feb 10, 2009 - 02:10pm PT
Does your nose run and your feet smell? You're backwards.
cupton

climber
Where the past and future meet
Feb 10, 2009 - 03:46pm PT
You can eat sh#t but don't sh#t where you eat

A penny saved is a woman scorned

MisterE

Social climber
Cinderella Story, Outa Nowhere
Topic Author's Reply - May 7, 2011 - 04:15pm PT
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.

 Robert Frost

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice.

 Bill Cosby

Brandon-

climber
The Granite State.
May 7, 2011 - 05:32pm PT
If you work a trade job, don't walk to or from anyplace empty handed. There is always something to do.
sjellison

Mountain climber
Leadville
May 7, 2011 - 06:02pm PT
Sh*t or get off the Pot.
DanaB

climber
Philadelphia
May 7, 2011 - 07:18pm PT
There's always free cheese in a mouse trap.

Stamping out lives and saving disease.
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
May 7, 2011 - 07:30pm PT
You can't make an omelette without breaking wind.
rlf

Trad climber
Josh, CA
May 7, 2011 - 07:42pm PT
Heard at the Glendale Mall years ago from a very tired stressed out mother screaming at her child in front of god and country:

"GOD DAMMIT, GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF YOUR BUTT!"
Brandon-

climber
The Granite State.
May 7, 2011 - 07:42pm PT
Smoke pot? Check your knot.
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
May 7, 2011 - 07:51pm PT
rlf, I'll see your tired and stressed out mother, and raise you a tired and stressed-out kid:

Standing in a long line up in a bank, a young mother tells her 5-year-old (approx) kid for the ninth time to stay beside her. He responds with "If you don't stop saying that I'm telling grandpa I saw you put daddy's wee-wee in your mouth."

Word. I was there and heard it. She turned red, picked junior up, and headed out the door.
Captain...or Skully

climber
or some such
May 7, 2011 - 08:02pm PT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pN8E8L5c9WI&feature=None_mf
rlf

Trad climber
Josh, CA
May 7, 2011 - 08:05pm PT
That's a good one Ghost!!!!
Brandon-

climber
The Granite State.
May 7, 2011 - 08:10pm PT
Ghost, I've heard that joke from many people.
MisterE

Social climber
Cinderella Story, Outa Nowhere
Topic Author's Reply - May 7, 2011 - 08:56pm PT
Smoke pot? Check your knot.

Doubled back, bowl to pack!
climbski2

Mountain climber
Anchorage AK
May 7, 2011 - 10:52pm PT
"You are like talking to a wall!"

"Stop talking and you won't have to worry about that."
The user formerly known as stzzo

Social climber
May 7, 2011 - 11:20pm PT
When in doubt
Seamstress

Trad climber
Yacolt, WA
May 7, 2011 - 11:22pm PT
The rallying cry of my family:

God hates a coward!

Most excellent advice when playing cards after dinner on the holidays.
MisterE

Social climber
Cinderella Story, Outa Nowhere
Topic Author's Reply - May 8, 2011 - 03:52am PT
Women are from Venus:

Venus is a beneficial planet by nature and is also considered to be a teacher. Venus is the planet governing sensuality and is the embodiment of love. All attributes of love, romance, beauty, sensuality, sexual pleasures and passion are under the rule of Venus.

Men are from Mars:

Mars is a masculine planet, extremely fiery in nature. He is said to be the commander-in-chief of the planets of our solar system and is personified as the God of War. Mars has the nature of a warrior.

And now back to your regularly programmed bickering...
Dingus Milktoast

Gym climber
Run like the wind.
May 8, 2011 - 10:01am PT
Men THINK they are from Mars and women THINK they are from Venus.

Friends? That is ass backwards.

DMT
Stewart Johnson

climber
lake forest
May 8, 2011 - 10:03am PT
switch the bar code.
Ricky D

Trad climber
Sierra Westside
May 8, 2011 - 10:06am PT
You can lead a horse to water.




But you cannot make it drink.






You can, however, drown the ungrateful SOB if you hold it's head under long enough.
Dingus Milktoast

Gym climber
Run like the wind.
May 8, 2011 - 10:18am PT
So way down south this woman of the night 'got the fever' of religion and wanted to be saved. Being this was the south and all, she chose one of them down home primitive baptist tribes, what with the 'take me to the river, dunk me in the water' saving rituals; she was a traditional, conservative girl at heart.

So on the appointed day the congregation gathers on the banks of Gator Creek and the preacher waded out into waist deep water, with the woman in tow.

He had her floating on her back, supporting her with one arm beneath her shoulders. The other hand was on her head. Now in this particular tribe the custom held that the woman was to 'publish her sins,' you know, 'can I get a witnesses' bullsh#t. And so it began,

"Lord, I am a sinner BUT I REPENT!"

"The Lord will save you."

"Halleluiah!" Shouted the congregation. And the preacher dunked her beneath the warm brown waters of Gator Creek. She came up sputtering with water in her nose. This time, with a more nasal intonation,

"Lord, (cough cough), I've... I've.... Lord I've taken money for sex."

"Praise God!" Shouted the congregation.

"Jesus forgives you," Says the preacher man and down she goes for another dunking. Again with the sputtering and coughing. Now her eyes hurt, that water in Gator Creek is sorta gross, between you and me. Too much tanic acid.

"God, oh God, please forgive me but I have had sex with more than one man at the same time and they was both married men and not to ME!"

"The All-Mighty forgives!" And the preacher dunks her again.

"Amen," intoned the congregation, though there were some sidelong glances going on now. Up comes the sputtering woman, and it was clear she'd done got the fire down below cause now she was really getting into it. I mean, I mean she could feel it. She could feeeeeeel the holy spirit within her. So this time she really let's loose,

"Lord, oh Lord, I have had sex with a German Shepperd!"

The preacher froze. The congregation was agog. Mouths asunder, looks of horror and revulsion. You coulda heard a pin drop into Gator Creek, no mean feat.

The preacher quietly said,

"I don't believe I woulda told that one."

DMT

ps. there's a moral to that story, applicable to the Taco.... hah!
DanaB

climber
Philadelphia
May 8, 2011 - 10:29am PT
You can lead horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

You can lead a girl to Vassar, but you can't make her think.

Okay, okay, I'm ready for whatever I get after that one.
sullly

Trad climber
May 8, 2011 - 11:10am PT
DanaB, that's so funny!

After Prop. 13 my mother warned her five children to never go into teaching. Thirty-three years later
I am telling my two to never go into teaching.
Sherri

Trad climber
WA
May 8, 2011 - 07:05pm PT
There is no such thing as turkey bacon.
Vegasclimber

Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
May 8, 2011 - 07:21pm PT
Cats will invaribly piss or spray on the top center cell of a parachute that you are about to pack.
MisterE

Social climber
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 29, 2013 - 11:29pm PT
Even though hand sanitizer kills 99.9% of germs, only .1% of germs make us sick.
Michelle

Social climber
1187 Hunterwasser
Jun 30, 2013 - 12:06am PT
Screw that. Should I try to finish the thieves guild quests or trap the dragon? Seriously.
LuckyPink

climber
the last bivy
Jun 30, 2013 - 12:45am PT
Dance like it hurts.

Make love like you need money.

Work when somebody is watching.





Michelle: dragons first

R.B.

Trad climber
47N 122W
Jun 30, 2013 - 01:14am PT
Just remember: The Truth will ALWAYS stare at you in the mirror!
Michelle

Social climber
1187 Hunterwasser
Jun 30, 2013 - 01:15am PT
Roger, dragon assault scheduled for Sunday evening.
Wayno

Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
Jun 30, 2013 - 02:14am PT
The average human being has one ball and one tit.
MisterE

climber
Topic Author's Reply - Sep 18, 2013 - 05:48pm PT
Don't clean the paint over-spray off of a live outlet with steel wool!

zBrown

Ice climber
Brujo de La Playa
Sep 18, 2013 - 06:26pm PT
Don't think twice it's all right.

In Lone Pine:
"Flush twice L.A. needs the water"


On bathroom stall at UCLA (I think tuition was lower in those days)
"Richard Nixon ate here"

Just below:

"My compliments to the chef"

StahlBro

Trad climber
San Diego, CA
Sep 18, 2013 - 06:40pm PT
In a UCLA bathroom stall I saw a toilet seat cover box with sign that read
"Reagan Campaign hats $1.00"
khanom

Trad climber
Greeley Hill
Sep 19, 2013 - 12:40am PT
Don't clean the paint over-spray off of a live outlet with steel wool!

This one I can definitely second. Doh!
MisterE

climber
Topic Author's Reply - Oct 4, 2013 - 11:34pm PT
That actually was oil-based paint, and yes - the sink is now a mess.
hairyapeman

Trad climber
Fres-yes
Oct 5, 2013 - 03:15pm PT
Credit: hairyapeman

Whoooooo are you? Who who who who!
Ed Hartouni

Trad climber
Livermore, CA
Oct 5, 2013 - 03:31pm PT
post your opinions to the STForum
disappoint your friends...
eKat

Trad climber
Less than a second shy of 49 minutes
Oct 5, 2013 - 03:53pm PT
^ ^ ^ ^ F*#kEm if they can't take a joke!
rmuir

Social climber
From the Time Before the Rocks Cooled.
Oct 5, 2013 - 07:13pm PT
Don't put that cassette in the toaster!
johnboy

Trad climber
Can't get here from there
Oct 5, 2013 - 08:56pm PT
Give a man a fish and
he eats for a day.

Teach a man to fish
and he drinks beer for a life time
MisterE

climber
Topic Author's Reply - Oct 5, 2013 - 09:05pm PT
post your opinions to the STForum
disappoint your friends...

LOL! At least I am still considered a friend...

;)

Lap cat in shorts + Santa Ana wind gusts = scratched thighs...FYI.
Norwegian

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
Oct 6, 2013 - 10:42am PT
the exact angle of my
erection as measured
against my belly
is 42.3 degrees,
or 0.47 radian.
covelocos

Trad climber
Oct 6, 2013 - 11:41am PT
If it's not worth doing at the last moment, it's not worth doing.
Norwegian

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
Oct 6, 2013 - 03:37pm PT
we beat reality into a form that pleases us.
maybe i should just speak for meself.

i find it difficult to navigate
the spectrum of real that greets me.

i purposely seek out extra-ordinary domains,
more and more as life plays out.

being an intelligent species, my response
to my environment is conditioned though
exposures.

great.
when im 40' out, rope solo on new 5.10 terrain,
i rise. and so far, accomplish.

the problem arises when im standing on pavement,
negotiating social zeal, no tangible threat about,
and my fight response rears it's survival head,
and fist-fights usually ensue.

too many cops, of late.
i gotta get back on the couch.
covelocos

Trad climber
Oct 6, 2013 - 03:49pm PT
On a bathroom wall. "Jesus loves you". In different hand writing. "Everyone else knows you're an a**hole"
justthemaid

climber
Jim Henson's Basement
Dec 30, 2013 - 08:20pm PT
So I don't really hate the Eagles.. I don't particularly like them...but I don't hate them.. I guess I'm ambivalent about them.... but slightly more on the negative end of the spectrum.. just a bit...
Ricky D

Trad climber
Sierra Westside
Dec 30, 2013 - 08:22pm PT
Always wipe from front to back...especially if you are female I'm told.

Norwegian

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
Dec 30, 2013 - 10:05pm PT
i borrowed this from one of russ' threads,
though it was mine before it wasn't.

so i was, uh, yea.
sitting next to this 'reputable' woman,
we both bar-stooled,

and she's grabbing at the front of
her dress, near the belt,
totally distracting me from our 5 conversations,

and i'm like,
"you need to take a piss?"

and she goes,
no, im trying to work a fart out.
of course i looked even dumber than i usually do,
and she goes on to tell me
that sometimes when a woman is sitting down
and farts, the fart excapes forward through
a little connection seam
and gets trapped in the vagina.

so she was wiggling it out.

my god. i had little to say after that.
thebravecowboy

Social climber
Colorado Plateau
Dec 30, 2013 - 10:23pm PT
jesus weege. cunnilingus just took a real sh#t, err hit.
Gary

Social climber
Desolation Basin, Calif.
Dec 30, 2013 - 10:23pm PT
Give a man an inch, and he wants a foot.
Give a man a foot, and he wants a yard.
Give a man a yard, and he wants a swimming pool installed.
Evel

Trad climber
Nedsterdam CO
Dec 30, 2013 - 10:48pm PT
"Everyone is dead, film at 11."
Spider Savage

Mountain climber
The shaggy fringe of Los Angeles
Dec 31, 2013 - 12:06am PT
I HATE the Eagles.

I love Joe Walsh, and all the guys in the Eagles, before, after and separately or together. I just can't stand that commercial crap they did together.

It's important that you know this so don't forget.

There may be a quiz later and you'll want to pass.
MisterE

climber
Topic Author's Reply - Dec 31, 2013 - 12:17am PT
Mtnmun

Trad climber
Top of the Mountain Mun
Dec 31, 2013 - 01:02am PT
The mountain goes up to the exact spot where it goes down.
MisterE

climber
Topic Author's Reply - Apr 22, 2014 - 08:30pm PT
Don't pet a growling cat on the belly.
wilbeer

Mountain climber
honeoye falls,ny.greeneck alleghenys
Apr 22, 2014 - 08:39pm PT
Take me drunk,I'm home.
MisterE

climber
Topic Author's Reply - Apr 22, 2014 - 09:09pm PT
If you are not 100% sure she is pregnant, don't ask.
Off White

climber
Tenino, WA
Apr 22, 2014 - 09:25pm PT
Play with a cat, sometimes you bleed. That's just the rules.
Captain...or Skully

climber
Apr 22, 2014 - 09:39pm PT
Sometimes? You have a hella polite cat.
nature

climber
Boulder, CO
Apr 22, 2014 - 09:47pm PT
Drive Fast.
Take Chances.
Srbphoto

climber
Kennewick wa
Apr 22, 2014 - 09:57pm PT
When in doubt, whip it out!
hooblie

climber
from out where the anecdotes roam
Apr 23, 2014 - 12:38am PT
from the north pole, every direction is south. or more generally, there's no not looking at the other side
Norwegian

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
Apr 23, 2014 - 04:18am PT
one day my friend and i were
couching it, watching the idiot box
drinking coors.

he had a bad case of the hiccups.
friend number two walks into the room,
"papa bear, you know i got the sure cure for those."

"oh, yea, what is it?"

now papa bear was an english major
and he minored in cliches, so he knew all the tales...

"close your eyes and don't open them until i say."

so papa bear closes his eyes.
i'm glad that i was sitting kitty corner to josh,
observing all this...

friend #2 pulls down his drawers, underwear and all,
bends over and backs up to within 6" of papa bears face.

"ok, now open your eyes."

papa bear opens his eyes and lets out a curdle of surprise and terror
and jumps sideways on the couch landing on my leg,
but that is better than going face
with friend #2's hairy buthole and scrotum and other assorted junk...

and sure enough,
his hiccups were gone.
Captain...or Skully

climber
Apr 23, 2014 - 08:49am PT
Haha! He'll never get hiccups again!
Jaybro

Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
Apr 23, 2014 - 09:26am PT
"I hate the f*#king Eagles"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-vwPuiILBc&sns=em
[youtube=h-vwPuiILBc&sns=em]

I don't really, probably at about the same level as skip

I like the gypsy kings cover of Hotel California....
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Apr 23, 2014 - 01:48pm PT
Random.
Random.
Credit: mouse from merced
Gratuitous.
Gratuitous.
Credit: mouse from merced
NutAgain!

Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
Apr 23, 2014 - 01:54pm PT
Shoot low, they're riding Shetlands.
MisterE

Gym climber
Bishop, CA
Topic Author's Reply - Oct 11, 2014 - 10:12pm PT
Jesus saves,

Moses invests.
NutAgain!

Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
Oct 12, 2014 - 12:03am PT
papa bear opens his eyes and lets out a curdle of surprise and terror
and jumps sideways on the couch landing on my leg,

Reading through this whole vignette just cracked me up!

You want random input, I got your random input:
(courtesy http://www.random.org/integers/);
5 1 6 7 8 5 7 1 1 1 8 0 9 9 0 6 8 0 8 3 1 9 8 9 8 2 2 3 2 7 3 9 6 6 1 6 0 2 3 1
3 2 3 9 8 3 3 1 4 2 9 8 2 6 0 3 1 3 1 5 1 2 4 9 6 4 9 7 1 7 1 9 5 2 3 6 2 6 1 1
0 3 6 5 9 6 7 6 0 0 6 3 6 4 4 2 4 8 6 3 1 5 9 6 4 3 5 5 0 1 8 0 0 4 7 5 2 6 1 5
8 5 6 4 4 3 1 5 2 1 0 4 3 3 8 8 7 6 2 4 6 9 7 0 6 6 2 1 0 1 7 0 7 1 9 6 0 2 1 6
4 4 8 0 7 7 8 3 3 5 7 8 8 2 5 1 8 9 8 6 1 7 4 9 9 8 0 5 2 2 2 1 0 0 0 5 4 5 0 1
0 7 0 5 0 0 0 2 7 6 2 2 3 6 7 9 3 0 1 4 8 1 4 9 6 5 8 4 0 6 8 5 9 8 3 4 9 6 2 6
1 3 8 5 1 2 4 6 3 7 8 6 7 5 9 8 7 1 3 2 2 6 7 0 7 4 0 0 7 1 2 3 2 2 3 0 0 4 2 3
4 0 7 3 4 5 1 2 9 6 1 8 0 2 5 9 5 9 5 3 7 9 0 9 5 6 9 3 1 5 1 9 8 7 5 3 7 1 8 3
3 2 1 2 5 8 1 5 2 3 1 6 9 2 7 1 2 8 6 2 4 7 5 7 4 9 8 3 0 6 2 5 7 4 1 0 5 5 3 4
0 5 0 2 3 6 1 7 7 8 2 8 6 6 7 6 3 8 2 5 9 1 9 8 6 3 0 6 9 8 9 9 2 8 7 0 4 8 9 5
7 9 0 5 8 8 9 0 2 0 8 8 6 7 1 5 6 6 4 6 3 9 8 3 8 5 8 2 6 0 2 3 8 6 4 8 5 3 9 0
1 2 5 6 5 7 5 6 2 1 0 2 0 8 7 3 9 4 2 3 6 5 5 2 3 7 0 2 7 0 3 3 2 2 8 9 0 6 6 6
3 1 1 3 0 2 4 5 7 9 2 6 6 7 2 4 7 7 4 3 8 7 7 5 0 7 2 3 5 8 5 3 1 3 2 9 8 0 1 4
9 2 1 2 5 1 6 3 7 2 7 4 8 8 7 8 8 9 2 7 0 0 6 6 1 7 3 4 1 6 8 7 3 3 5 3 0 9 0 7
7 7 6 5 7 0 5 4 7 1 8 4 6 1 7 6 4 4 9 1 5 1 0 2 8 8 6 4 2 5 6 5 9 4 8 1 3 8 8 1
3 3 9 7 7 4 9 1 2 2 2 0 2 9 9 5 2 9 0 7 1 0 6 6 8 7 3 0 3 5 0 7 9 0 4 4 0 7 2 7
3 3 5 6 0 5 5 8 2 2 0 5 0 3 9 1 4 9 7 6 9 8 7 9 0 4 4 6 8 2 1 2 5 5 9 8 8 2 0 5
6 4 0 8 8 6 5 3 6 3 6 2 2 6 3 7 9 3 2 5 4 7 9 8 5 5 6 0 2 4 2 1 8 7 8 6 5 9 5 0
4 5 0 3 4 9 7 5 2 9 8 4 4 9 8 4 2 7 2 6 2 6 5 6 3 1 8 9 6 0 1 9 4 3 6 2 1 9 7 8
2 9 4 2 2 4 4 2 4 8 4 0 2 7 1 0 3 8 8 8 9 1 1 5 9 9 4 9 7 9 4 9 5 8 6 8 8 6 1 3
5 0 5 1 0 7 5 1 0 4 2 3 2 7 9 9 6 5 1 7 6 1 7 9 8 2 5 6 3 5 8 1 5 1 1 7 7 8 8 5
6 1 2 1 3 1 8 1 8 7 4 8 7 6 8 6 7 3 1 3 0 1 5 5 0 5 0 8 4 0 3 8 6 9 0 2 0 6 4 3
4 4 3 2 1 1 5 5 6 9 0 4 0 9 3 2 1 4 9 1 0 2 4 0 3 4 8 1 1 6 1 7 8 3 3 7 3 7 9 8
5 2 4 6 7 0 3 8 0 8 0 6 3 0 3 9 8 2 1 6 1 4 7 2 9 2 9 6 3 5 4 9 3 9 1 5 2 9 0 9
7 9 8 0 2 7 7 2 9 6 4 8 1 2 1 2 0 5 9 5 2 8 0 9
Gnome Ofthe Diabase

climber
Out Of Bed
Oct 12, 2014 - 12:35am PT
and What do Moose do


F C K
What is missing??

Why did my girl give me a hummer every morning
she was prone to a foul mouth and liked to say
swallow a live fog in the morning
nothing worse will pass your lips all day...ribbitt

Jha vhoul yah vole we are okay now comrades yes (Stzar mouse et al)
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