George Carlin: 1937 - 2008


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Boulder climber
Bishop, CA
Topic Author's Original Post - Jun 23, 2008 - 02:11am PT
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Jun 23, 2008 - 02:12am PT
This one makes me very sad.

Trad climber
vagabon movin on
Jun 23, 2008 - 02:13am PT
Very sad.

Here he is keepin it real

Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
Jun 23, 2008 - 02:23am PT
"ok Sheriff, we're going to f*#k ya now... we're going to f*#k you slow."

"well Mrs. Carlin, your son is failing handwriting."

"of course he is, he's crippled, he's trying to write with his other hand."

Carlin was a profound influence on me, fwiw. He was a philosopher, not just a comedian.

He was one of the first people that ever asked some of the same questions I asked:

"What's there to do in an elevator? .... Except not look at the other guy."

Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Jun 23, 2008 - 02:29am PT

Trad climber
Butte, America
Jun 23, 2008 - 02:31am PT

Hats off to you, George, and your precious seven words that you can't say on TV.

Jun 23, 2008 - 03:17am PT
The most important comedian during my lifetime.
The man was as funny as the best and didn't shy away from anything.

May he rot in flaming hellfire and brimstone for eternity, in agonizing pain, for saying f*ck.

Trad climber
Jun 23, 2008 - 03:32am PT
My favorite philosopher. He had a great ability to simplify.

One of many.
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Jun 23, 2008 - 07:41am PT
In prison before the guy gets a lethal injection they swab his arm with alcohol????!!

(still cracks me up)
Big Breasted Woman

Trad climber
The Brown Crack
Jun 23, 2008 - 08:29am PT

No one did or said it better! You broke the mold my friend!

Trad climber
Josh, CA
Jun 23, 2008 - 09:04am PT
George was an original.

"You know what they're gonna do? Ban toy guns, AND KEEP THE F#CK'N REAL ONES!"
Wes Allen

Boulder climber
Jun 23, 2008 - 09:33am PT
Will be missed for sure...

My favorite rant of his:

"We're so self-important. So self-important. Everybody's going to save something now. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. What? Are these f*#king people kidding me? Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're gonna save the f*#king planet?

I'm getting tired of that sh#t. Tired of that sh#t. I'm tired of f*#king Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world save for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don't give a sh#t about the planet. They don't care about the planet. Not in the abstract they don't. Not in the abstract they don't. You know what they're interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me.

Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are f*#ked. Difference. Difference. The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun?

The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles...hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages...And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet...the planet...the planet isn't going anywhere. WE ARE!

We're going away. Pack your sh#t, folks. We're going away. And we won't leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam. Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet'll be here and we'll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet'll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A surface nuisance.

You wanna know how the planet's doing? Ask those people at Pompeii, who are frozen into position from volcanic ash, how the planet's doing. You wanna know if the planet's all right, ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. Or how about those people in Kilowaia, Hawaii, who built their homes right next to an active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the living room.

The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we're gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, 'cause that's what it does. It's a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed, and if it's true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new pardigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn't share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn't know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, "Why are we here?"

So, the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now. And I think that's begun. Don't you think that's already started? I think, to be fair, the planet sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And the planet can defend itself in an organized, collective way, the way a beehive or an ant colony can. A collective defense mechanism. The planet will think of something. What would you do if you were the planet? How would you defend yourself against this troublesome, pesky species? Let's see... Viruses. Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And, uh...viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps, this first virus could be one that compromises the immune system of these creatures. Perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus, making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction.

Well, that's a poetic note. And it's a start. And I can dream, can't I? See I don't worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think we're part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big Electron...whoooa. Whoooa. Whoooa. It doesn't punish, it doesn't reward, it doesn't judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For a little while."
Fish Finder

Social climber
Jun 23, 2008 - 10:39am PT
i can picture george at the pearly gates with his cool sarcastic voice telling ethnic and religous jokes to peter to try to get in. god he was funny !

Boulder climber
Bishop, CA
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 23, 2008 - 11:01am PT
Here's few of his more memorable shows, for those with the time and inclination...

On Location: George Carlin at USC 1977
Playin' With Your Head 1986
What Am I Doing In New Jersey [url="">1988[/url]
Doin' It Again [url="">1990[/url]
Jammin' In New York 1992
Back In Town 1996
You Are All Diseased 1999
Complaints & Greivances 2001
Life Is Worth Losing 2005

Eating sand on the shores of Malibu...
Jun 23, 2008 - 11:10am PT
Carlin's jokes constantly breached the accepted boundaries of comedy and language, particularly with his routine on the "Seven Words" - all of which are taboo on broadcast TV and radio to this day.

When he uttered all seven at a show in Milwaukee in 1972, he was arrested on charges of disturbing the peace, freed on $150 bail and exonerated when a Wisconsin judge dismissed the case, saying it was indecent but citing free speech and the lack of any disturbance.

Good-bye and Bon Voyage, George. Thanks for making the world a funnier place. You will be missed.
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Jun 23, 2008 - 11:11am PT
Hey Wes, how about baseball & football?

Trad climber
Indiana (the other Mideast)
Jun 23, 2008 - 11:23am PT
71 yrs. old? I thought he was 71 yrs. old 20 years ago!...godspeed George!

Social climber
Jun 23, 2008 - 12:01pm PT
I can’t resist:

Here’s some “Best Of”:

Always do whatever's next.

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.

If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter.

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.

Religion is just mind control.

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

The status quo sucks.

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

Think off-center.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.


climber's near nevada...
Jun 23, 2008 - 12:08pm PT
we will miss you george...i still haven't found the blue food...

Jun 23, 2008 - 01:27pm PT

George was the real king of comedy.

Not here
Jun 23, 2008 - 01:49pm PT
Carlin had a great ability to see right through social illusions and propaganda.
He was brilliant.

His comedy medium showed off how he was a genius with his wit. The material he used made him one of the greatest teachers, political analysis, sociologist of our time.

His death is a great loss.


George Carlin Quote

"Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things."

"One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people."

"If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?"

"One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you."

"If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole damn airplane made out of that sh#t?"

"I like Florida. Everything is in the 80’s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ’s."

"Women like silent men, they think they're listening."


Social climber
wuz real!
Jun 23, 2008 - 02:56pm PT
All the stuff he did and said, and the first thing any media story brings up is the 7 words. As signifcant as that was, what about shining time Station?
Thanks, George.

Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
Jun 23, 2008 - 04:17pm PT
old interviews with george on npr right now.

Social climber
Hercules, CA
Jun 23, 2008 - 05:11pm PT
I saw him in either 77 or 78 at the old Circle Star theater on the Peninsula. Dang, he was funny.

I'll miss that humor. It was always thoughtful.

Trad climber
Butte, America
Jun 23, 2008 - 06:46pm PT
True, Jaybro. Listen to George tell about the adventures on the Island of Sodor brought a smile to my son's face and mine, as well. he wanted his epitaph to say:


Jun 23, 2008 - 06:55pm PT
"I'm getting really sick of guys named Todd. ... Where are all these goofy fcuking boys' names coming from? Taylor, Tyler, Jordan, Flynn — these are not real names. You wanna hear a real name? Eddie."

Man that guy made me laugh.

Trad climber
So. Cal.
Jun 23, 2008 - 07:16pm PT
I never thought he'd ever ammount to anything after he got fired in Vegas for saying "sh#t" in a town where the big game's called "crap".

Trad climber
Jun 23, 2008 - 07:30pm PT
I remember hearing the Class Clown album when I was about 10, my cousin had it. Way Funny!!! My good buddy, Flaky Flea and a Curry Dog Bellman who shall remain nameless told me the story of meeting him while camping and smoking a joint with him when they were like 14.

Jun 23, 2008 - 08:28pm PT

Social climber
wuz real!
Jun 23, 2008 - 08:31pm PT
Nice to hear we shared that sort of experience, Mojede.

Trad climber
Boulder Colorado
Jun 23, 2008 - 08:38pm PT
Jammin' In New York is a total freakin' classic.
Really sad news. Amazing talent.
Truly inspiring entertainer.
Great links Kleinfelter,
thanks for posting.

Trad climber
Jun 23, 2008 - 08:39pm PT
Dang... I'll miss him lots :(

Social climber
Flatland, Ca
Jun 23, 2008 - 11:24pm PT
I've been pondering this pretty much all day.

I firmly believe that George would not want a big who-raw about his passing.

The way I see it, he gave us the greatest gift he could... His thoughts, his writings, and his time. His time being the most important in the list.

Looking at the world, this country, and our society in general and pointing out the inevitable contradictions about each in a way that the general public could comprehend.

To pay tribute to his passing, I will be listening to every show I have on CD from start to finish until I have listened to them all. And I have them all. This will help me remember his words... Then I'll listen to them again.

Speaking of words, he taught me that it was important to learn the language and to know the appropriate time with which to use the language. "Occupation Foole" and the "Filthy Words" portion of that album were indelibly etched in my minds as a kid.

My only bad feeling about his death is that I never took the opportunity to see him perform live. Had plenty of chances, but never found the time or didn't have the money, or both. I will miss him for all his new stuff, but I have an entire lifetime of material with which to listen too, any time I want. And this, to me, will keep me company for a long, long time. Hell, his comedy has kept me company along many a long and winding road in the past.

No reason why it cannot continue. And isn't that what we all hope to achieve in some small way? To leave behind a legacy that many others can enjoy for a lifetime? Well, I guess that's just my own comforting illusion.
Ed Hartouni

Trad climber
Livermore, CA
Jun 24, 2008 - 11:51am PT
he'll be missed, great mind...

loved his leftover thing...

how do you respond to this? he wonders...

"hey, anyone want to eat these leftovers in the refrigerator?
If you don't I'm going to throw them out"

he ask, why would you want to eat them if they're going to be thrown out?!

anyway... he had that kind of mind.

Social climber
wuz real!
Jun 24, 2008 - 07:58pm PT
I have an affinity for mad genius, (see also EA Poe, HST, Burroughs, Dostoyevskii, Lenny Bruce, Shipley, Walling, and more (!)) and he is somewhat responsible for that.

Jun 24, 2008 - 09:02pm PT
Holy jumpin' fuçkin' shi†balls!

Sorry, just had to type that once.

I hope we have the good sense to blow him up rather than cremate or bury him. That's what he hoped for. "Plgghhhhplghhhhhh...There he goes!"

Social climber
Jun 28, 2008 - 02:02pm PT
Hey George Carlin Fans,
SNL will be showing its premier show tonight w/guest host

Extra Treat-Andy Kaufman!

Should be good.

Social climber
Hercules, CA
Jun 28, 2008 - 02:49pm PT
Watching him on Inside the Actor's Studio right now on Bravo.

Good stuff

Social climber
Portland, Oregon
May 12, 2013 - 11:47pm PT
Bump for George's birthday!

I do miss his wit.
The Warbler

the edge of America
May 13, 2013 - 12:07am PT
This George Carlin quote might belong on Dr F's thread too :

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”

Boulder climber
I'm James Brown, Bi-atch!
May 13, 2013 - 12:10am PT
did you see the show where he went off on Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong, holy cow, tell it like it T I S,
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