Discussion Topic |
|
This thread has been locked |
klinefelter
Boulder climber
Bishop, CA
|
|
|
Topic Author's Original Post - Jun 23, 2008 - 02:11am PT
|
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Jun 23, 2008 - 02:12am PT
|
This one makes me very sad.
|
|
Mungeclimber
Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
|
|
|
Jun 23, 2008 - 02:23am PT
|
"ok Sheriff, we're going to f*#k ya now... we're going to f*#k you slow."
"well Mrs. Carlin, your son is failing handwriting."
"of course he is, he's crippled, he's trying to write with his other hand."
Carlin was a profound influence on me, fwiw. He was a philosopher, not just a comedian.
He was one of the first people that ever asked some of the same questions I asked:
"What's there to do in an elevator? .... Except not look at the other guy."
|
|
mojede
Trad climber
Butte, America
|
|
|
Jun 23, 2008 - 02:31am PT
|
P1SS, SH1T, FVCK, CVNT, COXSVCKER, MOTHERFVCKER, T1TS.
Hats off to you, George, and your precious seven words that you can't say on TV.
RIP
|
|
crazyfingers
climber
CA
|
|
|
Jun 23, 2008 - 03:17am PT
|
The most important comedian during my lifetime.
The man was as funny as the best and didn't shy away from anything.
May he rot in flaming hellfire and brimstone for eternity, in agonizing pain, for saying f*ck.
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Jun 23, 2008 - 07:41am PT
|
In prison before the guy gets a lethal injection they swab his arm with alcohol????!!
(still cracks me up)
|
|
Big Breasted Woman
Trad climber
The Brown Crack
|
|
|
Jun 23, 2008 - 08:29am PT
|
No one did or said it better! You broke the mold my friend!
|
|
rlf
Trad climber
Josh, CA
|
|
|
Jun 23, 2008 - 09:04am PT
|
George was an original.
"You know what they're gonna do? Ban toy guns, AND KEEP THE F#CK'N REAL ONES!"
|
|
Wes Allen
Boulder climber
KY
|
|
|
Jun 23, 2008 - 09:33am PT
|
Will be missed for sure...
My favorite rant of his:
"We're so self-important. So self-important. Everybody's going to save something now. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. What? Are these f*#king people kidding me? Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're gonna save the f*#king planet?
I'm getting tired of that sh#t. Tired of that sh#t. I'm tired of f*#king Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world save for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don't give a sh#t about the planet. They don't care about the planet. Not in the abstract they don't. Not in the abstract they don't. You know what they're interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me.
Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are f*#ked. Difference. Difference. The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun?
The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles...hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages...And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet...the planet...the planet isn't going anywhere. WE ARE!
We're going away. Pack your sh#t, folks. We're going away. And we won't leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam. Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet'll be here and we'll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet'll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A surface nuisance.
You wanna know how the planet's doing? Ask those people at Pompeii, who are frozen into position from volcanic ash, how the planet's doing. You wanna know if the planet's all right, ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. Or how about those people in Kilowaia, Hawaii, who built their homes right next to an active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the living room.
The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we're gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, 'cause that's what it does. It's a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed, and if it's true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new pardigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn't share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn't know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, "Why are we here?" Plastic...as#@&%e.
So, the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now. And I think that's begun. Don't you think that's already started? I think, to be fair, the planet sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And the planet can defend itself in an organized, collective way, the way a beehive or an ant colony can. A collective defense mechanism. The planet will think of something. What would you do if you were the planet? How would you defend yourself against this troublesome, pesky species? Let's see... Viruses. Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And, uh...viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps, this first virus could be one that compromises the immune system of these creatures. Perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus, making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction.
Well, that's a poetic note. And it's a start. And I can dream, can't I? See I don't worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think we're part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big Electron...whoooa. Whoooa. Whoooa. It doesn't punish, it doesn't reward, it doesn't judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For a little while."
|
|
Fish Finder
Social climber
THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART
|
|
|
Jun 23, 2008 - 10:39am PT
|
i can picture george at the pearly gates with his cool sarcastic voice telling ethnic and religous jokes to peter to try to get in. god he was funny !
|
|
L
climber
Eating sand on the shores of Malibu...
|
|
|
Jun 23, 2008 - 11:10am PT
|
Carlin's jokes constantly breached the accepted boundaries of comedy and language, particularly with his routine on the "Seven Words" - all of which are taboo on broadcast TV and radio to this day.
When he uttered all seven at a show in Milwaukee in 1972, he was arrested on charges of disturbing the peace, freed on $150 bail and exonerated when a Wisconsin judge dismissed the case, saying it was indecent but citing free speech and the lack of any disturbance.
Good-bye and Bon Voyage, George. Thanks for making the world a funnier place. You will be missed.
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Jun 23, 2008 - 11:11am PT
|
Hey Wes, how about baseball & football?
|
|
Dick_Lugar
Trad climber
Indiana (the other Mideast)
|
|
|
Jun 23, 2008 - 11:23am PT
|
71 yrs. old? I thought he was 71 yrs. old 20 years ago!...godspeed George!
|
|
onyourleft
Social climber
SmogAngeles
|
|
|
Jun 23, 2008 - 12:01pm PT
|
I can’t resist:
Here’s some “Best Of”:
Always do whatever's next.
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.
If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter.
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
Religion is just mind control.
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
The status quo sucks.
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
Think off-center.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
|
|
paganmonkeyboy
climber
mars...it's near nevada...
|
|
|
Jun 23, 2008 - 12:08pm PT
|
we will miss you george...i still haven't found the blue food...
|
|
pud
climber
Sportbikeville
|
|
|
Jun 23, 2008 - 01:27pm PT
|
George was the real king of comedy.
|
|
|
SuperTopo on the Web
|
Let us know!