Hollywood murders climbing; your nominations please.

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Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Topic Author's Original Post - Jul 24, 2007 - 11:57pm PT
WARNING



Can't believe I got suckered into another one. A double sawbuck for a DVD and it turns out to be another bad joke.
I just watched The Contract, buying it on faith since I'm OK with John Cusack and Morgan Freeman and the director had done an interesting film about a woman I knew and even picked up an oscar for another, Tender Mercies.



Clearly neither he nor the writers know much about climbing (or weapons and tactics, or helicopters, or tracking, or ,.....)
Suffice to say that just like the Brangelina lame-ass spy movie this is another one I would be as likely to recommend as another Mel Gibson film.

Lets see, hall of shame:

Cliffhanger
Vertical Limit
K2
The Contract


May I have the envelope please?
Russ Walling

Social climber
Out on the sand.... man.....
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:02am PT
James Bond on that conglomerate rock... beating in the pin, mysterious belay, bad edit on the pin pulling.... Rick Sylvester (?) taking that giant whipper......
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:13am PT
Most films are as phony as a $3 bill when it comes to how they depict climbing. Those with a semblance of a legitimate portrayal are mostly European.

But then, most Hollywood movies are ahistorical claptrap, too.

Little wonder, given there's such a disconnect between reality and some of the great American public. And little George, who believes what he wants to believe, truth be damned.
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 25, 2007 - 12:16am PT
Tim,
when is the last time you went to a climber's funeral and they lowered him into the ground with black ropes?
Chaz

Trad climber
So. Cal.
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:21am PT
Hollywood does a piss-poor job of realisticly portraying anything.

Why should climbing be any different?
nature

climber
Flagstaff, AZ
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:29am PT
Though I must agree with Anders, in that context, it, to this day, amazes me that the Eiger Sanction was pretty damn good especially considering the time it was produced.
mojede

Trad climber
Butte, America
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:41am PT
I have a grainy VHS of "The Climb" about Herman Buhl--it's actually pretty well done. That also goes for "Touching The Void"--though neither of these got hyped by Hollywood. Maybe that's the ticket.
nature

climber
Flagstaff, AZ
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:42am PT
Should not Touching the Void be considered more of a documentary than a Hollywood film? (it was a good one for sure).
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:43am PT
Some climbing documentaries and biographies are ok, and a few are quite good. I wasn't counting them.
sister mercy

Trad climber
Eastside
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:48am PT
how about Clint Eastwood in "the Eiger Sanction" Love the part when he is chasing the Indian girl...
Gunks Guy

Trad climber
Rhinebeck, NY
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:54am PT
Haven't seen Vertical limit yet but I'd bet this is worse:

Take It To The Limit
http://imdb.com/title/tt0251422/

I bought it because of the picture and could barely sit through it.
mojede

Trad climber
Butte, America
Jul 25, 2007 - 12:55am PT
Nature, you may have a point, but TTV had actors, thus disqualifying it from documentary status. Agreed, though, that it isn't "Hollywood" either.
mojede

Trad climber
Butte, America
Jul 25, 2007 - 01:03am PT
I don't want to be buried, but if it happened I'd want all my gear in there with me so that all of my dirtbag pirate friends/partners would have a "booty challenge" to get to the goods.
paganmonkeyboy

Trad climber
the blighted lands of hatu
Jul 25, 2007 - 01:03am PT
vertical limit !
last wednesday in maple, with d skating off dusty cobbles while sis was belaying, i found myself yelling 'look at you ! yer at yer vertical limit !'
she laughed and popped. it was a beautiful thing...

'throw me your knife...' david carradine's finest hour ;-)

i dug the eiger sanction. i remember seeing it as a little kid and thinking 'i gotta climb...but not with these people...'

'You're limping, Ben...'
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 25, 2007 - 01:06am PT
Lets hope thats the only booty challenge they go for.
mojede

Trad climber
Butte, America
Jul 25, 2007 - 01:10am PT
Hear hear, Ron. They ain't THOSE type of pirates.....























































I hope not, anyways !
nature

climber
Flagstaff, AZ
Jul 25, 2007 - 01:24am PT
HO MAN!!! i remember seeing it as a little kid and thinking 'i gotta climb...but not with these people...' No wonder I'm your drummer OR your my geeetar player!! I thought pretty much the same thing.

I'm searching my memory banks but the OJ and Vodka is blocking out - did Werner have something to do with this flick? If it wasn't Werner which "real" climbers from back in the day was it?
the Fet

Knackered climber
A bivy sack in the secret campground
Jul 25, 2007 - 01:26am PT
I can't believe you are disparaging a movie that produced one of the greatest climbing quotes ever.

"You did the right thing to cut the rope. Any good climber would have."
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 25, 2007 - 01:26am PT
The thing is I or anyone of thousands of people could have easily suggested realistic alternatives to accomplish the same storytelling.
For example, in The Contract they want to establish a physical barrier between a group being pursued by another group in a wilderness setting.
Simple, one of the characters could have pulled a rope out of his pack and they could have made a 40' rappel.
Instead you have a 15 year old kid say 'we can climb down here. I did it with ropes on an outward bound course', and in the next shot you see the three of them third classing side by side down a fake cliff (side by side because naturally all routes on a cliff of uniform steepness have the same difficulty).

Oh, and did I mention its raining?

Oh, and did I mention that one of them is Morgan Friggin White-haired Freeman?

Oh, and did I mention that he is naughty so the other two have to keep a gun on him while downclimbing side by side?



Sheesh!
paganmonkeyboy

Trad climber
the blighted lands of hatu
Jul 25, 2007 - 01:32am PT
what about the climbing scene in Capricorn One ? where the guy is telling himself the joke ?

So how's mom ?

well, mom chased a squirrel up onto the roof...
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